


Bokuto Sayuri

by LilyofOurFanfics



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ASSAULT WARNING, Action, Affair/Cheating, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst, Comedy, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Half-Siblings, Hurt/Comfort, I also write phrases in Japanese so bear with me, I am starting with them as second years but i will eventually write about them as third years, Kid Fic, M/M, Psychological, Romance, Slice of Life, lovechild, occasional swearing guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 17:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 81,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12893535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyofOurFanfics/pseuds/LilyofOurFanfics
Summary: Having a brother has never been an issue. But having a bastard brother is a whole different thing. After 16 years of a stable family life, Bokuto Sayuri meets Bokuto Eita, her half-brother. After Eita starts attending her school, her recklessness only makes things worse for herself. But a few dirty little secrets puts them all in deadly danger.(Featuring some of your favorite ships and endearing new characters!)





	1. A Warning

**Author's Note:**

> This work is mostly narrated from Bokuto Sayuri's POV. It is written in past tense since she is narrating the events that occurred in second year. I am also trying to stay true to modern Japanese culture in this fanfiction. ALSO in this alternate universe TWO MEN can have children.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Prologue:
> 
> My name is Bokuto Sayuri. My parents are both male but I was born from my father's Tetsurō's womb. Regardless that!! I live happily with both of my parents in the Miyagi prefecture....well...we used to live happily until a man named Akaashi Keiji came around a year ago with a guy that looked my age. He claimed that the boy is named Bokuto Eita...yes...B O K U T O the same name as my father, as me. My father Kōtarō did not leave us but promised to give financial support to the Akaashi man and his son. 
> 
> It didn't bother me too much until I walked to class 2-1 the day after that event. The teacher introduced a new student who resembled the man my father Tetsurō loathes. An heir of my father Kōtarō's hair, blood, and name: my half-brother, Bokuto Eita, whom I wished everyone in the class stopped asking if he was related to me.

 "That can't be!! You have the same eyes!"

My classmates sure are good observers since when I tried to make them believe Eita wasn't related.  

Then, others decided to bring up other qualities that my half-brother and I shared

"Their noses!!" 

"They send off the same vibe!!!" 

"Their strong built bodies!" 

Well, I couldn't help but giggle at that last comment since I'm forever thankful for inheriting my father's Kōtarō physique. He used to be the ace of Fukurodani's Volleyball Team back in High School! My father Tetsurō also used to play Volleyball back in his school years as well but in Nekoma High. I do enjoy playing volleyball but the girls' team is weak at Shiratorizawa. I'm part of the swimming team instead but that doesn't stop me from throwing some tosses to the boys' team.

Our homeroom teacher called everybody down to their seats and Eita sat down a few rows away from me. 

I gave Eita some elusive glances. He had the same black with white ends hair as my father, but instead, he wore it down similar to that Akaashi man. It is true, his facial features and strong physique were the same as mine; but, unlike him, my mid-neck length hair was purely black and I was taller, tanner than him. 

Yet, it did not take him long to notice me staring. I have never seen my eyes or my father's with such vicious gaze, unlike this boy. His cold, analytical stare forced me to look away to avoid freezing to death.

After the first period, he approached my desk. 

"I really don't want you to hold grudges, okay?" He said and giggled a little bit "I actually think it's cool, having a sister, even if it's a half-sister.....Do you think....maybe....we could treat each other as brother and sister?"

That was it, I couldn't hold it. First, he looked at me as if I were a rotten piece of meat, and then he approached me talking so disgustingly sweet.

I abruptly stood up from my chair, causing him to slightly jump away. I stare at the floor for a few seconds, gaining some composure.

"Okay, when's your birthday?" I was able to pull off a smile. 

 His--my father's--MY eyes shined with hope "November 11! What about yours?"

I chuckled "Right. Listen to me Eita **-kun.** You can't just come up and say something like that, can you?" I leaned closer "Can't you see what happened? My parents had already had ME when YOUR father lured my father back to him and had YOU" I shrieked and slammed my desk. 

I knew it was such a cruel accusation to make but I couldn't stand to think that my father willingly went back to that Akaashi man after he married Tetsurō. Still, I continued "You and your father came with the resolve to destroy my family, do you think I am **that** dumb? Why are you even here?" 

I sighed and took my books in my arms. I placed my hand on his shoulder and leaned close to whisper in his ear "You're not and will never be my brother. Why did you take the Bokuto name? You are disgusting." And then I made my way towards the hall. 

 "Onee-chan" I halted and looked back, exasperated. 

 He was laughing. His gaze piercing right through my very soul. How could someone look so different in a blink of an eye?

I jumped back a little when Eita swiftly extended his arm to point at me.

"Let me get this straight," He smirked "I did not come to ruin your life, but if you were to get it as tough as me you could never survive. Not like you are now, believe me."

I scoffed, approaching him again just to move that index finger off my face.

"The fuck do you mean?" I growled

"Life is a war you could never survive, spoiled child"

I inhaled, trying not to choke this bastard.

"Is that a threat?"  

"A warning."

 

 I should have paid attention to this. That way, I could have prevented dragging everyone to hell with me.


	2. Family Matters

I tried to dry my tears as I walked home, I didn't want my parents to worry. 

"Tadaima" I faked a cheerful tone as took off my school shoes and switched them for sandals at the entrance of my house. 

"Okaerinasai" Replied my father Tetsurō from the kitchen. It smelled really nice so I approached. 

"How was school today? I'm making Gyudon, your favorite" He turned back to smile at me for a second. 

"It was ok--mmmm! that's why it smells so nice!, well, everything you cook is delicious dad" I nervously grinned

"Sayu--" Dad was interrupted by a strong slam of the front door. 

"TA. DA. I. MAAAA" Kōtarō came in jumping, alternating his feet. He held Tetsurō by his waist with both hands and kissed him softly. 

He was approaching me to hug me but I slipped from his arms and stormed into my room "Ihavesomuchhomeworkhellodad" I shouted before locking the door. 

The room was dark and I didn't bother to turn on the lights. I stuck to the door and slowly sank to the floor, crying. _'Why did my dad met with that Akaashi man after he was already married to my father?'_ This was the only thing that roamed in my head. 

I remember one time he was mentioned in a conversation after I graduated from middle school. My parents began telling me stories from their high school years. My father Kōtarō mentioned this Akaashi was a setter at Fukurodani's Volleyball Team and his best friend. 

But one thing disturbed me even more, why did Tetsurō let Kōtarō kiss him? Just a day ago he knew Kōtarō had a son with Akaashi.....or maybe....maybe he KNEW it all this time???

I slammed the door open and, with heavy steps, I walked to the kitchen. 

"Just in time to set the table Sayu--" 

I slammed the kitchen counter.

"DID YOU KNOW ABOUT IT ALL TETSU--OTŌ-SAN??" I cried.

My parents exchanged surprised looks. "Sayuri calm down right now," Kōtarō said in a serious tone. 

I became more upset. "Why did you went off to that Akaashi man after marrying my father?" I squealed. Tetsurō stood up quickly to hug me. He was trembling.  

Kōtarō gulped "H-how do you know that?"

"Honey...did something happen in school today?" Tetsurō said nervously. 

I breathed, trying to calm down a little. "H-he's in my class" I escaped from my dad's embrace to reach out for a napkin. My father Kōtarō took the napkin in his hand and instead gave me a handkerchief. "T-thanks" I said with my puffy nose. 

I looked up at my father's eyes. The same as mine in this moment: red and dripping tears. 

"I'm so sorry Sayuri I-" he sobbed. 

It really broke my heart to see him like this. I looked at Tetsurō. He led Kōtarō to the living room and sat him down. While they both walked, I served up three glasses of water. 

When I arrived in the living room we were all calmer. 

Kōtarō took a deep breath "It was my mistake. Months after we got married your father and I got into a really big fight so I decided to visit my parents in Tokyo. Why was that even for? They didn't really want me home after they knew I am gay. I was very lonely that night after my parents kicked me out. When I found him walking down the street, smiling at me, my boyfriend once, my closest friend. I couldn't help-i-t-" 

He was sobbing inconsolably. Both Tetsurō and I caressed his back. 

When he calmed down he continued "When I realized what I had done, I came back to Tetsurō begging forgiveness. I left him here with you in his womb and cheated on him with Akaashi" He snorted loudly "Your father is the best man in the world Sayuri, and you are the best daughter. Neither of you deserved this, and I didn't know Akaashi got pregnant, you know? It's actually very hard for a man to get pregnant, Tetsurō and I tried for half a year to have you. I felt responsible for Eita. After all, Akaashi raised him all on his own. I still don't know why they moved here, but you are my family and I'll never leave you" 

We were all crying and hugging each other in the end. Dinner went perfect, we shared stories and laughed a lot, Gyudon's flavor was really enhanced in good company. 


	3. Friends and The Fiend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, THINGS START TO GET REAL IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!
> 
> have Spotify/Youtube or another music site open before reading (you will see in a bit)
> 
> as always, enjoy!!

I woke up the next day earlier than usual so I got ready for school. I watched a couple of anime episodes and made some memes and sent them to my friend Stella. 

She replied instantly 'ｌｏｌｙｏｕ ｕｐ ｍａｋｉｎｇ ｍｅｍｅｓ ｓｏｅａｒｌｙ？' 

I replied ' ｏｆ     c ｏｕｒｓｅ！！ '

 

Stella has been my friend for many years. We have always shared the same interests. Actually, I am very sociable, the fact that my parents are both males didn't alienate me. 

I decided to get breakfast but, too late, my parents were already up and ready to go. 

I crossed my arms and tilted my hip "Well well look who is up so early". 

Kōtarō flipped abruptly from the stove "HEH???!!? Sayuri I drive you to school every day but HEYHEYHEYYY!!! My sunshine" He kissed my forehead with a pan in hand. 

"AiYaaa!!! Be careful dad" I scolded him. 

Tetsurō grinned as he drank his coffee and read the newspaper. 

It's true, Kōtarō drives me to school every day. He is the kind of father who played music loudly and sang along all the lyrics. Whenever he can, he would pick me up after school, and we would end up going to the local arcade for a while, or buying dessert for dinner. 

* * *

"HAVE A GOOD ONE SUNSHINE!!" He waved goodbye after I got out of the car, attracting some gazes towards us. I walked to my shoebox and met up with some friends.

"Oi Bokuto, your father sure is loud, I was only half awake until I heard him shouting. How refreshing" I chuckled and made my way to class. 

I was walking down the hall when someone clutched onto my back 

"STELLA!!! I could greet you properly but you decided to jump on my back so..." 

Iwazumi Stella. She is half-American, white and slim with light brown hair, visibly shorter than me. She was surely the one to be collected out the two of us, but sometimes she got so fired up I barely recognized her but that didn't change the fact that I hold her dear in my heart. Even though I haven't told him about Eita. 

She hopped off my back, looking like a hyperactive bunny. 

"Oi oi oiiii, is something wrong Stella-chan?"

"Are you going to practice with the Volleyboys, Lily-chan?" She pronounced my name in the American style, so cool!! She was just craaaaazy for Yamagata-chan. 

"Probably, Tendō-chan and Ōhira-chan always come by after swimming practice to see if I'm up to some tosses," I said as we started walking again "You should probably wait for me after swimming practice so I can sneak you up for volleyball practice after swimming; I'll be super tired but..." I started spinning in the hall "for the sake of reuniting you with your Romeo" I said in a cheesy voice making a Western reverence. 

Stella blushed and giggled "Thank you so much Lily-chan, I'll sit on the benches to read some manga and cheer from time to time"

I smiled broadly "Yay!!" I placed a hand on my chin "Actually I have to catch up with Tendō-chan about Shounen Jump"

* * *

So we settled up our plans and parted different ways to our respective classes which were a breeze. Break was super fun, I sat with Stella and other friends, Tendō sat with us for a while as well as Ushijima-chan. We are basically a bunch of clowns and fangirls/boys, sometimes I feel Ushijima-chan is way too serious, oh, and he's actually my lefty buddy, he just....doesn't smiles or laughs a lot ???

After last period, we met up and made our way to the pools. While on our way, making jokes and fangirling, suddenly Stella went quiet. "Um....Lily-chan, don't you think Tendō has been paying you more attention than usual lately?"

"Huh?? Tendō and I have been very close since we all started High School" I started feeling slightly hot in my cheeks. "Stella-chan...are you trying to say that he-- I don't know, that he likes me?" I grinned nervously.

She chuckled lightly "I've always thought he likes you, I just think he's planning to finally make a move"

I felt as I turned bright red "S-sTELLA--" I squealed.

"We have arrived" She opened the doors to the pools and she grinned "But don't mind it that much, go and swim that red off your face" She waved goodbye as I went to the lockers. 

I got in my swimsuit and made my warm-ups before diving in the pool. Sorry Stella, but that's all I'm thinking about now. I've always found Tendō sweet and I feel so enchanted whenever he gets fired up; he's outstanding in volleyball as well!! I dropped my jaw when I first saw him play in an official match, and we like the same things as well. He has been to my house a couple times, sometimes to celebrate victories with the team, sometimes to watch some anime we are hyped about, sometimes he drops by on the weekends with some snacks and unread manga volumes he buys. My parents used to tease me a lot about him back in first-year but I told them to stop...they still do sometimes. 

"OI BOKUTO-CHAAAAN WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE EVERYONE IS ALREADY SWIMMING" I went back to my senses to look up where Tendō was shouting at me, standing next to Ōhira and Stella. 

I was trembling, embarrassed but I had to act normal "Hey Tendō-chan!!" I finally dived into the pool....but....instead of washing off the red on my cheeks they just got redder. 

_ 'Does he actually likes me? I would DIE if he just looks at me as a good friend' wait-- what did I just thought?? Sayuri, do you want him to look at you as more than a friend?? Ok calm down, first do you like him? Yeah, I mean he's very nice and I find him super cool with me and my friends'  _

 

** *play Love on the Brain de Rihanna NOW* **

 

I started swimming properly _'Second, do you think he's handsome?'_

The coach whistled for us swimmers to change to backstroke swimming. I saw Stella and Ōhira talking cheerily while Tendō was staring intensely at me when he figured I was looking his way, he blushed and looked away slightly.

_'He's tall and I find his dorky expressions adorable, his red spiky hair is really soft actually, I've touched it before'_

He looked back at me and I smiled at him, he smiled back broadly and his pupils, that are normally small, were so wide and his eyes shined. 

"B-bokuto-chan nice swimming you have going on there!!" He said excited, I could see he was grabbing the bar in front of him too tightly now. 

I smiled at him again.

_ 'I actually find him attractive, but I will wait for Tendō-chan to come to me first' _

I finished practice and changed into comfortable, sporty clothes. I met with Stella, Tendō, and Ōhira at the hall outside the pools. 

"Bokuto--" Tendō ran towards me, took my bag and carried me in his arms "--chaaaan!!" He started spinning and I looked at him comfortably in his arms. I blushed a little when he stopped spinning and looked right into my eyes. "Huh? Are you tired because of swimming? Aw! I really wanted to practice some tosses with youuu" He pouted.

I couldn't help but chuckle. 

"I'm good for some tosses, now carry me to the Volleyball gym" I arched one of my eyebrows, and made an arrogant face that then collapsed to laughs. He did not laugh, instead, he contemplated me with his mouth half open. 

After a while he snapped from his trance "H-hHAI BOKUTO-SAMA" He started jogging with me in his arms, Ōhira and Stella caught up.

Stella looked at me with a face like 'oyaoyaoya' ~~(yes, yes I did the oya oya)~~ and Ōhira looked at me like 'he's crazy for you' I just nodded, grinning. Tendō looked like he was lost in a daydream, pressing me against him. 

We arrived at the gym, the other players saw me in Tendō's arms, Ushijima-chan looked particularly shocked. 'TENDŌ NICE RECEIVEEEE' some of them shouted, but he remained in his daydream. 

I poked at his chest, and he immediately looked down to me. I blushed....again. "S-satori-kun" HE GASPED "Do you think you can put me down?" 

"OF COURSE MY LO--BOKUTO-SAMA" He slowly put me down, his hands shaking "W-where do I put y-your bag?" He squeezed the handle with both hands in front of him. 

 

** *music OFF* **

 

"It's okay, you can give it to me, I'll leave it with Iwazumi-chan" I grinned, GOD, He was so adorable. 

I turned to the rest of the boys and grabbed Stella by an arm who was already eyeing Yamagata 

"Hello guys, mind if I practice some tosses with you? Can Iwazumi-chan stay?"

"Of course, welcome girls!" They all said excited. 

"SHE CALLED ME SATORI-KUN!!" I heard Tendō as he jumped in front of Shirabū and Ōhira. 

I chuckled.

Stella sat on the benches and Yamagata approached her to talk, she sneaked a thumbs up to me on the side.

I shouted deliberately "YOU GO GIRL~~" 

I started practicing receives with Ōhira when Koraito-chan, the team captain back then, called everyone to the gather in front of him. 

"My fellow team mates, today I called you all formally to introduce you to a newbie, interested to be in the team" I chuckled along the boys until I saw who walked in. 

"I introduce you to Bokuto Eita" Everyone greeted him and then turned towards me "HEH? Bokuto-chan, is he related to you?" 

"Lily-chan?" Stella said confused "Why does this guy resembles you a bit too much??"

Tendō jumped in front of Eita "Iwazumi-chan is right Bokuto-chan! Why does this guy has your pretty eyes?"

I replied to neither of them and laughed loudly, staring at Eita, who looked nervous. 

I turned to Koraito. "Oi, Koraito-san, can I test the newbie?" I grinned back at Eita, looking down on him. 

"Great idea Bokuto-chan! Pick your players" Then he placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered this in my ear "Go easy on him. And what got into you? Jeez, you got everyone creeping out"

"Don't worry" I winked at him and then faced Eita and spoke out loud "Let's see if we're actually related"

Eita smiled pompously back at me. 

 

* * *

**THE BOKUTO SIBLINGS SHOWDOWN UNRAVELS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [REMEMBER YOU CAN COMMENT WITHOUT HAVING AN ACCOUNT!]


	4. よくやったね！ー Good Job!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is more volleyball oriented (you know...is a fanfic about a volleyball anime so might as well!)  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

"Ushijima-chan, Shirabū-kun" I called for them to join me for this three-on-three match. 

Koraito patted Eita's back "It's your turn to pick"

Eita looked closely at the players, trying to guess what was their forte. Then he turned back to Koraito "Koraito-san, would you be on my team?" 

The latter nodded happily. Then he pointed at Yamagata, asking his name and then picking him. 

I overheard Yamagata asking him about his experience; Eita played setter back in Tokyo. 

I rolled my eyes. 

_ 'Same as that Akaashi man.'  _

His team wasn't that good, very unbalanced. Yamagata excels on receives and had fair experience on blocking, terrible at offense though. Koraito's forte was blocking indeed, and he was the most powerful on offense, Ushijima being second best, but Koraito's speed was awful. I did not know about Eita though. 

I picked my team wisely since I know how they all played, but I could not blame Eita. He just walked in and I was already challenging him......maybe what Stella said is true: I have no chill.

Stella who I've been ignoring for a few minutes now while she hissed my name to catch my attention. 

She ended up tugging my shirt. "What the HELL is going on?" 

I sighed "It's better if we go eat after this and I tell you then" She was about to complain but I spoke again "Believe me, you don't want to have a heart attack now. And seize this moment, Yamagata is playing!!" I winked, walking in the court to warm up. 

My team was perfect. If Tendō was the Guess Monster, I was the Receive Demon, I reacted quickly to any ball coming from the rival team, my tempo was on point, my blocking and spiking skills were average but super effective. Shirabū was a phenomenal setter and blocked balls with ease. Ushijima was the next top wing spiker of Shiratorizawa. His power and speed excelled, his height was made for blocking and he could smoothly connect as well. 

_ 'They would need a miracle to break us.'  _

Ōhira blew the whistle for us to begin. 

_'21 points, this will be over quickly'_ I thought. 

* * *

 

_Starting positions:: Left side of the court: Front, Koraito, and Yamagata. Eita serve. Right side of the court: Front, Ushijima, and Shirabū. Rear, Bokuto._

 

Eita pulls up a quick jump serve, I was about to receive it until I swerved quickly to the right. 

"Tch," I complained as I barely lost it. 

"Nice receive!" Said Shirabū as he tossed the ball to Ushijima who quickly slammed it to the other side, scoring a point. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 01 - 1 - Bokuto E 00_ **

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Eita, and Koraito. Rear, Yamagata. Right side of the court: Front, Bokuto, and Ushijima. Shirabū serve._

 

Shirabū served and Yamagata easily passed it to Eita who tossed it to Koraito. 

Ushijima and I raised quickly to block it. 

"ONE TOUCH" We both shouted. 

Shirabū pulled off a toss "Bokuto-chan"

I jumped quickly to spike it. 

It was one of those moments you see the other side of the court clearly, in slow-motion, I could see Yamagata moving to receive my spike, Tendō looking at me excited with his face flushed a bright red; and last, I saw Eita from above, flexing his legs to jump, I smiled down at him and aimed the ball at Yamagata's opposite side. 

I slowly descended and moved my lips to say a soundless 'too slow' to Eita's frustrated face. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 02 - 1 - Bokuto E 00_ **

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Yamagata, and Eita. Koraito serve. Right side of the court: Front, Shirabū, and Bokuto. Rear, Ushijima._

 

Koraito sent off a powerful serve who Ushijima received with just one arm, causing the ball to fall on our side the court. 

"YOSHAAAAAA!! Bokuto-kun your time to shine is overrr" Koraito said, getting pumped up. 

I turned my head above my shoulder and threw a shady smile at him "Huh? As if"

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 02 - 1 - Bokuto E 01_ **

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Koraito, and Yamagata. Rear, Eita. Right side of the court: Front, Ushijima, and Shirabū. Bokuto serve._  

 

I relied on a quick jump serve that Eita quickly received. Reading his body, I was sure he was going to set it for Koraito so I was standing my ground to receive from any of the two. 

Instead, he jumped from the back, before crossing the line and pulled off a quick. I tried to save the ball that slowly fell in front of me. I never reached it. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 02 - 1 - Bokuto E 02_ **

 

**skippinggggg** {{ lol. I can't }}

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 12- 1 - Bokuto E 15_ **

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Koraito, and Yamagata. Rear, Eita. Right side of the court: Front, Ushijima, and Shirabū. Bokuto serve._

 

My turn to serve....again. I was growing desperate. Eita blocked many of my spikes and I have scored just 2 points ever since. Both of my teammates were concerned about my mood. Tendō looked very confused as well as Stella who looked like a mother holding back a huge scowl for her daughter when they get home. I wasn't really minding any of this, instead, I was focusing on beating the hell out of Eita, and it clearly wasn't working well. 

"Damn it all" As I jumped and slammed the ball with fury to the other side of the court, ready to break through anyone who got in the way. 

Everybody was watching me with concerned eyes while Eita was giving me a _'not bad'_ look. I huffed angrily. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 13 - 1 - Bokuto E 15_ **

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Eita, and Koraito. Yamagata serve. Right side of the court: Front, Bokuto, and Ushijima. Rear, Shirabū._

 

Yamagata's serve was easily received by Shirabū. I looked back to see him telling me to serve it to Ushijima, I raised two fingers and rocked my wrist up and down behind my back to let Ushijima know. 

His spike was slightly blocked by Eita. 

"One touch!!" He announced.

Yamagata connected the ball to Eita and Koraito jumped ready to spike yet I read Eita's movement and moved my feet to meet his dump shot. He tched as he descended and I directed the ball high enough for Ushijima to spike it. 

"NICE SAVE!!" All the spectators cheered and I smiled towards them. 

"OHHHHH DID YOU SEE THAT??? THAT'S THE RECEIVE DEMON FOR YOU" Tendō started cheering while the others laughed awkwardly saying things like 'man, calm down'

"So kind Tendō, so kind" I thanked him, slightly blushing. 

He reached his hand to his chest delighted and bowed down as his cheeks blushed violently. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 14 - 1 - Bokuto E 15_ **

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Yamagata, and Eita. Rear, Koraito. Right side of the court: Front, Shirabū, and Bokuto. Ushijima serve._

Ushijima's resorted to his dreaded jump serve that, just because he practice A LOT with him, Koraito, with an ounce or two of extra strength, was able to stop it and pass it to Eita that set for Yamagata. 

"ONE TOUCH," I told Ushijima who received the ball and connected it to Shirabū who opted to toss it to me. 

When my time came to spike, I met a two-man block formed by Eita and Yamagata, knocking the ball down my side of the court. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 14 - 1 - Bokuto E 16_ **

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Koraito, and Yamagata. Eita serve. Right side of the court: Front, Ushijima, and Shirabū. Rear, Bokuto._

 

Eita came again with the cheap trick of a float serve that I connected back to Shirabū who decided to go for dump shot, so quick that Yamagata couldn't save it. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 15 - 1 - Bokuto E 16_ **

 

****skippinggggg**** (heheh, sorryyyy)

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 19 - 1 - Bokuto E 20_ **

 

_\- Match point-_

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Eita, and Koraito. Yamagata serve. Right side of the court: Front, Ushijima, and Shirabū. Rear, Bokuto._

 

Yamagata made a brutal serve that, for the cost of aching red arms, I was able to receive and connect to Shirabū who, before preparing to make a toss, shook his arm to signal he was going to toss to me. I hummed in excitement and as soon as the ball was floating in the air, I ran to score with a quick. 

 

**_Board_ **

**_Bokuto S 20 - 1 - Bokuto E 20_ **

 

_-Match point-_

 

_Rotation_

_Left side of the court: Front, Yamagata, and Eita. Rear, Koraito. Right side of the court: Bokuto, and Ushijima. Shirabū serve._

 

Koraito connected Shirabū's serve to Eita who pulled a quick toss for Yamagata. Ushijima blocked the quick.

"NICE SAVE!" The spectators cheered Eita, Stella's voice rising above the others. Eita smiled bashfully. 

I chuckled and rolled my eyes 

_'God, can't he just give up?'_ I thought as I prepared myself after Shirabū's receive. 

I opted to toss it to Ushijima but his spike was received by Koraito and connected to Yamagata, tossing it to Eita. 

I jumped to block it and I saw his face of satisfaction. I wanted to tell him to erase that expression from his face but instead, it grew wider, as the ball slipped through my arms. 

What I heard after were the roars from the other side of the court, congratulations to Eita, and surprised comments about my defeat. Ushijima and Shirabū patted each of my shoulders, accompanied by reliables 'don't mind, don't mind. Great game, thanks for the hard work' 

But it was so unsettling seeing the board

 

**_Bokuto S 20 - 1 - Bokuto E 21_ **

 

Apparently, Eita was the miracle they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this one!  
> I got to rewatch the 3-on-3 match which determined whether Hinata and Kageyama would join Karasuno's Volleyball Team for inspiration!! (That is season 1, episode 4 btw)
> 
> As always, I always appreciate feedback and your predictions!
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!


	5. Understanding

I stared blankly at my hamburger plate for what seemed an eternity _'how could he defeat me? How was he so good? how could he defeat me? How was he so good? how could he defeat me? How was he so good? how could he defeat me? How was he so go--'_

I snapped out of it after a few good shakes from Stella. "Oi, do you know we can hear you? And what the hell is up with you? I've never seen you so delusional and emo about something before" She scolded. 

I gave her a wary look after hearing the word ‘emo'. I decided to grab my hamburger and start eating it. Stella, Tendō, Ōhira, Yamagata, and Ushijima are looking expectantly at me. 

"What do you want?" I asked between bites. 

"I don't know, what about you tell us why you snapped after that guy appeared? Who is he and why does he has your name, Lily-chan? Besides, you guys look alike." Stella demanded, hands below her chin, ready to listen to my answers. The boys nodded, looking back at me. 

When I finished my food I had no other excuses but to tell them everything. Their expressions on their faces read as 'well...THAT'S spicy'

"It must be so weird for you Lily-chan, for anyone in that situation really but you know I'm here for you," Stella said in a deep, understanding voice.

"I see you have your reasons for acting as you did before, Bokuto-chan," Ushijima said calmly. 

"It must be tough but you can count on me, Bokuto-chan," Tendō said, in what felt a warm and reliable voice. 

"We are here for you Bokuto-chan! Let's us take care of you in this as well" Ōhira and Yamagata smiled and raised their thumbs up. 

I could not help but to smile and thank them all. 

 

After an hour at the burger place, we decided to say goodbye and head to our houses. Stella was accompanied by Yamagata who I whistled at, making his face flush and Stella grin. Ushijima and Ōhira parted the other way. I was starting to walk when Tendō offered himself to walk me home. 

We were talking about manga series lively until the conversation died out. We both fell silent. 

"Say....Bokuto-chan" I faced up to see him staring at me with wide eyes. 

"Yes?" I smiled and stared at the ground again so he could not see my cheeks starting to blush. 

"Bokuto Eita might be your half-brother but you're a full beauty" His hand reached my chin. Tendō made me look at him, whose cheeks were as, or even more, red than mine; his smile was bright but his hand was trembling, beginning to feel cold. 

"You're too kind, Tendō" I decided to take his hand on mine instead.

 _'You look like an angel'_ I thought a little too loud and then gasped after realizing I actually said it. 

"You didn't mean that?" He seemed disappointed. 

"I-I do!" I objected, gripping his hand tighter. 

He chuckled and freed himself from my grasp in order to have his hand meet my waist as he sank me into his chest. 

"I'm no angel but I'll always treat you as if I am" I heard his voice in deep hums, making me hold him tightly. 

After a few seconds, we resumed walking as normal. But this time, he was holding my hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit short, sorry!
> 
> however, I am also uploading chapter 6 today so yay!


	6. すまん！

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hiragana of the title is pronounced 'suman' which is short for sumimasen (and also an informal way of saying it). 
> 
> You will get the context when you read the chapter!
> 
> Also, have youtube or spotify or any other music site open for this chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

_** *play Closer by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey* ** _

 

Stella walked to school the next day, none of her friends were there when she arrived. She planned to stay put in a corner and scroll through memes until everyone came. Things didn't go as planned. 

Stella was organizing stuff in her locker. 

"Hello Iwaizumi-san," said someone. 

As soon as Stella closed her locker, she saw that white-with-black-ends hair. Her heart started pumping with excitement. 

"おーはよう (O-ohayō--Good Morning)" She replied timidly, smiling at Bokuto Eita and facing her locker again. 

Why did she feel so shy? Stella is not really the most sociable person but she is sassy, talking with confidence and an audible tone. 

Still confuzzled (confused + puzzled) about her behavior, Stella shut her locker door to face Eita. 

"How are you today?" 

When she saw his smile, Stella knew she was doomed. She has avoided looking too much at him but now she could not deny Bokuto Eita is precious. But Stella was not going to lose her mind for him. 

"I am good, what about you?" Stella smiled as naturally as she could. 

"I am great! I still can't believe I made it into the volleyball team!" Eita grinned "Shiratorizawa is a powerhouse, after all, it is an honor." He stood straight again and bowed a little but for a bit too much time. 

Stella grinned and shook (SHOOOOOOK) her hand up and down, signaling him to stop bowing. He did so. 

"That is good but..." Stella leaned closer to Eita "...they play serious on the court but that is just a façade because the truth is that they are dorks." She stared at Eita's eyes while his face turned red, not sure if it is because of Stella or embarrassment for his overly polite behavior. Maybe it was a mixture of both. 

After coming back from wandering in Stella's hazel eyes, he jumped back and bowed continuously. His forehead almost touching the floor. 

"本当？すまん！(Hontō? SUMAN!)" He continued bowing down, apologizing for his behavior and especially for making visual contact for too long. 

"Funny how your language is informal but you are acting formally" Stella commented, attempting to distract herself from how nervous she actually felt.  "Oh well, it looks like there is nothing you can do about it" She stopped his head, feeling Eita's whole body tense up. 

_'Her hand! so soft!! so delicate!!! on my hair!!!!'_ Eita thought as he reincorporated, with a face that resembled a dog enjoying being petted. 

"Wow, your hair is so soft" Stella started running her hand through his hair. 

_ 'SO IS YOUR HAND'   _ He thought

She stopped a second later, embarrassed, drawing her hand away. 

"Sorry" Stella stared at the floor. 

"D-don't stop" 

Stella turned back to face him, who stared at her with confident but begging eyes. 

"I don't mind" Eita hesitantly reached for Stella's hand, holding it firmly after her consent. "At all" He abstained from caressing her hand. 

*Song OFF*

Stella nodded and reached his hair. Her hand froze. 

_ 'What about Yamagata?'  _ She thought

It was the fairest question her subconscious could ask in that moment. Yamagata was her romantic interest, they were not officially anything and he hasn't even made a move on her. But it was still wrong. Eita is Sayuri's half-brother whom she hates and makes her feel uneasy. She just met him two days ago, she could not have these feelings. 

Yet she could not stop, Eita did not look worthy of her skepticism. She caressed his hair and let herself fall deep in the first formal conversation two people have when they are falling for each other. 

 

* * *

Sayuri arrives to school later than usual, hurrying to at least talk a little bit with Stella before heading to class. 

She could not find here anywhere. 

Worried, Sayuri asked a few of her classmates, who answered her nervously as if they knew something but did not dare to tell her in order to not to make her upset.  

She was starting to get more worried as she wandered through the halls to find Stella. She heard laughter and soon started following it. As she got closer, she thought it was Stella. 

Sayuri surely found Stella around the corner, she could recognize her laugh anywhere. 

What she did not recognize was her best friend laughing with the enemy while they held hands. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!!
> 
> Oh! and from this chapter on there will be more phrases in Japanese so yay to the good (bad) stuff, depends on how you feel about it. (I like it though)


	7. Waterfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of 2018!
> 
> Chapters start getting longer from now on.
> 
> Enjoy!

I stomped the floor to cease their laughter. 

"Oh wow" I growled and left with heavy steps. 

A few instants later, Stella was tugging my jacket. I turned back, looking at her with deadly eyes. 

"Are you seriously going to get mad because I am talking to him?" Stella stared at me with an incredulous look. 

I just stared back, letting her know how unfair she was acting; letting her know I wanted to be as unrelated, as I could, to him; letting her know I loved her but I would not tolerate this. 

Her grip loosed and she nodded. Stella got the message but her eyes told me this conversation was not over. 

"鳥 カフェ？ 6pm で？ (Tori Café? At 6pm?)" Stella asked as if she was asking for forgiveness. 

I smiled a little. " はい (Yes)" I let go of her shoulder and turned around to go to class. 

* * *

 

Stella really knows me. Ugh. She invited me to my favorite café in town just so I would not be a little too mad at her. 

"I will be back soon" I announced at the front door while I put my shoes on. 

"Have a good one, love!" I heard my parents say just before I shut the door. 

Stella and I discovered Tori Café in spring of our first year. The place was actually made by a group who had graduated from Shiratorizawa recently. 

The café is beautiful; the façade had birds painted along with branches of cherry trees, marigolds, and dandelions in pastel colors on the white wall. It had wildflowers set on large rectangular wood pots at ground level. 

Inside, the walls were painted pastel blue. There were birdcages hanging from the roof; red and yellow flowers placed. 

I was greeted by Harusato ( 春里、 means Spring Village), one of the owners of the place, who was tending a table. She had her parakeet on her shoulder. 

"こんばわ (konbawa/good afternoon), Bokuto-kun, how is everything?" She pulled off a smile as radiant as the sun, blinding me for a second. 

"I-is all good, what about you Harusato-senpai?" I smiled at her. 

"Superb!" Harusato twirled gently, without disturbing her parakeet and keeping a cup from falling off the tray on her hand. 

I giggled at the sight. Harusato is full of grace. 

"I am glad"

"Are you on your own today? Where is Iwaizumi-kun?" She tilted her head to the side, so did her parakeet. 

I bit my tongue and forced a smile. 

"Yeah, Iwaizumi-chan is also coming" 

"Is everything alright, Bokuto-kun?" 

Ugh. Why did I have to bump into someone as perceptive as Harusato today?

"Noth--" She interrupted me. 

"I see I see.... I will make you some tea! Sit down and relax!" Harusato smiled and guided me to a table. 

Honestly, their decoration is so lovely. Wooden tables painted white and a vase with a beautiful, pink flower. There is also a porcelain candlestick, painted with cherry blossom branches. The utensils are delicate, with silver engravings on the hand's end. I looked down to the personal bamboo tablecloth which has an Edo style painting of a waterfall with a haiku written on the side. 

 

_Rushing white water_

_Crashes down with lethal force_

_Beautiful to see_

_-Gage Hudak_

 

I smiled at the irony. My temper is explosive, but my personality is sweet and caring. 

After my moment of contemplation, Harusato walked to the table I was sitting at. 

She placed the cup in front of me. Chai tea, with the drawing of a bird and a phrase:

" 元気になる！(Genkininaru!) "  ➖ "Cheer up!"

I looked up and smiled "Harusato-san, you are really talented" 

"Oh please! I tried my best. Glad you liked it, enjoy!" She blushed "I also brought youuu~~" Gently placing a plate containing two bird-shaped cookies. "~~~~shortbread cookies!!"

I smiled widely "T-than--" 

Harusato placed a tiny bowl and the cutest tiny spoon ever!! It had a bird engraved on the back. 

"There! Matcha powder! It enhances the flavor, a little hack of mine. Totally recommend it!"

I giggled "Thank you very much, Harusato-san" I smiled widely. 

"Aah! That is how I like to see you" She smiled back. "Now now, I will leave you to it, enjoy! And may you solve your problems wisely, Bokuto-kun" Harusato bowed. 

I slightly bowed back. 

After a few minutes enjoying my food, I heard the doorbell ring. 

"Welcome Iwaizumi-kun!"

"Hello, Harusato-san"

Stella placed a hand on my shoulder. 

"Hi Lily-chan"

I looked up, chewing a big portion of a cookie, with the rest of it in my hand "hwaiii"

Stella giggled "Dang, the cute owl cat caught in the act" She patted my head

I swallowed and growled. 

Stella sat down, her hair swinging side to side as she did this.

I stared at her for a few seconds. “Now, tell me what kind of drugs are you into now?”

“Drugs? Me? Wouldn’t it be you for reacting like that?” She rested her chin on her hands and giggled.

I stayed silent, glaring at her as if I was going to tackle her to the ground. She quit after she noticed how unamused I was.

Stella ordered coffee and explained what happened. Her eyes were glistening with every detail of her experience with Eita.

I could not help but smile as she paused for a second and I noticed how red she was. Yet, I was not going to let her notice that ray of empathy that irradiated from me.

She was looking out of the window—possibly out of this dimension. 

I moved in her field of vision until those entranced eyes noticed my figure.

“Sooo—” I said casually.

"Bokuto-chan, I find Bokuto Eita-chan cuter than Yamagata now" Her faced flushed as she sipped hard from her coffee. 

My jaw dropped slightly. 

_‘She said Bokuto-chan. Stella only calls me like that when things are very serious.’_ I thought. This was serious; illogical for me but serious.

I took a deep breath "You can like whoever you want, it has nothing to do with what I think, as longs as you're okay with it I'm okay with it" I smiled at her. She looked relieved now. 

"But don't expect me to help you at all with this, I hate him," I said pridefully. 

She raised an eyebrow and talked sublimely "You don't even know him Sayuri-chan, and you don't have to hold a grudge that you don't even feel so strongly about just for pride." 

I growled lowly as I stuffed my mouth with cookies and looked away from her. 

"Why are you so stubborn? You know that's the truth but you deny to admit it, Sayuri-chan, you're smarter than this.” Stella said concerned. 

I smiled and finished my food as collectedly as I could. No, I was not going to reply to that.

After I finished my food I stood up gently and looked at Stella.

“Thanks for caring then,” I bowed until I could see the floor. “See you later.” 

I smiled at her and made my way outside.

_‘Smarter than this? Ha, I feel like being stupid right now.’_

As I got home I tried to collect the last bits of patience I had within me to address my parents.

“おかえり (Okaeri/Welcome back) my beautiful Sayuri!” Kōtaro embraced me as I entered the house.

“Hello dad” I hugged him back.

“Any plans for tonight?” Tetsurō asked from the couch in the living room.

I had to hide the devilish grin forming on my lips. Oh, what idea has come to my mind!

“Actually…a friend of mine is planning a little gathering at her house later tonight.”

“Nice! You can go if you want babe, have fun.” Tetsurō said and Kōtaro smiled at me on approval.

“Great! Thank you!”

I walked into my room and locked the door. A worrisome laugh took control of my throat.

I was mad, yes, but the difference was that in that moment I really wanted to lose control.

I texted  党竜ちゃん* (Toryu-chan)  to have some fun that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Toryu means 'Party Dragon' IT'S LIT


	8. Never Gave a Fuck, and I probably never will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a Spotify playlist with all the tracks for the fanfic so far (to make it easier for you guys)  
> Here's the link: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc
> 
> As always enjoy!
> 
> ps. things get spicy from here on

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 18:13:45────────────**

 

**Bokuto Sayuri (18:14):** _Hi Toryu-chan, any plans for tonight?_

 

**Toryu Gao (18:14):** _Hellooo Bokuto-chan!! We are going to Tokyo! Want to come?_

 

This was perfect.

 

**Bokuto Sayuri (18:14):** _Sure, what time?_

 

**Toryu Gao (18:14):** _Nice! We will be leaving on train at 20:15. See you there!_

 

I locked my phone and left it on my bed. I opened my closet and looked for the tightest, coolest outfit. 

 

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 18:49:40────────────**

 

In the end, I chose to wear a tight black dress and knee high socks with neon paint splatter pattern and high black heels. I curled my hair and applied golden eyeshadow and mascara. I could not really go out like this so I changed my heels for tennis shoes and packed them in my beige backpack. Putting a trench coat on, I covered my outfit.

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 19:10:30────────────**

 

I walked out of my room. My parents were sitting on the couch watching TV.

 

“Going out already?” Tetsurō asked

 

“In a few” I replied

 

“I made dinner if you want some before going out.”

 

I smiled “Thank you, dad, I will eat now.”

 

There was covered plate beside the stove. I opened to find omu rice with ‘ 愛してます !’ (aishitemasu!/love you!) written with ketchup on top.

 

They care so much about me. It is not fair for me to be lying to them. 

 

_‘This is delicious’_ I thought _‘Perfect before a bitter night.’_

 

I washed every dirty dish I found in the kitchen and returned to the living room.

 

“I will be leaving now”

 

“At what time are you coming back?” Kōtaro asked

 

My heart skipped a bit but I could not afford to let my parents notice this.

 

“At midnight”

 

“Sheesh! too late, you can stay at your friend’s…” Tetsurō paused

 

“Toryu-chan”

 

“…Toryu-kun if you can, let us know if you need us to pick you up” Tetsurō smiled

 

“Thank you”

 

I walked out of the house.

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 19:35:10────────────**

 

_** *Play False Alarm by The Weeknd* ** _

 

The cold winds of autumn fit my mood somehow, for I am to do something bad and all sympathy has left me. The dark streets only lit by lamps guide me through the 15-minute walk to the train station. 

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 19:50:36────────────**

 

I arrive at the train station and meet my mischievous group for the night. They were five. Toryu-chan and four of her closest friends.

 

“Konbawa Bokuto-chan!!” Toryu exclaimed. She had a short, pink wig and red lipstick on.

 

“Konbawa”

 

She pressed a piece of paper against my chest.

 

“Already bought your ticket” She giggled.

 

Toryu spinned on one foot. She was losing her balance so she held my shoulders. Toryu was drunk.

 

“There is no turning back now!” She grinned loudly.

 

_‘Indeed’_ I thought as I put away my train ticket in my pocket.

 

“Oi, Sayuri” one of the guys from the group said. He was holding a flask in his left hand.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Want some?” he giggled and approached me, the flask near my face.

 

_‘I would be alright if I drink a bit but I do not think is wise to drink before taking the train’_ I thought 

 

“Later, at the party” I smiled at him.

 

“Ooooh, I will get you Sayuriii” he laughed and retreated back with the others.

 

I stood there for a second, looking at this lost youth and wondered what was that really brought me here. Maybe it was the need to lose control, maybe it was the need to forget about Eita, maybe it was because I needed to do something stupid to see if Stella really cared about my well-being. 

 

I am messed up.

 

_‘Whatever’_

 

“Guys, we should head to the platform now” I advised.

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 22:35:16────────────**

 

I spent the first 20 minutes of the 2 hours and 30 minutes ride just looking out the train window.

 

Toryu-chan met a group of guys who had a private cabin loaded with alcohol on the train. We followed them.

 

I might have taken two shots of vodka and danced for an hour. After that, I just sat and saw everyone making out.

 

When the train was arriving at Tokyo, I stuck to the window and watched the city and all its lights.

 

_ ‘This is the city where both of your parents were born and raised’ _

_ ‘This is the city where your father Kōtaro cheated on Tetsurō’ _

_ ‘This is the city where you will lose control’ _

 

We hopped off the train. There was a limousine outside the station waiting for us.

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 22:50:39────────────**

 

We arrived at the nightclub. There was a huge line to get in.

 

Toryu-chan seemed to notice the fear on my face.

 

“Don’t worry, Sayuri-chan!! Come!”

 

She grabbed my arm and dragged me to walk behind the guys from the train. Apparently, we were VIPs since we cut the line and some security guards guided us to the upper level of the club.

 

One of the guys from the train had a handful of golden strips. He approached to put one on everyone's wrists. They were bracelets.

 

“This bracelet will get you unlimited drinks and access to the DJ area, baby!” he said cheerfully while he put a bracelet on my wrist.

 

“Nice” I smiled.

 

“What’s your name?” He asked.

 

“Bokuto Sayuri”

 

“Sayuri-kun! so beautiful” He stroked my hair.

 

“What’s your name?” I asked

 

“Enshin Ryuki” He smiled. ( 宴紳 [Enshin] means ‘Party Gentleman’)

 

“ よろしくお願いします ”  (yoroshikuonegaishimasu —In this case, I translate it to ‘please treat me well’ oya oya) I stared into his eyes.

 

“ こちらこそ ”  (kochirakoso—In this case I translate it to ‘my pleasure’ oya oya) He bowed to kiss my hand without breaking eye contact. I could feel his smile on the back of my hand.

 

“Want to get a drink?” He asked, still holding my hand.

 

“Sure” I gripped his hand tightly as we began to walk downstairs, through the crowd, towards the bar.

 

This handsome guy with his hair slicked back is the company I needed that night and along the purple, electric blue and blacklights of the nightclub. They made all the doubts of my decisions melt away. No guilt, nothing holding me back in that moment, I took my coat off and left it on our lounge, throwing myself into the party.

 

**_ *stop music* _ **

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 23:25:50────────────**

 

_** *play Love On The Brain by Rihanna (Don Diablo) Remix* ** _

 

Drink, talk with Enshin-san, then dance, drink, then dance, drink some water, talk with Enshin-san, go to the bathroom, then dance. That was basically my first half hour at the party.

 

“Sayuri-chan!!!” Toryu shouted from afar.

 

I turned to face Enshin.

 

“Let’s go where Toryu-chan is!” I grabbed his hand and lead the way.

 

She was making out with a guy and then went down in the pole she was in front of. She noticed me.

 

“Let’s dance Sayuri-chan!!”

 

I felt my cheeks blushing.

 

“Uh…I don’t know how to dance like that” I muttered

 

I felt someone’s hot breath on my cheek.

 

“Let me teach you”

 

I realized it was Enshin’s voice. He grabbed my waist with one hand and pulled me against him.

 

“Just move your hips in circles, follow the rhythm of my hand.”

 

His hand pushed my hip a bit, guiding me on how to move.

 

“Yeah, like that, now grab the pole with both hands and arch your back a little.”

 

He whispered in my ear and gently bit my earlobe.

 

_‘Eek’_

 

“Like this, Sayuri-chan!” Toryu bent down as she was dancing with the guy she was making out earlier. 

 

She came up again and, with her legs, she grasped the pole and started spinning. I had to back away in order to not get hit. She arched so far back that her face was upside down just enough to reach the guy’s lips.

They started making out violently; he yanked Toryu-chan’s hair and made her fall from the pole. Then, he took her by the neck and pulled her up to kiss her. She enveloped her legs around him and they both started moving away. 

 

That night, I never saw Toryu again.

 

It wasn’t but after this scene that I noticed Enshin-san’s breath on my neck and hands clawed on my waist.

 

“Oi, are we going to dance?” He asked, swiftly kissing my neck.

 

“Sure!”

 

He got closer and moved my hips a little. Soon I started moving on my own, circling my hips and grinding against him with deep moves.

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 23:40:05────────────**

 

After a while dancing, I loosened up and moved in ways I did not know I could. No, it was not only grinding, we also jumped to the beat of electro music and laughed a ton at people who were wasted and doing stupid stuff.

 

“Let’s grab a drink!” He smiled and took me by the waist as I nodded.

 

At the bar, he made a weird signal to the bartender. He instantly prepared two shots and gave us two lemon slices and some salt.

 

We took the shots.

 

A spicy then sweet cinnamon flavor invaded my mouth.

 

“Aaaj, what is this?” I puffed after downing the shot.

 

“Jäggerbomb” He grinned as he took a slice and poured salt on it. “For a Sayuribomb” He raised my chin and squeezed a bit of lemon juice down my neck to lick it. 

 

My heart skipped a beat.

 

He held the lemon in front of my mouth and I went straight for it. After I sucked it, I threw it away and without thinking things twice, I kissed him.

 

**────────────Friday, September 16, 20XX. 23:53:34────────────**

 

I do not know who devoured who but I enjoyed every second of it.  We have been all over the place making out.

 

Now, we were sitting at the lounge our group had. I caught Toryu-chan’s friends shocked gazes a few times as I went down leaving hickeys on Enshin-san’s neck. I decided to get on top of him in order to turn my back on them.  He grabbed the back of my neck and locked our lips together while his other hand groped my ass. Enshin-san was so hard that drunk-numb me could feel it.

 

“Let’s go elsewhere” He whispered in my ear.

 

I nod and we stood up to make our way to the exit.

 

We were approaching the limo when his phone rang.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Sorry, I have to take it, important call. Go get in the limo, it’s all for us.” He kissed me and took the call.

 

“Italy? Man, I would love to go, can I take the babe I met tonight? She is really something…no dude, she is not a whore but the cutest, brilliant girl in Ja-“ I giggled, hearing Enshi-san talk over the phone as I walked away.

 

That was the last I heard him say before I shut the door.

 

I heard the lock click.

 

“I told you I will get you” someone whispered in my ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god that cliffhanger at the end!
> 
> I would love to hear your predictions guys, comment below!


	9. Brass Knuckles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter might be triggering to survivors...proceed with caution.
> 
> Let's just say that this chapter is INTENSE
> 
> Nevertheless, enjoy

I screamed but the person covered my mouth and dragged me to the car floor. They were on top of me. I grabbed their neck and choked them. 

Because of a dim light, I recognized the guy who offered me the flask. 

 

_‘The pervert was staring too much. Oh Who would have thought he tried to pull up this shit.’_ I thought. 

 

I was able to overthrow him. On top of him, it was easier to apply pressure to his neck, plus I seized the opportunity to bang his head against the floor. Just as I was able to weaken him and take the remote control to open the doors, two arms pinned me to the floor. The fucking guy I should have left unconscious stood up. The other two, one by each arm, laughed.

 

“You were tough with me back there” He crawled over me while I was trying to escape their grasp. “Don’t think I will be gentle”

 

He slapped me and disturbed my mouth with his and disrupted my body with his hands.

 

I tried everything: violently get up, hitting him with my knees, biting, spitting, screaming, throw off the grasp of the other two, even banging my own head against his.

 

I was helpless when he started taking off my clothes. I never stopped wrestling even after they blindfolded me, I wanted to kill the guy. My rage only grew at each punch, cuff, slap, pinch, kiss, lick, smooch, and disgusting comment he made.

 

I screamed violently for help when he ripped off my panties and pulled his pants down. I wrestled as hard as I could to stop him going any further.

 

Then I heard a crunch. _Was this supposed to sound like this?_

 

Another crunch. _No, this is something else._

 

Cries. crunch. thud. _Are they fighting?_

crunch. crunch. crunch. _No one was holding me now._

 

crunch. sigh. thud. bang. 

 

I heard crunches for what felt like an eternity.

 

I felt something wet my feet. I sat up.

I heard metal clatter. Someone took the blindfold off.

Blood. Their bodies were there.

The stranger gave me a sweater and a pair of jeans.

 

“Thank you”

 

The silhouette nod.

 

I put the clothes on and they hugged me.

 

“I am sorry, if I have arrived earlier I wou—“

 

I slapped him. I knew his voice.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Eita-kun?”

 

“Taking care of you”

 

“H-how did you know I was here?” I panicked.

 

He grabbed my hand and stared at my eyes. “Sayuri-chan, we have to leave, I will explain everything on the way back.”

 

I sighed and nod. Even if I despised him I trusted him then.

 

He reached for something on the floor, opened the door and held my hand as we walked out.

 

He had brass knuckles on.

 

* * *

 

Do you believe some situations weaken you?

 

00:48 was the time his car had. He reached into the backseat and placed my trench coat and backpack on my lap.

 

“I thought you wouldn’t want to lose these” He smiled

 

“Thanks”

 

A few moments of silence. I spoke again when we took the road.

 

“Tell me why you are here” I demanded coldly

 

“Uyy, you won’t change your tone even if I saved you back there, would you nee-chan?”

 

I rolled my eyes. He grinned and sighed.

 

Then he spoke with a tone that was not quite of him. Cold, severe, analytical. That was not the guy I treated as a fool because of his sweet, loving tone that just awakens disgust within me. Eita’s tone in that moment triggered respect from me.

 

“I was at home watching movies when my phone started chiming because of stupid notifications. I got distracted and started checking social media. I watched Toryu-chan's stories on hajiku* and saw you there. After that, the chain began; I checked every profile in all social media: Toryu’s, the other girls, yours”

 

_ *let's treat hajiku as snapchat or something. _

 

He paused.

 

“And the ones of those three guys” He gulped and grasped the steering wheel tighter. “I knew there was something off when I read their posts”

 

“I don’t know why the fuck someone would write so much shit when they are drunk and probably stoned.”

 

“ _Why is she staring at the window when she should be acting like a bitch and begging to ride me - gotta grab that ass - she’s been avoiding me for the past hour, is she really going to make me take her by force?_ - _I hope she puts up a show like Toryu did on the pole_ \- _fucking whore turning her back on me because she is too busy fucking a stranger._

 

with a picture of you, on top of a guy, kissing him.” Eita explained the content of their posts.

 

I was breathing heavy, clenching my teeth while hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I wanted to rip them apart but I could just settle with my nails clawed in the palms of my hands.

 

I tried talking but instead I was growling. “I-i should have killed them” I hit Eita’s chest “Youuu should have killed them!”

 

I wanted to scream because of the rage reigning my body. The things they said, what they did to me were so humiliating. I wanted them to suffer all types of pain. I have always been prompt to get mad, but that event left the mark of resentment in my soul. In that moment, I felt like a beast had awakened within me and wanted to run loose.

 

He grunted and the beast halted its thoughts of madness.

 

“I hope those cowards don’t survive the beating I gave them. You are fine Sayuri, please be faithful that karma would stomp on their lives and let the world give them sound punishment. I feel even more rage than you do. Hell, I did not lift my foot from the accelerator for 15 minutes straight because I desperately wanted to get to you, Sayuri” Eita grunted “Two hours and a half of torture. I had no way of knowing if you were fine and it was driving me crazy. I couldn’t st—”

 

I winced and groaned. Between all my wrath, I have forgotten how much my wounds hurt.

 

3 minutes after, we stopped at a gas station. Eita quickly went to the convenience store and came back almost instantly with bandages, patches, alcohol, cotton balls and painkillers.

 

I smiled while he was swaddling me in bandages.

 

‘ _This boy is truly engrossed in fixing me_ ’ I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suffered writing this chapter, really emotional for me. (And revising it was as painful)  
> BUT EITA IS BEST BOY!
> 
> What are your thoughts?


	10. Truce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the last chapter, Bokuto Eita saved his half-sister Sayuri from rape. How will this affect their relationship?
> 
> This chapter has music in it! here's the link to the soundtrack: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=ouKJ7wkuR0a55lxl1LetmA
> 
> As always, enjoy!

As the road went on, I calmed down. We were silent for a few minutes.

 

He turned to look at me.

 

“I am glad those notifications distracted me.”

 

I nodded.

 

“Sayuri-chan, about the guy you were with tonight…”

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t you think he guided you into the trap?”

 

**_ *play Judas by Banks on the back starting at 1:46* _ **

 

I gulped and stared blankly at the road.

 

_‘No, I mean, he was talking about taking me to Italy, and he did not get into the limo because he got a phone call. That couldn’t be planned. but…did he know those 3 dickheads were waiting for me inside the limo?’_

 

“T-that can’t be…”

 

He sighed. 

 

“Sayuri, tell me what happened.”

 

I did. 

 

“…but now that you mention it, yeah, it is kind of weird that he did not go to the limo because I mean…” I shivered “…I was there a really long time.”

 

“Do you think he had something to do with all of this?”

 

“Do you have any proof?”

 

“No…" Eita scoffed "wait, Sayuri, are you defending him?”

 

“I am not but you can’t accuse him if you don’t have any proof.”

 

“Sayuri, I am pretty sure he tricked you into getting in the limo. I mean, if he really was on the phone and afterward you were going to do something, he must have at least lasted five minutes and then go to the limo. He never ca—“

 

“Eita enough!” I shouted.

 

“Sayuri, I am just trying to figure this out.”

 

“Stop,” I said with a lump in my throat.

 

**_ *stop music* _ **

 

He went silent and turned the radio up a bit. I curled into a ball on my seat and wept silently. My heart softened. Eita saved me. If it was not for him I would have ended way worse. I hate myself for being so rude to him when he was willing to come all the way down here; just because he had a feeling that I was in danger. Instead, I should have thanked him for saving me from my stupid, reckless acts that night.

 

Two hours have passed and we both minded our own thoughts.

 

“Oi, Sayuri-chan”

 

“Mn?”

 

“What’s your favorite color?”

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“Answer me” He giggled

 

“Are you seriously trying to make small talk? With me? With such a cliché question?” I laughed mockingly “Now ain’t you weird”

 

“Hey! at least I made you laugh!” He said, accomplished.

 

I rolled my eyes and my mouth involuntarily formed a smirk.

 

_‘He got me’_

 

“ 黄 (yellow)”

 

“Huh?”

 

“ 黄色い *” I specified, annoyed.

 

He shrilled.

 

“What the fuck?” I hit his shoulder. “Are you retarded or something?”

 

* 黄色い ( きいろい or kiiroi) means yellow but it could also mean high-pitched voice or shrill (phonetically)…so yeah, Eita bothers Sayuri with its other meaning.

 

Eita laughed. He looks so jovial with the headlights of the road lighting up his face, making his white hair gleam and our father’s eyes resemble a sunset on a valley in the summer.

 

The dork features made me forget that it is almost 3 AM in the middle of a dark, chilly road in September.

 

Is this what captivated Stella? Is this how Tendō looks at me?

 

_‘Oh no…Tendō’_

 

I curled into a ball again and shivered. Eita noticed and took his eyes out of the road for a second. He found a dark mass of hair surrounded by two shivering tentacles of grey fabric instead of a fiercer version of his eyes and a strong hand about to smack him.

 

“w-what have i d-oone?” I whispered, trying to silence my yelps.

 

He patted my head.

 

“I am sorry”

 

I raised my head, making him put his hand away. The AC made my eyes, filled with salty tears, itch.

 

I snuffed “What?” I asked in a confused tone.

 

“I know that me approaching Stella triggered you to do this and I am sorry. I know that you do not want me near you but I could not help talking to her, she is adorable. I am sorry that even though I knew it would piss you off I did it anyway.”

 

He sighed and gripped the steering wheel tighter. His eyes were full of guilt.

 

“Eita”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I hate you”

 

“Why?”

 

“You know why.”

 

He squinted his eyes, hurting. I could sense that he felt like a failure. I squeezed his cheeks with my right hand; my left arm hurt too much to move it.

 

“That and because you try so hard to fix shit you damaged in the first place, playing as some kind of last moment savior.”

 

“I thought you were grateful”

 

“OH!” I let go his cheeks, throwing my hand in the air.  “So is that what all of this is about?”

 

He groaned. “No! I am just confused by your behavior right now” Eita said, exasperated. “jeez, It is like something gets into you”

 

I crossed my arms and puffed, blowing a lock of my hair upwards. I turned my head and looked out the window, seeing my reflection faintly. My face was a bit swollen, the right cheek patched up and a band-aid below my left eye. I could also see the bandages that covered my neck. It ached a little to see my state at the moment.

 

_‘pfft, as if I had a pretty face, to begin with,’_ I thought, trying to lie to myself.

 

Those were the kinds of things I would say and Tendō would hug me, arguing with me about how beautiful and good I am until I got tired, admitting that he is right only to make him stop. The things he said were always too good, too sweet that I could never think they described me. I am a bad, reckless brat who acts selfishly and, most of the time, I let it be that way instead of getting a grip on myself. I should have acted in a way that would please me.

 

I groaned, hitting my forehead with the palm of my hand. I just get so frustrated about myself sometimes.

 

“Oi, oi, oi what’s up with you now?” Eita asked alarmed, he checked on me with the corner of his widened eyes.

 

I clutched his hair and pulled it.

 

“Oi, what the fuck?? ugh Sayuriiiii  てめええええ (temeeeee)”

 

I giggled and poked his cheek.

 

“Oh so you are in a good mood now,” He said relieved.

 

I growled and the poking turned into pinching.

 

“ いたい！いたいー！放す、小百合ーちゃん！！！ (itai! itai! hanase, Sayuri-chan!!!/ ow! ow! let go, Sayuri-chan!!!)” Eita said in pain. He could not do anything to stop since he was driving and probably did not want to hurt me.

* * *

 

The last hour on the road went by as I teased Eita.

 

Eventually, I got tired and ceased my attacks, focusing on the last minutes of highway we had left.

 

“Sayuri”

 

“Mnh?”

 

“Since your wounds are pretty bad tonight, it would not be wise to drop you off at your house not to mention that it is almost 5 AM. So it is better if you rest at my house for a couple hours”

 

I nod. 

 

“Wow, you are actually smart, idiot-kun” I smirked at him.

 

“Well, what can I say? Out of the two of us, one has to be smart” He smirked back at me.

 

I rolled my eyes. “ 十分な、英。 (jiuubun, hanabusa/ enough, hero.)” 

 

* 英 (hanabusa), as Sayuri pronounced, could also be read as ‘ei’ which is the first kanji for Eita, as named by Furudate. How convenient!

 

* * *

 

At 04:48 AM, Eita parked in the driveway. His house was similar to mine, hell, basically like any suburb in Japan: two stories high, with a garage and driveway; a brown ceramic, uneven roof, and trees growing from every corner.

 

He hopped off the car and walked over to open the door for me. The sunrise light helped me see him clearly now. He was dressed in black from head to toe but I could see some blood stains on his clothes. 

 

Eita took my backpack and trench coat, offering me his right hand which had the brass knuckles marks. I took it and got off the car. He covered my shoulders with the trench coat and guided me to the front door.

 

When I bent down to take off my heels, I started to feel dizzy.

 

I tried to keep it cool and follow Eita to the living room. However, the dizziness got worse by the second. I have not realized how much I have drunk until now.

 

Eita turned to see me, noticing my lost eyes.

 

“Sayuri, are you ok?” He quickly grasped my right arm.

 

I gulped and squint my eyes. “Not really” I laughed, faintly.

 

He held my chin, his sunrise eyes staring at my sunset eyes, surrounded by the dark clouds of mascara.

 

“You need to eat something” Eita dragged me to the kitchen, my legs stumbling.


	11. The Garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY!  
> this update is a little late (i am out of city visiting my fam and hw is a bit out of control this weekend)
> 
> Anyway, here it is. Enjoy!

Eita sat me in a tall chair in front of the kitchen inner, marble table, hurrying to serve me a glass of water.

 

He placed the cup in front of me. His alarmed eyes looked into mine. “Drink this,” He said, in a bit too authoritarian tone.

 

I took a sip and coughed. My throat was dry. I looked over to my right and saw Eita taking a few things out of the big, silver fridge. My gaze focused on the light and the vivid colors of some packages of food inside of it. I started to feel nauseous which is why I decided to contemplate the fridge and not move my head again. 

 

I was about to close my eyes when Eita abruptly touched my head and asked if I was alright.

 

I cleared my throat. “Yeah” I moved my head slowly towards the center of the table.

 

He placed a plate with a sandwich in front of me “Eat this”

 

“Mn” I take a bite off the sandwich. Slowly chewing it; my mouth felt numb. “Dishh ish guuud” I mumbled in a drunken slur.

 

Eita stood up and started cleaning the kitchen.

 

I honestly did not have any appetite at the moment, chewing slowly but wanting to finish quickly. I examined the sandwich as if I was going to take another bite. I stared at the oozing cheese, my entire field of vision flowing and fading with it. I felt all strength in my body leaving, succumbing to gravity. Something warm against my cheek and the smell of cheese.

 

 

* * *

“Sleep well Sayuri”

I felt a warm hand caressing my head which made a bit of adrenaline pump through my system.

 

Raising my head and opening my eyes wide to just close them again, I noticed a vague silhouette. I let my head fall again into a soft pillow. I was going to start questioning where I was, but my exhausted body surrounded by coziness just knocked my senses out.

 

I accommodated myself in the-probably-a-futon and yawned. "You will never have my love, Eita-kun" I mumbled just before falling asleep.

 

* * *

My pitch black dream became an orange one. The sun was hitting my eyelids too hard.

 

I felt something heavy on my side. I turned my head to my right and slowly opened my eyes to find the silver-headed dork with his arm around my waist. 

 

I half-gasped and smacked his cheek.

 

Eita shook awake. “Oiii”

 

I pushed him away “What are you doing here?” I shrieked.

 

He brushed his hair with his fingers, partly fixing his bed hair. “I mean…it is my bed” He giggled, caressing the cheek I hit.

 

Eita was shirtless, and I noticed I was in pajamas. 

I pouted and breathed heavily, pushing him out of the bed and smacking his back repeatedly. “Fucking freak! Did you undress me? What the fuck is wrong with you? That is not how you treat a lady!! And on top of that, sleeping in the same bed as me?? SHIRTLESS??” I reached for his hair to pull it.

 

“Owowowowowow, I am sorry Sayuri, please let me go” He begged.

 

After a while I did. He stood up and told me to wait there. In front of me, there was a thick, sliding door. He opened it, revealing his closet. While he was at it, I decided to examine the room. The window to my left was covered by a screen, making the whole room glow orange in the light. There were a few boxes on the floor below the window. Behind me, there was a sofa, a TV, and bookshelves that raised mid wall. 

 

“Sayuri”

 

I turned to my left. Eita was kneeling before me, bowing his head and handing me folded clothes.

 

“I am sorry if I scared you or made you mad, but here are some clothes for you.”

 

I sighed “ 僕は弟を許します ” (Boku wa otōtō wo yurushimasu/I forgive you, little brother) I giggled, patting his head.

 

Eita raised his head and pouted “You sure don’t miss any opportunity to put me down, do you?”

 

I giggled, taking the clothes from his hands. “No no” I stood up so did he.

 

“If you want to take a shower, the bathroom is behind that door.” He said pointing at a door behind me while putting on a white shirt. “I think lunch is ready downstairs so go there after you are done.”

 

“Ok, thanks” 

He nod and slid the door to the right, leaving the room. I got in the bathroom.

* * *

*play [https://youtu.be/FpqivQ6P0s4](https://youtu.be/FpqivQ6P0s4) starting 20:00*

 

The steam covered the mirror and other reflective objects in the bathroom. Eita gave me green cargo pants, a black t-shirt with ‘ 気にしない ’ (kinishinai/ don’t mind) written in white letters, and black socks.

 

_'Don't mind'_ I scoff _'Well thank you. I'll try, Eita'_

 

I looked up at the clock on the wall indicating that it was noon as I put on my bandages.

 

I went back to Eita’s room, finding a black sweater folded in the armrest of the sofa. I put it on and went out the room through the door to the right. In front of me, there was another door. I guessed it was that Akaashi man’s room and turned right to the stairs. I found myself in the narrow hall we walked through last night. I knew the kitchen was passing the third door to the right but I decided to avoid it at the moment.

 

Instead, I opened the first door to the right. It was a nice living room, with three white sofas and a huge ceramic jar on a side table near the entrance which I tripped on, almost letting it fall. When the jar became steady once again, I took a deep breath, walking to the center of the room. There was a TV and another sliding door to my left. I could hear Eita talking and the faint sound of plates clattering. Besides the door, there was a magnificent folding screen with patterns of blue flowers and red birds. It was a really beautiful living room, but what caught my attention the most was the glass sliding door in front of me. It was not made of single piece of glass, but regular sized square windows in dark wooden frames. On the other side of this door, there was a garden. From the living room, I could spot a cherry blossom tree that was blooming! Apparently, it was the Autumnalis variety to be blooming in early September. Though there was another one with its leaves writhing away. There sure were flashy, having two cherry trees that bloomed in spring and autumn.

 

This sight made me smile and hurry to the door, putting on some tennis shoes before going out. The chilly breeze caressed my bruised face as if it was applying ointment to it. I looked beneath the cherry tree; there was a little stone village standing on top of a rock which was surrounded by water. There were a few lotus buds and pads. I kneeled to examine it closely. The roofs had a bit of mold as well as the rock the village sat upon. I thought it looked like sacred placed inhabited by spirits! I looked to my left and saw that the water connected through a narrow track, with a tiny bridge built across a portion of it, to a formidable fountain. I think I gasped and move as quickly as I could, kneeling and taking side steps. I raised my head to look at the top of the fountain. The water was flowing mildly downwards, retracing all the stone carvings of lotus flowers in the shaft. My eyes continued their way down to find another stone village, larger than the last one. The buildings in that one were bigger and more defined plus they sat upon a white, big, squared porcelain structure with dragons carved in its four edges. It looked like the structure filters the water that comes down the fountain and disposed of it through the dragons’ mouths, ending down in a large pond, full of blooming lotus flowers. And, for me, just the right amount of pads and buds to make it look evergreen and prosperous.

 

I got somewhat interrupted in my moment of awe as I felt someone placing their hand on my right shoulder.

 

*stop the music*

 

“ 湶は感激の湶か？ *” (izumi wa kangeki no izumi ka?/ Is the fountain a source of inspiration?)

 

I turned my head and looked up. It was that Akaashi man. 

 

“Yes, your garden is beautiful,” I said respectfully but grimly.

 

I slowly stood up and found myself standing some inches lower than him. Akaashi has the same hairstyle as Eita, however, his locks are dark brown and fall softly on his olive skin. His face is naturally stern, enhanced by his metal, blue eyes and pointy features.

 

“Thank you” He smiled slightly. “Are you feeling better? Eita told me what happened; I am sorry to hear what you have been through.” Akaashi slightly bowed.

 

I, quickly, bowed back. “ 僕はより良いです、気遣ってくれてありがとうです ” （boku wa yoriyoidesu, kidukattekurete arigatōdesu/  I am better, thank you for your concern ）

 

“ まあ！僕？ *  君が珍しい花ですよ！ ” (maa! boku? kimi ga mezurashī hana desuyo!/ oh! boku? you are a rare flower!)

 

I forced a smile, my teeth clenching behind my lips.

 

“Now, now” Akaashi placed himself beside me and grabbed my shoulder. “come eat, you must be hungry.”

 

Sometimes, when I get annoyed, my voice is either earsplitting or almost silent. This time, it was almost silent. Maybe my vocal cords were exhausted because of last night’s screams for help. I had to nod for Akaashi to understand me.

 

As we walked back to the house, my eyes met with Eita’s. His amber eyes showed panic but a bit of relief. I raised an eyebrow. Our eye contact conversation went a little like this:

 

_“Are you nervous I explode and fight with him?”_

 

_“DUH”_

 

_“Idiot, I have self-control~~~”_

 

_“uh-huh sure you do”_

 

I pouted and rolled my eyes.

 

_“Just please, keep it this way”_

 

*Idk if you noticed but  湶 repeats twice in the sentence.  湶 (which can be pronounced as izumi) means ‘Fountain’ but can also mean ‘Source’ so yeah a bit of Japanese word game!

 

*so ye this is just me trying to lengthen the convo and have a little practice writing sentences in Japanese but, as I think you know the term “ 私 ” (watashi) is more feminine (and also gender neutral) while “ 僕 ” (boku) is more masculine. Little boys and male teenagers use it in informal speech. Though now in modern Japan is becoming more common for teenage girls to use masculine terms, Akaashi finds it peculiar for a girl to use these terms (headcanon). Plus Sayuri uses this informal term combined with  です (desu, formal term) with this Akaashi man she doesn’t exactly feels friendly with. I am also trying to show you guys her feelings towards Akaashi: she is not comfortable talking to him (I was actually trying to avoid writing this convo bc it’s really awkward for them to interact) so she emphasizes ‘boku’ as a sign that she doesn't really respect him/is a bit cocky and pronounces ‘desu’ shyly as if she respects him a lot and holds him superior; **really passive aggressive** of her. However, Akaashi is sly and takes advantage of her speech to compliment her #killthemwithkindness

 

* * *

Akaashi and I have reached the sliding door that connects the dining room to the garden. I took off the tennis shoes and so did Akaashi with his shoes. He took my hand and helped me take a seat on the kotatsu.

 

“Thank you Akaashi-san, you shouldn’t bother yourself though” I looked up to him once I have seated.

 

“Don’t mind. Now please…” He sat on his spot and extended the palm of his hand over the table. “…help yourself”

 

I scanned the table, my eyes lighted up by the sight. There was rice, a tureen with miso soup, nimono vegetables, stir-fried pork with bean sprouts and a teapot full of hot, green tea.

 

Akaashi grinned at my reaction. “ いただきます (itadakimasu)” He said.

 

“ いただきます(itadakimasu) ” Eita and I replied.

 

I took my bowl and filled it with rice. 

 

“Eat some of this, Sayuri” Eita handed me a bowl of miso soup and then handed another one to Akaashi.

 

“Could you please serve the tea, Bokuto-kun?” Akaashi asked me.

 

“Sure thing” I replied.

 

We helped each other get each food on our plates in a polite yet, at least for me, awkward way. We were in the middle of eating when Akaashi started a conversation.

 

“Eita, I noticed you called Bokuto-kun by her first name earlier. oh ！ I didn’t know you have become that close!” Akaashi smiled widely, clapping his hands together.

 

_‘Unlike Akaashi, my father Tetsurō does not expresses to be so excited about me getting along with my half-brother. Maybe he wants to get closer to Kōtaro? Tch…that does not sound pleasant to me.’_ I thought, analyzing what he said.

 

I finished swallowing a piece of pork. “We call each other by our first names since we don’t like calling each other by the same name, Akaashi-san,” I said in the most sincerely cheerful voice I could pull off. I looked over to Eita who was by my right. “Am I right, Eita?” I smiled, but my eyes warned him to be careful about his reply.

 

“Y-yeah” He faced his father, hands grabbing his own knees. “You see,  父さん

(otōsan/ father) it is kind of awkward to be called the same name when we are…um..awkwardly related.” Eita gulped.

 

“Awkwardly related?” Akashi asked “But you are siblings!” He laughed loudly.

 

I opened my eyes in surprise. Was he crazy? Didn’t he realize this is a delicate situation? Didn’t he realize he was the one that caused all this trouble?

 

I decided to keep eating instead of having an outburst. I could feel Eita’s surprised gaze over me. 

 

“Sure  父さん , but it is not that simple or well regarded for some.” Eita told his father, scraping his head.

 

“Some? Do you mean former Kuroo-san and Bokuto-kun?” Akaashi looked at me. “You see, son, Bokuto-kun is the troublesome child but you are the agreeable child.”

 

I almost choke on a piece of meat. My eyes met Eita’s and they both screamed _‘What the fuck?’_

 

“ 父さん (otō-san/ father) you—“ Eita was interrupted by Akaashi.

 

“Bokuto-kun in his womb made Kuroo-san unbearable which is why Bokuto-san flee to Tokyo, and we honestly can’t blame him!” Akaashi giggled. “On the other hand, it was my company that brought Bokuto-san peace. Son, you are the child of love.” He grabbed Eita’s hands from across the table and smiled widely.

 

I didn’t even want to fight at that point. I was finishing the bowl of rice to stand up and leave, but Eita got ahead of me.

 

He pulled his hands away from his father’s and stood up abruptly. “ 父さん , what you said just now was really disrespectful to our guest. What got into you? Where are your manners?” Eita looked at me for a few seconds and then took my hand. “Stand up, Sayuri, it is time to go home.” He pulled me out of the dining room.

 

“Are you going to check up on the truth yourself, son?” I could hear Akaashi from the hall.

 

Eita looked furious as he put his shoes on and opened the front door. He helped me get in the car and got into the drivers seat. He sighed, resting his forehead on the steering wheel.

 

“I am sorry, Sayuri. You behaved wonderfully and I can’t believe he acted like that.” He said, shutting his eyes.

 

“I know his mood changed in the end and that I may have triggered him but what do you mean?” I caressed his white hair. He sighed.

 

“ 父さん is delirious. Normally, he is a very polite and kind man as you could see earlier in the garden; but thoughts of Bokuto-san leaving him alone make him uneasy. He can’t control it, the thoughts just come and he loses himself. He doesn’t gets aggressive but more like cynical and depressive.” He sighed, turning his head to face me. “I am sorry you had to witness him like that. I already knew you could trigger the thoughts but I wish I could take you away sooner.” Eita sat properly and held my hands. “So please, forgive him for saying such things!”

 

I say it again. I was too tired to fight or to argue or to get mad or to care for anything. Life is easier when I am tired since it helps keep my fiery soul in check.

 

I smiled faintly at Eita, squeezing his hands. “Don’t mind”

 

He looked at me confused. “Uh? What have you done with Bokuto Sayuri?” Eita started the car and raised the volume of the radio.

 

I leaned back on the seat and laughed. “I am just tired. Shut up and get me home, idiot.”

 

“Now that’s the Sayuri I know.” Eita chuckled as he turned right to take the avenue.

 

* * *

I rang the doorbell. Tetsurō opened the door a few moments later.

 

“Thank God you are ba-“ He looked at me shocked.

 

It looked like he was going to bombard me with questions for a second but instead he embraced me. He looked at Eita from above my shoulder, making him slightly let go of me.

 

“What are you doing h-“ Tetsuro sighed and shook his head. “Nevermind, thank you” He bowed and took me inside.

 

“You have to explain a few things to us, little lady,” Tetsuro said in a scolding tone as we walked to the living room.

 

I found Kotaro and that girl with long chestnut hair talking lively on the sofa. She turned and looked at me.

 

“Lily-chan!” She ran and hugged me.

 

I hugged her back “S-stella? What are you doing here?”

 

“I was so worried and felt so guilty for what you did!” She hugged me even harder. “Eita told me he went to Tokyo to pick you up and I have been here since 8AM telling your parents what happened” She let go of me.

 

I sat on the other couch, facing my parents and Stella. I told them my version and, as you can imagine, I gained the mistrust of my parents and Stella checking on me all the time for a few months.

 

Stella spent the whole day at my house that day. We forgave each other properly and watched some series together. 

 

“So, are you and Bokuto-chan friends now, Lily-chan?” Stella looked at me expectantly while eating strawberry pocky in my bed.

 

I looked over the manga I was reading. “Huh? Of course not, we are just going to be friendly from now on.”

 

“Still prideful I see” She chuckled and took the manga out of my hands.

 

“Hey!”

 

“He saved your ass, Lily-chan! Can’t you just say you are going to treat him as a good friend?”

 

I took the manga back and leaned on the backrest “No.” I peeked over the manga to find Stella’s judging gaze.

 

“Uyyy. Ok, I don’t know, maybe?” I extended the palm of my hand “Now give me a pocky!”

 

She stayed there looking at me with judging eyes. I sighed and went back to read manga. A few seconds later a pocky came flying to my face.

 

“Hey!”

 

I stopped reading and looked at Stella who was laughing at me. I pout and contemplated the pocky resting on my chest. I extended my neck to reach it and eat it. Stella laughed even harder and I laughed along.

* * *

 

The next morning, Kōtaro dropped me off school’s front door. I immediately heard whispers. I decided to ignore them as I entered and headed to my shoe locker. By the time I set a foot in the main hall I noticed: **everybody was watching me.**

And not in a friendly way.


	12. "I am done"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry! again, busy weekend. My hands still smell like wood (art school is an intense thing) but anyway, i am all for you all now!
> 
> this chapter has a TRIGGER WARNING for any survivors, proceed with caution.
> 
> Also, this chapter has music! here is the playlist link: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=gGg7bikaQOi7y-lqyghC2Q
> 
> Enjoy!

I look around me. Some faces are surprised, others, with expressions of mockery. I continued walking, anxiously, towards my locker. I started to feel the weight of the gazes on my shoulders; the whispers chiming in my ears.

 

_‘did you hear?… woah! with Toryu-chan? Tokyo?…she acted like a slut!…what’s up with the bandages?…disgusting…poor thing…told you she’s crazy…with three guys bro!!’_

 

I opened my locker and shivered. 

 

_‘Just what rumors are going around? God, I hope they are not too distorted from the truth.’_ I thought as my trembling hands tried to find what I needed.

 

** *play Bleeding by The Ready Set* **

 

“Bokuto-chan” I heard a severe voice on the other side of the locker door. 

 

I closed my locker and found him. That day, his red hair was combed back and looked wet. His big, red eyes looked tired; sad with bags under his eyes. His uniform jacket was untidy and his tie was not properly done. Tendō looked more hunched than ever.

 

As if my nerves could be worst, I shook violently. I was full of fear. “Tendō-kun…”

 

“I know we are not anything but…why?” His voice was dry, probably from crying.

 

“…I-i am s-sorry” My voice was weak. “I was really mad and I was not thinking things through.”

 

“Oh? Didn’t you? Seems like you planned things throughout.” He shut his eyes and breathed deeply “And even though you were mad, couldn’t you think of me for a second? Or am I that invaluable to you?”

 

“Tendō stop” I grabbed his arm. “Do you really kn—“

 

He yanked his arm from my hands. “Yes,” He raised his voice. “Yes, I know what truly happened. I was losing my shit over the rumors, but Bokuto Eita explained everything to me.” He sighed “But hell, Bokuto, did you ever think about me while you were with that guy?”

 

He grabbed my right cheek, which was not as bruised anymore so I decided not to cover it. Tendō caressed what was left of the bruise with his thumb. I was looking up to him with sorry eyes.

 

“Tendō, I am really sorry. You know you are my happiness and that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

 

He laughed bitterly. “Right now, I doubt it. Looks like I am just a pastime, or was, I don’t know.” He grunted and looked into my eyes. “Bokuto-chan, I love you and I am hurt. Hell, I will always love you and I will always be hurt as well. Goodbye.” 

 

Tendō let go of me and started walking. I ran and stood in front of him. “Tendo wait. Please forgive, don’t leave me.”

 

“Oh? So you just want my comp—“ He sighed and scraped his head. His red, sad eyes looked into my uneasy, yellow ones. “Just…just give me some time.”

 

Tendo walked past me, leaving me alone in the hall. I was staring at the floor when I heard some guys laughing from the other side of the hall.

 

“That’s what happens when you decide to be a slut, Bokuto-chan” One of the guys walked towards where I was; he was tall and strong. He slammed the wall, locking me where I was. “But I don’t mind so…hit me up whenever you want some” He grabbed my waist.

 

I rolled my eyes and punched him on the chin, making him step back. “Fuck off.” 

 

** *if you want, stop playing it here* **

 

I started walking away. I could feel him racing towards me. Then, I heard the guy saying ‘get lost’ followed by something hitting the lockers. The guy reached me and grab my arm.

 

“Leave her alone,” Eita stood between us, hurting his wrist so he let go of me. He also pushed him away.

 

The guy stood, ready to fight.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to get lost?” He swung his arm to hit Eita which the latter halted effortlessly.

 

Eita twisted the guy’s arm and applied pressure on his cubital fossa with his elbow, making the guy wince.

 

“You should walk away now, big guy” Eita said in a polite tone, looking into his eyes. “Don’t get yourself too hurt.” He applied more pressure.

 

The guy looked uneasy and his friends advised him to let go. After a while, he did and went away. I’m kinda thankful he did since I know how tough Eita can be…though that dumbass deserves a good beating.

 

“Lily-chan!” Stella ran through the hall to meet me. “Are you ok?” She turned back to see some girls gossiping. “People are fucking sons of bitches these days,” She said out loud and rolled her eyes, making them leave.

 

“I’m good, no need to worry Iwaizumi-chan” I hugged her shoulder and turned back to look at Eita. “ ありがとう ,  弟 (arigatou, otōtō/thank you, little brother)” I smirked. 

 

Eita smiled widely and Stella slightly hit my side with a smile on her face. I started walking, with her by my side and Eita behind us.

 

“ どういたしまして ,  姉 (douitashimashite, ani/you're welcome, big sister)” He pat my shoulder.

 

“ おや、兄弟でしょ！ (oya _[yes,_ i _did it]_ kyoudai desho!/oh, siblings!)” Stella stated in a happy voice.

 

We walked to class. People kept looking at me all day long but then I remembered: This was no different from any other time, people have always stare at me for various reasons. This was just one more.

* * *

 

A few weeks have passed. Guys still harassed me a lot but Eita always got in time to rescue me when things got ugly. Eita, Stella and I grew closer though I sometimes acted detached since I kind of don't want to accept him in my life yet…who knows, maybe that’s how it will always be. Ushijima, Yamagata, Ōhira, and the other _volleyboys_ kept hanging out with us. They even defended me if someone was making unpleasant comments or invading my personal space, especially Ushijima. My lefty bestie practically escorted me through the halls and even near my house a couple of times; I guess people do not mess with him since he will be volleyball team captain next year, plus he looks intimidating. 

 

On the other hand, Tendō sometimes sits at our table during lunch, keeping a distance from me, on the opposite corner of the table. He avoids me in the halls and is evasive whenever I visit his homeroom. However, he does not reject my tosses when I go to their volleyball practices. Tendo is just being quiet and distant…sigh. I miss his cheerful self and I regret my actions that night when I escaped to Tokyo.

 

Toryu and her girlfriends often find me in the halls and tell me it is not a big deal being a slut and that I can join them anytime. Of course, I reject the offer.

 

The hard part is when I am not with my friends. Guys take the chance to harass me when I am alone. It is not that I do not know how to defend myself but it is kind of scary when it is a large group of guys. Most of the time they follow me around the halls and out of school saying horrible things. They once went to the gym when I was practicing volleyball with the guys. Stella, of course, told them to fuck off and Koraito*, the team captain at the time, banned them from coming into the gym while we were practicing. That time, Tendō got really mad and stayed on the bench the whole afternoon.

 

 

*I just realized that I never introduced this character’s name with kanji so… 故頼戸 (Koraito) which means ‘Special Request Door’. To be honest, Koraito’s character idea came because I needed to have some third years since Sayuri, Ushijima, Tendo, Eita, Stella, among others are second years at the moment. I could only come up with one character and picked his name by matching random Japanese hiragana sounds (why am I like this?). I actually just picked the kanji for his name which as you see has three kanji (most people in Japan have only two kanji names [and I think I just broke the rule bc I don’t know of any exception] so yeah really ~unique~). We can honestly say that his name fits him well since he was just a special request waiting on my imagination’s door. I am weird.

 

 

I am really close with the girls in my swimming team and they let me tell my story without prejudices. Basically, they understand it was not my fault, but they, same as me, find wrong that I sneaked out of the city and made out with a stranger when I have feelings for Tendō.

 

However, it was when I decided to go on a solo practice in the school’s swimming pool. **I have never been the same since then.**

 

It was a typical Friday afternoon when I went to swimming practice. Since it was really late, even later than the volleyboys practice, there were not a lot of students left in school, except video and journal clubs in their respective club rooms, far from the pool. I had the pool for myself and the only things I could hear where my breaths and the water splashing. After an hour, I decided to take a long break and swim backstroke. As soon as I open my eyes, I meet five pairs of eyes staring back at me from the upper floor bleachers. I freeze, my blood runs cold.

 

_‘RUN!’_ Is the first thing I think.

 

I crawled out of the pool as fast as I could.

 

“Oh, now is that you notice us!”

“Don't run baby!!”

 

I could hear their footsteps descending the stairs that connect the upper floor bleachers to the pool area while I was running to the locker room. I locked myself in there and quickly opened my locker searching for my phone, texting Stella, Eita, and Ushijima: 

 

I'm in the swimming pool locker room. Guys are trying to get in. HELP

 

Soon after, I heard them knocking at the door.

 

"Open up, Bokuto-kun"

"Fuck yeah!"

"I want to do you next, Bokuto-kun!"

 

Now they were banging at the door, hitting it really hard, making it shake. Some were kicking it, others ramming it. I realized the door may fall soon and I held my backpack tight. The minutes of shouting and banging seemed eternal to me, full of despair. I collected all my energy sitting tight on the bench in the middle of the room, hoping I could stand them until help came.

 

"Masochistic rape enthusiast"

"Pervert"

"I bet you liked it when you got raped"

 

As the door fell from its frame, I stood up, ready to swing my heavy backpack at the bastards. They were third years. They walked towards me with all the patience in the world.

 

"Yes! You stayed in your swimsuit, attention seeking, cum loving whore"

"Wanna gangbang with us?"

 

Two came close enough for me to hit them with my backpack. They hit the bench and fell unconscious. Lucky strike.

 

"Cheap prostitute" Another guy charged towards me. I tried to lessen the impact but he made me end up against the lockers, my backpack between us. I hit him in the balls with my knee as hard as I could which made him step back. This gave me a chance to bang him to the floor with my backpack.

 

Another guy came charging towards me too. After a bit of wrestling, he took my backpack and sent it flying to the other side of the room. He pinned me to the lockers and started kissing my neck. I hit him in the balls multiple times but it seemed to do little to him. However, I bit his neck, making him loosen his grasp which gave me the chance to grab his neck and bang his head in the lockers.

 

I could not keep going since the other who did not attack me before, came from behind and grabbed my arms. He forced me to my knees and the other guy started getting rid of the swimsuit. I banged my head against the guy messing with my clothes in order to save time.

 

But he choked me "You know what they say about the innocent...they are the sluttiest"

 

As he said this, I felt the grasp of the guy behind me on my arms disappear, followed by a loud thud.

 

A hand grabbed the neck of the guy choking me and raised him in the air.

 

"And you know what they say about the dickheads...they will always be dickheads." Ushijima said with a deep voice, almost growling.

 

"Lily-chan!"

 

I turned back and found Stella. She was all sweaty and her eyes expressed shock. She was holding a shovel tight in her hands. Stella literally knocked the guy out. She let it go and hurried towards me.

 

"Are you ok? Can you walk? Let's go!" She held me by the upper right arm to help me stand.

 

Ushijima threw the guy on the floor, then picking my backpack and the towel inside my open locker and handed it to me.

 

The guy stood up and ran for the exit.

 

"Oh nononono, you are not going anywhere"

 

I turned my head towards the exit. It was Ōhira, halting the guy at the door frame.

 

"We should go, Bokuto-chan" Ushijima placed his hand on my shoulder.

 

As we walked to the exit I faced the guy.

 

"You are going to be in sooo much trouble. Fuck you" I punched him on the face and stepped outside.

 

I turned back and saw Stella taking pictures of the scene, probably as evidence. Smart little woman.

 

Shortly after, I collapsed on the floor, crying. It happened again. Thank God they came. But what if they hadn't come on time or at all? What would have been of me?

 

Ōhira crouched in front of me. “Bokuto-chan, you are fine now, everything will be alright.” He hugged me and caressed my head for a bit, calming me down. 

 

“Come on, stand up, we should go” He helped me up.

 

I faced the three of them. “Thank you guys”

 

Stella hugged me “I am glad we came on time. We were hanging out at the burger place. Yamagata, Eita, Koraito and the others have already left when you sent the text.”

 

“We must go and talk to the principal about this on Monday,” Ushijima said.

 

I nod. 

 

We walked out of school. Ushijima had his mother’s car that day so it made it easier to take me home. I waved goodbye at the three of them and went inside my house.

 

** *Play I Blame Myself by Sky Ferreira* **

 

“ ただいま (tadaima/I am home)” I said walking inside since I was barefoot. My hair was a mess and I was full of bruises again.

 

“ おかえり (okaeri/Welcome back)” I heard Tetsurō greeting me from the kitchen.

 

“Sayuri, are you sick? Sounds like you have a puffy nos-“ Kōtaro went silent when he saw me in the entrance hall. He had unbuttoned his shirt a bit and loosen up his tie from work. His amber eyes were wide open and his lips held the final 'e' of the word ‘nose’. He hurried towards me. “Baby, what happened? Why are you in your swimsuit? The bruises…” Kōtaro carried me to the kitchen and sat me down in one of the tall chairs of the table.

 

“What’s the matter?” Tetsurō asked a few instants before turning his gaze from the stove to meet my somber eyes. He immediately dropped the chopsticks he was using for cooking and turned the stove off. He now held my face between his hands. “Sayuri, who did this to you?”

 

“Some third years tried to rape me” My eyes started to water. “If it hadn’t been for Stella, Ush-“ 

 

I could not talk anymore, the lump in my throat was too big. Tears started streaming down my face as the silent sobs reached my father’s face. He immediately hugged me, followed by Kōtaro. My throat burned but now my hurting wails could get out.

 

* * *

After a while, I calmed down and told them what happened. They were also planning to talk to the principal on Monday. I got a nice warm shower and Kōtaro helped get patched up.*

 

*Okay headcanon time! So Kōtaro’s mother is a nurse and used to patch Kōtaro up whenever he got hurt since he was a little boy and even after matches in high school! (sometimes in college too). Eventually, he learned all there is to patching (even stitching!).

 

Tetsuro made his delicious curry with a hint of ginger and rice for dinner. We watched a movie together in the living room; me sitting between my parents, hugging each other. However, Kōtaro fell asleep halfway through the movie and I helped Tetsurō to carry him to their room.

 

That night I could not sleep, all I could think about is how tired I was of boys harassing me and not being able to do anything. How impotent I was at defending myself, therefore, the need to have someone by my side to defend me, most of the time, a guy. I wanted to become self-sufficient and be strong enough to let people know not to mess with me.

 

_‘But how?’_

 

The idea hit my mind a few instants later. My whole body shook and I sat in bed. My lips formed a smile and my head tilted back to laugh in satisfaction.

 

“It is all set, we start tomorrow, Bokuto-chan,” I told myself between laughter.

 

* * *

 

That Saturday, I woke up at 8:00 am and took a shower. I put on black sweatpants, and a white loose t-shirt beneath a black sports jacket. I got in the kitchen and put some leftover rice in the steamer. I also cooked bacon and grabbed canned coffee from the fridge. I broke a raw egg on top of the steaming rice and sat down to eat breakfast.

“ おや (oya [i did it againnn]) 、 up so early Sayuri?” Kōtaro entered the kitchen.

 

“Yeah, I am going for a walk” I looked up to him and smiled.

 

He pat my head. “I am glad you are in such a great mood today!”

 

Kōtaro started making himself some breakfast when I got up to wash the dishes and leave.

 

“I am leaving!” I said at the door, putting on my tennis shoes.

 

“Have a good one! Be safe and come by lunch!”

 

“Will do! Bye Dad!” I said as I close the door.

 

The place I wanted to go to was six blocks away from my house. I put one headphone on and started jogging towards my destination. The air outside was chilly and there were some people going out of their houses to go to work. There was a light fog that dissipated by the minute which made the sunlight shine brighter on my face.

 

By the time I arrived, I had to squint my eyes and block the sunlight with my right hand in order to read the sign.

 

‘ 伾賢の道場 ’* (Hikashikoi’s dōjo)

 

* 道場 (ōojo) means ‘Teachings Place’ while  伾賢 (Hikashikoi name’s kanji) means ‘Mighty Cleverness’. So yeah, Bokuto Sayuri is gonna learn some stuff here!

 

I opened the door and found myself in a wide wooden hall. I took off my shoes and put them in one of the shoeboxes to my right. Going forward, I turn right into a narrow hall with paneled walls, a garden growing on both sides outside the hall. The garden on my left has a fountain and some benches around it with a stone wall at the far end. The garden on my right has a series of grown unblooming trees to the sides, leaving an open path in the middle, connecting to a sliding door in the end. There were slippers on both ends of the hall if one wanted to go in the gardens. I put on the slippers on the right side and make my way to the sliding door.

 

I open the door and find Hikashikoi-sensei, the prominent owner of the dojo, transition between forms of kata*. He is medium height and slim; gray buzzcut hair and he wears a basic karate uniform with a prominent black belt. Hikashikoi-sensei is sixty years old and is a genius in martial arts. He was born in this city, Sendai, but he has traveled all around Asia since he was a young adult, devoting his life to martial arts. Now, he is a renowned martial artist in Japan, Thailand, Hong Kong, and even China! He is chief at Karate, Jujutsu, Kendo and Tai Chi though he teaches all martial arts if you ask him kindly.

 

*Kata is a practice in Karate. Kata is a formalized sequence of movements which represents various offensive and defensive postures.

 

Since the moment I met him, he became a role model to me. I wanted to be really damn strong and Hikashikoi-sensei was the perfect teacher. I stared in awe as he performed kata.

 

“Now, young lady. The air outside is cold, you know? If you want to observe, I may ask you to come inside.”

 

“Yes, sir!” I shook and got inside, closing the door so the chill air would not disturb him.

 

"What are you doing here so early?” Hikashikoi-sensei said as he continued his kata.

 

“Just looking around” I giggled, standing on the other end of the room.

 

“Though now that I think about it…” He grunted, throwing a punch in my direction. “…I think I have seen you here before”

 

His fierce black eyes met my thrilled amber eyes.

 

“Yes, I have been here once for a judo match when I was little.” I smiled.

 

“Ah, yes. Bokuto’s daughter. It is hard to forget a little girl with amber eyes cheering loudly at random contestants” He slowly stood still and bowed. I bowed back.

 

“I imagine you are not here to just chat,” He said as he walked to the opposite side of the room.

 

“No, sir”

 

“Have you come to learn martial arts? Or have you come to learn how to fight?” He slightly turned and smirked.

 

I giggled. “I have loved martial arts since I was little, but it is true that I want to learn how to fight now.”

 

Hikashikoi-sensei fully turned to face me. “Oh, an honest girl” He took a step forward. “May I ask your reasons why you want to learn how to fight?”

 

I gulped and looked away for a second. I stared into his eyes. “Guys have tried to rape me and I end up beaten up and saved by a last minute hero.”

 

He sighed. “I understand.” 

 

After a moment of silence, he spoke again.

 

“Come at me” He signaled with his hand, standing in the center of the court.

 

I walked to him. He quickly grabbed my hand, sweeping me off my feet to his other side. He turned his grasp to my wrist, twisting my body in the process. Leaving me with no support, Hikashikoi-sensei threw me facing up on the floor, similar to how a fisherman throws a large fish in the back of their boat.

 

I stared at him in shock. Now that I tell you this, I know what he did to me but at the moment I had no idea how I ended on the floor that day. He helped me stand up. 

 

“Bokuto-kun, I offer to teach you martial arts”

 

My faced lighted up.

 

“Thank you so much, Hikashikoi-sensei!” I bowed.

 

“Under one condition”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Martial arts as sport and self-defense only.” He stared at me with a stern face.

 

“Understood” I replied with a stern face…um, never mind, there was a hint of a smile on my face.

 

That morning, I learned to spar in Naihanchi-Tekki and affect the balance of Hikashikoi-sensei. 

 

As I was putting on my shoes to leave, Hikashikoi-sensei came to the front.

 

“Bokuto-kun”

 

“Yes?” I turned to face him.

 

“I want to leave something clear: My dōjo is a place of peace and defense instead of a base to plan warfare.” He said in a serious tone.

 

I nod. “Understood.” I turned back to open the door, stepping out of the dōjo.

 

“And next time’s practice won’t be free! 200¥ per session!” Hikashikoi-sensei yelled from the door.

 

I turned back and replied, “I won’t forget sensei!” I waved and made my way home.

 

Since then, I have been to practice four times a week and one of those days two sessions. In just two months I grasped the basics of taolu*, a strong kihon* with Hikashikoi-sensei, good at joint locks and atemi*, and soon to practice the kata of Kendo*.

 

*Taolu is a slow sequence of movements which emphasize a straight spine, abdominal breathing and a natural range of motion. (From Tai Chi)

*Kihon is a performance in unison of a technique or a combination of techniques by a group (in this case pair) of karateka. (From Karate)

*Atemi consists of grabbing, twisting or poking pressure points in the body of the opponent. (From Jujutsu)

*Kendo is a modern Japanese martial art, which descended from swordsmanship (kenjutsu) and uses bamboo swords (shinai) and protective armor (bōgu).(**one can use other weapons in this martial arts and you will see guys how interesting is the weapon that Bokuto Sayuri picks).

 

Here is all that it’s worth telling from my second year in Shiratorizawa High, from Eita appearing in my life to my intensive training in martial arts. What would third year hold for me?


	13. Aggressive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIRD YEAR BEGINS HERE, everything prior to this is the past.
> 
> Chapter contains songs, here's the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=gGg7bikaQOi7y-lqyghC2Q
> 
> As always, enjoy!

“Rei” Hikashikoi-sensei commands. 

 

Me and my opponent bow to each other. 

 

“ 始め (Hajime/Start)”

 

My opponent throws a punch. I dodge it, sliding to my right. I kick his side with the back of my right foot, making him lose his balance. I aim at his chest but he covers it with his arms, parallel in front of him. I keep punching until he loosens his arms. I push his arms sideways repeatedly in order to leave them weak and out of the way to punch his chest with all my might. He is about to fall but regained stability. However, I make my way to his back and, with a mighty push, he falls to the ground. 

 

“ 止める .  木兎くんは勝者です (Yameru. Bokuto-kun ha Shousha desu/ Stop. Bokuto-kun is the winner)" Hikashikoi-sensei announces, raising his arm. 

 

My opponent raises. We bow.

 

“ お疲れ様です (Otsukaresama desu/ Good work)"

 

After the Jujutsu tournament, I take a shower and go to the locker room to change clothes.

 

“Ayyy you were extra fierce today, Bokuto-senpai”  火殴 * says, entering the locker room. “Of all the poor people you beat up today, I feel sorry for that one last guy…what was his name??? Nochinabu ( 後嬲 )?”

 

I scoff. “Nochinagu ( 後殴 )”** I turn back to face her “You are a bitch you know?” I giggle.

 

“OOOOH YESS,” She says.

 

“Like, you don’t even give your opponents a chance to take two steps. You remind me of Killua in your technique today”*** I say, reclining on the lockers.

 

“I mean…can’t give out your moves…” She approaches me, her purple, flamboyant eyes were right in front of me. “…to stronger opponents.”

 

I close my eyes and scoff. I stand up straight, slightly looking down at her. “As if that’s gonna help you against me” I smirk.

 

_Squish_

 

She gropes my boobs “ まー , calm down Bokuto-senpai, you look tense, by the way, this bra is so cute! Where did you get it?”

 

My face goes blank. I squish her cheeks. “ やめてください。 (Yametekudasai./Stop it please.)"

She eventually let's go. I finish putting on my red wine tracksuit and head out the locker room. She is standing, facing the lockers in her underwear so I decide to slap her ass and officially head out the locker room. I can hear her yelling “SAYURI YOU BITCH”

 

* * *

 

*This girl is called Hinagu ( 火殴 ) which means ‘Fire Beat’. As you can see, she is a bit impulsive and says some bitchy things?? Anyway, she is 5’5’’, black, mid-arm length hair. Hinagu also trains at Hikashikoi-sensei’s dōjo; she enrolled in Jujutsu and Kendo courses at the beginning of the summer. She has not had the chance to face Sayuri in combat yet due to Sensei not pairing them together, and Sayuri refusing because she does not want to hurt her. However, she is polishing her moves to match Sayuri’s brutal techniques. She is going to start the second year at Karasuno High.

 

**WORDPLAY TIME!!! Okay, so the guy’s name is Nochinagu ( 後殴 ) which means ‘Last Kick’ (The second character is the same one in Hinagu’s name and means both beat and kick so ye, bear with me). Hinagu said Nochinabu( 後嬲 ) which means ‘Last Tease’. For me, this is super demeaning because his name is supposed to be a noble thing, last-blow-that-finishes-the-opponent kinda thing but what Hinagu called him is completely ridiculing his name. Though is also funny because Sayuri was the one who finishes him, and Nochinagu was the last opponent that lost to her (btw Sayuri lost to three people—two men and one woman—) so it is accurate to say that Sayuri teased him. Although is kind of unrealistic for people in real life to notice the difference, idk, it is interesting.

 

***Reference to mah sly boy Killua from HXH in the heaven’s arena arc where he was just using a single move for the first levels of the arena aka the weaker opponents.

* * *

 

 

I laugh and make my way through the hallways and out one of the courtyards, switching my indoor shoes for outdoor ones. I encounter Hikashikoi-sensei in a bench. I bow.

 

“Congratulations on your wins,” He says.

 

“Thank you”

 

“I am proud to see your progress since last fall to this summer” Sensei smiles, gesturing for me to sit down next to him.

 

“Yeahh, you took me down almost a hundred times a day so I was bound to learn your graceful techniques, sensei”

 

He chuckles. “I am glad you have learned a lot”

 

I stand up “My parents are waiting for me at home, tai chi lessons on Wednesday evening?”

 

“Yes, I expect to see you then”

 

“No doubt about it”

 

We bow to each other as a goodbye and I make my way into the main hallway that guides to the exit.

 

***play Back In Your Head by Ryan Adams (Tegan and Sara cover)***

 

I make my way out the dojo. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and the streets were silent. I put on my headphones and started jogging back home. 

 

I start my third year of high school tomorrow. Ushijima is going to become the captain of the volleyball team. We threw a little goodbye party for Koraito who is leaving for college in Yokohama. Stella has been chill, low-key flirting with Eita since summer break. He flirts back. Though I am kind of the unbreakable wall of ice between them. Sorry not sorry. On the other hand, the volleyboys are all fine. Eita made it into the team as a pinch server in late October. 

 

I have not seen Tendo since we finished school in June. He never goes to our hangouts, at least the ones I go to. I tried texting him three times over the summer, he never replied. I still regret what I did but it is kind of annoying how he avoids me.

 

By the way, Remember the guys that tried to rape me in the locker room? They could not graduate from high school and have to repeat third year outside the district. The Monday after the incident, Stella, Ushijima, Ōhira and I went to the principal’s office and told him what had happened.

 

Martial arts wise, I have learned a lot. However, outside the dōjo, only my parents know. I plan telling my friends sometime no later than the first week of classes. Maybe invite them to the dōjo for a tournament?

 

Oh! I also work part-time in Tori Cafe, to pay my lessons at the dōjo. There have been a few swimming competitions over the summer too! We have won some of them. Hikashikoi-sensei said that, depending on my improvement within next month, he might let me teach beginners Jujutsu!

 

I climb the stairs of the porch and check my clock. “ よしゃー！！ (yoshaa!!) 20 minutes! New record!”

 

“Tadaima,” I say.

 

“Okaeri” Kōtaro replies. “How was the tournament?”

 

“It was good” I take off my shoes and switch to my slippers in the entrance. “5 out of 8 wins” I announce as I hug him.

 

“I am glad sweetie!” He hugs me back, strongly. “Look at you, such a tough girl” He starts ruffling my hair.

 

“Ōto-san!! stop!! !!” I said, trying to escape his embrace.

 

“Why? I want to hug my baby”

 

“I am warning you. Let. Go.”

 

“Uyyy. Scary”

 

“You asked for it.”

 

I poke the sides of his waist so hard his embrace loosens just enough for me to tackle him to the couch. I hold his arms up and start tickling his armpits. Kōtaro starts laughing hysterically.

 

“Let..go!…you’….re….killing….meee…..” Kōtaro manages to say between laughs.

 

“That’s enough, Sayuri” Tetsurō walks in behind me and pulls me away from Kōtaro. “Though that scene was funny. You should have seen your face, dear” He giggles, addressing my dad who is now sitting in the couch fixing his hair with blush on his cheeks. “By the way,  おめでとう  sweetie. I am so proud of you (omedetou—congratulations)” Tetsurō hugs me, more gently now.

 

“Thank you!”

 

Kōtaro stands up in front of Tetsurō. “Funny huh?” He smirks and grabs Tetsurō by the ass. “What if I make you do some funny faces now?” Kōtaro licks Tetsurō’s chin and he turns red.

 

“Okay…I will withdraw to my room so you guys can escalate to R…” I say, retrograding from the living room.

 

“Thanks honey! I’ll call you when dinner’s ready” I hear Tetsurō say as it sounds like he is being pushed to the couch.

 

_‘Bunnies’_

 

I play some music and take a shower.

***stop the music***

* * *

 

“What do muscles need in order to work properly, Bokuto-kun?” The biology teacher asks me after a lengthy lecture.

 

“Zinc, Vitamin B12, oxygen, among others??” I answer, without looking away from what I was doodling on my notebook.

 

“Can you explain why, Bokuto-kun?” The teacher starts walking towards my desk.

 

“Zinc enables your body to produce muscle-building testosterone. It also promotes recovery from exercise, boosts fertility and increases your number of infection-fighting cells.” Someone from the back corner answers.

 

“That is right, Bokuto Eita-kun, but I asked this Bokuto,” He says, tapping my desk.

 

“You got your answer from a Bokuto though.” I smile at the teacher, standing up right as the bell rung.

** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **

“Oiiii Sayuri~~~” I hear the annoying dude as he runs in the hallway to reach me.

 

I walk even faster to the pools’ entrance, and close the door behind me. Eita opens it a fraction of a second later but I stop him halfway.

 

“Ugh, what do you want?”

 

“What you said in Bio…”

 

“Yeah?…”

 

“…do you accept me as a Bokuto now?” His eyes started sparkling.

 

“Whatever.” I let go of the door, he walks in.

 

“I mean you have been acting as if you accept me as your sibling for quite a while, and I don’t believe we have actually had a conversation about this or anything so I was wondering if-“

 

“Look. First, I don’t feel like talking about it. Second, you should leave, practice is going to start soon, and I don’t want you distracting the girls.”

 

“Oooo, do you think I will distract them? Am I that handsome?” Eita says in the most conceited tone, flexing and smirking.

 

“You mor-“ I sigh. Don’t feel like fighting. “Just…get out of here by the time I come back out,” I say, heading to the lockers.

 

“Will do!”

 

** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **

 

I meet up with some of my teammates in the locker room. Since I take a longer to change, they head out to the pools. Once I am done changing and walking out the lockers, I hear not-the-usual giggles and gasps. Raising an eyebrow, I keep walking. What I find is my girls giggling, covering themselves (and their eyes, though peeking), surprised against the closest wall to the pool because of the indecency that was swimming in it.

 

He stops for a second and looks at me. “Oh, hey Sayuri” He tilts his head “um, what’s up with that face?” He is swimming. In briefs.

 

I am pouting in disapproval, containing my insults as well as squinting my eyes.

 

“Anyways,” Eita resumes swimming “I didn’t know the pools were so nice” 

 

I squint my eyes more.

 

“It is still hot so I might as well come more often” He faces my teammates “what do you think, girls?”

 

They dare to giggle. I face them. They stop.

 

“Asshole, get out.”

 

“But there is another pool, you can practice there.”

 

I sigh and laugh. I loosen my towel and get in the water, swimming slowly to where Eita is backing off.

 

“Sayuri, don’t do anything you would regret” 

 

I hear him say before I submerge in the water, quickly reaching his feet and slightly dragging him down. I swim to the surface and immediately lock his feet with mine and pull his hair.

 

“Owwww” He winces as I hit him with the edge of the pool and start pushing him outside.

 

“Take him outside,” I tell my teammates who help him stand and, awkwardly, push him outside the pool gym.

 

“But, my clothes!!” Eita complains.

 

“You’ll be fine”

 

They lock the door. Practice can finally start.

 

 

* * *

I am walking to the gym after swimming practice, carrying Eita’s uniform folded nicely on my hands. Thinking back to what he was saying, after being stupid enough to delay my team’s practice, I _have_ been more accepting of him. I mean, who wouldn’t after what he did for my well-being. I am a bit, well, really edgy but I am not _that_ crazy. He has been really nice since day one, but doesn’t let me stomp on him which is reasonable. But still, Eita truly is an honorable guy though he genuinely pisses me off most of the time. And then there is the question…why am I so harsh towards Eita? Is it because he is living proof that my father Kōtaro once cheated on my father Tetsurō? Is it because he decided to acquaint with my friends? The petty me finds these reasonable. But then I remember the expression of my father Tetsurō after Eita brought me back home. He looked tense, horrified, disgusted. However, he just hugged me, relieved that I was in his arms.

 

_‘These days, maybe it is for my father’s honor’_

 

As I approach the volleyball gym, still lost in thought. I can hear the volleyball team laughing hysterically, especially Stella, Ōhira, Shirabu and Yamagata. I get curious, hurrying to open the door.

 

“Hey guys, How’s ev-“

I stop talking and contemplate the scene. They are all laughing at Eita who found something really odd to wear. Yes, the boy wrapped himself in the volleyball’s team banner. Ōhira and Yamagata have notepads out, trying to sketch him making comments like ‘you look like a modest model’ which makes Eita blush even more. Taichi is handing a spare uniform he had to Eita but, instead of taking it, they started arguing how big it would look on him. Stella and Ushijima looked amused although embarrassed, laughing nonetheless. Shirabu and Tendō were messing with Eita, pulling the banner away to make him freak out. The other members are standing farther away from the scene. They are all having fun. At least Tendō, until I arrived. 

 

It’s been months since the last time I saw him which was the last day of the second year, leaving school without saying goodbye. He looks the same, but his eyes are full of pain when they meet mine just a second ago. He ceases laughing and walks away, near where a cart full of volleyball is.

 

_‘Oh, he won’t avoid me today’_

 

I leave Eita’s uniform on a bench and follow Tendō. The team keeps messing around, but I can feel they tuned it down a little as they were paying attention to the even unfolding on the corner.

 

He sits in the bleachers. I wait a few seconds to stand in front of him.

 

“Hey”

 

“Hi”

 

_‘he answered, that’s a step forward’_

 

“How’s everything?”

 

“I’m fine”

 

“I am glad”

 

He sighs

 

“Can I sit next to you?”

 

He nods

 

I sit. His back is arched forward, his forearms meeting his knees where he has his hands clasped together. Tendō has his face hidden between his arms.

 

“So…how was your summer?”

“It was good”

 

“Did you read a lot of manga? Last time we talked you said you had to catch up with some”

 

“Yeah…” He raises his head to look at me though his expression is not pleasant “…but you know, I was too busy getting over some shit so I could not concentrate on reading”

 

That sarcastic voice gets the best of me. Tendō used to talk like that when we were teasing each other or when we were talking about other people. Never before he has used that tone to attack me. That’s it.

 

“Oh, really?” I gasp “Oh my God that sounds awful, what were you going through? but like, are you okay now?” I grab his shoulder, smiling condescendingly.

 

He smiles back, bitterly. “I am doing great! Thanks for asking. What about you? I heard you also went through some shit. Are you okay? Is your ego repaired? Oh, I hope it is cause you need that to fuck shit up as you always do.” He smirks.

 

I laugh “Yeahhh, it was a struggle but I am back at it. Stronger” My grip on his shoulder tightens. “Than” I apply more pressure. “Ever” Even tighter grip, with my thumb applying pressure to a neck muscle.

 

Tendō winces. He raises his hand to move mine away, but I grab it hard as I apply more strength to his shoulder.

 

“I am fucking tired of you ignoring my calls. So man up and say what you want to say. Stop avoiding me.”

 

He laughs. “Oh so you now use violence instead of sweet words to manipulate people, huh?”

 

I swear my blood is boiling hotter by the second. Tendō is fucking cynical now. I need to show this little bitch a lesson. 

 

So it goes.

 

I push him out of the bleachers, making him lose his balance. I seize the opportunity and start punching his chest. He is trying to block my punches but he can’t. He is not avoiding them either. This violence feels useless. By now, I hear all everyone elses' steps rushing towards us. I am frustrated. I try to punch even harder, but I look up. I look up and find Tendo’s gaze. I see a mix of pain and disgust. He halts my fists and holds them down to his sides.

“Bokuto-chan. Stop” Ushijima says in a stern voice.

 

My face feels hot, the air I am inhaling is sharp. I am crying. I manage to escape Tendō’s grip and hug him.

 

“Please forgive me,” I say with a muffled voice, my face against his jersey.

 

But he pushes me back, harshly. Tendō turns around and walks away. He raises his forearm, probably wiping off tears.

 

“Tendō Satori don’t you dare lea-“ Ushijima is interrupted by the bang of the door.

 

He sighs, and takes a step back as if he is going to run for him. But he sighs again and faces me. 

 

“Bokuto, I may ask you to leave”

 

They all look at me.

 

_‘What have you done?’_ Their eyes scream.


	14. Scolds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday, everyone! hope you are having a good day!
> 
> As always, the playlist link: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=LCU5_c-XSba8EBZj5pk3wg
> 
>  
> 
> I am really excited to share this chapter with you all!!

“What the fuck were you doing? Are you out of your goddamn mind?” 

 

I hear Eita say these words as he bangs open the gym doors and steps out, followed by everyone else. I am sitting on a bench outside, chin on my knees.

 

“Don’t feel like answering, huh?” Eita says as he approaches me.

 

He grabs the neck of my hoodie, and by surprise, lifts me up. I am facing him. His eyes are burning with enraged passion. I keep the sternest face I can pull off.

 

“How the hell do you hurt Tendō when you are the one at fault?” He shakes me.

 

“Why are you defending him so much? You met him not so long ago.”

 

“True. But he is my friend, and I feel the need to defend him from your irrational actions”

 

I scoff and hit his hand to free myself from his grasp. “I already know I fucked up, okay? You don’t have to remind me.” I start to walk away.

 

He grabs my arm and pulls me back where I was, gripping it hard. “I don’t fucking care that you know, you need to apologize, fix this in any way you can.”

 

“Don’t tell me what to do” I grunt, grasping the arm he is holding me with and pushing pressure points.

 

By reflex, he lets go of my arm which allows me to grab his shoulder and push him against a wall.

 

“Bokuto, enough” Ushijima hurries to separate me from Eita.

 

Surprisingly, Eita yanks me from Ushijima’s grasps and, this time pushes me against the wall. He is grabbing my shoulders with crossed arms, his forearms being dangerously close to my neck. I kick his left side with my knee, grab his shoulders, and push him to the ground. Eita locks my hips with his legs and rotates to get on top of me. He pins my wrists down.

 

“Honestly, you need to stop reacting in shitty, reckless ways and start acting like a normal person.”

 

“Bokuto, st-“ Ushijima is interrupted by Eita’s swift rise.

 

I get back up and try to land a punch on Eita’s face, stopped by the latter who sweeps my feet off the ground. I end on the floor once again.

 

Moments after, Taichi helps me get up. I look around. They are all shocked, looking at me as if they do not know me anymore.

 

“First time I have witnessed Bokuto Sayuri being defeated…” Someone standing behind the team says.

 

We are all confused, turning our heads to face this person. The guy takes a step forward and I see him. He has the volleyball’s team jersey no. 8. New member. However, his bowl cut black hair and dark eyes full of determination look way too familiar.

 

“What the hell do you mean?” Some of them ask.

 

“Do I know you kid?” I ask

 

“Yes and no, apparently” He replies with an enthusiastic voice. “ 私は五色勉です。よろしくお願いします。 ” (Watashi wa Goshiki Tsutomu desu. Yoroshiku oneggaishimasu./ I am Goshiki Tsutomu. Nice to meet you.) He bows.

 

After seeing his bangs hang because of gravity, realization hits me. I _have_ seen this guy before.

 

* * *

 

” 始め ” (Hajime/Start)

 

Goshiki charges towards me. I evade his attack but soon he is facing me again. We begin sparring, fast, avoiding each other’s attacks. I push him back a little and grab his cubital fossa. Quickly, I raised my right leg and hit him, making him fall as I also push him down by the arm. 

 

The defeated opponent looks up to me, panting. His eyes are fired up.

* * *

 

“Yeahh, now I remember” I smile at him.

 

“Oh, you do!” Goshiki chuckles, scratching his head “Pardon my audacity Bokuto-senpai but people referring to you as an Itsumade* don’t do justice to your fierceness just now” He stated in a shy tone.

 

*Itsumade, in Japanese mythology, is a bird-like monster. They have the face of a human with a pointed beak, and the body of a snake with wings, and terrible claws. People might associate Sayuri with this creature since she strikes fear in the dōjo, especially when defeating her opponents. Her eyes of cold victory never to be forgotten, kind of how an Itsumade repeats “itsumademo” which means “until when?”, making its witnesses feel helpless. 

 

I nod, confused. Looking around me, the other members of the team look even more lost than me.

 

“Care to explain, newbie?” Shirabu asks with an irritated tone.

 

“Bokuto Sayuri here” He points at me “Is a badass and exceptional member of Hikashikoi’s dojo!”

 

“What the—“

“Oh, I have heard of that place”

“Cool”

“Since when?”

“Teach me some moves!”

“I think that explains a lot, Bokuto-chan…”

 

Those are some of the immediate responses to what Goshiki said. However, Ushijima, Eita, and Stella remain quiet…at least for a few seconds longer than expected.

 

“And you don’t say shit now, do you?” Stella scoffs.

“You shouldn’t be practicing your new moves on Tendō. I am sorry, but that is abusive.” Ushijima crosses his arms.

 

Eita just sighs.

 

The latter three start walking away. This should be the time I say ‘wait guys! i can explain!’ and I mean, I can explain why I am in a dōjo, and why I haven't told them before. But I cannot explain what I did to Tendō. That was such a stupid move. I have so much shit to fix now.

 

But I just sigh, heading towards the opposite direction.

 

“Hey, hey stop there.” Yamagata puts his hand on my shoulder, halting me. “Where do you think you are going? you owe us all an explanation.” He turns his head back and says out loud “Let’s all go to the burger joint!”

 

* * *

 

Yamagata is so persuasive. Even in the toughest times, he keeps the team, and overall our friend group from falling apart. So here we are, sitting in two booths inside the burger restaurant.

 

Taking a sip of my soda, I begin explaining away my reasons for practicing martial arts. “Since the last assault happened, something inside me told me I was not going to be safe and that I could not always rely on last-minute saviors.” I eye Eita, Stella, Ōhira, and Ushijima.

 

They nod, sympathetically and with a hint of sorrow.

 

“I spent the last semester of second year and summer training, hard. I have also been really busy over the summer and I kind of wanted to invite you guys to a tournament to show off my new skills” I blush, scratching my head “but of course, I had to fuck things up and do that to Tendō.”

 

They are all eating, looking at me. I gulp down a piece of my own burger.

 

“Is there any logical explanation on why you did that to him?” Stella asks

“No, I am sorry. I got frustrated and lashed out” I lower my head

 

“You don’t have to say sorry to us, Bokuto-chan. You have to say it to Tendō yourself.” Ushijima states.

 

“I will”

 

There is a moment of silence, well, besides the background noise of chattering, steps, ambient music and chewing.

 

“Martial arts are a sport and a self-defense tool” Eita states from the corner of the booth.

 

We all turn to him, but his fervent eyes are locked on mines.

 

“And for physical self-defense only, dumbass. I do not fucking care about the war you’ve got in your mind at that specific moment. An effective martial artist, and any sports player in general needs to keep their emotions in check.”

 

The team nods in response, I do too though I am embarrassed.

 

* * *

 

I wave everyone goodbye and turn around to make my way home.

 

Eita yanks my arm. “I am not done with you, Sayuri. Follow me.”

 

I yank my arm away from his grasp. “Why should I?”

 

“Let’s do this the easy way, please”

 

I sigh and follow him.

 

We walk a few blocks and arrive at a place that looks closed. Since it is significantly dark out, I cannot make out what the sign says. However, it looks like Eita is quite familiar with this place since he opens the door with a key. We go in.

 

It is even darker inside, so I follow him closely in order to not to get lost. After turning a few times, we reach a wall where he turns the light switch on.

 

We are in a boxing gym.

 

** *play Leviathan by G-Eazy* **

 

“What th—“ I am interrupted when he grabs my hand and guides me inside the ring. 

 

I do not know why in hell, but I follow him. I now stand in the middle of the ring while he looks for something in his bag. Bandages. He throws some towards me.

 

“See, Sayuri-chan.” He chuckles, starting to wrap the bandages around his hands “I have been training in boxing for four years now. I used to have your same faults at some point, guess that stubborn, crazy temper is a thing we share. Thing is. My sensei would not tolerate my shit whenever I was whining.”

 

He starts backing to a corner, I do too. I can see where this is going.

 

“Thing is, he came up with this routine, for those times I acted like a little bitch, you know?” He starts walking to me, loosening his body. “He called it, “Grow up, and grow some” 

 

Lighting fast, Eita punched my belly. I scream in pain, quickly retreating and kicking his side twice. He tries to land punches on me but I am moving around too much. However, I am not used to fighting in a ring which leaves me at disadvantage. Soon enough, Eita corners me, and while I try to punch him to make him back off, he locks my arms and tosses me to the ground. 

 

I start kicking in order to make him back off, but he manages to grab both of my legs and gets on top of me. Eita does not hold back, he punches my face whenever my arms are not in the way. But this does not last for long since I manage to punch his face which makes him lose his balance. I am able to throw him to the side and get back up. 

 

Swiftly, he stands up and charges towards me; but I evade him by moving to the side. He is suspended in the ropes long enough for me to kick upwards, hitting his belly and retreat to the middle of the ring. After a few moments of menacing each other with kicks and punches, I punch his shoulder which allows him to lock my arm and smack the side of my head. However, I manage to free myself, and a few moments later, I charge towards him, trapping him in a corner. 

 

Locking his legs with mines, I aim for his face, but his forearms are blocking my punches. At some point, he reveals his face, but only to hit me with his forehead against mine, making me back off. But Eita does not let me escape, he holds my shoulders to keep me in place as he kicks my right side with his left knee. Eita then tosses me to the floor and walks slowly towards me to then start kicking my belly once again. 

 

By now, I am dizzy, coughing blood. But I do not give up. I move my legs to meet Eita’s, sweeping off his feet. I get on top of him and start pounding his head with hands clasped together. He grabs my hands but I shake him off to then grab his wrists and attack his pressure points. 

 

Grabbing his wrists, I flip him upside down to then grasp his hair and smash his face into the ground. However, Eita manages to grab my neck, flipping me over. I lay there for a few moments, blurry vision, but I can distinguish Eita’s bloody face closing in on me. He is panting. He raises his fist.

 

_Crack_

 

** *stop music* **

* * *

***play chateau by blackbear***

 

_‘How could she?’_

 

Tendō thinks as he slams the main door shut. His parents are on a business trip so he is home alone.

 

_‘She has become one evil bitch, hasn’t she?’_ The dark side of his mind asks

 

“No, no. I am the coward here, I could not bring myself to forgive her for almost a year now” Tendō yells to himself as he lands on a couch.

 

_‘She’s been a slut. She doesn’t care about you.’_

 

Tendō sobs.

 

Tendō’s limbs start to ache. He is remembering vividly how kids use to bully him in middle school. They treated him as a monster, because of his slim, slouch figure and his big red eyes. The poor thing he was just trying to be friendly back then. But his given name is Satori*, and he is driven by people’s thoughts. His bullies hateful auras sustained his own in a way. Tendō cannot help to find pleasure in breaking people spirits.

 

The slouch, sad figure on the couch is now laughing, throwing his head back.

 

_‘Did it felt good to see Bokuto-chan’s helpless expression?’_ The dark side of his mind grins

 

“Seems like she is driven by violence now” He laughs, covering his face.

 

It is hard to break the spirit of someone who sees all.

 

*The name satori literally means “enlightenment” in the Buddhist sense. The satori, with its uncanny ability to read thoughts, comes across as a kind of enlightened being to scared travelers, which is how it got its name. 

 

“Breaking bones do not break the soul, my dear Bokuto-chan” Tendō sighs, satisfied with his analysis.

 

_‘And if she can have some fun so can I’_

 

Tendō goes to the kitchen counter where he left his phone.

 

“ 力植 _*,_ 君は物が連れ込んでか？ (Rikiu, kimi wa mono ga surekonde ka?—Rikiu, are you bringing the stuff?)”

 

“ もちろん。 (Mochiron. — Of course.)”

 

Tendō grins as he goes into the kitchen to heat up some lasagna his parents left him.

 

* 力植 (Rikiu) means ‘Strong plant’ but for the context….’strong weed’

 

* * *

 

“ ただいま～ (tadaima~/ I’m home~)” Rikiu giggles as he takes off his shoes at the entrance. 

 

“sup” Tendō replies nonchalantly.

 

“Oiii, do you mind them joining us?” There were two girls behind him.

 

“Is all good” Tendō says walking inside, followed by them.

 

They sit in the living room and light a few joints. After a while of giggling and saying stupid shit, they go to the kitchen and eat the lasagna Tendō heated up before. They, of course, leave a big mess.

 

“Satori-kun, could you play some music, ya know, for the ambiance,” One of the girls says, swinging from side to side.

 

“Sure, let me get my laptop upstairs” Tendō replies as he starts walking to the stairs.

 

The girl grabs his wrist “Let me go with you!” 

 

“Us too!” Say the other two.

 

Before Tendō knows it, there are dancing in a conga line as they climb the stairs, holding each other together by the waist.

 

They arrive at Tendō’s bedroom. Rikiu and one of the girls crash on the floor and light another joint. As Tendō starts playing some chill, techno music in his speakers, the girl who is grabbing his wrist draws him away from the laptop and makes him land on top of her in his bed. She giggles and kisses him. Tendō smiles, kissing her back and then falling to the side to light another joint then handing it to her.

 

“So tell me, Satori-kun” She lays on her side, facing him. “Why now, of all times, do you decide to share our vices?” She takes a drag, releasing the smoke on his face.

 

He chuckles.

 

Rikiu is a freshman at Tohoku Bunka University now, but Tendō has known him since he was a second year in Aoba Johsai High. But it wasn’t until a year ago that he started hanging out with him at night. Rikiu always offers Tendō drugs whenever they go out but Tendō always refuses. He still has fun though, only consuming alcohol.

 

But Tendō does not care today.

 

“Ready to try it?” Rikiu calls Tendō as he pours some cocaine on a small glass table.

 

“Gimme that” Tendō giggles, standing up and giving a last, long drag of the joint before returning it to the girl.

 

Eventually they all sit in front of the table and start doing lines. After a while, they are all trashed and there is barely any self-control left. And, not long after, they start passing out one by one.

 

And they would stay like that for some time.

 

** *stop music* **

* * *

 

A car pulls up in front of the Bokuto household.

 

The hair and hands of Bokuto Sayuri’s unconscious body are hanging as Bokuto Eita carries her to leave her on the porch. He leaves her in front of the door. Eita is about to turn back and head home but someone inside the house is rushing to the door before he has the chance to leave.

 

“Sayuri, where were you that—“ Tetsurō stops talking when he opens the door and sees the scene.

 

Quickly, he grabs Eita and punches him.

 

“What have you done to my daughter?! You piece of shit” Tetsurō yells at Eita, shaking him.

 

Eita stays silent. His eyes are full of shame.

 

“You fucking psychopath,” Tetsurō punches him again “just like your father.”

 

Eventually, Tetsurō kicks him out and Eita gets in his car to leave.

 

_‘Guess I also did an irrational thing out of frustration, Sayuri-chan’_ Eita thinks as he sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER (at least for me)
> 
> did you like it? any predictions??
> 
> thanks for reading!


	15. Are We Good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY, EVERYONE. Extremely busy weekend. My parents are visiting and I just finished messing with plaster (my fingers are blueish and I look dead lol)
> 
> anyway, here's the chapter (better late than never, huh? still im sorryyy)
> 
> enjoy!

“She won’t be able to go to school tomorrow” Is the first thing I hear when I wake up.

 

“We need to take her to the hospital, Kōtaro. Look how that animal left our daughter.”

 

“You are right, my patching won’t be enough.” Kōtaro grunts “I need to go talk about this with Akaashi tomorrow”

 

I cough and they turn to face me. 

 

“Oh thank God you are awake,” My parents say in unison. 

 

* * *

 

“She is badly beaten up, but thankfully she does not have any broken ribs,” The doctor says showing us an x-ray of my abdomen. 

 

“Although there is not a major trauma, I would like her to say in the hospital tonight just to make sure there is no internal bleeding” 

 

My parents and I nod. They are holding my hands. 

 

After half an hour, nurses get me into a room and patch me up properly. It is only me and my parents in the room now. I tell them everything that happened, including what I did to Tendō.   


 

Tetsurō exhales loudly, visibly angry “okay. First, you need to control yourself. And Tendō-kun? Really? Wow Sayuri, I am so disappointed. Second, why the hell did you not run away from the fight??? Oh right, you are a stubborn little girl and now look at you!” He extends his palms towards me. “All beaten up because of it.” He sighs and rubs his eyes for a moment. “I am telling Hikashikoi-san about this. Hopefully, you are banned from the dōjo.”

 

I look at him, shocked. “But Dad I—“ 

 

“No Sayuri, I cannot stand you getting into this kind of trouble” He grunts and crosses his arms. 

 

“Tetsurō is right Sayuri. This has gone too far; you either behave or never practice martial arts again.” Kōtaro says in a stern voice. “And how you are now, I don’t think you are fit to even practice at the dōjo for a while.” He sighs. “Just,” Kōtaro grabs my hand with both of his hands “consider us when you are about to do such things and walk away from the trouble, for our and your own sake please”.

 

I nod, a tear rolling down my chin. 

 

After a moment of silence, Tetsurō grunts.   


“That boy needs to go to jail”

 

“He will probably end up serving some days at a juvenile if I report him, Tetsurō” Kōtaro looks at the two of us. “And I will”  


* * *

 

“Coming!” Akaashi says as the bell rings.

 

He finds Kōtaro and Tetsurō with a police officer standing there.

 

“We need to talk to Eita,” Kōtaro says

 

Akaashi looks at him, shocked “He’s in school right n—“

 

“Is okay, I am here” Eita says, walking down the stairs in pajamas.

 

Akaashi squints his eyes at Eita “What are you doing here? What happened to your face?” He questions his son with an angry, confused tone.

 

“Care to explain what happened yesterday, Bokuto-kun?” Tetsurō says

 

Eita nods as he slides the living room door open “Right this way”

 

Eita explains how he lured Sayuri into a fight and beat her up. However, he did not talk about his confrontation with Tetsurō.

 

Akaashi stares at his son ashamed and does not say a word. Kōtaro’s expression is a mix of shame and rage. On the other hand, Tetsurō’s is anger with a hint of mockery.

 

The officer sighs “You’ve got yourself in quite a problem here, kid. Based on the situation, the fight being agreed on both side and you being a minor, you would have to either pay a fine of 200,000 yen or do community service for three months.” The officer stands up.

 

“Thank you officer, and sorry for the trouble” Akaashi bows, following the officer to the front door.

 

As soon as the officer leaves, Akaashi goes back to the living room.

 

“We know Sayuri needs to control herself, but what you did was absolutely worse” Kōtaro addresses Eita.

 

Eita nods “I am sorry, I got carried away.”

 

“Carried away?” Tetsurō scoffs “My baby is in pain on a hospital bed because of you” He grunts. “At least it looks like she got you good”

 

“Kuroo, enough” Akaashi says, making them all look at him “I am paying the fine.”

 

Tetsurō stands up abruptly “Paying the fine?” He laughs as he walks towards him “Spoil, it looks like you have raised your child so bad you don’t even know where he is or what he is doing all the time.” He scoffs “I wonder how many other fines you have paid in the past to cover this rogue.”

 

Akaashi squints his eyes and breathes heavily “Kuroo, I may ask you to leave”

 

Tetsurō smirks and bumps into Akaashi as he walks to the exit. “Let’s go, honey” 

 

Kōtaro stands up and follows, not giving Akaashi or his son another glance.

* * *

 

“You are free to go, Bokuto-kun” The doctor pats my shoulder and hands me a prescription “You will need to get an ointment for the bruises, apply ice every four hours or so, keep taking painkillers, and of course, resting which means not practicing any sports for at least two weeks.”

 

I smile at him “Thank you”

 

He nods and leaves me with my parents. I sigh. 

 

“Well well, looks like there not many complications, thank God” Kōtarō giggles, 

scratching his head.

 

“May this be the last time, Sayuri” Tetsurō warns me

 

I smile and bow, standing up the hospital bed.

 

* * *

 

“ お父さん (otō-san/dad),”

 

“Yes, honey?” Tetsurō turns and Kōtaro looks at me from the rearview mirror. 

 

“Could you drop me off at Tendō’s please?”

 

They glance at each other and then at me. 

 

“Isn’t he at school?” Kōtaro asks

 

“No, Stella said he did not go today” *****

 

Tetsurō hums with intrigue. “Yeah, I guess you should go see him. Just for an hour or two at least; you have to rest”

 

“Thanks”

 

Kōtaro pulls up in front of Tendō house. They wait for me to go in for a couple of minutes since no one comes to open the door. However, I remember they leave a spare key buried a few inches deep in the soil of the pine tree’s pot to my right. I open the door and hide the key again, waving goodbye at my parents. 

 

I take off my shoes and notice three pairs of shoes scattered in the entrance as I catch the faint scent of weed inside the house. 

 

_‘What the fuck have you done Tendō...’_

 

I turn left and see the mess in the living room. Turn right, and the mess in the kitchen. I sigh and head to the kitchen first. Someone had to clean this mess. 

 

After a while, I clean the first floor. I even light up some incense and open a few windows to clean the air. I know I was told to rest because of my wounds, but I could not help but to clean a mess I might be a cause of. And then I go upstairs; as I approach Tendō’s room I hear snoring. 

 

_‘It is already four in the afternoon and these fuckers are sleeping. Wow’_

 

I slide the door open and cautiously peek inside. 

 

Just what the hell. 

 

There is a half-dressed guy sleeping on the floor. His nose with a visible smudge of cocaine and his torso with smudges of lipstick. On the other hand, there is Tendō between two girls on his bed. Oh, and they are naked. 

 

Honestly, I just scoffed. To my right, there is a pile of books which I decide to break. The sound of the books crashing down and my bangs on the door wake them up really good. 

 

“What the f—“ The four scumbags say in unison. 

 

“Party is over. Get the fuck out.” I yell in a demanding tone. 

 

I have never seen people leave a room so quick. Though Tendō just got under the sheets, still rubbing his eyes to wake himself up completely. 

 

I stand by the door, arms crossed as he looks at me despicably. Not that I am not staring at him the same way though. 

 

“Wow. You look like shit” We say in unison. After a few seconds of glaring at each other, we laugh. 

 

“Looks like someone really messed you up, huh?”

 

“Drugs, really?” I chuckle “Eita and I were basically fighting to death while you were here doing stupid shit.”

 

“Whatever” He falls back on his bed. 

 

I grunt

 

_‘Don’t fight. You know you can’t’_

 

I approach him, grabbing him by the hair. I yank him out of the bed.

 

Immediately, he covers his crotch. “What the fuck?”

 

“You need a good bath,” I say, walking behind him and pushing him to the bathroom. “You stink”

 

Tendō growls but cooperates.

 

As we walk, I glance at his ass. “Nice hickey you’ve got there” I slap his right cheek.

 

He turns his head, his face red with embarrassment, but gets in the tub nonetheless.

 

“Um, can you leave?” He says bashfully as I open the faucet to fill the tub. 

 

“Nah”

 

Tendō lowers his head, blushing.

 

“And, by the way, why are you acting like a shy boy right now? Seems like you were quite the confident man last night.”

 

He chuckles. “Shut up”

 

I smirk.

 

I spend a few minutes looking at him scrub his milky skin. The look on his face is a mixture of bashfulness and pride while at the same time deceit of concentration in bathing when instead he was looking at me from the corner of his eye.

 

“Tendō, I am sorry”

 

“Hm?” He turns to look at me.

 

“I am sorry for everything, from my getaway to Tokyo to yesterday.”

 

“Yesterday? What happened yesterday?” Tendō rests his arms on the edge of the tub.

 

I squint my eyes “Are you serious?”

 

_‘Shit, those drugs hit him hard’_

 

He starts laughing

 

“Of course you are not” I roll my eyes

 

“Ah Bokuto-chan,” He places his wet hand on my knee “I kind of missed talking to you” Tendõ smiles

 

I smile back.

 

He gets out of the tub and dries himself up.

 

“So…do you forgive me?”

 

Tendō just chuckles, leaving the bathroom.

 

I sigh, smiling.

 

After a few minutes, he comes back wearing black leggings and a long white shirt with ‘ はい ’ (Yes) printed in black. Tendō stands in the doorway with open arms. I chuckle, standing up to hug him. He hugs me back.

 

“I missed you, dork”

 

“I missed you too, idiot”

 

So here we are, laying on the floor reading manga, catching up with Tendō on our favorites. 

 

“Wow, you are halfway through this series and you did not tell me anything?”

 

Tendō chuckles “If you want I can give you the volumes for you to catch up”

 

“That’d be nice, thanks” I smile at him just as I hear a car pull up the front and my phone rings. “Oops, gotta go. See you tomorrow” 

 

“Take care” Tendō waves goodbye as I leave his room. 

 

* * *

 

“Breakfast is ready!”

 

“Coming!” I say walking out of my room, putting my school jacket on. 

 

As usual, Kōtaro is in the kitchen and Tetsurō is on the dining table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, both in suits. I sit down and start eating. 

 

Suddenly, Tetsurō coughs violently as he takes a sip of coffee. 

 

“Are you okay?” I stand up to aid him, but he slightly moves away, flipping the newspaper. 

 

I give him a questioning glance. 

 

Tetsurō stops coughing “I am fine now” He smiles. 

 

I yank the newspaper out of his hand, flipping to the page he was reading. 

 

The title of the lower right column reads **‘MIDDLE-AGE MAN BEATS A TEENAGER FROM LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL’**

 

On the right of the article, a picture of Tetsurō grabbing Eita by his shirt, punching him. 

 

At the bottom of the article, **_‘Written by Akaashi Keiji’_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *okay so let's imagine Sayuri, being the savage she is, sends Stella a bunch of selfies showing off her bruises which leaves the latter disgusted.
> 
> ik ik, everything got solved rlly quick (i mean everything was fucked up so it is logical that everyone wanted to put a stop to it??) but don't worry! many other things to come!
> 
> any predictions or ideas for future troubles? muahahah


	16. Froze Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey! finally! this week I am able to update earlier. Midterms are coming but the week after is my spring break so I would have more time to work on this story! probably work on a oneshot too.
> 
> anyway! this chapter has songs soooo as always here is the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=WNvXXtCRRFSLA0x9FaRiwQ
> 
> enjoy!

“He didn’t give the context, that fucker” I hit the table. 

 

“calm down, Sayuri”

 

I sigh

 

“What’s the matter?” Kōtaro comes to the dining table.

 

I give him the newspaper. He trails his left hand over his face as he reads the article “Akaashi...” Kōtaro grunts but calms down, eating in silence. 

 

“Let’s go, Sayuri” Kōtaro says as he heads out the main door

 

I nod and follow. 

 

* * *

“Good morning,” Tetsurō says to his receptionist as he arrives at work.

 

“Morning, Bokuto-san”

 

Tetsurō goes inside his office. Half an hour later, his receptionist calls. 

 

“Chief Tanaka-san from the police is here, Bokuto-san”

 

“Let him in”

 

A few moments later, Tanaka enters the office. 

 

“This is not a visit for medical reasons, I assume” Tetsurō rests his chin on his hands. 

 

Tanaka chuckles “Good morning Bokuto”

 

“Did you bring the records?”

 

“Yup,” Tanaka places a folder on the desk “Also, care to explain the news?” He places that page of the newspaper on top of the folder.

 

Tetsurō smirks and explains the whole story.

 

“I mean…I would also be madly enraged if someone did that to my daughter” Tanaka sighs “But you should measure your actions, Bokuto. Especially now that it seems Akaashi is after you.” He advises, leaning on the chair in front of Tetsurō’s desk.

 

“I have nothing to hide but thank you, Tanaka-san” Tetsurō smiles.

 

“Well,” Tanaka stands up “I will be back for the records tomorrow morning.”

 

“Thank you for the help, Tanaka”

 

“And Bokuto,” Tanaka turns his head to face him “the records are not pretty.”

 

Tetsurō nods and Tanaka leaves.

 

After going through all the content of the folder, Tetsurō leans back in his chair.

 

_‘multiple batteries, home invasion, complicity, provocation, negligent homicide…..just who the hell is this kid?’_ Tetsurō thinks as he puts a hand on his forehead.

 

* * *

 

My teammates are staring at me. 

 

“W-what happened to you...Bokuto-san?” some of them say. 

 

I smirk “Fight,” I clap my hands and cross my legs on the bench in front of the pool. “Anyway, due to the current condition, I cannot swim today so I’ll only be coaching.”

 

They nod and get ready for swimming. Of course, giving my wounds the occasional glance. Nonetheless, practice starts. 

 

“Nice strokes, Fukari-kun!” I shout 

“Work on your breathing, Gayashi-kun!” I raise my thumb at my out-of-breath teammate. She raises hers in response. 

“Use your legs more, Midoha-chan!”

“Oi, stop slacking off, Saya-chan, two laps more!”

I whistle for them to switch to backstrokes. 

“Nice tempo, Yumeda-kun!”

“Stretch your arms more, Shiriku-chan!”

 

A few moments later the gym door opens. Eita. “One more lap,” I say to my teammates, standing up and make my way to the door. 

 

“Oi,” I greet him. 

 

The central part of Eita’s face is all bruised, from forehead to chin. His lower lip is busted and he has some scars on his cheek. 

 

“I am sorry, Sayuri” He bows slightly

 

I chuckled “I forgive you”

 

“Eh?” He looks at me in shock

 

“Guess you taught me a lesson” I turn to my teammates to see how they are doing. “And thanks for taking me home. By the way, I didn’t know your dad is a journalist.”

 

“Yeah, for the Sendai Local Newspaper, how do you know?”

 

“Ask him what he wrote on the news today”

 

“Ummm...okay”

 

I nod and start heading back to the pool. 

 

“And Sayuri,” 

 

I turn back

 

“You are a great fighter” Eita raises his thumb

 

I smirk and raise mine back “You too”

 

He leaves the court and I get back to coaching. 

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Lily-chan! What took you so long?” Stella says as I sit next to her on the bench. 

 

“You know, catching up on yesterday’s work” I pat her shoulder. 

 

She sighs “I am so mad at you both. Especially Eita, he fucked up sooo bad. And now look at you, skipping class because you even got knocked out. That was not necessary” She grips the notepad hard. 

 

“Calm now, Stella. I walked in the fight and I mean,” I make her turn to look at me “I’ve been behaving like a bitch for a while so I needed that for a change I guess” I scratch the back of my head, smiling. 

 

Stella grunts “You are all crazy” She crosses her arms and looks away. 

 

“Time out!” Washijō-sensei shouts

 

“At least it seems like you and Tendō are good again” Stella states as Tendō waves at us, walking in our direction. 

 

I scoff “Yeah. But first,” I stare back at Ushijima who is standing on the other side of the court besides Eita “I need to apologize to Ushijima” I stand up and head towards him. 

 

“Ushijima-chan, I am really sorry for everything” I bow

 

He bows back “Thank you for the apology, it calms me down. However,” He grabs Eita’s and my shoulder placing us closer together “You both have really explosive temperaments, disturbing the peace of everyone around here. So please,” He squeezes our shoulder lightly “promise me you won't fight against each other again or against anyone else. But if you must fight someone, fight them, together.” He smiles at us. 

 

Eita and I look at each other and then back at Ushijima. “Thank you” We say in unison. 

 

He let’s go of us and laughs “You guys are basically the same person”.

 

“Ushiii” I hug him “I really am so sorry. Oh my God I thought you were going to hate me for life when you told me to leavee” I move him from side to side

 

“O-oi is fine, calm down” He says nervously, his cheeks blushing slightly as he raises his arms. 

 

“Aah Ushi~ thank you for forgiving me! My, the way you looked at me this morning as if you were going to gut meeee, but is all fine now. I’m forever thankful!~” Eita says hugging Ushijima from the back. 

 

“Bokuto-chan! Compose yourself!” Ushijima says as his body is stiff as a rock and his face is pink. 

 

“U~” I say

“Shi~” Eita says

“Ji~”

“Ma~”

“~chan!  最高のキアプテン！ (Saiko no kiaputen!/ The best captain!)” We say in unison

 

“Oi,  やめてください！ (yametekudasai!/cut it out please!)” His face is crimson red by now. 

 

But we do not let go and start caressing his body with our faces. However, after a while of feeling Stella’s and Tendō’s murderous gazes, we let him go. Ushijima runs to the bathroom covering his nose. 

 

“Bokuto-senpai!” Goshiki runs towards me. “You look so badass with those bruises!” He says, basically jumping side to side. “Especially the one on the neck! Can I see?” 

 

I chuckle and turn my cheek for him to see the deep purple bruise. 

 

“Oh my! That must have been such a knockout.” He looks extremely excited for a minute and then sighs. “Too bad you can’t practice today.”

 

“Hm? Today?” I tilt my head in confusion. 

 

“Tai chi lessons at the dōjo!” 

 

“Oh right,” I caress my chin, “I think I will visit anyway, to observe”

 

“Ooh Bokuto-senpai! So dedicated!” Goshiki smiles

 

I giggle and turn to face the other members of the team. 

 

“Who is up to visit the dōjo tonight?”

 

* * *

At the end of the day, only Goshiki, Eita, Shīrabu, Tendō and I go to the dōjo. 

 

“Hel-“ I stop when I see Hikashikoi-sensei’s mighty, angry figure in front of me which makes me screech a little bit.

 

“So you dare to disobey me and on top of that you have enough courage to show up today and bring visitors” Hikashikoi-sensei grunts but soon enough his face relaxes “I don’t even know if I am more mad than impressed”

 

“H-how do you know?” Me and my friends step in the dōjo. 

 

“Bokuto Tetsurō called me,” He turns his back on us and starts walking “plus I can sense your defeat when I look at you, not that your body does not give it away.”

 

I cough as I feel the insult stab me in the gut. I bow “Yes, sensei” I say quietly as my legs shake. “These are my friends Tendō, Shīrabu, and Bokuto”

 

They tense up as I mention them

 

“T-thank you for having us, Hikashikoi-sensei!” They bow, shaking. 

 

Hikashikoi-sensei smirks and turns back to face us “Thank you for visiting” He bows back slightly, turning around to start walking again. 

 

We follow him through the main hall, turning right to step out in the garden. But before we step out, Hikashikoi-sensei turns around to face us. 

 

“Goshiki-shōnen, may you guide our visitors to the left court? I need to talk to the Bokuto siblings before today’s lesson starts.”

 

We all freeze, but soon enough Goshiki bows and steps out in the left garden with Tendō and Shīrabu. Eita and I follow Hikashikoi-sensei through the right garden.

 

“I am really curious how you, Bokuto Eita-shōnen, were able to not only defeat but knockout Bokuto Sayuri-kun” He starts walking around the fountain. 

 

The warm summer breeze brushes the bushes against each other, waking up the cicadas. The water of the fountain glistens as it runs down in the moonlight which gives the garden a blue cast.

 

“I used to practice boxing back in Tokyo” Eita states. 

 

“Hm...that does not convince me. What could convince me is,” Hikashikoi-sensei walks towards the door of the right court, the one we first fought in. “a little match, that is.”

 

“I don’t think that’s wis—“

 

Eita cuts me off “My pleasure, Hikashikoi-sensei” He walks past me towards the open door. The light inside the court bathes sensei and Eita in a warm light. However, Eita turns back and our owl eyes talk in the dark.

 

*play Visiting Statue by Grimes*

 

_‘Eita, idiot, refuse NOW’_

 

_‘It would all be fine, Sayuri, honestly I want to experience a fight with the renowned Hikashikoi-sensei’_

 

_‘Funny how you think this is sadist but truth is that is going to be painfully masochistic’_

 

_‘We’ll see about that’_

 

_‘Don’t say I did not warn you’_

 

By the end of our little chat, Eita is facing Hikashikoi-sensei in the middle of the court while I am reclining on the back wall.

 

Eita starts jumping around in guarding position, fists up. Hikashikoi-sensei is also jumping but his hands are open. Eita menaces with a kick which ends up in Hikashikoi-sensei grabbing his foot, then his right arm in the attempt to put him down.

 

“That kick seemed like street-fight to me, Bokuto-shōnen”

 

Eita chuckles and punches Hikashikoi-sensei’s side to the grab him by the shoulders and throwing him to the side.

 

“Was that Jujutsu? I can’t tell”

 

Hikashikoi-sensei prevents the fall by supporting his body with his left hand which allows him to quickly rotate on his feet and charge towards Eita. They begin sparring with their arms.

 

Usually when a student begins sparring with Hikashikoi-sensei, they do not last 30 seconds without succumbing to the pressure of sensei’s attacks and falling on the ground. But this was not the case with Eita; they have been sparring for a little over a minute and none of them seemed to me backing down.

 

“Looks like your sensei was merciless, Bokuto-shōnen,” Hikashikoi-sensei says while sparring.

 

“I thank him greatly though,” Eita says as slides to the right and punches sensei’s neck.

 

As he falls on the court, I see an expression of pure astonishment in sensei’s face. Quickly, Eita tries to land on top of sensei but the latter uses his arms to stop Eita from closing in completely. However, Eita manages to get completely on top of him and is able to stay there for a while. But swiftly, Hikashikoi-sensei locks Eita’s abdomen with his legs, and with pure strength is able to throw Eita completely down. Sensei gets on top of him to keep him there for a while until Eita decides is enough, hitting the ground with his right hand.

 

Hikashikoi-sensei gets up and starts jumping around. “You’ve got quite the spunk, Bokuto-shōnen!”

 

“You are absolutely amazing, Hikashikoi-sensei” Eita gets up and bows “Thank you for the match!”

 

Hikashikoi-sensei bows back. They both turn to look at me, finding my startled face. The eyes start talking again.

 

_‘_ 痛い _! (itai!/ouch!)’_

 

_‘I told you!’_

 

_‘Worth it though’_

 

_‘What the fuck?!?’_

 

_‘Is he a God?’_

 

_‘Probably’_

 

Hikashikoi-sensei clears his throat. “Come on, kids. I have a group waiting for me”

 

“Y-yes, Hikashikoi-sensei!” We follow him to the left court.

 

Once we get there, there are fifteen students sitting in five rows of three people who quickly stand up to greet Hikashikoi-sensei. Hinagu giggles as I walk towards one of the walls were Tendō and Shīrabu are, parallel to the second row where Goshiki stands. I squint my eyes at her.

 

“Let’s begin by standing confidently,” Hikashikoi-sensei says as he does this, followed by the students.

 

Sensei starts inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. After a few breaths, sensei separate his legs, shoulder width, and flexes his knees.

 

“Now take your hands,” Hikashikoi-sensei commands as he joins his hands at thigh level “Breathe in and lift your hands up”.

 

After sensei’s hands reach their peak, he breathes out and lets them fall down on each side.

 

“Five times” Sensei informs as he takes his hands to the starting point.

 

After repeating the movement, sensei does neck circles in one direction, his legs standing in the same position of the prior exercise and his hands resting on each side. Sensei switches the direction of the neck circles which then evolves in shoulder circles going forward. 

 

“Remember to breathe deeply,” Sensei says as he switches the shoulder circles backward.

 

Hikashikoi-sensei then starts moving his elbows side to side, twisting his spine slightly. He then relaxes his arms, letting them swing side to side. He stands still again, moments later spreading his legs slightly more than last time. Sensei takes his right hand followed by the left one and starts making outward circles.

 

“When the left hand goes out, breathe in,” Sensei says as he does this slowly. “When the right hand goes out, breathe out” Sensei exhales as his hand goes over his face on it’s way out. Sensei twists his spine as he does these motions.

 

As he finishes circling his left arm, Sensei stands sideways, lifting his left leg and arm in order to balance; putting them back down. He does the same with his right limbs, inhaling when he lifts them up, exhaling as they go back down. 

 

Sensei stands facing the students again, lifting his arms on both sides. In a prayer position, he brings them down to the starting point, lifting them up again. He finishes the motion by moving his stance, facing the right with his right leg in front and hands pushing forward. 

 

“Slowly, spin your body to the left side,” Hikashikoi-sensei says in mid-motion. 

 

When he shifts completely to the left, sensei brings his hands in and then pushes, starting to spin to the left side again.

 

I have been contemplating Sensei’s movements for a while now, but it is not until sense Shīrabu’s undivided attention to Goshiki that makes me pay attention to the students. However, I start focusing more on Shīrabu when he parts his lips, falling into a trance with Goshiki’s movements. It seems like his eyes are not only catching every gesture, but reach even further than his skin, his muscles, his cells. Shīrabu’s eyes are fixated on the very soul that inhabits Goshiki’s body which truly emanates when he practices any kind of sport, but Tai Chi was the exception. 

 

“Oi, Goshiki-kun is really good at this” Tendō says

 

Instinctively, Shīrabu and I shush him. Obviously, Shīrabu because he wanted to enjoy this moment uninterrupted, and I out of pure respect and amazement at Shīrabu’s devotion at the moment. Shīrabu always seemed nonchalant about almost everything. He is a bit too salty sometimes, in all honesty. But I know he deeply cares about his friends behind his passive agressive act. Shīrabu has been particularly hostile towards Goshiki since he is in the team but, right now, it seems like he has completely fallen out of character. 

 

As Goshiki finishes the routine along with Hikashikoi-sensei, lowering his palm through his torso and breathing deeply. As soon as he puts his feet back together and they bow collectively, he turns to look at us with a smile. However, his eyes lock in Shīrabu’s who has been staring at him for the whole lesson which causes the trance to collapse in a violent blush that covers both of their faces. I giggle. 

 

_‘This is too cute’_ I stand up. 

 

“Oh my, look at you~” Hinagu extends her palm, pointing at me as I walk towards her. “The legendary Bokuto Sayuri, painfully defeated.” She grins. 

 

“It was not that bad,” I say as I cross my arms, looking away as soon as I feel my cheeks blushing. “What? Missed me?”

 

“No more than you missed me” She bops my nose with her index finger. I look at her as if I was going to murder her “Come on! Don’t give me that look, I was only checking if it was broooken~” She grins. 

 

I roll my eyes. 

 

“Anyways,” Hinagu now stands serious, arms crossed. “Who did this to you?”

 

I smirk, looking down as I point my thumb back towards Eita.

 

“Eh?” He approaches, taking my hand down “Why are you pointing at me for?” Eita asks as he leans over my neck to see my face.

 

I shrug, getting his neck trapped between my shoulder and ear. Eita winces, “Sayuri,  この野郎 (konoyarou/ you bastard)” He chokingly slurs.

 

I tighten my grip on his neck, eventually letting him go, grabbing his hair with my left hand. I turn to face him. “ この野郎か？野郎が誰であるかを思い出させるために僕が必要か？ (konoyarō ka? Yarō ga darede aruka wo omoidasaseru tameni boku ga hitsuyou ka?/ you bastard? Need me to remind you who the bastard is?)” I grin, pulling his hair.

 

” ひどいよ、姉！ (hidoiyo, ane!/ how cruel, big sister!)” Eita fakes a cry.

 

I hum, letting him go and snapping my neck towards Hinagu. “Saw the bastard?” I laugh.

 

She giggled. “Oh my, is that your half brother, who would have thought he is just as violent!” Hinagu looked amused, her eyes warm with the fire of mischief that lives inside of her.

 

However, before I finished turning completely, I caught a glimpse of her frozen purple eyes, fixated on Eita. The beast inside me eyed her suspiciously, mistrusting if she had no clue on how violent Eita can be. That brief, icy moment gave out that I am the one who has just seen the tip of the iceberg that is Eita’s violence.

 

* * *

_'It happened too fast._

 

_Snowing. The road is slippery._

 

_The car is turned upside down. Bloody arm waving out the window._

 

_“Eita! Eita!”_

 

_I am sorry’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's the deal with Bokuto Eita? 
> 
> see you next week!


	17. きたない刀、力マーニャーナ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Hey Hey!
> 
> chapter name means "Rusty Sword, Power Tomorrow" (pronounced Kitanai Katana, Chikara Mañana which rhymes!) so yeah, kinda went crazy with the name but it fits the chapter! (and the song by Princess Nokia!)
> 
> Okay, so this chapter is technically an EXTRA and it is extremely long, dunno what happened to me there (is basically an entire arc) and the actual word document is 19 pages!!!!
> 
> But it's still fun! I tried to work on the comedy and action part of the story. Here is the playlist link: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=LCU5_c-
> 
> Enjoy!

“Nice work, everyone!” Coach Washijo and Stella dismiss the volley-boys off practice.

 

“I am so tired!” Tendō whines as he falls to his knees.

 

“I just wanna take a long, warm shower” Taichi mutters out of breath

 

“I need meat!” Ōhira and Yamagata shout, dragging their feet out of the gym

 

“Shīrabu-san, wanna practice tosses with me?” Goshiki puts his hands on his sweaty senpai’s shoulder, earning a murderous glance from the latter.

 

“Are you crazy? Leave me alone!” Shīrabu yanks his shoulder off Goshiki’s grasps. “Besides, aren’t you tired?”

 

Goshiki smirks, jumping high “Of course not!”

 

Shīrabu scoffs “Fine, just two tosses, idiot.”

 

“Eh? Please toss more!” Goshiki says as he runs to his desired spot on the court.

 

“Iwaizumi-chan, want a ride home?” Eita scratches the back of his head as he stands in front of Stella.

 

In response, she crosses her arms and turns away.

 

“I will…buy you food?” Eita blushes as he tries to convince her.

 

She opens her eyes with a hint of a smile just to close them again. “Fine,” She says in an annoyed tone.

 

_‘Beautiful dorks’_ I think as I head out the gym.

 

“Where are you heading, Bokuto-chan?” I hear Ushijima’s deep voice following me out of the gym.

 

“Home, of course” I smile at him.

 

“Good” He smiles a little, walking beside me.

We head out of school in silent.

 

“Say, Bokuto-chan, are you free this evening?” He says, looking ahead.

 

“Yeah,” I turn to look at him “Why do you ask?”

 

“I want to go watch this one movie, but even Tendō wasn’t interested.” He explains.

 

“Oya,” I bump my shoulder with his “Is this a date?”

 

“I just don’t want to go alone” Ushijima states with a stern voice which makes me flinch.

 

“Too blunt,” I mutter, crossing my arms “I refuse” I turn my head to face the opposite direction.

 

“Eh? Please, Bokuto-chan?” He says in a slightly nervous tone.

 

“Oh,” I smirk, turning slightly to stare at him from the corner of my left eye “Ushijima Wakatoshi saying please? Interesting.”

 

Ushijima rolls his eyes “I will buy you food”

 

I giggle “Fine,” I start jogging “Let’s go!”

 

He keeps up with me though he is panting “Really, Bokuto? I am tired from practice.”

 

I scoff “If you want me to go to the movies you better keep up!”

 

Ushijima groans “What a drag!”

 

* * *

 

I can say things have gone back to normal during the last couple of weeks. We all eat lunch together again; Stella is not as mad at Eita as she was before; Tendō and I talk lively about shōnen jump magazines again…However, what’s new? Shīrabu being less passive aggressive towards Goshiki, and Ushijima and I hanging out more frequently than before. Oh, and I am able to go back to the dōjo again! Of course, after convincing Hikashikoi-sensei not to ban me forever from the dōjo and my parents that I won’t do reckless things anymore.

 

“Ohayō, Hikashikoi-sensei” I bow, entering the right court where sensei likes to meditate in the morning. 

 

“Ready to catch up, Sayuri-kun?” Sensei smirks, standing up from his lotus stance. 

 

First, we do some sparring in Karate which ends up in me getting defeated sooner than expected by Sensei. 

 

“Excellent! Even though it’s been a while since we have practiced you hold up pretty nice!” Sensei laughs while I lie on the floor, half dead. 

 

“Thank you for the match, sensei~” I mutter. 

 

“Stand up,” Hikashikoi-sensei grabs the neck of my karate suit and holds me up, my feet hanging just above the floor “The day is just starting,”

 

I sob but collect myself and get ready to practice again. 

 

By nine in the morning, a couple of other students arrive at the dōjo. I receive them with Hikashikoi-sensei in the front. We are having a training retreat starting today, Saturday, until Monday evening since it is a holiday. The perfect chance to catch up with almost a month of not practicing. 

 

“My, Bokuto-senpai, is so early and you already look thrashed.” Hinagu chuckles, carrying a duffle bag. 

 

I roll my eyes “Go settle away from my stuff, you lazy piece of shit” I point down the hall, ending with a door that leads to a massive room where we were going to spend the weekend. 

 

Hinagu bows and giggles in response, heading down the hall. 

 

“Ohayō, Bokuto-sama!” Goshiki rushes towards me, his way of addressing me making Hikashikoi-sensei scoff. 

 

“Good morning, Goshiki-kun! How’s everything?” I smile at him.

 

“Wonderful, looking forward to spending the weekend with all of you” He turns towards the entrance, where Hikashikoi-sensei and most of the students were, and bows. He turns back to face me and bows as well. “Also, there is someone I’d like you to meet,” He turns towards the entrance again. “Oi, 西谷 堅陽* hurry up!”

 

“Coming!” A tall, slim guy carrying a few bags answers “You know how dad is, always overpacking.” He says as he leaves his shoes on the entrance and rushes towards us.

 

“Bokuto-san, this is  西谷 (Nishinoya). He is also a first year at our school and practices martial arts here!” He signals the guy.

 

“Nice to meet you, Bokuto-san” Katahi bows and I am able to see his long, brown hair tied in a bun. “And you can call me, Katahi, is fine” 

 

“You too, Katahi-kun” I bow back and giggle. “Um, forgive me for my comment but your long hair reminds me of this Karasuno Volleyball Club ace that my parents played against a couple of times.”

 

Katahi blushes, smiling widely “Yes! Asahi is my father, so is Karasuno’s libero from those days, Nishinoya.”

 

*HIS NAME IS KATAHI ( 堅陽 ) WHICH MEANS RELIABLE SUNSHINE! He has the looks of Asahi but the spirit of Nishinoya. Yes, I had to include Asanoya’s lovechild in this fanfic!!

 

I gasp “That is awesome! Another kid born from two men!” I grab him by the shoulder and start walking down the hall with him, followed by Goshiki. “You do know we are rare, right? But that is so cool! We should reunite our parents someday”

 

Katahi chuckles “Yeah, I only know you and your brother, Bokuto Eita”

 

I roll my eyes and let him go abruptly “He is not my brother”

 

“But I see you guys get along just fine”

 

“Is not that easy, Katah-“ Goshiki warns

 

“If I say no, is no”

 

Katahi scoffs and raises both hands, leaving the bags on the floor “Fine, fine” He chuckles and grabs his bags again “Now if you excuse me…” He keeps walking towards the room to get settled.

 

* * *

After we are all settled, we begin Jujutsu training lead by Hikashikoi-sensei and an adjoining Jujutsu sensei. Since I am rusty, it is a bit hard for me to follow up with more complicated moves with my partner, Katahi.

 

Right now, we are practicing closed guard submissions. Katahi is on my knees in front of me, hands resting on my torso as I have his back locked with my legs. We are both looking at Hikashikoi-sensei for instructions. Following sensei, I spread his arms so Katahi’s hands are resting on the floor.

 

“Oi, do I look hot on top of you like this, Bokuto-san?” Katahi smirks.

 

I smirk back as I raise my right hand to grab his collar of his  柔術着 * (jujutsugi) followed by my left hand going underneath the right arm to grab the other side of his collar therefore performing a cross choke. Holding his neck tightly between my wrists, I pull him in and finish the practice choke.

 

* 着 (gi) means uniform so the kanji before it are the ones referring the martial art they are worn for. i. e. Karate **gi** , Kendo **gi** , Jujutsu **gi.** So yeah, something interesting to know and keep in mind.

 

We practice a few more versions of the cross choke, depending on the scenarios our opponent might counterattack. Moving on to  足三角  (ashi sankaku/ triangle leg locks), movements get more interactive, and Katahi’s comments are starting to get annoying.

 

I grab Katahi’s right arm with both hands to secure him as I swing my right foot towards his left armpit.

 

“You have pretty feet, Bokuto-san” He chuckles

 

“Foot fetish much?” I scoff as I get my left calf to lock his neck.

 

Katahi gets his right arm free. However, I scoot over his left side and, locking his left arm with both legs, get my left foot to touch the floor. As I attempt to distance myself from him, Katahi moves his hips over me but I lock his left thigh with my right forearm, channeling my strength to roll him over my left side.

 

“Take note on Bokuto-kun’s strength, everyone” Hikashikoi-sensei compliments as Katahi impacts the floor.

 

As Katahi lays vulnerable, I, who is basically sitting on his left arm, locks his left hand with both hands.

 

With this last move, Jujutsu practice is done for the day. I stand up, helping Katahi up his feet too.

 

“ いたい！君は本当強いですよねー、木兎さん ! (itai! kimi wa hontō tsuyoi desuyonee, Bokuto-san!/ Ouch! You really are strong, Bokuto-san!)” Katahi says as he scratches his neck and bows.

 

“ ありがとう、堅陽くん。おまえはも素晴らしいでくた！ (arigatou, Katahi-kun. Omae wa mo subarashī dekita/ Thank you, Katahi-kun. You were also wonderful!)” I bow back.

 

“Bokuto-chan you a savageee” Hinagu shouts

 

I arch my neck and stare at her from the corner of my eye. “Begone…”

 

She squints her eyes and Goshiki gets tense beside her.

 

“…thot”

 

“Ayyyy, fire” Katahi winces as he jumps a bit.

 

Hinagu rolls her eyes and leaves the court in laughter. We have a ten-minutes break before Kendo practice anyway.

 

* * *

 

” 木刀摘まんでください (bokutō ha konnani tsumandekudasai/please hold your wooden sword like this)” Hikashikoi-sensei commands as he holds his sword in front of him.

 

We, students, follow up. Hinagu and Katahi, who are standing to my right in formation, snort at the word ‘bokutō’*.

 

*As you will see, Bokuto ( 木兎） and bokutō ( 木刀 ) are pronounced the same but have different meanings. Honestly, I was triggered when researching the japanese word for ‘wooden sword’.

 

_** *play Kitana by Princess Nokia* ** _

 

Our first practice swing consists of Jou-ge buri where we are supposed to lift our bokutō and strike down in the center line of our bodies. Of course, it takes some students a few strikes since they get in tune with Hikashikoi-sensei and other advanced students, like Hinagu.

 

When adding footwork, her movements look even more graceful. Her swings are not tense nor swift but perfectly light. In naname buri, where we lift the bokutō and strike down diagonally, Hinagu alternates the swings from left to right with perfect ease, not hitting the sides of her head like some students do. 

 

Until today, I have never had the chance to share a Kendo practice with Hinagu. She always praises herself for how good she is at Kendo, and seeing her now…I don’t think all of it was bluff.

 

As soon as we finish swing practice, Hinagu turns to me and smirks at my face of awe. We all retrieve by the walls and leave the center empty for voluntary matches. It seems Hinagu can get enough of my surprised expression so she steps in the center. Her opponent is this kid who is a second year in Aoba Johsai.

 

“Rei!” Hikashikoi-sensei commands them to begin.

 

They start jumping around, Hinagu menacing her opponent frequently with a confident smile. But the guy starts swinging seriously though his attacks get blocked by her. Soon enough, Hinagu starts counterattacking, making the guy retreat with every swing. Hinagu seizes the opportunity to make him fall under the force of her swing. The fight ends in Hinagu’s bokutō pressing down the guy's neck who is laying on the floor, sword trying to block the other. The guy chuckles in embarrassment, conscious of his defeat, as Hinagu smirks down at him.

 

“Hinagu, your coordination is great!” Katahi compliments as Hinagu walks towards us.

 

“Can you check my grip, Hinagu-senpai?” Another student says

 

Hinagu just nods, pleased by the comments, but she stands in front of me while I am sitting on the floor.

 

“Congrats” I smile nonchalantly.

 

“Come on Bokuto-senpai, I saw your face” She giggles and offers me her hand “Now, I would love to see that expression when I defeat you. Fancy a match?” Hinagu smiles innocently, but the bloodlust emanates from her.

 

I laugh “I refuse”

 

“Bokuto-senpai is afraid~” Katahi murmurs, giggling.

 

I snap my neck to stare at him deadly, making him wince.

 

“What about you Katahi-kun? Fancy a match?” I say, imitating Hinagu’s voice which makes her grunt.

* * *

” いただきます！ (itadakimasu!/ thanks for the food and effort!)” We say in unison in front of a long table, each one with a bowl of kake soba, wasabi, and onions, tempura and dipping sauce.

 

“Oi Izumi-chan if you are full let me know~,” Katahi says to a student who has not finish her food. And I don’t blame her, Katahi devoured his food when I am just halfway done.

 

Since he is sitting beside me, I slap his hand. “Rude,” I say before taking a mouthful of noodles. Katahi stares at me in pain.

 

However, he turns to his plate as Hinagu, who is sitting across the table, places a piece of tempura in the hungry boy’s bowl. Katahi blushes at such gentle action.

 

“Hinagu is fine, I—“

 

“So caring for someone so rude~” I murmur looking away.

 

They both stare deadly at me.

 

“I wasn’t talking about you, Hinagu-kun. But if you relate…” I grin before taking a bite of my tempura.

 

After we finish eating, we have the rest of the afternoon free but you can always practice on either court if you please. Hinagu, Katahi, Goshiki and I are sitting in the right courtyard. I am having a staring contest with the birds resting on the edge of the fountain.

 

“oooh, are those skills you learned at Tori Cafe?” Hinagu asks as she crawls next to me.

 

I just grin.

 

“Girls, do you want to get some ice cream?” Goshiki asks, sitting on a bench next to Katahi who is on his phone.

 

Hinagu and I snap our necks to face him with sparkly eyes, making the birds fly away. 

 

“So we go, three kōhai and their senpai,” I say as we walk down the street to Sakanoshita Store*

 

** *!!!! **

 

“Shut up” 

“Indeed” 

 

Hinagu and Katahi eye Goshiki for his positive response.

 

Anyway, we arrive at the store and get our ice cream. However, Hinagu decides to drag me around the store as she looks around just to pass the time. On the front, I hear Katahi and Goshiki talking lively about something.

 

“Stop the noise!” An old man shouts, coming out the back of the store. He has grey hair mixed with streaks of blond hair from his youth.

 

I bow down in an apology, yanking Hinagu for her to do the same.

 

“Woah, are you Ukai Keishin?” Katahi rushes to the back.

 

The old man looks at him carefully. “Asahi-kun?” He widens his eyes.

 

Katahi laughs, scraping the back of his head. “I am his son”

 

Ukai smiles but quickly pouts again. “Your father was always collected during high school, you should learn from him”

 

Katahi winces at the comment. “I am also Nishinoya’s son” He laughs nervously 

 

Ukai facepalms “That explains a lot…” He grins.

 

After a while, we head back to the dōjo. Katahi trying to take a bite of my strawberry popsicle. Back in the dōjo, we have a lesson of Tai Chi to wind down before showering and dinner. Hikashikoi-sensei’s wife prepares Korean barbecue for us. I share a service with Katahi, Izumi, the girl Katahi was harassing at lunch, and the guy Hinagu defeated in Kendo. It is basically the hunger games. Katahi and the guy are barely cooking the meat and swallowing it down. I have to act quickly to cook meat for me and Izumi-kun, poor thing does not stand a chance against those two. She passes me her plate for me to give her portions. In the end, I barely ate meat, trying to make up for it with a lot of kimchi and cabbage. After my three companions leave the table, Goshiki seats across me and offers me a plate with a few portions of meat and steamed rice.   


“I’m alright, Goshiki-kun. Enjoy your meal” I refuse, bowing politely. 

  


“I am full Bokuto-senpai. Plus my companions are not eating machines like Katahi.” He places the plate in front of me. “Now, please. You would wake up grumpy if you don’t eat properly”

I giggle and start to eat. 

 

* * *

“Oi, Bokuto-senpai” Hinagu shakes me in my futon next to hers.

 

“What?” I turn to face her in the half-lit room. Apparently, all the girls are asleep right now. Looks like the boys on the other side are also asleep.

 

“I can’t sleep” She giggles.

 

“I noticed” I scoff. I can see it all over her face, especially in those purple eyes whose flame never seems to die. And about that… 

 

“Do you want to head out to the courtyard? Though I think sensei would notice and stop us before we get out of here, you know? Ugh, but I really want fre—“

 

“Hinagu”

 

“Yes?” She asks, excitedly.

 

“Why did get so weird when you met my brother the other day?”

 

Her smile dies out, but she pulls a little smirk not to make too obvious. Still, obvious. After a moment of silence, she lays down on her futon.

 

“Um, hello?” I scoot closer to her.

 

“I don’t know, man. You two look so alike is terrifying.” She replies nonchalantly.

 

I sigh, a part of me sure that is not the true answer. Nevertheless, I scoff and throw myself over her.

 

“Anyway, I saw you and Katahi today~” I bop her nose.

 

Hinagu chuckles. “So?”

 

“I think he likes you”

She scoffs “Good for him then”

 

I roll my eyes “And you like him~”

 

Hinagu blushes a bit and throws me back to my futon. “Shut up”

 

I giggle and get on top of her, closing in on her face. “Or you like your senpai better?~” I purr.

 

“Obviously” Hinagu giggles, grabbing my waist. We get comfy to cuddle.

 

“Fuck this. You are not my type” I crawl out of her futon over to mine.

 

“Stop fighting your feelings for me, senpai!” Hinagu clings to my waist.

 

We spend a few minutes pushing and pulling, being too loud too.

 

“Hinagu and Bokuto, you are helping my wife to cook in the morning.” Hikashikoi-sensei grunts from the other side.

 

We both freeze, cutting the ruckus off and going to sleep in silence.

 

* * *

Hinagu and I are woken up at the crack of dawn by Hikashikoi’s wife to help her cook the breakfast. Katahi contains his laughter as he sees our pathetic faces at breakfast. After our light breakfast, we have Tai Chi training which wakes me up completely. With my energy recovered, Karate training goes smoothly though I deserve the short break since sensei gave us after two consecutive lessons. After the break, sensei asks us to leave the center of the right court empty. 

 

“Today, I want to do the matches differently,” Hikashikoi-sensei explains as he stands in the center of the room. “You are allowed to use any martial art here. Whether you want to match your opponent in their same style is up to you. This allows you to have experience in more casual, real-life scenarios which I really hope none of you end up having,” The students giggle “As always, matches are voluntary,” Sensei walks towards one of the walls, leaving the center open for matches. “You may begin” Sensei sits against the wall.

 

_** *From The Ritz to the Rubble by Arctic Monkeys* ** _

  


After a few matches, most of them being Hinagu’s confident ass in Kendo against the poor souls of our classmates, Goshiki leans closer to me.   


“Do you want to have a match with me, Bokuto-san?” He asks  


“Sure!”

 

After two students leave the center, Goshiki and I step in.   


Goshiki starts flexing with Tai Chi stances, I start shaking up and jumping, awakening my body. I start jumping around him while he just slides as I rotate. For starters, Goshiki has tremendous willpower, and that along Tai Chi make his style really effective. Menacing Goshiki with punches, he keeps his arms on guard until I decide to attack for real which ends up on him moving his torso to the side and locking my arm with his right forearm. In volleyball, he does insane straights and this outstanding control and focus reflect in the way he attacks. On the other hand, I am more spontaneous, my reflex guiding the way of my calculations for the next move. This applies both to volleyball and martial arts.

 

Aiming for his head again, Goshiki rotates his wrist, moving his forearm back to block my other fist. Goshiki seizes the opportunity to counterattack, locking my hand with his right arm and pushing my chest with his left palm. However, I do not give him time to rest and try to aim for his back; but Goshiki is quick, he blocks my hand again and turns to hit my left side with his hand laid flat. Swiftly, Goshiki moves the hand he hit me with towards my elbow, moving my arm over the other side of his head. And with mighty force, Goshiki hits my shoulder hard while he grabs my wrist with his other hand, pushing me down to my knees. I keep myself from falling down with my other hand but Goshiki does not misses another second and grabs both of my sides and flips me over. I am now laying flat on the floor, feeling Hikashikoi-sensei’s knocks on the wooden floor vibrating below the cushions of the fight floor.

 

Nonetheless, I chuckle when Goshiki helps me stand up. He looked so bashful, way different from his confident attitude a few moments ago.

 

“Bokuto-senpai, did I hur—“ He asks nervously.

 

“You were amazing Goshiki-kun, don’t feel bad. I am not made of porcelain.” I chuckle

 

Goshiki looks so accomplished right now, his eyes are sparkling so bright it hurts.

 

Now Katahi and Hinagu step in the dōjo. They do not waste time. As soon as Hikashikoi-sensei tells them to start, Hinagu charges towards Katahi with the intention of tackling him, but the latter holds her hands to prevent so. However, Hinagu, in a masochistic move, throws herself back to the floor, dragging Katahi down with her. As they fall, Hinagu throws him to the side and gets on top of him. A savage, but effective technique. But Katahi escapes this submission, in a similar fashion we practiced yesterday, reaching Hinagu’s neck to choke her and throwing her to the side and this time getting on top. She tries to free herself but Katahi has her pinned down so well. And then I notice something. Katahi is staring at her so hotly that Hinagu, as she struggles, is bright red. 

 

_‘Things are getting steamy here…’_

 

After a while of struggling, Hinagu is able to get a grasp on Katahi’s right wrist and, aid by her legs is able to overpower him. With this move, Katahi’s bun is significantly messed up and a bunch of his long hair is laying on the floor which makes Hinagu’s eyes widen and her grip loosen. Katahi, aware of the charming effect he has on her at the moment, smirks as he grabs her arm and leg to flip her over. And to finish her for sure, Katahi sits on her shoulder and locks her left arm as Hinagu lays flat on the floor.

 

As they stand up, I smirk at Hinagu, teasing her about both her loss and Katahi which makes her roll her eyes at me but blush.

 

After another six matches, the center remains empty for a few minutes, all of us fifteen students staring at each other to inspire some courage into two of us to stand up. Eventually, the tension is broken by this guy who steps up in the center. He is tall and really skinny, giving away a grim aura. The guy is shaking all the time, I suppose his really shy. However, he stares directly into my eyes. Wait. More like my soul with a dark, self-assured aura which makes me flinch.

 

“May I have a match with you, Bokuto-sama?” He asks with a creepy smile.

 

I gulp “S-sure” I stand up slowly, confused.

 

When I stand in front him, I bow and in response, he reaches for his pockets and holds up two daggers in an offering.

 

“Would you fight me with these?” He giggles

 

I am struck by this offer, turning to sensei with a look of disbelief.

 

_‘The fuck is wrong with this guy’_

 

“ これは許されていますか？ (kore wa yurusareteimasu ka?/is this allowed?)” I ask Hikashikoi-sensei.

 

“Of course not!” Sensei scoffs “Arashi-kun, please put those away. You may fight each other either with a shinai or a bokuto”

 

We nod. Arashi-kun puts his daggers away.

 

I opt to use a shinai for this match. However, Arashi is not holding a weapon.

 

“Um, are you sure you don’t want to use a weapon here, Arashi-kun?” I ask him with a worried tone.

 

I response he giggles and extends his arms. “Hit me with all your might, Bokuto-sama~!” He shouts.

 

I hear Katahi containing his laughter and some murmurs from the other students. I just turn towards sensei, pleading with my eyes for an answer. Sensei is containing his laughter with a smirk and simply shrugs.

 

_‘Sadist’_

 

I throw my shinai to the side and push Arashi to the ground. As I turn to sit down again, Arashi tugs the fabric of the uniform’s left leg.

 

_‘Is he seriously smiling?!?’_

 

“No! You have to hit me with the shinai, Bokuto-sama!” He pouts, standing up again.

 

I stare at sensei again.

 

_‘Please take this masochist away!!’_

 

However, sensei is amused by this, so is everyone as I scan the room.

 

_‘You are honestly a bunch of sadists!’_ I think as I grow enraged and frustrated, picking up the shinai and swinging it at Arashi’s side.

 

He is moaning instead of wincing on the floor. Disgusted, I put the shinai away and walk towards where I was sitting. Goshiki is shocked. Katahi looks pretty damn amused and Hinagu looks like she is having the time of her life. I grunt as I take my seat to watch Arashi crawl to where he was sitting, the students next to him looking at him terrified but amused.

 

After the matches, we have lunch. I offered to help sensei’s wife to clear my mind from that fucked up match. Arashi is following me around asking for another match during the lunch break. I drag Izumi-kun and Goshiki with me to Ukai’s store to escape the creep; and because I wanted melon pan.

 

When we come back, we have a brief, collective Kendo training in the left court followed by Hikashikoi-sensei pairing us up for matches.

 

“Bokuto and Hinagu” Sensei announces after a pair walks out of the center.

 

Hinagu’s eyes sparkle and happily stands up with a shinai in her hand. I follow her to the center, bokuto in hand.

 

“Oh my, I have waited so long for this moment” Hinagu giggles.

I roll my eyes “Are you gonna act like Arashi-kun now?”

 

Hinagu chuckles, shaking her head “As if I am going to give you an easy victory” She says sternly, bowing and putting on her _men_ *. She holds her shinai up in her right hand, pointing down.

 

*The face mask of the kendo equipment.

 

“Now that’s more like it” I smirk, bowing back and put my men too. I hold my bokuto above my head with both hands.

 

Hinagu and I have explosive characters though she likes to beat around the bush and I am more straightforward. Swiftly, she approaches me aiming for my side. However, I strike down and my sword meets hers. In a fight of pressure, I push her away, but she charges again sure to strike me. However, I evade her attack by sliding to the side and swing down, hitting her extended arm.

 

We face each other and bow down, concluding the fight. Hinagu smirks at me and walks away.

 

_‘That was close…to think I won by a hair…Hinagu you are good’_ I think as I take a seat.

* * *

 

“Can you come here for a minute, Bokuto-kun?” Hikashikoi-sensei calls me after he dispatches all of the students from Jujutsu to prepare for sleep.

 

“What is it, Sensei?” I walk towards him.

 

“Meet me at the right court in twenty minutes,” He says and walks away, leaving me with a confused expression and a mind full of intrigue.

 

After I take a shower, I put on a clean uniform and present myself at the right court. There, I find Hikashikoi-sensei in front of three stashes of weapons. From Katanas to Maces, the collection is so broad I am kind of scared wondering how much of a sadist sensei is.

 

“Don’t look at me like that, Bokuto-kun” Sensei laughs “For you hard training and change of heart I have sensed in you after the incident with your brother, I wanted to reward you with the opportunity to train with actual weapons every now and then.”

 

My face lights up. 

 

“This is a dream! Thank you so much, sensei!” I bow down. 

 

Sensei bows back and motions me to approach his collection.

 

“What would you use for Tai Chi?” Hikashikoi-sensei asks me as some kind of test question.

 

I pick up a gun (a long, wooden stick).

 

Sensei nods at my selection. “What else?”

 

I pick a Chinese nunchaku, the chain between the sticks being longer than twelve centimeters.

 

Sensei nods, smiling. “Now, what would you use for Karate?”

 

I hum, scanning the weapons until land my eyes on a tanto blade. Picking it up, I draw it out slightly “Since I am not an expert in karate…might as well pick something deadly to compensate,” I say, examining the blade’s sharp edge.

 

Sensei scoffs, face-palming “Oh my, what a logic”

 

I chuckled, putting the blade away.

 

Sensei does not let me pick up a Katana though since he only wants me to practice Kendo either with a Shinai or Bokutō. After we are done, I bow, thanking him for the experience and going to sleep.

 

* * *

Today, the last day of the training retreat followed a similar schedule of the last two days. However, for our last lesson this evening, we are reunited in the right court, leaving the center to Hikashikoi-sensei who is going to explain our next and last activity of this retreat.

 

“During the last two days, I have seen all of you growing in your skills.” He smiles. “So to conclude this weekend of training, I invite you to chose one style of martial arts, the one you feel most confident in, and match me,”

 

Some students gasp. “On easy level,” Katahi adds.

 

Sensei eyes him for a second and turns back to face the front “On _intermediate_ level,” He turns again to face Katahi “And since you talked Katahi-kun, would you mind going first?”

 

Katahi smirks and stands up. “It is an honor, sensei”

 

And so the matches begin. Katahi chooses Jujutsu to face Hikashikoi-sensei and, hardly, wins the match. Hikashikoi-sensei went asking one by one clockwise after Katahi. Another two students win against sensei. Hinagu, who is sitting next to me, stands up next. Poor Goshiki before her was so close to winning to sensei in a Tai Chi match. As expected, Hinagu challenges sensei to a Kendo match and wins rather easily.

 

At last, I am next. Hikashikoi-sensei approaches me and whispers “On advance level with you, Bokuto-kun”

 

_‘Oh my’_ I think as I take a stance, smirking in fake confidence. 

 

I end up using karate since is the martial art I have practiced with sensei at an advanced level the most. And though I do not consider myself to be that good at it, is the one I am most fluid at with sensei which makes it easier to predict his moves.

 

“You went easy on me right at the end, sensei,” I say as I offer him my hand to stand up.

 

“I just wanted to boost your confidence a little, Bokuto-kun” He stands up and giggles “Don’t take it as an insult”

 

I pout “You better go all out next time we practice, sensei”

 

And with this, the fruitful retreat is over. My parents come to pick me up at the dōjo and they meet with Katahi’s parents which ends up in a lengthy conversation. Katahi and I need to start complaining about how tired we are and that is a school night for them to come back to reality.

 

_‘Looks like this is the beginning of more peaceful times’_ I think as I fall asleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you read all of that? I LOVE YOU 
> 
> I am so happy you engaged in reading all of it! do you like the new extremely long chapter style? do you hate it? did it give you a headache? suggestions?  
> please let me know! I would like to hear your thoughts about it! (btw how many of you guys are still reading, and do you listen to the songs? let me love youuu)
> 
> and don't worry, next chapter won't be that long lol
> 
> Take care and see you next week!


	18. Peaceful Worries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey!
> 
> so I have tried something different for this chapter and switched it up for Eita to be our narrator this time!
> 
> also, no music in this chapter
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter (literally wrote the first 5 pages in a little over 30 minutes and that was right after I was done with the previous chapter like wow)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it!

“Good afternoon, Iwaizumi-san” I greet Stella’s mom this Saturday afternoon.

 

“Nice to meet you, Bokuto-kun and please, call me Rose. Come in!” Rose-san invites me to step inside. Stella sure inherited her mother’s beauty. Rose-san is a mid-aged woman with blonde hair and average height but, unlike Stella, she wears glasses over her blue eyes.

 

She tells me to take a sit in their living room and shouts something at Stella in English. Since Sayuri is spending the weekend at the dōjo, Stella invited me over to her house because Sayuri won’t bother us or something like that?

 

I laugh. _‘Silly Stella, your vague excuses are cute’_

 

After a few minutes, Stella walks in the living room.

 

“Hey, Eita-kun!” She hugs me.

 

“Hey!” I am about to hug her back but her father walks in the living room with a wary stare which, to be honest, scares me a bit, making me think better about my actions and just patting her shoulders.

 

Stella pouts at me for my sudden change of action and then turns around to find her father there. As soon as she notices, she blushes in embarrassment.

 

“Hi kids!” Iwaizumi-san smiles and sits down on the couch across to the one Stella and I are sitting on. Iwaizumi-san is a mid-aged man and shares some features of my father Keiji. However, Iwaizumi-san’s body is bulkier than my father’s, the sleeves of the polo he is wearing wrapping his arms in a similar fashion my father Kōtaro’s shirts enfold him. It also looks like Stella inherited her beautiful hazel eyes and smirk from him.

 

“N-nice to meet you Iwaizumi-san!” I stand up abruptly and bow.

 

Iwaizumi-san chuckles and motions me to sit down again.

 

_‘Oh my, this man probably knows all about the recent incidents. Great. He probably thinks I am a troublemaker which I cannot deny I am??’_ I gulp.

 

“Stella here told me that you moved to Sendai a year ago with your father, right?” Iwaizumi-san asks.

 

“Yes, Iwaizumi-san” I nod nervously.

 

“Oh please, you can call me father, son. You are Sayuri’s brother after all” Iwaizumi-san chuckles.

 

I turn to Stella in surprise. She looks back at me, her hazel eyes shouting _‘That’s a good thing!’_

 

“Thank you, father” I reply, a bit unsure.

 

“Did you know I went to the same university as your father Akaashi?”

 

“Really?!” Stella and I say in unison.

 

“Yeah, not the same career though. I studied business! Now that we are talking about college, what are you planning on studying, son?” He says enthusiastically.

 

“Probably law, I am not sure where though…” I say bashfully

 

Iwaizumi-san is about to say something else but Stella’s mom walks in and interrupts him.

 

“Oh, talking about college? Ah, I remember those days. After all is where we met, honey. Now,” She grabs Iwaizumi’s shoulder to make him stand up “let’s leave the kids alone.” She starts dragging him out the living room.

 

Stella is looking at her mom gratefully.

 

“But dear, I—“ Iwaizumi-san is trying to come back to the living room.

 

“You need to help me prepare the dining room. Remember we have a guest!” I overhear Stella’s mom saying in the kitchen.

 

“Oh right, about that—“ Stella says as realization hits her but is interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

 

“Yoohoo, Iwa-chan!” Someone calls from outside.

 

Iwaizumi-san grunts from the kitchen “Do you ever change?” He asks as his steps resonate in the hall.

 

“—a family friend is visiting.” Stella finishes her sentence as I hear Iwaizumi-san opening the door.

 

A few seconds later, a man walks in the living room. “Stella-kun!” The tall man extends his arms and Stella rushes to hug him.

 

“Uncle Oikawa!” Stella shouts happily as he spins her around in his arms. After a few moments, they stop. “Oh, who is this?” The man stares at me and then back at Stella, smirking. “A boyfriend? Attagirl! He is cute!”

 

The comment makes Stella blush, glancing at me apologetically. “He is right there, shittykawa!”

 

The man winces at the nickname. “Ouch, you are too much like your father sometimes, did you know that, Stella-kun?”

 

I chuckle and stand up “Well that’s right, I am her boyfriend,” I say with a smug which soon disappears when I see Iwaizumi-san lurking in the hall with a distasteful look. “Kinda, I guess” I blush, looking away.

 

“Oh, hohohoho and who is this guy who thinks is worthy of my Stella-kun’s love?” The man raises an eyebrow looking down at me.

 

I smirk “Bokuto. Bokuto Eita”

 

“Eh?!” He turns back to Stella “Is he related to Sayuri?”

 

I chuckle at his confusion.

 

“Is her half-brother…” Stella states.

 

The man turns to me again, examining me with his big, brown eyes. “Well, they do look alike…” He smiles “I am Oikawa Tooru. I am Stella’s father childhood friend and I am basically family”

 

I bow “Nice to meet you, Oikawa-san”

 

He bows back.

 

“Oikawa,” Rose-san walks in the living room “I am sorry, but could you wait here for a bit? I am not done setting everything yet…” She explains.

 

“Don’t mind Rose-san! I am actually having a lovely conversation with these two!” Oikawa holds us against each of his sides. Corresponding to his flamboyant personality, he wears a strong cologne which smells really good.

 

One might think he came to the Iwaizumi household to hang out with Stella and I since it’s been two hours and he is settled in the couch across us, engaged in a lively conversation. Well, mostly with Stella but he still pays attention to me…eyeing me in a really bizarre fashion which is making me feel a bit uncomfortable. Eventually Rose-san, who gave up on trying to get Oikawa out of the living room, calls us for dinner.

 

Dinner goes smoothly, we are all engaged in conversation. Stella’s family is really nice, and the evening has been really enjoyable. Especially with the presence of Oikawa-san who every so often makes Iwaizumi-san and Stella be on edge which is super funny. After dinner, we move to the living room and watch a baseball game; but as soon as it is done I say my goodbyes. Stella accompanies me to the door.

 

“I am sorry if they bothered you too much…but I am glad I spent time with you today” Stella blushes, bowing.

 

I laugh “Everything is fine! For real, your family is quite lovely” I pat her head to then caress her cheek “Of course, not as lovely as you” 

 

Leaning down, I kiss her softly. We would have spent more time kissing but Oikawa’s voice interrupts us.

 

“I am leaving too, goodbye Stella—, oh, am I interrupting something?” He grins, leaning on the wall as we look away in embarrassment.

 

“Shut up and leave, shittykawa.” Stella growls.

 

Oikawa winces “Uyy don’t get like that,” He leans closer to Stella, smirking “Unless you want me to turn back and tell Iwa-chan that you were hotly making out with this guy here~,” He says in a low voice.

 

For a moment, Stella looks just like Sayuri as she literally kicks him out of the house. “You are the worst. And goodnight, Eita-kun. Text me when you arrive home safely.”

 

I scoff. “Will do. Goodnight to you too”

 

She closes the door and I start walking away.

 

“Oi, Bokuto-kun~” Oikawa-san calls me.

 

I halt and turn to face him. “Yes?”

 

He is getting in his car. A white convertible. “Do you need a ride?”

 

“Sure, thanks, Oikawa-san,” I say walking towards the car and hopping in the co-pilot seat.

 

On the way home, he glances at me in the same bizarre manner than before which I try to evade by looking out the window. He does not stop anyway.

 

“Say, Oikawa-san…”

 

“Hm? What is it?”

 

“I was thinking about what Iwaizumi-san said earlier about ‘it being too late for you to get a partner’ so…aren’t you married?” I am blushing at the awkward question I just formulated. Why do I ask that anyway?

 

But he takes it rather lightly. I turn to see him as he laughs. “Nah, I spent my youth playing volleyball and could never maintain a long relationship because of my fixation on the sport, and now I am a coach for Japan’s team in Tokyo!” He explains and turns to face me with a perverse grin. “Plus I have always been more of a fling man more than anything else…”

 

I blush and look away to the window. “O-ok”

 

_‘Again with that expression…oh my God’_

 

“Why do you ask, Bokuto-kun? Curious much?”

 

“I was just wondering since you still look rather young and…”

 

“And?~” He purrs. 

 

“…good looking” I bite my inner cheek after realizing what I just said. Honestly, it’s been a while since someone has startled me this much. He is getting me to saying my thoughts out loud and everything…

 

Oikawa grins. “Oh hohohoho. Well, thank you, Bokuto-kun.” I turn to find him eyeing me from top to bottom “you are not that bad either” He smirks.

 

I gulp and force a smile. I mean he is playful like that, right? Soon enough the awkwardness ends and we arrive at my house. I try not to be too obvious, but I literally jump off the car and start walking towards the door.

 

“Bokuto-kun” Oikawa calls me

 

I squint my eyes and turn slowly. “Yes?”

 

“Lend me your phone”

 

Surprisingly, I do. A few instants later, he gives it to me again with his contact on the screen.

 

“Whenever you need something, let me know! We are basically family, after all, right?” He winks at me.

 

“Thank you for the disposition, Oikawa-san. Goodnight” I bow and fly up the stairs, locking myself in before he says another word.

 

Tonight, my mind is too cloudy for me to fall asleep.

 

_‘Is he really hitting on me?’_

 

_‘Of course not, idiot, he is just messing with you. You are with Stella, bastard. Humble the fuck down.’_

 

_‘Yeah…at least is nothing to worry about too much. Nothing like all your problems in the past’_

 

And I rather fall asleep than to think about the past.

 

* * *

“How was the training camp?” I ask as I sit on the homeroom desk in front of Sayuri as she puts her notebooks back on her backpack to leave.

 

“It was good” She turns to face me “What about your day with the Iwaizumi s?” Sayuri smirks. 

 

“Eh? How did know you know?” I exclaim. 

  


“Oh, so you actually went behind my back...” Sayuri shakes her head and reaches for her pocket, taking out her cellphone “Bad Eita!” She lets out an evil laugh as she shows me her phone. 

 

As soon as I read Oikawa’s name in the contact tab, I snatch her phone to read. 

 

及川徹：ヨーホー 小百合くん！昨日、私は美弟エイタくんが合った ( ◠‿◠ ) (Oikawa: yoohoo, Sayuri-kun! kinō, Watashi wa biotōtō Eita-kun ga atta/ yoohoo, Sayuri-kun! Yesterday, I met you charming little brother Eita!)  


自：エへ？ 英太？ まさか。。。ステラ で？ (Me: eh? Eita? Masaka...Stella de?/ eh? Eita? no way...at Stella’s?)  


及川徹：ヲア～！ 英？妙でしょ！ そしてはい (￣▽￣) (Oikawa: woa~! hanabusa? taedesho! soshite hai/ woah! hero? so charming! and yes)*

 

自：だまれ。 (damare./ shut up.)

 

*In Oikawa’s first text he writes Eita’s name in katakana aka as you would hear it which means he does not know how to write Eita’s name with kanji. However, in Sayuri’s first text she writes Eita’s name with the corresponding kanji and Oikawa replies making a fuss about how the first kanji in his name means hero. Cute but weird. 

 

I kept scrolling down for a while with a displeased face at Oikawa’s messages since he literally told Sayuri _everything._ Even explaining in specific detail how Stella and I kissed. Too descriptive, even poetic in a strange way.

 

_‘Creep’_

 

“Give it back!” Sayuri shouts, finally taking her phone out of my hands.

 

“What the hell is his deal?” I ask her, exasperated.

 

“Oi, calm down,” Sayuri places a hand on my shoulder with a soothing gesture but a stern face “Uncle Oikawa is a good person. He genuinely cares for us and you must treat him kindly.”

 

“But—“

 

She squeezes my shoulder and scoffs, staring at the floor now “Be grateful that you are on his good side, I assure you that he is way worse if he didn't like you”

 

“But I mean, even Stella gets annoyed at him” I roll my eyes

 

Sayuri looks up, chuckling and pushes me back “Well of course idiot, it _is_ Uncle Oikawa after all,” She turns towards the door “and now let me be, I have swimming practice,” Sayuri says as she waves her hand, leaving the room.

 

_‘You are annoying too, idiot’_ I scoff, picking my bag up to leave.

* * *

 

“Thank you, Eita,” Keiji says as I lend him the cup of tea.

 

“No problem, dad” I sit on the floor next to his futon to drink my tea.

 

Keiji has been sick this week, working from home. Specifically, his bed; he had a bunch of pictures, notes, newspapers, and the like scattered over his bed and, of course, his laptop in which he types as he sips on his tea.

 

In a mix of curiosity and boredom, I tilt my head to read what he is typing.

 

**‘A POSSIBLE GANG SETTLING IN TOWN’** The headline read.

 

**‘3 MURDERS. 6 MISSING. OUR PRAYERS WITH THE FAMILIES AND OUR EYES BE WARY’** The subtitle read.

 

Already tense, I reach for a bunch of crime scene pictures. Keiji immediately tried to take them away, but I stood up and retreated to the door. Standing in the doorway, I analyzed the gruesome pictures. Pools of blood. Various bullet holes. Their skin with a purple tint. Victims with eyes wide open. Right eyes stabbed with a thin-edged knife, through the skull and out the back of the head. The rare sight of a cleanly stabbed, broken pupil flowing into the iris.

 

I am breathing heavily now, facing my dad who looked terrified. “You shouldn’t be writing about this, Keiji” I hold up the pictures.

 

“Eita calm do—“ 

 

But I throw the pictures on the floor and storm out of the room. I climb down the stairs, rushing pass the living room and sitting down abruptly on the stairs leading to the garden. I am squeezing my face between my hands as to collect my anxiety, my screams.

 

_‘This cannot be…’_

 

Letting my arms fall to the sides, I look up to the two cherry trees. Neither are blooming.

 

_‘They are here.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you guys...but I started running around when I finished writing this.


	19. Tosses and Bubbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!
> 
> this chapter contains songs so as always, here is the playlist! https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=Jdt08btOSNqM4DQdLIFv_g
> 
> this is an EXTREMELY long chapter (28 pages oh my) but I hope you enjoy every single bit of it!

It is weird. Eita usually makes silly faces at me during class and teases me when I answer the teacher’s questions. However, he has not done any of these things today, let alone approach me during breaks. And, on top of that, he looks concerned.

 

I decide to sit on the desk in front of his.

 

“What’s up with the bitter face?” I tease him, slightly pushing his shoulder.

 

He just stares back at me, expression more bitter than before.

 

“Aw, come on,” I shake him a little bit. “I am the one who is always grumpy, are you trying to steal my role?” I smirk.

 

Eita smiles faintly. “No. And why are you all nice now?” He raises an eyebrow.

 

“Guess is a ying-yang kind of thing” I pat his mostly-white hair while I pat my own black hair with my other hand.

 

Eita sighs.

 

“Hey! cheer up! You have an important match tomorrow! And,” I grab his right ear, making him wince “I won’t let you be the setback of the team.”

 

“Ok ok,” Eita frees himself from my grasp “Now go back to your seat. Sawanaka-chan is waiting for hers,” He motions towards where one of our classmates is standing, looking at me expectantly.

 

I stand up “Right, right!” I pat Sawanaka-chan’s shoulder. “I am sorry about that.” 

 

* * *

“We are done for today! Thank you for the hard work!” I say as I get out of the pool.

 

As I am drying myself up, Uwami, the captain of the male swimming team, walks in the gym followed by the other members.

 

“Long time no see, Bokuto-chan” He smiles.

 

I scoff “We are in the same classroom” I finish drying my hair and place the towel around my neck “And you arrived surprisingly early today” I smirk.

 

“Yeah, you know how some of these guys are, pressuring me to come early to have an excuse to see the girls practice” Uwami scratches the back of his head.

 

I roll my eyes. “Who is the idiot?” I snap my head to face the other team members which makes them quiver.

 

“Me” One of the boys raises his arm and steps out front.

 

“Eh?” I stare in shock.

 

It is the same mischievous guy I spent the whole weekend with. Though this time his hair is in a ponytail and he is wearing a swimsuit, showing off his too-ripe-for-a-first-year body.

 

“What are you doing here, Katahi?” I grunt in a mix of surprise and annoyance.

 

“Nice to see you too” He smirks, following his teammates to the pool.

 

I smirk back.

 

_‘You sly bitch’_

 

* * *

牛島若利：こんばんわ。 (Ushijima Wakatoshi: konbanwa./good afternoon.)

自：最近どう？ (Me: saikin dō?/sup?)

 

牛島若利：元気ですか？ (Ushijima Wakatoshi: genkidesuka?/how are you?)

 

自：元気ですよ！君？ (Me: genkidesuyo! kimi?/I’m fine! You?)

 

牛島若利：元気です。 (Ushijima Wakatoshi: genkidesu./I’m fine.)

牛島若利：私はくることが出来ますか？ (watashi wa kuru koto ga dekimasuka?/can i come over?)

 

I frown suspiciously at the last message.

 

自：もちろん。。。 (Me: mochiron…/sure…)

自：でも、なぜか？ (demo,nazeka?/but, why?)

 

牛島若利：ボレーボールの試合たち見よう。。。？ (Ushijima Wakatoshi: bore—ba—ru no shiaitachi miyou…?/Let’s watch volleyball games…?)

牛島若利： ( ￣ ^ ￣ ) ゞ

 

I laugh at his emoticon choice.

自：ハハハハハ (Me: hahahahaha)

自：よし (yoshi/alright)

自： (*´∇ ｀ *)

Twenty minutes later, someone rings the doorbell.

 

“Coming!” I say as I walk out of the kitchen to open the door.

 

There, I find Ushijima fidgeting his fingers. In his blue running shorts and black jersey, he looks nervous and restless, especially after running all the way here. A second later, he stops and smiles at me. I smile back, inviting him to step in.

 

He sits on the living room and turns on the TV as I go back to the kitchen to get some snacks.

 

“Here,” I place a bowl of fruit salad and a bottle of orange juice in front of him.

 

“Thanks,” He turns to look at me as I sit next to him with a bag of chips and a bottle of juice on my hands. “Um, shouldn’t you consider what you eat?”

 

“I’m good” I smile at him, opening the bag. “Unless you want me to eat that delicious fruit salad I made for you~” I smirk.

 

He scoffs, looking away to open the bottle. “No thanks”

 

After a while of watching the match currently unfolding in the screen, Ushijima, who seems to be paying the game undivided attention, starts to talk.

 

“The blockers of the green and black team have splendid skills that make ace from the other team have a hard time spiking but one of their wing spikers acts as a good decoy which makes their setter keep the situation in check. However, the green and black team’s ace spikes’ have excelling force which makes the ball break through the other team’s block which is someth—“

 

“Are you nervous, Ushi-kun?”

 

Ushijima snaps out of his analysis and turns towards me “Sorry, am I bothering you?”

 

I giggle. He sure is nervous. “Not at all, but it is definitively strange to hear you talk so much.”

 

Ushijima smiles, blushing a little bit.

 

“Are you nervous?”

 

“No”

 

“You are” I push his shoulder

 

“No”

 

“So stubborn”

 

After the match ends, Ushijima sits facing me and gives me a lengthy analysis of the match. He sometimes pauses to ask me if I am annoyed but I tell him not to worry and he continues. Honestly, I am not annoyed; I love volleyball and I am used to have my parents talk about it all the time, Uncle Oikawa too. But I am sincerely impressed to see Ushijima express in words his excitement about his greatest love, volleyball.

 

Apparently, he times his review with the break between one match and the next one, turning into his quiet, analytical self again. I sit back, eating my chips and enjoying the game as well.

 

“Oya oya? Watching volleyball?” Tetsurō steps out of his study, walking inside the living room to sit on the other couch.

 

“Good afternoon, Bokuto-san” Ushijima bows towards my dad.

 

Tetsurō bows back “you can always call me father, Ushi-kun, no need for formalities” He grins.

 

“You know Ushi is like that. Plus,” I lean closer to my dad, half-whispering “He is nervous for his match tomorrow~”

 

“Ooh, I see” Tetsurō nods.

 

“I can hear you. And I not nervous”

 

As dad and I snicker in response, Kōtaro enters the house. 

 

“Hey hey hey!” Kōtaro raises both arms as he enters the living room. 

 

“Hi” We reply in unison. 

 

“Well, isn’t this my boy, Ushijima-kun!” He approaches Ushijima, patting his head. 

 

“Nice to see you again, Bokuto-san” Ushijima replies. 

 

Kōtaro freezes for a second, then shaking Ushijima’s shoulder and making space for himself on the couch. “So formal! Loosen up a little, Ushijima-kun” Kōtaro chuckles. 

 

“You know he’s not like that...” Tetsurō and I comment. 

 

Kōtaro glances towards us and, somehow, with signs, we let him know Ushijima has an important game tomorrow. In response, Kōtaro nods, his mouth forming an O of realization. 

 

“Ushi-kun,” Kōtaro pats his back

 

Ushijima looks at my dad. 

 

“Would you like to practice a little more before tomorrow’s match?” Kōtaro proposes. 

 

“Dad, he has to re—“ I get interrupted by Ushijima agreeing. 

 

“Yay!” Tetsurō stands up excitedly. “I’ll be setting the net in the backyard then” He walks towards the back door, stretching “Ah, it’s been a while!”

 

I sigh. 

 

“Oh, and you’ll be receiving, Sayuri-kun” Kōtaro adds as he and Ushijima stand up. 

 

“But—“

 

“But what? You gotta help your friend too!” Kōtaro smiles, shaking Ushijima’s shoulder while the latter nods. 

 

I squint my eyes at them, walking out of the living room towards the backyard to help Tetsurō. 

 

After a while, we begin. Kōtaro is receiving Ushijima’s spikes. Tetsurō is blocking, and I am the setter. A 2-v-2. It is interesting to watch my parents playing together, they indeed have chemistry in various aspects of life. I mean, they met each other because of volleyball, anyway.

 

“Looks like you two haven’t lost your touch” I smirk after being unable to receive Kōtaro’s serve.

 

Kōtaro laughs, touching Tetsurō’s shoulder. “I mean,” He traces Tetsurō’s waist with his hand “We stay in shape, am I right, my love?” Kōtaro grabs his ass as they low-key eye fuck each other.

 

“Yes, honey” Tetsurō smirks.

 

Due to awkwardness, Ushijima looks away, trying to keep a stern face but his widened eyes and slightly, pink cheeks give it away.

 

I roll my eyes and groan, getting their attention. “Are we going to keep practicing, or what?”

 

The three of them shiver and we resume the match. I honestly enjoy playing volleyball with my family, they taught me all I know, after all. Also, my teamwork with Ushijima always has a nice flow which makes this match even more enjoyable. Lately, it has been even more enjoyable since we are closer now, especially after last year incident when I realized who are my true friends. It is rather comforting to have this stable guy stick with the wreck I am.

 

“Let’s call it a day~” Tetsurō is out of breath.

 

“Yeah..” I sit on the grass, sweating.

 

“My stamina is not as good as it was before!” Kōtaro pants, exhausted.

 

“Can’t we practice a little more?” Ushijima proposes, disregarding our exhaustion.

 

“Eh?” The three of us say in unison.

 

“You should rest too, Ushijima-kun,” My parents say in shock.

 

“Freak” I mutter which makes Ushijima roll his eyes at me.

 

I squint my eyes back at him and stand up.

 

“Go home, tomorrow is a big day” I push him out of the backyard.

 

He sighs, turning back to the backyard.

 

“Hey!” I grab his arm and pull him to the hall.

 

“Is this how you treat your guests, Bokuto-chan?” He says sternly.

 

“Father, let’s give Wakatoshi-kun a ride home” I ignore his comment, feeling his irritation.

 

“I’ll be there in a second!” Kōtaro shouts from the backyard.

 

And so it goes, we give Ushijima a ride home. Kōtaro is driving, I am seating on the co-pilot seat and Ushijima on the back. It is a quiet trip.

 

* * *

牛島若利：今日為にありがとう。 (Ushijima Wakatoshi: Kyō tame ni arigatou./Thank you for today.)

自：どういたしまして。 (Me: douitashimashite./You’re welcome.)

自： (  ◠ ‿ ◠ )

自：遅いです。もう寝ろ。 (Osoi desu. Mou nero./It is late. Go to bed.)

牛島若利：あなた、落ち着けて、母 (Ushijima Wakatoshi: anata, ochitsukete, haha/ woah, calm down, mom)

 

I snort.

 

自：おやすみなさい、息子 (oyasuminasai, musuko/ good night, son)

牛島若利： (_  _). ｡ o ○

* * *

 

***play Bibimbap by TOKiMONSTA***

 

“Ushijima-kun breaks through a 3-man block!”

 

The crowd roars at our ace’s display of strength.

 

“Woah, Ushijima-senpai is amazing!” Katahi shakes my shoulder.

 

“Yeah yeah, it is impressive how they are keeping up with Tohoku University’s team” I sip on watermelon juice as I sit down after cheering.

 

I am sitting in the middle of the hyped crowd of our school. All my boys are in the court playing fiercely against their rival.

 

As Eita jumps to execute a clean serve, I notice Stella’s radiant smile in her spot next to Washijō and Saitō-sensei. She is so entranced by Eita’s time in court that does not hears when Saitō-sensei talks to her about managing the sport drinks—or something like that, from what I can see from afar. When she snaps out of it, her expression is so adorable, making me scoff at her.

 

It is honestly impressive how many times Shīrabu is tossing to Eita since he mostly tosses to Ushijima. Eita’s effective spikes and concise follow-ups piss me off.

 

“Bokuto-senpai’s plays are nice…” Katahi touches his chin.

 

I recline on my seat, puffing; arms crossed. “No shit”

 

“Then why do you look at the court as if he was slacking off?”

 

I snap my neck towards Katahi, squinting my eyes.

 

“You know why, idiot”

 

He is staring at me, staggered until the crowd stands up to cheer for Ōhira, seizing the opportunity to escape the situation.

 

Tendō blocking skills are optimal, as always. But it is not until he blocks one of wing spiker plays continuously when the latter has such a—as Tendō might be thinking—exquisite face of frustration which makes him dance in joy. And of course, sing his signature little song. I know it because, first, I don’t think he knows any other song, and second, I have seen the sillyhead practice his choreography too many times that is not okay anymore.

 

After they have won the first set, I notice Shirabu lecturing Goshiki. Probably about how he is going to toss to him, and that he better not mess it up—my assumption based on Goshiki’s happy expression and violent nodding. I also notice how Shīrabu is getting a bit flustered by Goshiki’s reaction.

 

I grow anxious as the second set goes on, Tohoku’s team is not backing down. I feel like they were only warming up during the first set because their current tactic is too different now. By the time the team meets the 15 point mark, Yamagata is barely getting a grip on their spikes. But once he is able to defend our side of the court, we are able to get on a streak. Unfortunately, our team does not break through and Tohoku ends up winning the second set.

 

The crowd is tense, our team looks weary. However, our school crowd stands up.

 

“Here we go…” I mutter as I sink into my seat.

 

They start chanting, really loud, the anthem of our school. In all honesty, it annoys me, but it seems to cheer up my boys just fine. That and also seeing how anxious the rival team gets at this display of support and dedication.

 

And the third set starts with the boys refreshed. They act quick, precise, no time for a second thought. It is usually Goshiki that has intense, fiery eyes but I can see the whole team wearing the same expression. Tohoku’s ace is still giving them a lot of trouble but they don’t let their guard down. Kawanishi acting as a decoy seems to be working, exasperating the blockers and all that. Neither team is backing down. It is break after break; the crowd is roaring. I am standing up now, rooting for my friends.

 

“Oh, so you care now” Katahi smirks.

 

“Shhh,” I say, not wanting to be disturbed since I am so into the game right now.

 

We’ve got the lead! Tohoku’s libero receives Eita’s float serve and the setter prepares to make the last connection.

 

_BAM!_

 

Spot-on, Tendō slams the ball down with a mighty block.

 

The crowd gets so wild but I don’t care, I am so happy for them! I leave the crowd as soon as I can to meet them in the lower level.

 

“That was such a savage move, you bitch!” I embrace Tendō as the team goes out of the gym.

 

“You know how it is, you gotta do what you gotta do” He chuckles, patting my head.

 

“Bokuto-senpai!” Goshiki ran towards me, pushing Tendō away which made the latter squint his eyes at the young spiker. “Did you see my straights? Weren’t they awesome?” He asks excited, clenching his fists, jumping in expectancy.

 

“Yes! They were amazing! Thanks for the good work” I giggle, bowing in gratitude. Iraise my head again and see Ushijima walking out the court. “What do you think about Goshiki’s straights, Ushijima-kun?” I smirk.

 

“They were efficient” He comments, making Goshiki sparkle in realization.

 

“Thanks, Ushijima-san!” Goshiki bows dramatically.

 

“They lacked strength though.” Ushijima adds, making the fiery ball of energy tremble.

 

“Y-yes…” Goshiki mutters, walking away.

 

I sigh, patting Ushijima’s shoulder “Too blunt”

 

“Thanks for yesterday’s training,” Ushijima says, ignoring my comment.

 

“Yeah, you did great” I smile

 

“What about me?” Eita smirks, approaching me with Stella by his side.

 

I open my arms for Stella to come closer and we hug each other. “Baby! You are such an amazing manager, what would the team do without you?”

 

Stella giggles “I don’t know, honestly if it weren’t for my strong pep talks they would be screwed,”

 

“I agree” Ōhira raises his hand and the others nod.

 

“Um okay, keep ignoring me I guess” Eita rolls his eyes.

 

“Thanks for the hard work, guys!” Yamagata shouts as he walks around, patting everyone's shoulders.

 

“Why are you so excited though?” Shīrabu and Kawanishi ask, squinting their eyes and drinking from their bottles.

 

“I have an announcement to make!” He points at himself and all side conversations cease, all of us paying attention to him. “I made a bet with my parents. If we lost, this would be a regular weekend. If we won…” He smirks at us.

 

“Speak, goddamnit!” Stella grunts, hitting his arm.

 

“Ouch! okay fine” Yamagata rubs his arm, facing us again. “If we won, they would let me invite you to my family’s cabin!”

 

“WOAH!”

“nice”

“so cool”

“Thank you, Yamagata-senpai!”

 

Yamagata grins. “Well, right now it is…” He checks the clock on his wrist “14:45 so what about we meet at my house around 17:00?”

 

We all nod, but some of the members already have plans so they have to refuse. Saying thanks once again, we disperse to go home and pack. Since we live close by, Ōhira gives me a ride home. I text my parents this weekend plans on my way home. When we arrive, my parents go outside the house to talk to Ōhira about going to Yamagata’s cabin too. Ōhira offers to pick me up again to go to Yamagata’s, but Kōtaro says there’s no need for that and offers to pick up Ōhira on the way to Yamagata’s. 

 

“Good afternoon, Yamagata-san” Ōhira and I bow as Yamagata’s mother meet us at the door. “Thank you for this trip”

 

She giggles and bows “Oh don’t mind, you guys deserve it, please come in”

 

We follow her to the living room where Tendō, Goshiki, Shīrabu and Kawanishi are waiting.

 

“So you guys are early too” I drop my bag where theirs are and sit next to Tendō.

 

“Yup” They nod.

 

After a few minutes talking, Yamagata appears from the kitchen, carrying two bags of chips and chewing some himself.

 

“Have something to eat!” He says between munches, giving Goshiki and Shīrabu the chips so they share.

 

“Um, are we eating junk food for the weekend?” Shīrabu asks.

 

“Mmyeah, pretty much” Yamagata replies.

 

Some of us wince.

 

“Nah, I am kidding, Eita and Stella are at the supermarket doing the shopping.” Yamagata explains.

 

“Ushijima is picking up the van at school” Ōhira announces, looking up from his phone.

 

“So we are missing those three…” Goshiki reviews

 

“Ok,” I stand up “Do you have any fruit?” I ask Yamagata.

 

“Yup, right this way.” We walk in the kitchen.

 

I help Yamagata’s mom prepare two platters of snacks for the road while Yamagata is looking for more bag of chips and cookies. By 16:45, Ushijima arrives in the van. The boys start putting the bags in the trunk. A few moments later, Eita and Stella arrive with all the goods. I stalk from the kitchen window and notice that Akaashi is driving them so I decide not to go out until he leaves. We are all ready to go by 17:15.

 

The time between Yamagata’s house to the cabin is a bit over an hour and a half. Ushijima drives. Yamagata is the copilot. In the second row, Ōhira, Goshiki and Tendō are sitting together. Third row, Kawanishi besides the window, Shīrabu in the middle and Eita on the other side. Stella and I are sitting on the last row, listening to music and reading. At least for the first thirty minutes since Eita decided to turn around and interrupt. So intense, even Stella got mad. To calm us down, Tendō started singing which only ended up in collective annoyance. Eventually, we all start snacking which effectively shut us up; just music on the radio, munching and a ‘can you pass me this or that’ every now and then. After being silent for a while, Yamagata, Tendō and Eita start singing along to the songs playing on the radio. Me and the others start singing.

 

“Can you shut up Goshiki? You suck at singing songs in English” Shīrabu comments when Goshiki gets hyped up singing the chorus.

 

“Rude!” Goshiki says and continues singing, lower this time.

 

When we officially enter Mt. Izumigatake, we start talking about what we are going to do when we arrive. As soon as Ushijima parks in the driveway, we all hop off the van, except for Ōhira who fell asleep who Eita, along with Goshiki, are trying to wake him up; the rest of us are getting what we brought off the trunk.

 

“Welcome to my humble adobe” Yamagata opens the door and invites us to step in.

 

“Um…I think it is too lavish to be humble” Tendō scratches his left cheek at he looks at the ceiling adorned fancy, contemporary LED lighting which makes the wood near it glow in a warm, honey color.

 

We all nod and look around. The living room is huge, soft blankets draping the three sofas, an exquisite selection of ornaments sitting on top of a low wooden table, and a curved, colossal TV. The kitchen countertops are made of white marble and the rest is wood. There is a modest dining table separating the kitchen and living room; modest if it wasn't for the flashy, contemporary metal sculpture sitting on the middle of the table.

 

_‘Yeah…I need to make Tetsurō take some advice from Yamagata’s mother’_ I think, remembering that his mother is actually an interior designer.

 

Ōhira, Eita and Goshiki also enter the house and join the rest of us in our trance.

 

“Um, guys. You all live in amazing, big houses so…calm down” Yamagata scratches the back of his head, embarrassed at the sight of all his friends looking around in amazement.

 

“Not all of us have a big cabin in the woods, you know?” Stella says, grabbing her bag “Anyway, where are the rooms?”

 

“Right, follow me!” Yamagata motions for us to follow him through a hall. He slides the first door to the right. 

 

The room has a king bed resting atop a dark, wooden board with beautiful, round lamps on each side of the bed. Additionally, it has plants on the two night tables on each side of the bed, and two single couches.

 

“okay, so this one has a bathroom included and is the bigger one so I propose thre—“

 

Yamagata is interrupted by Goshiki rushing inside and Stella throwing her bags next to the bed.

 

“I am staying here,” They both say in unison.

 

“Um no, you guys are not going to sleep on a same bed together so BET! Besides, I am your senpai so no, Goshiki-kun.”

 

***play Naive by The Kooks***

 

Goshiki bows, embarrassed.

 

“No chill…” Shīrabu and I mumble.

 

“Well, I didn’t know you owned this place…” Yamagata laughs, with a hint of irritation though. “But yeah, the ladies can stay here” He turns to face me.

 

Surprised, I bow, dropping my bags next to the bed as well.

 

The next room, not as fancy as the previous one, has a queen bed and a bunk bed next to the wall. Additionally, it has a big desk with multiples drawers and cool prints on the wall.

 

“I want the bed on top!” Goshiki says in a rush.

 

“Um no, I want that one” Shīrabu says, approaching the bunk.

 

However, Goshiki runs to the bunk and climbs the stairs, placing his bag on top. Shīrabu growls at him.

 

“Try me” Shīrabu snarls.

 

Goshiki climbs down and takes a defensive stance, hands on both sides and shifting his weight on both feet “If you up for that, senpai”

 

“Ok ok,” Tendō steps between them, hugging them on both sides. “I will stay with these two…” He giggles, worried about both of his kohai’s deadly stares.

 

“Yeah, actually,” Yamagata turns around and counts all of us “someone else has to sleep here”

 

“Eita will be!” Tendō exclaims.

 

“Eh?” Eita sneers “why me?”

 

“Cause it will be fun!” Tendō looks around, meeting Stella’s deadly stare “oh my God, cute Iwaizumi-chan, stop making such scary faces I swear I won’t do anything to him” He grins nervously 

 

“Pfft, of course not” Eita places his bag on the floor. “because I am sleeping on the floor”

 

“Rude!” Tendō sobs.

 

When we arrive at the last room, we all gasp. It seemed to be bigger than the one Stella chose with a king size bed on top of a lighter wooden board with night tables and beautiful ceramic ornaments. Additionally, the other side of room is rather large, decorated with cushions and a low table with a tea set.

 

“Why did you lie, Yamagata…” Stella growls.

 

“Because,” He scoffs “I want the nicer things”

 

Stella chuckles, motioning her hand up and down “right right, I like the other room better anyway…” Though she is smiling, there is a hint of irritation in her voice.

 

“Really? Then…” Yamagata walks towards the paneled wall which turns out to have a sliding door, revealing a nice terrace behind him “How about now?”

 

“Eh?” The rest of us exclaim

“Another huge tv?”

“The sofas are so unique!”

“Is that…a hot tub?!”

 

Stella’s face goes blank

 

“You broke her spirit, Yamagata-kun…” Tendō pats Stella’s head

 

“So mean…” Eita and Kawanishi tick their tongues.

 

The rest of us shake our heads.

 

“Don’t gang up on me, guys…I am the shortest one here”

 

“Iwaizumi-chan is shorter than you!” We growl at Yamagata.

 

“Ouch ouch, okay” He approaches Stella, grabbing her hands “would you forgive, Stella-chan?” He smiles at her.

 

She giggles, a bit hurt still but forgives him nonetheless.

 

I chuckle quietly and turn to Eita who is standing next to me.

 

“Why is this bastard calling her Stella-chan? I am the only one that her like that…” He mumbles, almost inaudibly.

 

I clear my throat “and Sayuri-sama…”

 

“…and Sayuri-sama” He repeats before snapping out of it, turning to me “wait, what?”

 

“Anyway! I propose we get in the hot tub now! I’ll be setting it up!” Yamagata steps out of the room to the terrace.

 

We all nod and scatter to get our bags and change.

 

“I’ll get the snacks!” I announce 

 

“Me too!” Stella says

 

In our room, I let Stella change first. A few moments later, she comes out the bathroom with a modest, electric blue bikini.

 

“Can you help me tie the back, Lily-chan?”

 

I nod and she turns her back to me.

 

“Say, Stella-chan…” I start tying the top part.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Don’t you think it is curious how, after all these months, one can start picking the tension between Eita and Yamagata?”

 

When I finish the bow, she turns to face me “Is their any tension? I can’t tell” She says with a clueless face.

 

I click my tongue “you are unbelievable…” I turn to pick my swimsuit and get in the bathroom.

 

“W-wait, what do you mean, Lily-chan?” Stella tries to reach the door but I close it before she can.

 

“We’ll talk about it some other time,” I say as I take off my shirt.

 

She chuckles, walking away “pfft, okay”

 

I roll my eyes.

 

_‘Of course, you know the wreck you are causing…sometimes I think she’s Uncle Oikawa’s daughter instead of Uncle Iwaizumi’s…’_ I think as I slip in my swimsuit.

 

Soon after, I walk out the room and join Stella in the kitchen, sorting the snacks.

 

Hearing a whistle, she and I look up, meeting Tendō astounded gaze. “I truly am blessed, two beauties in swimsuits preparing my food.”

 

“Get lost.” We both snarl.

 

“And fierce too…”

 

Stella smiles, holding a knife up “hell yeah…wanna try?” She smirks at him.

 

“No thanks!” He shakes his hands nervously, walking away.

 

Stella is still teasing him though, walking out behind the kitchen counter and in front of it to get closer to Tendō. Her act is so good, Tendō is sweating and the expression on her face is more scary than most of Tendō’s expressions!

 

“Why is Tendō squeaking more than usual?” Eita walks in the kitchen.

 

In the blink of an eye, Stella puts the knife on the counter and faces Eita with a radiant smile “Eita-kun! Oh, you know, Tendō is astonished with my beauty but don’t worry about it! Here,” She rest his arm on Eita’s shoulder “have a cookie” She holds a chocolate chip cookie to his lips which he gladly takes a bite from.

 

Tendō and I gasp, holding our hands over the counter. “ ちょうど今、ステラが悪魔から天使行った。。。 (chōdo ima, Stella ga akuma kara tenshī itta…/Stella went from demon to angel just now…” We say in unison, terrified.

 

When the shock wears down, I keep placing grapes on the platter Stella and I prepared.

 

“That swimsuit looks really nice on you, Bokuto-chan” Tendō rest his elbows on the counter, observing me.

 

“Stop peeking, you perv” I blush, covering my chest, exposed because of the prolonged V cut of my one piece, white swimsuit.

 

“Uyy” He blushes “I just really like that swimsuit, okay?”

 

“Right, right” I step out the kitchen “now stop staring and carry that platter outside” I walk towards the door leading to the terrace “and you two, lovebirds, move your PDA where I can keep a check on you”

 

They blush but follow. 

 

“Okay, mom” Eita rolls his eyes.

 

Outside, Ōhira and Goshiki are already inside the hot tub. Shīrabu is testing the water before going in.

 

“Come on, Shīrabu-senpai! The water is warm already!” Goshiki assures.

 

“I think I’ll wait a little more…” Shīrabu says with half of his right hand underwater.

 

As Shīrabu turns back, Goshiki gushes water onto his back. Shirabu snaps his neck to face him, so furiously I take a step back though I am not too close to him.

 

“Come here you little brat!” Shīrabu tries to grasp Goshiki’s shoulders without falling into the water.

 

Instead, Goshiki yanks both of Shīrabu’s arms, making him fall. Shīrabu’s head lands on Goshiki’s chest.

 

“You should relax, Shīrabu-san” Goshiki giggles, pouring water on Shīrabu’s hair who is staring at him with a murderous look. 

 

Shīrabu tries to strangle him, but Goshiki locks his wrists, leaving him unable to hurt him.

 

“Shīrabu-san…”

 

“What?” He snarls.

 

“Something is poking me…” Goshiki giggles, blushing.

 

Shīrabu’s enraged face goes blank for a second, only to get more frenetic “That’s because the water is still too cold, idiot!” He struggles to kick the first year.

 

“Oi oi, cut it out you two!” Ōhira separates the two guys who are still arguing over the third year shoulders.

 

Kawanishi steps in the hot tub as if nothing is happening. 

 

“Here are the snacks!” I announce as Tendō places the platter on a table near the tub.

 

“Thank you!” Kawanishi says as he reaches for some grapes with his left arm.

 

“Oi, Kawanishi, can you please pass me some ham and crackers?” Goshiki asks

 

“Don’t give him anything” Shīrabu rolls his eyes.

 

“Hey!”

 

Stella and Eita roll their eyes but get in the hot tub nonetheless. After taking an apple, Tendō goes in too. I sit outside for a bit, chatting and eating cookies.

 

“Oh, I forgot the drinks!” I stand up.

 

“I’ll go with you!” Tendō says, standing up.

 

“I’ll take care of it!” I turn towards the kitchen door.

 

Since I am going too fast and looking down, I fail to see Ushijima and bump into him. Instinctively, I grab his arms in order to not lose my balance.

 

“Sorry!” I walk past him to resume my path.

 

“Need help with something?” He asks

 

“Nah, I’m good, I simply forgot the drinks”

 

Ushijima follows me to the kitchen nonetheless. I am take a double litter of soda out of the fridge and he immediately takes it in his hands “Ushijima, I can do it on my own”

 

“I don’t think you can carry three of these plus a jar of water” He notes

 

I cough “so blunt…”

 

He smiles at me, mouth closed.

 

“But…” I crouch, wrapping his waist with both arms in order to carry him on my shoulder “I can carry you” I puff

 

“Let me go bef—“

 

As soon as I stand straight again, my knees fail and I succumb to the weight.

 

“we fall…” Ushijima sighs, his thighs are touching my face.

 

Swiftly, he stands up and lends me a hand. I see his eyes deviate from my eyes to my chest. I instinctively cover myself. He blushes and looks away.

 

“I-i didn’t mean t—“ He takes a step back, slipping with the bottle of soda laying on the floor and falling on top of me.

 

“Ouch…” I say when his chin hits my forehead.

 

But then I inhale, his scent is citrusy—wait, no, more like strawberry, maybe a mixture of berries and tangerine. His shirt is slightly warm, a layer guarding me from the hot warmth of my friend’s body. He lifts his arms to the sides, cutting all contact from each other. Ushijima looks down to my eyes, I lift my gaze to meet his. Now that I can observe them closely, his eyes resemble mine—and the ones of my relatives of course, but his shares that hint of sternness that tell mine apart from my father and Eita. Though Ushijima’s have this faint, lime green coat on the irises.

 

The mutual analysis dissipates with the coming of steps.

 

“Ushijima! I have heard of wall kabedon but floor kabedon?! that’s another level!” Yamagata comments, grabbing a bag of chips.

 

Ushijima’s cheeks flush red when Yamagata says this. I shriek in embarrassment, pushing Ushijima over to the side and standing up.

 

Yamagata giggles, blushing “I mean, Bokuto-chan looks like an angel but you have to control yourself man”

 

“It was an accident” Ushijima stands up

 

I giggle, walking towards Yamagata. “Now,” I grab his hair “you two carry the drinks outside, bastards” I face them with a devilish grin.

 

While they set the drinks, cups and ice on the table, I step in the hot tub, sitting between Tendō and Ōhira. Ushijima follows shortly.

“Let’s liven things up~” Yamagata connects his phone to a set of speakers.

 

***play crush’n by Biig Piig***

 

Yamagata gets in the hot tub, sitting between Ushijima and Ōhira. 

 

“So,” He places his arms on the two bulky guys shoulders. “What about we play truth or dare?” Yamagata smirks

 

“Oh, nononono” Tendō shakes his hand in front of him, splashing a bit of water to me and Stella sitting beside him. “We are here to chill~” He drags the L for a while, making Shīrabu and Kawanishi stare at him weird. “Let’s play would you rather instead!”

 

We all nod, except Yamagata who just gasps

 

“Wow guys, I bring you here and you don’t even want to play my games” Yamagata shakes his head. 

 

“Consider we had a game today, personally, I prefer not moving around right now” Shīrabu comments, fixing his hair. 

 

“We just had a roadtrip!” Yamagata grunts but then chuckles “whatever, I also feel like resting”

 

“Then why do you act out?” Stella giggles

 

Yamagata rolls his eyes. 

 

Tendō looks back and forth between them and then claps his hands to break the silence. “Anyway! Kawanishi-kun,”

 

“Yes?” He turns his head to face Tendō as he reaches for some crackers. 

 

“Would you rather have Bokuto or Shīrabu toss to you?” Tendō starts the thread, pointing at Shīrabu and Eita. 

 

“Shīrabu,” He reincorporates and eats. “Bokuto-san is not that comprehensive”

 

“Ouch...” Tendō says, looking at Eita

 

“You have not let me toss to you that much, Kawanishi! Please let me give you good tosses!” Eita says between fake yelps. 

 

Kawanishi smiles. “Anyway, Bokuto”

 

I look back at Kawanishi “Yes?”

 

“Would you rather have Ushijima preparing you his signature salad or having a steamy night with Goshiki?”

 

“Kawanishi!” Goshiki turns red and splashes water onto the tall boy, also damping his crackers which makes him grunt. 

“Oooh, this is getting spicy” Yamagata smirks. 

 

I chuckled “Oh my God, um....” I touch my heated cheeks in surprise “Ushijima’s salads are really good but I can’t let an opportunity to see my innocent kōhai like that pass”

 

Tendō gasps as Stella splashes water all over the place. The others are either startled or laughing like crazy. 

 

“Bokuto-san you are too much for me, I can’t!” Goshiki shouts and then covers his face that is so red he could explode. 

 

“Oya? Nosebleed much?” Shīrabu teases him.

 

“Shut up!” Goshiki splashes water onto the second year who reacts by pulling Goshiki’s hair. 

 

“Moving on!” I giggle, my cheeks still red “Ōhira,”

 

He nods at me

 

“Would you rather eat gyudon for the rest of your life or have Tendō wake you with your favorite song and a kiss?”

 

Some of them facepalm. Tendō giggles. 

 

“That’s a lame one, Lily-chan” Stella notes

“Hey!”

 

Ōhira chuckles “but I don’t like gyudon that much!”

 

“What?” Yamagata says

“But gyudon is so good!” Goshiki shouts

“Um...why the fuck, Ōhira?” Eita chuckles

 

“Anyway! I guess Tendō waking me up is a lighter torture” Ōhira states

 

Tendō pouts “um, my singing is good so what are you saying?”

 

Ōhira chuckles nervously. “Ushijima”

 

“Yes,” He looks up to Ōhira from his watermelon wedge. 

 

“Would you rather enroll for jujutsu classes at the dōjo and get your ass served by Sayuri, or be Eita’s punching bag whenever he gets scolded by Washijo-sensei?”

 

“Uh-oh...he gets scolded a lot...” Tendō giggles, looking at Eita. 

 

“Come on, you are painting me as a bitch who has anger issues in that scenario, Ōhira” Eita rolls his eyes. 

 

“Nevertheless, he’s brutal” I assert 

 

The others are smirking. 

 

“I rather get beaten by Sayuri. It wouldn’t be too often and her attacks are merciful”

 

They all laugh, somewhat nervously. 

 

“You think I’m not strong enough to make you suffer, Ushi!?” I stand up waving my fist at him. 

 

Tendō grabs my waist to make me sit again. “My, my Wakatoshi! You have clearly never experienced Sayuri’s might”

 

“Tell me about it...” Eita and Goshiki mutter, almost inaudible, their words mixing with the bubbling of the tub. 

 

Ushijima slightly smiles at me, but I pout and look away. 

 

“Iwaizumi Stella”

 

“Uy, so stern, but what’s up?” Stella smiles

 

“Would you rather have a threesome with two semi-attractive guys or have sex with one really hot guy?”

 

“We going spicy again!” Yamagata laughs

"So unexpected!" Ōhira comments

 

“He means a threesome with Yamagata and Eita or have sex with me, Iwaizumi-kun” Tendō pats her head

 

Shīrabu coughs violently so do Ōhira and Goshiki. Yamagata and Eita just look down, their cheeks flushed red. I am about to hit Tendō for being such a savage but Stella laughs. 

 

“I rather have sex with one really hot guy, that only being a male version of me” Stella answers, with the best smug face I have ever seen her pull off. 

 

I can’t help but laugh at the guys’ faces, especially Eita’s. 

 

And we continue to play for a bit longer, meaning until the snacks run out. 

 

When Stella and I go back to our room, she falls on her back on the bed. 

 

“Ushijima can be a bitch sometimes, you know?” She grunts

 

“And Tendō,” We say in unison, giggling afterwards. 

 

“You slayed though” I comment, sitting next to her and patting her head. 

 

“It was fair and necessary”

 

“But,” I lay across her belly, making Stella wince slightly “did you notice the tension between Yamagata and Eita? Like you are killing them, girl!”

 

I look up at Stella to find her blushing. “Ohoho, so you are still torn about them?” 

 

“Of course not!” She pushes me away and sits up. 

 

“Yes you are”

 

“I’m not”

 

“Yes you are” 

 

“I’m not”

 

We stay there for a moment, scrutinizing each other. I scoff and stand up. 

 

“Ok honey, whatever you say. I’ll take a shower, remember we are helping Eita with dinner” I grab my towel and get in the bathroom. 

 

* * *

Yamagata, Ōhira, Kawanishi and Ushijima go to get wood for the bonfire as Stella, Eita and I prepare curry rice with steamed vegetables.

 

“Oi, can you stop it?” I scrutinize Eita as he leans on Stella to kiss her while she leans on the counter.

 

“We are waiting for the rice and vegetables to cook so focus on the curry, Lily-chan.” Stella moves her face away from Eita before he can kiss her to face me.

“Rude” Eita says before grabbing her chin and kissing her.

 

I just grunt and get back to cutting the carrots. Two pale, long fingers take the last piece I cut.

 

“Yummy” Tendō smirks as he chews the vegetable, leaning on the table.

 

I simply smile at him, then turning around to pour the vegetables in the pot. I turn back to get the other ingredients but I meet a spoon entering my mouth and a hand holding my chin.

 

Ginger.

 

“I had that portion ready, you know? Prepare another one” I chew the delicious ginger.

 

“Okay!” Tendō tries, vaguely, to crush the ginger from the other side of the counter. He sighs. “I can’t”

 

“You sure can!” I smell the vegetables cooking “I need to add it now, ugh, you know what?” I snatch the grater out of his hand “I’ll do it”

 

“Yay!” He leans closer, our foreheads almost touching. “Wow, you are good at this”

 

I look up at him, annoyed.

 

“If you are not here to help, leave” I add the ginger and chicken in the pot. “Be a good boy like Goshiki and Shīrabu” I motion towards them, who are sitting on the couch watching TV.

 

Tendō rolls his eyes but goes sit with them nonetheless. As the curry thickens, I take another spoon to taste it.

 

_ ‘ おいしい！ (oishi!/delicious!)’ _

 

I reach for a ladle and take a generous portion of the food. I’m munching the chicken of my second portion, oblivious in my indulgence, when I notice Stella snatching the spoon off of my hand.

 

“You eating too much! Let’s go set the table before the rest of the guys arrive” Stella grabs my arm and drags me out of the kitchen.

 

* * *

After a couple of praises and most of the dinner eaten in silent indulgence, Yagatama talks as soon as he swallows the last bite. 

 

“So, Iwa and Bokuto-chan,”

 

“Hm?” Stella, Eita and I look up from our plates. 

 

“The pretty Bokuto, I mean” Yamagata chuckles, mockering Eita. 

 

Eita chuckles, covering his mouth “Oh, Yamagata-kun, I know you are gay for me, no need to hide it”

 

Tendō and I look to each other and burst into laughter. 

 

“Anyway, what is it Yamagata-chan?” Stella asks, slightly masking the awkwardness in her voice. 

 

“I was wondering what’s for dessert”

 

“We are having mar—“

“My dick” Eita cuts me off before drinking water. 

 

“Um...” Ōhira says

“Oh my God” Shīrabu and Kawanishi say at the brink of facepalming

 

I stare deadly at Eita, about to swing a knife at him but Tendō, with his monster reflexes, grabs my wrist and puts the knife back on the table.

 

“Rude,” Yamagata says

“You know you want it” Eita states nonchalantly 

 

“So marshmallows, Bokuto-chan?” Tendō commands all attention to him.

 

I nod

 

“Yeah, and biscuits and chocolate to make s’mores if you want!” Stella adds

 

“Oh, nice!” Yamagata stands up “I know something that would go well with that!~” He retreats to the living room.

 

After a couple of seconds of a asking each other what could it be, Yamagata comes back with two bottles—one square, half-full with amber liquid, and one long, frosted glass bottle, full with green liquid. Alcohol.

 

Stella hits the table, standing up abruptly “ 緑酒を持て来い。 (Midori sake wo motekoi./Fetch me the Midori.)” She demands.

“Damn…” Eita stares at Stella in surprise.

“Put those away, Yamagata” Ushijima and Shīrabu say.

“We can’t drink anyways” Ōhira states

 

“No way!” I hurry to grab the square bottle that Ushijima is reaching for “Is this the super strong one your friends from Osaka got trashed with, Yamagata-chan?”

 

“The one and only!” Yamagata shouts from the kitchen, reaching for glasses from the cupboard. “Tendō, Kawanishi, want some?”

 

“Sure!” They say

 

“I might try some too” Goshiki giggles

 

As soon as he says this, Shīrabu whacks the hell out of the first year.

 

“Don’t you dare, Yamagata-senpai!” Shīrabu stands abruptly and walks towards the kitchen to put the cups away.

 

“Um, what the hell?”

 

“We can’t drink plus we also are having a bonfire. Let’s avoid accidents” Shīrabu explains, in a calm voice now.

 

“He is right, Yamagata” Ōhira stands up, making me and Stella let go of the bottles to put them away.

 

“Let’s get everything ready,” Ushijima says as he takes our plates to the dishwasher

 

We all nod.

 

“I wanted my Midori though” Stella mutters in a sad voice, clinging to my side.

 

“Same” I yelp, clinging back and wiping off my fake tears.

 

* * *

Surprisingly, we all end up wearing turtlenecks. And by surprisingly I mean that, when Goshiki complained that it is cold outside, Tendō had the wonderful idea to force us all to wear turtlenecks. I cannot complain though, we do look cute like this.

 

“And the satorī rummaged through the travelers bags just before eating them alive!” Yamagata throws a piece of wood to liven up the fire as he jumps to end the story.

 

“That wasn’t scary, but I have to admit that resembles how Tendō rummaged through our bags to look for the turtlenecks,” Eita says as he cooks two marshmallows in the fire.

 

“Hey!” Tendō complains, chewing on a s’more.

 

We all giggle.

 

“About turtlenecks, where is Shīrabu-kun?” Ōhira wonders.

 

“I was going to wait for him to get changed but he told me to go ahead because he wanted to call his mother” Goshiki explains.

 

We nod.

 

Instead of a scary story, Ushijima decides to tell a mesmerizing, sad story about how the Seiryū and Suzaku in the eastern and southern sky respectively, fell in love in ancient times. However, they could never come to touch each other since they needed to watch over their part of the sky in order to keep the balance, giving up their love for the world’s sake.

 

Completely arrested by the rich details of the story, I fail to hear a loud thud which Eita picks up.

 

“Ushijima-san, I hate to cut you off but I just heard a noise inside the house” Eita cautions.

 

We stay silent for a bit, being able to hear something rolling on the floor.

 

“Shīrabu is in there!” Goshiki urges.

 

“We should go check” Ōhira stands up, followed by the rest.

 

 

We go in by the kitchen door. Stella, walking ahead, peeks cautiously behind the kitchen counter.

 

“Shīrabu-kun!” She rushes to the living room, followed by the rest of us.

 

Shīrabu lays on the floor, probably unconscious. There also a few droplets of blood in proximity to him.


	20. Too Involved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!!
> 
> oh my we have hit chapter 20 now!! 
> 
> this chapter contains songs so, as always, here is the playlist! https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=Jdt08btOSNqM4DQdLIFv_g
> 
> enjoy!

“Oh, hi, Stella-senpai~,” Shīrabu says drowsily.

 

Stella has been lightly slapping his face in order to wake him up. Eita is tending the cut on his hand.

 

“Care to explain what happened?” Stella signals Kawanishi to get her a glass of water, placing Shīrabu’s head on her lap.

 

“Um, isn’t it obvious?! He downed a glass of whiskey, tripped on the table and fell!” Yamagata shouts, irritated.

 

“We know…” The rest of us roll our eyes and wait for Shīrabu to explain.

 

“Guess I did want to give it a try~” He giggles

 

“You little bastard” Stella and Eita patronizes.

 

After tending him, Ushijima carried Shīrabu to his bed so he could sleep. We are heading back to the bonfire.

 

“Huh? Are you not coming, Goshiki-kun?” Stella turns to face the boy who is standing still, Midori bottle in hand. 

 

Goshiki shakes his head “No, I will check on Shīrabu-senpai”

 

We all nod and go out the kitchen door. 

 

“Aw man! He literally downed more than half that was left!” Yamagata raises the bottle for us to see; the fire making the thin line of liquor at the bottom of the bottle glisten.

“I wonder why he did it, especially after opposing so strongly,” Ōhira comments with a concerned tone; we nod in agreement. 

 

“It irritates me nonetheless” Eita finishes pouring Midori on Stella’s glass. 

* * *

“Feeling better, Shīrabu-senpai?” Goshiki turns on the lights as he enters the room. 

 

Shīrabu replies with a grunt, covering his face with the sheets. 

 

“I made you a sandwich. It’s no good if you don’t eat anything after drinking heavily” Goshiki places the plate on the night table.

“I didn’t drink heavily,” Shīrabu says with a weak voice. 

 

“Oh,” Goshiki places a hand on Shīrabu’s side, covered by the blanket “Then you are extremely light headed”

 

Shīrabu kicks Goshiki’s abdomen with enough strength to make the first year fall on his back. 

 

“Think that’s a kick for someone so light headed?” Shīrabu reincorporates slowly. “Now, give me the sandwich.”

 

Goshiki stares at Shīrabu as the latter eats. Shīrabu may seem drowsy, but his eyes seem particularly dull. 

 

“O-oi” Goshiki exclaims as Shīrabu lays down again. 

 

“I’m going to sleep” He covers himself with the blanket “turn off the light when you go”

 

“Ha-hai...” Goshiki nods, standing up slowly to pick up the plate. 

 

“And Goshiki,” Shīrabu calls him when he turns off the light. 

 

The first year turns to meet his senpai eyes “Yes?”

 

“Thank you for the food”

 

Goshiki nods and leaves. 

 

***play Lovesick by Banks***

 

After eating an apple and washing a few dishes left behind, Goshiki decides to check on Shīrabu again; just to make sure he’s asleep. As he approaches the door to open it, Goshiki hears vague sobs. For a moment, he questions if he should enter the room. Goshiki does not want to disturb his upperclassmen.  

 

_‘However, senpai doesn’t look like someone who would cry over anything. He might be going through something serious.’_

 

Goshiki takes a deep breath, ready to slide the door open. 

 

_‘I want to help Senpai!’_

 

Goshiki finds Shīrabu sitting on the bed, trying to catch his breath between muffled sobs. 

 

“W-what are yo-u doing here, ba—“ 

 

Shīrabu is cut off by Goshiki hugging him. Startled, Shīrabu freezes. 

 

“What’s wrong? You have been worrying me for a while now!” Goshiki demands, hugging him closer. 

 

In any other moment, Shīrabu would have pushed him away, laugh it off, and tell him he was just trying to torment him. But he could not fake it now; Shīrabu hugs him back and wails his sadness away. And, Goshiki, being as empathetic as he is, starts sobbing too. 

 

“Are you ready to tell me what’s going on?” Goshiki moves his head from Shīrabu’s shoulder to face him, making the blonde guy do the same. 

 

But Shīrabu only stares back at him, his eyes bloodshot from crying. 

 

“Was it your mom?” Goshiki caresses his shoulders. 

 

Shīrabu nods

 

“What did she said?” 

 

Shīrabu sighs, looking away. “They are divorcing.” He sobs after he says this. 

 

Goshiki hugs him again, as Shīrabu hot tears start to make a puddle on his sleeve. 

 

After calming down a little, Shīrabu resumes “She wants me to move with her to Yokohama next week” 

 

“What?! But you need to finish your second year!”

 

“I know”

 

“W-what about your dad?”

 

“He’s moving to Seoul with his lover,” Shīrabu says bitterly. “Wow, so convenient for him! she happens to be an important corporate for some goddamned big company there” He laughs cynically. 

 

“I’m so sorry” Goshiki murmurs. 

 

“Looks like this will be the last time I see you all” Shīrabu reincorporates, wiping his tears. 

 

“No!” Goshiki grabs his senpai’s wrist, earning a patronizing glance from the latter. “U-um...” Goshiki blushes, looking away only to look back at Shīrabu with determination. “There is enough space in my house for you to stay. I will ask my parents about it tomorrow! But I am sure they would love to have my collected, respectful senpai staying at our house!” 

  


For a moment, Shīrabu just stares in awe, then chuckling because of Goshiki’s surprised expression turning to concern due to his silence. But Goshiki makes him happy, relieved now too though he is often the cause of Shīrabu’s irritated expression.

  


_‘It doesn’t matter now’_ Shīrabu sighs, resting his forehead on Goshiki’s shoulder.

  


“Thank you,” The blonde guy says, startling Goshiki.

  


“Now, now! No need to be so serious!” Goshiki giggles, patting his senior’s back.

  


“Really?” Shīrabu places his hand on Goshiki’s shoulder, putting enough pressure to make him fall back.

 

Instantly, Goshiki turns bright red, eyes wide staring back at his upperclassmen determined, copper eyes. They have always been determined, his eyes, but now there is a hint of adoration in his patronizing glance. The subtle blush on Shīrabu’s cheeks is a rare sight too. 

But before Goshiki could continue his analysis, Shīrabu locks his underclassmen mouth in his. All of Shīrabu’s frustration dissipates with every graze of Goshiki’s tongue on his own, along with the caresses on his neck, and the expectancy of Goshiki’s shy fingers to gently pull his hair. Eventually, they cease kissing; both bright red and panting. 

 

“Thought you hated me, Shīrabu-san” Goshiki caresses the other boy’s face. 

 

“I didn’t know you were gay, Goshiki-kun” Shīrabu smirks, arms resting next to both of Goshiki’s sides. 

 

“Oh, and are you?” Goshiki brushes his forearm on his lips. 

 

“W-were you just cleaning your mouth?!” Shīrabu hisses. 

 

“No homo” He smiles innocently. 

 

This time, Shīrabu chokes him as he makes out with the dark-haired boy, as well as caressing the younger boy’s waist. As Shīrabu pulls away, Goshiki tries to cling to his upperclassmen’s lips, only to be pinned down by the hand Shīrabu had on his neck. Because of this, Goshiki lets out a light moan which surprises Shīrabu. 

 

“Looks like you are pretty gay” Shīrabu lets himself fall next to Goshiki. 

 

“And it looks like you only like to mess with me” Goshiki complains, hugging his upperclassmen. 

 

“Hey!” Shīrabu pushes him away. 

 

“You literally had your tongue down my throat and you won’t let me cuddle with you?”

 

“Exactly”

 

Goshiki stands up “Ok”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Out with the others to tell them what’s new”

 

“What?!” Shīrabu grabs Goshiki’s wrist to halt him. 

 

“I’m kidding” Goshiki frees himself from Shīrabu’s grasp. 

 

“I don’t believe you” Shīrabu grabs him again. 

 

“Then don’t put your mouth on mine if you don’t trust me,” Goshiki says coldly, walking towards the door, then turning to find the older boy’s irritated face. “Sort things out,” He closes the door and walks away. 

 

Shīrabu falls back on the bed. _‘That was unexpected. Ugh, little bitch is right though.’_ He buries his head in the pillow. 

* * *

 

_‘Stella surely indulged in the Midori’_ I think about how last night I literally had to carry my tipsy best friend to bed as I shower this morning.

 

As the warm water pours down my head, I let my mind wander in every precious moment I lived yesterday. The victory of my friends, the singalongs in the road trip, Ushijima on t—. I shake my head, blushing at the thought. Anyway, dinner, Shīrabu’s contradiction…

 

“Good morning”

 

“Good morning,” I say, entranced with my eyes closed; until I realize that’s not Stella’s voice.

 

“What the fuck?!” I jump back against the wall, covering myself as best as I can from Tendō’s eyes, staring at me behind the foggy glass shower wall.

 

“I realized I forgot my toothpaste” Tendō explains, turning to the hand-wash and opening the faucet.

 

“Couldn’t you ask any of the other guys?! And why, on top of everything, are you brushing your teeth here?” I close the shower-head and reach for my towel.

 

“Everyone else is still asleep, and why can’t I? Do I need to remind you how you were staring at me as I took a bath not too long ago? It doesn’t matter since we are best friends” Tendō starts brushing his teeth.

 

I grunt.

 

“And how did Stella let you step in, anyway?” I peek through the door, expecting to see a lump on the bed’s surface.

 

Instead, I find the sheets on Stella’s side frozen in a pull. Shocked, I turn back to Tendō, who stares at me clueless, just to smirk a fraction of a second later. I smack his head and walk out of the bathroom.

 

“Are you kidding me right now?” I shout as I walk in Tendō’s shared room, waking Shīrabu and Goshiki, and alarming Eita and Stella who were cuddling in the sleeping bag.

 

“Iwaizumi Stella” I call her out with a strong voice, similar to how Kōtarō scolds me when I mess up big time.

 

Stella starts to stand up when Eita grabs her hand which instinctively makes me stare deadly at him for his defiance. But, before I can approach him and tear his arm off, Yamagata and the others walk in, making me snap out of it.

 

“Anybody dead yet?” Tendō walks in, probably ignoring the tension poisoning the room.

  


Instinctively, I turn to choke him, but Ushijima grabs my arm before I can do anything.

  


“Your hair is all wet, Bokuto-chan, why don’t you finish changing?” Yamagata chuckles, nervously patting my shoulder.

  


“Yes, yes” Goshiki climbs off the bunk’s upper bed “I’ll make breakfast”

  


I sigh, making my way out, but not without giving Stella another glance for her to cut the crap and follow me out the room. Thankfully, she follows it.

  


“You are too much like dad, you know?” Stella sits on one of the sofas inside the room as I get dressed.  


 

“I promised him to take care of you long ago, anyway” I put my shirt on.

 

Stella giggles “Are you a soldier or something now, Lily-chan?”

 

I turn to face her, smirking this time. “No, but I am your best friend”  


 

Stella laughs “So, would you forgive me and catch up with this manga?” She holds the book up for me to see. 

  


“Eh?” I sit on top of her horizontally, my legs dangling off the couch arms. “Is this the latest volume?” I lean on her shoulder as she flips to the first page. 

  


“Yup” Stella nods

  


“Wait, is this why you and Eita took so long to arrive at Yamagata’s?” I ask, scrutinizing her with my eyes. 

  


“Yeah, I went to the back of the store and waited until the copies arrived,” She says nonchalantly. 

  


I roll my eyes “the dedication though...”

  


“Always. Now shut up and read, I’m already done with these two pages” Stella hurries me. 

  


* * *

“O-oi” Shīrabu rest his hands on the kitchen counter. 

 

Goshiki looks up from the onigiri he is making to face Shīrabu. “Hey” He smiles. 

 

Shīrabu looks down and starts ticking the table “um...”

 

“What is it?” Goshiki resumes making the onigiri. 

 

“Did you ask your parents about me staying at your house?”

 

“Yes”

 

Immediately, Shīrabu looks up 

 

“What did they say?” He asks in his least demanding voice. 

 

“They said they are more than glad to let you stay,” Goshiki says with a monotone voice. 

 

“Oh, ok. Thanks” Shīrabu says. 

 

Three onigiris later, Shīrabu is still standing there, mute, only staring at Goshiki’s hands as they carefully form the rice balls. He doesn’t mind staring at his underclassmen; it is quite relaxing actually. But there are things he needs to express. 

 

“Goshiki-kun” Shīrabu says after a while. 

 

“Yes?” Goshiki keeps preparing onigiri. 

 

“I am sorry”

 

“About?”

 

“Last night, when I yelled at you because I didn’t want to cuddle and when I got paranoid about you telling the others.” 

 

Goshiki stops messing with the tuna filling for a bit, most likely because Shīrabu’s apology was unexpected. “O-ok” He resumes. 

 

“What’s with the OK? Do you forgive me?” Shīrabu raises his voice a bit, slowly getting irritated by Goshiki’s monotone voice. 

 

“I do forgive you” Goshiki looks up, grinning at his upperclassmen. “Now, now,” He picks up the onigiri he just made. “You are too tense, eat one”

 

Shīrabu scoffs, relieved to see Goshiki smile again. “Um, no”

 

“Yes”

 

“No, I’m good”

 

“Yes!” Goshiki giggles now. 

 

“No, dammit” Shīrabu starts to turn away. 

 

“I said yes!” Goshiki grabs the older guy’s arm, making him turn his head in time to meet the onigiri being shoved in his mouth. 

 

Shīrabu starts coughing violently to which Goshiki responds by moving Shīrabu’s jaw to help him break down the rice ball. 

 

“Why the hell did you do that?” Shīrabu demands, clearly irritated. 

 

“I was only feeding you, senpai” Goshiki smiles

 

Shīrabu can only help but sigh, deciding he rather be irritated by Goshiki's erratic behavior instead of his distant one. Suddenly, he is interrupted by Goshiki’s fingers caressing the corners of his mouth. For a moment, he is entranced by the sensuality of it all, but soon freaks out and backs away.

 

“Goshiki!” Shīrabu shouts, his cheeks turning red. 

 

“What? You had a grain of rice stuck there” Goshiki says innocently, licking the grain of rice off his finger while staring deeply at Shīrabu. 

 

Shīrabu’s heart skips a beat at the sight. 

 

_‘He’s totally teasing me’_ Shīrabu thinks, running away from his underclassmen. 

 

“Oi, where are you going?” Goshiki shouts

 

“Don’t talk to me!” 

 

Shīrabu bumps into Eita and Tendō who are stepping out the room. 

 

“What happened?” Eita asks Shīrabu who threw himself into bed again. 

 

Tendō giggles, grabbing Eita to leave the room “Looks like someone is dealing with feelings~” Tendō whispers in Eita’s ear. 

* * *

After breakfast, we ride the van to a ski resort nearby to use the open field to play. When we arrive, we don’t feel like standing under the sun so instead, we go to the lobby to ask for the choices. 

 

“Um...” The receptionist looks for a pamphlet “We have tennis, golf, and motorcycling at this time of the year.”

 

With the last option, we start eyeing each other. 

 

“Motorcycling sounds interesting” Ōhira comments

 

“I did it once a year ago and it was fun,” Shīrabu says

 

“I want to try!” Goshiki and Stella say in excitement 

 

“Is everyone alright with motorcycling?” Yamagata looks at us who haven’t said anything. 

 

“Sure,” Tendō, Ushijima and I say. 

 

“What about you, Bokuto-chan?” Yamagata asks as the rest of us turn to face him. 

 

“I don’t really feel like doing anything” Eita smiles shyly. 

 

“What? But you were so excited to do outdoors!” Tendō claims

 

“I never said that” Eita replies sternly

 

“Wh-“ I cut Tendō off, yanking his arm and staring at Eita. 

 

But this time, his owl eyes were avoiding mine as if he had something to hide. Exasperated, I start walking towards him with the urge to grab the collar of his shirt and make him look me in the eye. However, Stella halts me, standing between me and Eita.

 

“Maybe you’ll change your mind when you see us riding the motorcycles, so let’s go,” Stella says gently.

 

For a moment, Eita seemed to be formulating a bitchy answer, but he thought better and just nodded, tagging along in silence.

 

Here we are, in a hot, dirt road; the sun is shining bright and we are getting the motorcycles out a warehouse on the side of the road.

 

“Changed your mind?” Stella turns to Eita, taking her helmet off. 

 

But I just think he backed down even more after seeing the landscape. I don’t know if he is overreacting or anything, but he looks downright terrified; his skin paled under the sun looking like off-white marble. 

 

“N-no” He shakes his head, “I think I’ll leave, don’t worry about lunch, I’ll take care of it” He raises his voice to be heard by the rest. “Please be careful,” Eita kisses Stella before he leaves us, jogging away. 

 

We all look concerned, especially Stella. But Tendō tries to liven up the mood saying that at least he is making lunch. The rest of us ride as if nothing happened, lead by Yamagata who knows the road better. And though we don’t talk nor see each other’s faces, we are all weirded out by Eita’s behavior.

* * *

“Oh. My. God.” We say in awe when we come back from motorcycling. 

 

“Enjoy” Eita smiles, taking off an apron. 

 

“This a banquet!” Tendō exclaims, mouth watering at the sight of miso soup, a massive plate full of spaghetti and garlic bread fresh out the oven. 

 

“You’ve got yourself a guy who cooks delicious food, Stella” Goshiki says to Stella with his mouth full.

 

We all nod, indulging the food. 

 

“My father has taught me to cook from a very young age, and I also enjoy looking for recipes to experiment with” Eita giggles. 

 

After lunch, we sit in the living room since we are full. Goshiki, Shīrabu, Kawanishi, and Ushijima are playing a table game on the low table in the middle of the room while Tendō, Ōhira, and Yamagata are teamed up playing video games on their respective consoles. Supposedly, Eita and Stella are watching a Korean Drama, but in reality, they are making out while Tendō is getting distracted by the series and Yamagata is telling him to focus. Similar to Tendō, their interactions are distracting me from reading a manga, every so often looking over it to contemplate them from my cozy corner of the couch. 

 

“Eh? Isn’t that move allowed?” Goshiki comments when Ushijima moves his piece back four spots. 

 

“No,” Ushijima says

 

“But Shīrabu did it before!” Goshiki refutes

 

“Of course not” He replies, slightly irritated. 

 

“Can we move on?” Kawanishi urges. 

 

“Ōhira, the drops!” Yamagata hurries Ōhira, then turning to Tendō “Tendō, can you stop running around? Do you want to get killed?”

 

“I’m just trying to get more drops!” Tendō giggles, his expression soon turning to one of shock. 

 

“He told you so, Yamagata let’s run!” Ōhira laughs while Tendō turns off his console and lays on their laps. 

 

After another half hour, Yamagata suggests we should ride the tramway to see the sunset which would set in the next hour. 

 

“Stella, let’s g—“

 

I interrupt Eita when I suddenly pull Stella away from him. “No sir, you spent the whole afternoon with her already, time for me to get my quality time,” I smirk when Stella waves him goodbye and hops on the cart with me. 

 

As we advance, the yellow tones in the sky start to intensify, reflecting on the pine trees below us and the metal of the tramway system. 

 

“You are too bitchy towards him sometimes, you know?” Stella interrupts my contemplation of the landscape. 

 

“It is only rational for me to demand to be with you when you both were shamelessly making out in front of me for a prolonged period of time” I explain in a monotone voice. 

 

Stella bursts into laughter “We were not shamelessly making out” 

 

I stare at her blankly, making Stella reconsider her statement.

 

“Anyway,” She brushes it off, leaning on my shoulder. “How are things with Tendō-chan?” Stella says in a playful voice.

 

“Good, I guess, but he doesn’t look at me in a romantic way anymore. Oh well, I guess it just died out” I smile at her

 

“Yeah, I guess so, but I also think he might make a move again, just give him some time” She nudges my shoulder.

 

“You think so? I honestly think is hopeless now” I refute.

 

“Hmmm, is that so? I think you are saying that because your interest has gone somewhere else, or more like someone else~” Stella teases.

 

I stare back at her insightful eyes before I have to look away because I am blushing.

 

“Oya oya~ so who is it? Is it someone from the dōjo? An older guy who is a regular at Tori Café? Oh my, was Kawanishi right about you and Goshiki?!” She bombards me with questions.

 

“Oh my God, stop!” I shout, earning an annoyed look from her “Ugh, sorry. Anyway, did your parents like Eita?” I smile apologetically.

 

“Yeah...mom thinks he is a lovely guy but that Bokuto blood is troublesome” She comments, earning a growl from me but she just shrugs as I give her yet another reason. “And dad appreciates he’s got some spunk but, as my mom, thinks he might be too troublesome.”

 

“So they basically don’t accept him” I summarize

 

“No! Like they like him but they just don’t want me to get too involved without knowing him first.”

 

“They have a point”

 

“Yeah” Stella places her hair behind her ear. “Anyway, Washijō-sensei wants to schedule a couple dozen practices” She emphasizes dozen which makes me laugh since Stella probably thinks it’s a lot but Washijō-sensei, as intense as he is, thinks is nothing. 

 

“Cool! Which teams?” I ask. 

 

“The usual, Date Tech, Tohoku, Aoba Johsai though there is this Karasuno we haven’t matched recently with.”

 

“Karasuno? That’s the school my friend from the dōjo goes to!” I say excitedly. 

 

“Really? You mean that insane bitch who is obsessed with swords and groped your boobs once?” She smirks. 

 

“Exactly that bitch” I chuckle. “Though it’s been more than once”

 

Stella laughs loudly “Oh my God, is she into you or something?”

 

“I don’t think so” I touch my chin reflectively, suddenly smirking at Stella “Though I think she might like these pretty eyes of mine in someone else~”

 

Stella pouts, her hazel eyes getting fired up. “Is that bitch into Eita? Lily-chan I swear that if you are for real I—“

 

“Ata! Don’t get so worked up Stella-chan, he only got eyes for you.” I pat the enraged girl’s head. 

 

“Then why you say that?!” She whines.

 

“Calm down!” I stop patting her head, looking away to face the amber sky. “I say this because she was so startled when she saw him”

 

“Startled in what way?” Stella questions incredulously.

 

“I don’t know, she froze for a moment though she brushed it off; she remained hectic while Eita was there though she is always like that so I don’t—“

 

“Do you think they know each other?” Stella cuts me off

 

“I don’t think Eita knows her, he acted pretty normal”

 

“Hm…okay”

 

I was telling her about Shīrabu’s attitude towards Goshiki that day, beginning to speculate a romance between them when we arrived back to the point we board in where all the boys except Eita and Tendō were waiting.

 

After we got back to the cabin, the setting was similar to last night; Yamagata, Ōhira, Ushijima, and Kawanishi went to get more wood for the bonfire while Stella and I make dinner. Though this time, we all agreed to make Eita’s favorite—Tekka Maki and Miso soup since he cooked lunch. Tendō, Goshiki, and Shīrabu helped prepare the table. 

 

I don’t know if we finished early, or if the boys were running late, but the soup is getting cold and we are considering reheating it as we sit on the living room to wait for the rest. 

 

“Well, maybe they had to look for wood farther than yesterday” Tendō suggests, trying to ease us. 

 

“They should have done it earlier instead of slacking off this afternoon!” She shakes her head. 

 

“Oi, you all!” Yamagata enters through the kitchen door in a hurry. 

 

“What took you guys so long? We were starting to worry!” I said as we all stood up. 

 

Shortly, Ushijima steps in too, in the same hurry as Yamagata “We can’t find Ōhira and Kawanishi”

 

As the words come out his mouth, I freeze. This is a worst-case scenario. 

 

“How?” Goshiki asks, shaking Yamagata by the shoulders. 

 

“Like yesterday, we divided into pairs, Ushijima and I going farther than them so we could all meet in the area they were at,” Yamagata explains in distress.

 

“We were calling them out as we approached to confirm where they were but they never replied.” Ushijima continues.

 

“We only found a bunch of wood and their axes on the floor,” Yamagata mutters.

 

The panic is real, we are all blurting out questions at once; like where was the closest residence, if it was common for people to go missing, etc.

 

“We should go look for them. Where are the flashlights?” Eita suggests.

 

And to the woods we go; there were only two long-range flashlights which Yamagata and Tendō took so the rest of us had to use our cell phones. We were shouting their names all the way to where the wood they gathered is.

 

“Wait, Ushi-kun, didn’t you say there were two axes?” I ask when I see a single ax on the ground.

 

“I am pretty sure I saw two” Ushijima insisted.

 

“Shit” Eita fumbles his face.

 

“Ōhira! Kawanishi!” Stella starts to shout again as she starts walking away.

 

“Guys, maybe they are boning, they will come back soon.” Tendō tries to ease us.

 

“What the fuck”

“You went too far”

“Please shut up”

 

“I am just trying to go through options here, you all!” Tendō refutes.

 

We giggle, but desperately keep looking for them.

 

But after two hours is not funny anymore.

 

It is 1 AM now. Yamagata and Ushijima ran to the house to announce that Ōhira and Kawanishi were missing around 21:30. With all the frustration in the world, we have to head back to the cabin without finding another lead to them. We don’t eat dessert; damn, we hardly ate dinner. We stayed up all night, silently, in the living room. Some of us start praying, one by one falling asleep. By 1:45, Yamagata and I are the only ones still awake, hardly. Not long after, I have my eyes closed and everything around me is fading.

 

Yamagata shakes me awake violently, now being able to hear the loud knocks repeatedly banging the front door. 

 

I run to follow Yamagata, about to fall for my lack of balance.

 

Two drowned ghosts stand in front of us. Restless eyes, dramatically pale skin and soaked clothes are how we get Ōhira and Kawanishi back.

 

Instinctively, Yamagata and I pull them inside the house and lock the door. Ōhira’s arm is freezing.

 

“They are back!” Yamagata and I shout loud enough to make the rest of our friends awaken.

 

“They are freezing!” Stella exclaims as she hugs the two of them.

 

“Here” Yamagata runs back from the rooms with two towels we all trying to wrap them in.

 

“Where were you?” Ushijima asks desperately

“Why are you wet?” Goshiki is on the verge of tears

“Did someone hurt you?” Stella grabs their hands

 

But they are deaf to the storm of questions.

 

“Sayuri” Ōhira and Kawanishi say in unison, their voices cold and monotonous as a computer voice.

 

It only takes an instant to make us scream.

 

They throw the towels on the floor as they turn their backs on us. Horrified, I stare at the multiple, bloody ax cuts on their backs. I make out a small  何 on Ōhira’s back. I hate to stare at them but I must decipher the message.

 

Twenty-two strokes carved on Ōhira’s back.

Thirteen strokes carved on Kawanishi’s back.

 

何処に行きましたか？

(Doko ni ikimashita ka?)

 

Where did you go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand i'm gone!
> 
> yes, i have only written to this point (currently working on chapter 21) and, since finals are coming soon, I will need to stop writing actively. But! since we have hit this mark, here are some facts!
> 
> 1\. I have been working on this fanfic for more than two years now!  
> 2\. I have folders on Instagram and youtube named "Bokuto Sayuri reference" cause I am just that passionate about this  
> 3\. I LOVE detailed feedback on everything I make (pls don't hold back guys, you never say anything and it worries me T.T)  
> 4\. As the creator I am, I have made a BUNCH of art for this fanfic you can always check out on pixiv! (link: https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=18611118 )  
> 5\. The other option for this chapter's name was "oh shīrabu, you've got the gay" lolololol
> 
> I will probably be posting a new chapter again in mid-May when my summer break begins (probably when I am almost done with chapter 22 to have a head-start and not fall in hiatus again lol)
> 
> In the meantime, you can always share your thoughts with me; I would be glad to hear from you.
> 
> See you soon!


	21. Alternatives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, did I say mid may? it's already June. Sorry about that T.T  
> On the bright side, I have a head start so I probably won't go in hiatus anytime soon!
> 
> As always, here is the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=gAlkNM5vS2WG7bfNx_mLKA
> 
> also, not to spoil the chapter or anything but EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD. Proceed with caution :)
> 
> Let the new BS (literal bullshit [jk, Bokuto Sayuri]) season begin!

“Who did this to you?” I mutter, tears streaming down my face. “Who did this to you?!” I scream.  


 

“Calm down, Bokuto-chan” Goshiki, Tendō and Stella hold me as I wail.

 

The boys aid Ōhira and Kawanishi to take a warm bath and clean their wounds. Meanwhile, Stella and I warm the Miso soup for them. When they are ready, and not as shocked anymore, we all sit in the living room.

 

“Kawanishi and I were cutting wood when two people, men wearing black, muffled us with cloths.” Ōhira begins to tell.

 

“Obviously, the cloth had a drug that numbed us so it was easy for them to carry us to the river.” Kawanishi resumes.

 

“It was awful” Ōhira takes a deep breath but continues “though we couldn't move, I could feel the cold water even more than I could in optimal conditions,” Ōhira explains on the verge of tears. Tendō and Stella comfort him.

 

“They held us there as if they were to drown us.” Kawanishi’s hands are shaking “My lungs were burning and my back ached as one of them cut me.”

 

“H-how did you come back?” Shīrabu wonders. 

 

“They left us lying on the shore, it took a while for the drug to wear off so as soon as it did we ran back.” Ōhira answers. 

 

“Why did they tortured you? Did they question you?” Eita asks

 

“No, after they cut us, they just said it to show our backs to Sayuri right before they left us,” Kawanishi replies.

 

Now they are all looking at me. 

 

“Do you have any enemies, Bokuto-chan?” Yamagata demands. 

 

“Not anybody that could do this?!” I refute, walking towards my two wounded friends to hug them. “I am so sorry guys, I will think harder to figure out who it might be.”

 

“We should all try to get some sleep now” Ushijima points at the clock that marks 4 AM. 

 

They are all asleep but I am thinking harder. I think harder sitting on the edge of the cliff where the cabin ends, a puddle of tears forming on my lap as the sky turns lighter. 

 

_‘Who might have done such a thing? The guys who were expelled? Who?’  
_

But I can’t think of anything except the bright red, open flesh of Ōhira and Kawanishi’s backs. 

 

“What the hell Sayuri?” Eita addresses me. 

 

I wipe off my tears before I turn to face him. But, instead of looking at his face, his fists caught my eye. They are bruised, droplets of blood landing on the ivory rocks that make up the floor of the outer area. 

 

“What?” I ask, my voice scrapes from so much crying. 

 

“I heard your crying from ins—“

 

“You heard me crying from the woods below this cliff, and that distracted you from breaking your knuckles against a tree.” I finish the sentence. 

 

He sighs, sitting beside me. 

 

“I hope you are here to throw me off this cliff” I look away to the blue, morning sky. 

 

“Is not your fault, okay? Don’t be so dramatic.” Eita lays on the patch of grass we are sitting on. 

 

“How can you say that?! Somebody hurt them because of me, Eita!” I start to sob. “Because of me!” I wail. 

 

Eita sighs, standing up to leave. 

 

“We are leaving in 2 hours” He announces. 

 

* * *

I hate to put on a fake smile. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me, Kenjirō?” Mom asks as I pack my necessary belongings. 

 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll join you when I graduate.” I tell her as I close the regular sized, blue suitcase that I have always used for family trips. 

 

“But will you—“

 

“Of course I’ll visit you every once in a while!” I pat her shoulder, smiling. “Now, I have to leave. I don’t want to interrupt when Goshiki-san starts making dinner.”

 

“Let me drop you off at least” Mother smiles, both of us walking out the empty room with only boxes on the floor. 

 

As expected, mom prolonged her stay at the Goshiki household and ate dinner with us. 

 

“Your mother is really nice” Goshiki comments, staring at me from his bed as I arrange all my things on my side of the closet. 

 

“Yeah”

 

I step out of the room to take a shower. It’s been a tough couple of days. My mom giving me the news, Ōhira, and Kawanishi, Goshiki...   


 

_‘I tried to numb myself with alcohol. How weak of me.’_ I sigh as the warm water flows down my back. 

 

“Are you going to miss her?” Goshiki asks as soon as I step in again. 

 

“Yes. I will visit her as much as I can.” I lay down on my futon. 

 

“Eh? Are you going to sleep already?!” 

 

“Um, it’s 22:00 and we have class tomorrow.”

 

“Ok but still,”

 

“Aren’t you emotionally tired? You know, for seeing Ōhira and Kawanishi like that.”

 

“I am, but I am trying to cope” Goshiki sighs, then grinning at me “What? Do you need emotional support?” He gets up, crawling towards me. 

 

“What are you doing?” I struggle to get away from him. 

 

“Giving you some love you really need right now” Goshiki smirks, pinning me down. 

 

I blush, but part my lips to meet his tongue anyway. 

 

* * *

**_*play How Far by Tei Shi*_ **

 

_‘I can’t believe we are not telling anybody’_

  
I am swimming with a face of anguish. Good thing that I can always say I am out of breath if my teammates ask. 

 

“Good work today, see you tomorrow!” I say as I walk out the locker room. 

 

Neither Tendō or Stella are waiting for me today. Nobody from the volleyball team, actually. 

 

_‘Guess they truly hate me’_ I close the gym door as I walk out. _‘Can’t blame them though’_. 

 

And I should be brave and cheer them up as I usually do. But I think there is no easy way to recover from this, especially when the blame is on me. 

 

On the look for an outlet to release this pent up anxiety, I make my way to the dōjo. 

 

“You are too hectic” Hikashikoi-sensei comments when I step into the right-wing garden where he is meditating on the edge of the fountain. 

 

“Let’s practice please” I plead. 

 

“Let me guess, with weapons? You are not thinking straight today, I could sense it when you stepped in the main entrance.”

 

I grunt. “I am sorry, but what does that have to do with anything?” 

 

Sensei bursts in laughter. “It has to do with everything. I already said no, it is ultimate.”

 

I try to breathe deeply to stop the urge of clenching my fists. 

 

“All I can offer is meditation which looks like you are in need of” Sensei smiles at me. 

 

I scoff. “No, thank you,” I say irritated as I storm out the dōjo. 

 

I still have the urge to clench my fists; in addition to hitting something. 

 

I am seriously considering hitting the concrete when I sense the presence of another person. 

 

“Good afternoon, Bokuto-sama”

 

I get goosebumps when I turn to see Arashi. 

 

“Don’t tell me you are here to convince me to cut you again...I already said no.” I start to walk away. 

 

He grabs my wrist. I try to get free from his grasp but he is pretty strong. 

 

“I was just going to offer you to practice with me!” He giggles. 

 

“What?” I try to pull my arm again. “Don’t tell me...you eavesdropped on me and sensei?!”

 

He lets go of me, clearly enjoying my shocked face. “No no, not today at least. I couldn’t help seeing his collection, you know?” He scratches his head. 

 

I stare blankly at him for a few seconds. 

 

“I am leaving” I say after a while. 

 

“Do you think repressing what you’re feeling is healthy? If you do you will become—”

 

“What? Insane? Like you?” I scoff, walking towards him to grab his shoulder. “I accept your offer.” I say sternly. 

 

“Interesting...” Arashi comments as he starts walking. 

 

"Let’s get this shit over with” I follow.

 

**_*stop music*_ **

* * *

_‘I can’t believe I couldn’t do anything’_

 

I execute a spin kick on the punching bag, making it swing violently from side to side. 

 

“You better not break this one!” The boxing coach peeks through the door, probably because he heard the chains rattling. 

 

“Sorry about that” 

 

“I have to leave early. Can you close, son?” He says. 

 

“Leave it to me. Good night.” I sit on the floor to drink some water, calming down a little.

 

_‘He always said I overreacted when someone gets hurt’_ I scoff, standing up again. 

 

_‘Oh, He’_

 

I punch the bag, making swing all the way back again. When it returns, I lock it in place with my right leg, burying my fist in the depression my former punch left. 

 

_‘Fucking He.’_ I punch the bag viciously. 

  
Blinded by my rage and deafened by the sound of my chalked fists frenetically hitting the bag, I fail to sense the presence of someone leaning on the doorframe.   


 

“I didn’t know you do boxing” 

 

I turn to see the brown-haired mid-aged man who, no different to other times, looks at me in a provocative way.

 

“I didn’t know you were in Sendai, Oikawa-san.” I say in a rather surprised tone, maybe a reaction to see the man in exercising clothes and a little sweaty.

 

“I have a few days off so I decided to pay a visit to my buddy Enokida” He walks in.

 

“You know coach?” I raise my eyebrow.

 

“Yeah,” Oikawa scratches his head “Let’s say I have done boxing before.”

 

“Oh really?” I cross my arms, giving him a defiant look.

 

The mild expression on his face changes yet again into a provoking smirk. “I mean, I could beat you if I want.” He arches his neck.

 

I scoff. 

 

“You don’t believe me?” He chuckles. 

 

I turn to face the bag to resume my punching. 

 

“Come on! A punching bag won’t let you blow all that steam off.”

 

My leg lets go off the bag and I land a frontal punch on it as I let out a loud grunt, sending it all the way back. 

 

“Are you sure you wanna be my punching bag?” I turn to face Oikawa, making him flinch probably because of the bloodlust showing through my eyes. 

 

I grunt, getting inside the ring. I can still recall where the blood landed when I fought Sayuri. “Are you gonna back down?” I cross my arms, leaning on the upper left corner. 

  


Oikawa chuckles, climbing in as well. “Iwaizumi was right, about you having quite some spun—“ 

 

**_*play Devil by Niykee Heaton*_ **

 

I make him choke on his works as I swiftly land a punch on his abdomen. 

 

“Ouch” He reincorporates again, guarding his face with his fists.   


 

“I’m rather qui—“ 

 

He starts swinging his right fist in a pattern so irregular I have to concentrate better on what he is doing. 

 

“Having trouble?” He smirks, speeding up. 

 

But I don’t let him get too confident, landing a punch on his face. However, he punches my side which makes me lose my balance. I grab his arm not to fall but instead we both fall. 

 

“I win” Oikawa makes an evil laugh, laying on top of me. 

 

Almost instinctively, I kiss him. I do not know why though. Maybe because I am frustrated at so many things and his flirtatious face was right in front of me. Nonetheless, Oikawa kisses me back; his tongue intruding my mouth and his right hand caressing the side he punched a few moments ago. 

 

“I don’t think I blew all the steam off” I mumble between kisses, swiftly switching to be on top of him. 

  
Oikawa smirks. When I lean to kiss him again he pushes me back. 

 

“I knew you were a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve Stella” Oikawa grabs both sides of my shirt to pull it off my body. “But two pieces of shit can get along just fine” He takes off his own shirt and, entwining his legs around my thighs, switches to be on top. 

 

I am about to come up with a puny line to tease him but Oikawa pulls my hair with his left hand and starts devouring my neck. 

 

“So this is what you have been imagining when you looked at me that way?” I grunt as he plays with my right nipple with his other hand.   


 

Oikawa chuckles, his hot breath against my neck making me twitch. 

 

“Oh silly boy,” He twists my right nipple so hard it makes me gasp, leaving my skin more sensitive than before to feel the exquisite touch of his hand traveling down my abdomen which ultimately ends in a burst of sensations as he grabs my balls firmly. “I haven’t even started” 

  
My breath becomes exponentially heavier with every shift of Oikawa’s grip on my balls. Soon enough, he frees me from the friction of my sport shorts and underwear with one, swift pull. Lively, he starts stroking my dick and kisses me again. But now his gluttonous, sweet lips are craving my already throbbing cock, leaking on Oikawa’s avid hand.   


Oikawa holds both of my thighs, spreading my legs in order to make room for his face. However, there is something else that intrigues him enough to not get straight to blowing me.

  
“Mamushi?” He stretches the skin of my inner thigh where it almost meets the scrotum where my subtle, viper tattoo lives.

 

“Oh, so you know about snakes…” I smirk, seeing and feeling him contemplate the seal.

 

“Very much so” Oikawa smirks before holding my dick and licking the tip.

 

He blows me so good. Before, he said he is more of a fling man.

 

_‘Bet he has a lot of experience.’_

 

And he doesn’t let down. Every time he goes up and down my length, it gets better. So warm, so caring. I am also loving how this arrogant man is looking so submissive right now. He sometimes stops which makes me focus on Oikawa’s indulgent touch on my balls.

 

As soon as he brings me close, Oikawa stops. I grunt, kicking him away out of frustration. But he pins me down. Smirking, he spreads my legs and teases the opening of my ass with two fingers. I can’t help but gulp. I am usually the one who dominates, but, to be honest, I enjoy when the other person takes the control. 

 

And how I am feeling right now, I need to be held down. 

 

It sure doesn’t take long for Oikawa to warm me up.  


 

“You are rather loose, Eita-kun” Oikawa smirks at my flustered face while he swiftly slides two of his fingers in and out of me. “My~ why are you with Stella if you are gay? Is it for cover?”

 

I grunt. Tired of hearing him talk, I choke him, getting on top to then take off his pants. “I don’t do this often” I lean in to kiss him as I caress his thighs.

 

I could feel him shifting underneath me but he stopped struggling as soon as I held his hard cock with my right hand. Oikawa starts arching his neck back as I stroke faster, twisting my wrist to add to the friction. I hold his chin with my left thumb, making him stare at me in the eyes. His brown eyes don’t hesitate to tell me how he is being prideful and not showing how much he is enjoying me taking control. 

 

Soon enough, I spoil him, switching to be underneath him. As soon as he settles on top of me, he reaches for a condom in a blue wrapper out of his pocket. He reaches for my thighs to spread me but I do it before he does, only turning him on more with my submissive demeanor. 

 

Next thing I know, I am sweating more than when I was practicing with the punching bag. Oikawa leans on me, his teeth dangerously touching the skin of my neck, but instead, he licks.   


He might be fucking me, but this man is more gentle than he shows. Oikawa holds my neck as he thrusts into me, also stroking my member for more pleasure. He is so careful, helping me come first by holding his thrusts back. However, after I come, I lock his waist between my legs, taking it all of his length and frenzy in. With a deep moan, he comes. 

 

Quickly, he ties the rubber and flods me with kisses.

 

“You are quite amazing, Eita-kun!” He cuddles with me on the ring floor.

 

“Mhm, I guess I did blew all the steam off” I grab his head to stop him from kissing me again as I move away to get up.

 

“Eh? Don’t have more energy to burn?” Oikawa reincorporates, staring at me as I pick up my underwear. “I was curious to have us switch up!”

 

_‘Shit’_

 

I twitch. Unfortunately, Oikawa notices my spur of interest, getting up and cornering me in the ropes of the ring.

 

“Oh! Looks like you are up for some more~” He grabs my cock which gets more lively when it meets the older man’s touch.

 

“Damn it” I grunt under my breath, spreading Oikawa’s legs, fitting one of them between the ropes for leverage. He pulls me closer for a kiss, his tongue desperately running in circles in my mouth.

 

Click.

 

I try to pull away to find the source of the sound but Oikawa holds me tight. I am able to break away if I want to.

 

But I don’t.

 

I can feel his nails digging in the skin of my nape as I go in.

 

* * *

**_*play Mama Always Told Me by G-Eazy*_ **

 

_‘What a rare breed’_  


 

That silver hair of his looks so divine under the sun, when he laughs. 

 

“Stop staring. You don’t want him to notice you.” Emi takes out a two lollipops from her lunchbox and gives me one.

 

“Why not?” I unwrap mine, looking at her puzzled.  


 

“You are too pretty for him, Kubo-san” Matsui, who is sitting to my left, comments.

 

The cicadas are starting to make more noise as the summer approaches, teasing me about how I have spent the whole year contemplating this strange yet beautiful boy.  


 

_‘die Kirche im Dorf lassen'_ * 

 

I have told myself time and time again. But frequently hearing people gossip about a new scar he got or he being up for trouble just intrigues me more. The sun still bothers me though I am in the shade, and it itches having him meters away from me and be unmoved.  


 

‘ _Zeit, Himmel und Hölle in Bewegung zu setzen’_ *

 

I stand up and start walking towards the group of boys laying on the grass.

  
“Hello, Bokuto-kun” I let out before my tongue gets trapped.

 

He arches his neck back, taking off his sunglasses to meet my eyes directly.  


 

“Hello, stranger” He smirks.

 

 

 

*German idiom for not “getting carried away”

*”Time to move heaven and earth"

 

**_*stop music*_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cHuuUu ChHUuuu hop in the fucked-up drama train!


	22. Gladly

“Good afternoon, everyone!” Goshiki approaches our usual lunch table.

Though the mood has been quite grim for the past couple of days, Goshiki is able to lift the mood, even if it is just by a little. But he is hurting bad too. Goshiki is not as energetic when we get home. Though he would try to act to alright around me, there is still a clear remainder of the expression he made when he saw the cuts on Ōhira and Kawanishi’s backs. I feel bad that he has to put up with my anxious ass on top of everything.

“Hello, Goshiki-kun” Stella giggles, probably refreshed by his presence. “Hm? Is that guy with you?” She tilts her head to get a better look at the tall boy standing behind Goshiki.

“Yeah!” Goshiki stretches his right arm to hug the guy’s shoulders. “This is Nishinoya Katahi, a classmate of mine, and a buddy from Hikashikoi’s”

“Nice to meet you all” Nishinoya bows.

I try not to cringe when I see his long hair threatening to come undone from the topknot.

“From the dōjo? I didn’t see him that time we went to see you practice, Goshiki-kun” Tendo remarks.

“Yeah, it would be difficult to miss that coarse hairstyle” I cross my arms.

“Shīrabu-kun!” Stella nudges my side “Please forgive him, Nishinoya-kun. Your hair looks really cool to me!”

“Thank you, senpai. And you can call me Katahi if you like! Oh, and you probably did not see me because I mostly take jujutsu lessons, Tendō-san I suppose” Nishinoya says as he and Goshiki sit down. 

Tendō giggles “My my, what are you saying Shīrabu-kun? He is quite nice” Tendō rests his chin on his hands.

The boy sits right across from me, staring at me directly. I squint my eyes at him. 

“So, is this the salty senpai that lives with you now? His hair looks weirder in person!” Nishinoya chuckles.

“Excuse me?!” I blurt before I am able to remind myself to stay quiet or come up with a witty answer to bite him back.

Nishinoya chuckles as I make eye contact with Goshiki, pleading to know how can he get along with this savage. 

_‘Oh, maybe is for his looks? Does he like him? If this criminal has tried to make any advance on my kouhai…’_ I think trying not to look as insecure as I sound inside my head while looking back and forth between Goshiki and Nishinoya.

Nishinoya repeatedly looks at me and Goshiki.

“Oh, I see” He smirks, staring at me.

The staring contest ends in a tie when someone calls Nishinoya and he turns to face them.

“Gotta go!” He stands up. “Again, nice to meet you all.” Nishinoya bows and glances at me again. “Take care, Shirabu-senpai” He winks.

I roll my eyes.

“And let Bokuto-chan know she left me down not being here!” He turns back to shout at us.

I trail him with my eyes until he leaves the dining hall. As soon as he is out my field of vision, I snap my neck to direct my vicious gaze towards Goshiki.

“I don’t like him” I blurt

“You attacked his hair, what do you expect?” Goshiki says

“For him not to be a douche”

Goshiki raises his brows

 “Annoying” I pout

* * *

_‘Just what the hell was I thinking?’_

 

I end my quest to find a solitary spot in school when I sit down in a staircase. I can’t help but think how Tetsurō would scold me for only having an onigiri and some strawberry juice as lunch. But I have no appetite for anything right now. I am probably just chewing on this out of anxiety. 

 

_‘Oh, so are you acting out of pure instinct now?’_

 

The beast within me can’t complain. It is roaming as free as ever. Though it would prefer a little more action. 

 

_‘So...are we meeting with him again today?’_

 

I squint my eyes, cringing at my vicious actions. I can’t believe I actually thought this madness would help me cope with stuff. 

 

I mean...it was therapeutic. 

 

_‘What part though? Burning the steam off, or the sight of a beat-up guy?’_

 

I hold nothing against Arashi, nothing but getting my wild side all worked up. He is actually a pretty nice person...besides his twisted fetishes that is. Anyway, I think there is something satisfying as it is sickening about beating someone to the ground. 

 

_‘The power and the guilt I’d say...’_

 

I take one last sip on the juice and rest my head on the steps above me. 

 

I have become more frenetic ever since Eita came around, especially when I talked to Stella that one time at Tori Café. I’ll admit it, the reasons were quite childish and I just got myself in more trouble. But that impulsivity has only grown ever since. However, what happened to Ōhira and Kawanishi is quite serious. 

 

_‘Do I have an excuse to act out now?’_

 

The real question is if this would bring me and everyone else more trouble. 

 

* * *

“Nice serve!” Yamagata and Goshiki shout as my serve successfully crosses to the other side of the net. 

 

“One touch” Kawanishi announces. 

 

However, I can see his painful expression as he moves around. Probably his wounds have not healed that much yet. I mean, he hasn’t been attended by an actual doctor or nurse. It has only been me and Shīrabu tending them since we are the ones who know more about this stuff. After all, we decided to deal with this as a group to avoid concerning our families and authorities. 

 

_‘I should check on his wounds after practice’_

 

I fail to receive Ushijima’s spike. 

 

“Get it together, Bokuto!” Washijō-sensei grunts  


“Don’t mind, don’t mind” Goshiki tells me. 

  
_‘Oh I am sorry, we are going through some shit here at the moment, sensei’_ I think to myself. 

  


But I should not try to excuse myself because of the situation. What I did was wrong. 

 

This time, I do receive Ushijima’s spike, serving it to Goshiki from the back. 

 

_‘Like, Stella also knows how to patch up wounds but she gets depressed when she sees their backs so you protect her from that pain. And then you go behind her back and cheat on her with Oikawa-san who is basically her uncle?!’_

 

_‘You scum’_

 

We rotate, which brings me to the front. On the other side of the net, Ōhira stands in front of me. I honestly try not to look much at him since it would only make me feel more guilty. And though it is a practice match, looking at him from behind the net feels like I have betrayed him and become his enemy in a way. 

 

Nevertheless, he smiles at me. I smile back. 

 

“Has it gotten better?” I ask him. 

 

Ōhira nods. “I would appreciate if you checked on it after practice though.” He turns to look at Kawanishi who is looking rather fatigued. “I think he might need more antibiotics.”

 

I nod.   


 

“Bokuto! Kid, you either focus or you are out!” Washijō-sensei warns me again. Although I hear Stella trying to calm him down. 

 

_‘Fuck, I swear he is more annoying than ever today’_

 

“Sorry about that, sensei” I smile at him with my eyes closed, trying to conceal my bloodlust.   


Thankfully, sensei didn’t call me out for the rest of the practice. 

 

In the changing rooms, we waited for the other team members to get changed and leave in order to check Ōhira and Kawanishi’s wounds.

 

“Ouch” Kawanishi complains.

 

“Looks like it started bleeding again” Tendō remarks

 

I get new bandages ready while Shīrabu disinfects the cuts. 

 

It should only sting a little, but maybe feeling that pain again, even if it is milder now, has Kawanishi breathing heavy with a face full of anguish.

 

“D-do you think it needs more stitches?” Goshiki gulps

 

“Probably…” I consider

 

“Yeah, but we would have to go somewhere else since that would take time and we do not want sensei, or anyone else walking in on us” Shīrabu suggests, preparing to wrap the bandages around Kawanishi’s back.   


 

We nod.

 

“How are yours, Ōhira-chan?” I ask the tall boy who is taking his jersey off.

 

“I think they are good! But I would appreciate if you checked on them since I can’t really see them.” He sits on one of the benches.  


 

“Sure” I sit on the bench parallel to his, facing his back.

 

“We can probably remove the stitches soon” Shīrabu notes, a hint of enthusiasm in his voice.

 

“Yeah, I think next week would be safe to do so,” I suggest.

 

Eventually, we head out of the locker room, finding Stella sitting on the benches. She was probably reading a manga on her phone before standing up to meet us.

 

“Well, you all took some time to change!” She sounds angry though she is spinning around. However, when we get closer, Stella smiles. “Is everything alright?” She asks with concerned eyes.

 

“Yes,” We say in unison.  


“Though we need to check on the batter,” Shīrabu holds Stella’s hand while nodding as if he is hinting at something.

 

Stella nods too, looking at Shīrabu with a serious face. “So…”  


“What do you even mean by that?” Goshiki asks, just as confused as everyone else.

 

Shīrabu grunts, letting go of Stella’s hand “I was just trying to talk in a sort of code to say that still have to work on Kawanishi!” Shīrabu explains.

 

“Oh,” Ushijima utters.

“Well, that didn’t make sense…” Yamagata and I remark

“Nice try, Shīrabu-kun” Stella stands on her tiptoes to pat the head of her kouhai.

“Fail!” Tendō laughs

“Work on…am I homework or something?” Kawanishi sneers

 

Ōhira and Goshiki chuckle, starting to walk out of the gym. We follow.

 

“So where should we go to check on the batter?” Tendō impersonates Shīrabu’s serious demeanor when he said the latter.

 

We giggle.

 

“What about your place, Bokuto-chan?” Goshiki asks.

 

“Sur—“ I stop

 

_‘Shit! No, no, sir! You fucked Oikawa yesterday, and though it wasn’t in your house I don’t feel comfortable taking Stella there!’_

 

“—actually the house is kind of a mess right now” I chuckle “sorry for talking without thinking first”

 

“Don’t mind!” Stella says

 

_‘Aaaaaaaa I hate myself’_

 

“There shouldn’t be a problem at my place!” Yamagata announces.

 

“Let’s be on our way then” Ushijima suggest.

 

“You should have said something like knit a sweater _,_ Shīrabu-kun” Tendō suggests as we all walk to Yamagata’s.

 

“Yeah, or switch gears” Ōhira contributes to the quest of broadening Shīrabu’s lexicon.  


“But, for real, should we come up with codes for this type of things?” Goshiki wonders.  


I drift into their conversation which adorns the setting sun and the clacking of our loafers when they hit the pavement.

 

“Why did you miss lunch today?” Stella asks monotonously, looking away.

 

I stagger. 

 

_‘Damn, straight to the point’_

  
“Sorry” I scratch my head, looking at her while she is still looking the opposite way. 

  
“Don’t worry. I am not mad” Stella locks her emerald eyes on mine. “And don’t feel guilty about what happened to them, you know better than anyone that they are recovering just fine.” She smiles

  
“We don’t know how they are doing psychologically,” I remark, patting Stella’s head and hugging her by the shoulders. 

  
“Is nice that I can see through you, don’t you think? Helps me keep you in check” Stella giggles. 

  
_‘I guess I am still good at hiding things’_

  
I chuckle. 

* * *

“Do you feel pain, Kawanishi?” Shīrabu asks, slightly piercing Kawanishi’s back with a needle.   


 

“No, looks like the numbing cream settled well” Kawanishi acknowledges. 

 

“Well then,” Shīrabu repositions himself in Yamagata’s bed and starts sewing “Let me know if it is painful at any moment”  


 

The rest of us quietly sit on the bedroom floor, either looking directly at the sutures or diverting our gazes towards something else, specifically the insane amount of Detective Conan volumes Yamagata keeps on his bookshelves.

 

“You are so old school, Yamagata-senpai” Goshiki whispers, almost inaudibly in order to not disturb Shīrabu.  


However, the prodigy setter does hear his now roommate and chuckles a bit.  


“It is okay if you talk, guys” Shīrabu turns towards us after cutting the thread off the suture he just finished. “I don’t need complete silence like a certain someone to concentrate.” Shīrabu raises his brows as he looks at me; probably referring to how I asked everyone to get out as I was stitching Ōhira’s wounds the first time.

 

“Riiiiight” I smirk.  


 

_‘We were all freaking out, and even your perfectly steady hands were shaking, idiot.’_

  
“ お茶が欲しますか？ (Ocha ga hoshimasu ka?/ Do you guys want tea?)” Yamagata stands up.

 

We all nod.

  
“ 君と一に来ます！ (kimi to issho ni kimasu!/ I’m coming with you!)” Stella holds my shoulder in order to stand up, patting my head before she walks out of the room with Yamagata.

_  
‘Why is she going with him? Do they have to talk about something?’_

  
I shake my head 

  
_‘As if you can demand anything, bastard’_

 

 

“So how are you guys coping with what happened?” Stella hands two glasses of iced tea to Ōhira and Kawanishi as we all sit on the bedroom floor.

 

“I am doing alright,” They say in unison before sipping on the tea.

 

“It is okay if you two say anything you want, you know?” Ushijima pats their shoulders.

 

“Yes, we are in a safe spaaaace~” Goshiki forms an arch with his arms.

 

Yamagata chuckles.

 

“Well,” Kawanishi puts the glass aside. “I am worried something else might happen,” He sighs “Sometimes, I have nightmares about my raptor entering my room and cutting off the sutures.”

 

Stella and Goshiki gasp.

 

“I am sorry to hear that, man” Yamagata gets closer to Kawanishi to hug him.

“Everything should be fine now, don’t worry too much,” Tendō says with a lump in his throat.

 

“I am sorry to make you guys worry like this” Ōhira bows.

 

I bow back “It can’t be helped, we are all friends”

 

“I cannot begin to imagine how Sayuri feels…” Kawanishi mentions.

 

“How the message was addressed to her and everything” Goshiki trembles slightly.

 

“It’s been over a week since I’ve talked to her” Ōhira notes.

“Eita and I have tried to approach her in homeroom a few times but she is really evasive so we stopped,” Yamagata tells

 

“Idiot! You know how Sayuri is, she probably thinks you hate her!” Stella snarls “And you, Eita. She is your sister! You should check on her more!”

 

“You know she is too stubborn” I reply.

 

_‘And it is not like you’ve been going the extra mile for her either…’_

 

“I cannot resent her though, it is not fair” Kawanishi states and we utter our approval.

 

“It is honestly concerning to think in what kind of trouble she is in, you know? For us to be targeted that way…” Ōhira places his now empty cup on the tray Yamagata brought.

 

“She shouldn’t be dealing with this alone” Tendō claims.

 

But there is an elephant in this room, or rather a human instinct of self-preservation: we are scared and would do everything in our power not to be dragged down with her.

 

I take a sip on my tea as I listen to this redundant conversation about vindication.

 

_‘I have had more than my fair share of trouble in this life already…’_

 

* * *

I move aside, evading Arashi who charged towards me in the empty spot his dad’s car left on the garage. I cannot help but grin when I see an opening to hit his torso with my knee. He backs off, messing with my reflexes as he pretends he is closing into me repeatedly. However, I charge in first and start swinging my knife at him. Arashi avoids them with ease, but I can tell by the expression on his face that he is dying to have the edge of my knife prickle his skin.

 

He seizes my moment of contemplation and aims to stab my shoulder. Quickly, I throw my upper body back. Taking his arm when it freezes right after the stabbing motion, I shake his wrist to drop the dagger and pulling him over my shoulder as I stand straight. 

 

Seconds after, I climb on top of Arashi who is laying on the floor and hold his dagger dangerously close to his jugular. We are breathing heavily. Arashi blushes. Desperately, he reaches for my wrist, brutally squeezing the pressure point to make me drop the knife. Swiftly, he holds me by the neck and pulls for a kiss. However, I make a rather superficial cut from the back of his hand to halfway on his forearm before he locks his lips on mine.

 

“Don’t get enraptured” I smirk, getting up.

 

Arashi sighs, staring at the blood that slowly flows out the wound. “You were perfect right there. I couldn’t help myself” 

 

He gets up too, grabbing a towel to clean the blood. “And we had a deal! You can only cut my torso”

 

“That’s what happens when you can’t help yourself” I grin.

 

“Do you want anything in particular?” Arashi asks as he put on a shirt over the scars of that day.

 

“Some iced tea would be nice, thanks” I look away.

 

“Aw, are you shy now?” He pats my head.

 

“Fuck off” I cross my arms and sit on a retro couch placed on a side of the garage.

 

“I’ll be back soon” Arashi smiles before he goes out of the garage.

 

I sigh, throwing my head back on the couch. But as soon as I do that, the adrenaline wears off and the guilt comes back, making me breathe heavier than before.

 

_‘You sadistic bitch’_ I cover my mouth to muffle my sobs.

 

I am just cutting up another person instead of helping Ōhira and Kawanishi heal.

 

_‘Arashi wants this! don’t blame yourself, you are such a good friend!’_ The beast inside me comments.

 

I pull my hair as if that would make those justifications fade away.

 

_‘I am just making things worse’_ I tremble, sobbing harder.

 

_‘You are such a hypocrite sometimes. You were literally laughing as you beat the shit out of him a few moments ago’_

 

I should have found a better way to cope with this like crying, meditating, all the fucking extracurriculars I already do.

 

_‘Admit it, you just want to see blood.’_

The tears on my cheeks have dried now. The beast has a cunning tongue.

 

Arashi comes back with tea and anpan. We eat in silence.

 

“Bokuto-senpai,” Arashi starts

 

“Hm?” I look at him.

 

“You seem more…I don’t know, not as engaged as the last time”

 

“I don’t want to hurt you as bad”

 

_‘Liar’_

 

“You don’t have to hold back on me” Arashi giggles.

 

I nod shyly, taking another bite off the bread.

 

“The situation that had you so frustrated, is it solved?” He asks

 

I laugh bitterly “Far from it”

 

“Are you running away from it then?”

 

“What do you think?” I ask sarcastically.

 

“I think you should face it,”

 

I turn to face him, shocked.

 

“That way you can be a little more engaged!” Arashi smiles brightly.

 

_‘He has a death wish’_ My beast and I concur.

 

_‘He has a point though’_ The beast adds.

 

Hanging out with Ōhira and Kawanishi again only to trigger my bloodlust? That would be so messed up.

 

_‘Ohohoho! crafty, I like it!’_

 

_‘Just kill me already’_

 

_‘The weak part of myself? Gladly’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! since I realized you all who are reading don't comment (probably because you don't want to insult my poor judgment in this work heheeh) I just wanted to say thank you if you read this today (and anything after chapter 17 really.....that was too long) I really appreciate you take the time to read, ilysm!
> 
> Nevertheless, if you EVER want to say something about this madness, don't hesitate!
> 
>  
> 
> Have a good one and until next week!


	23. 十分

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 十分 = Ten Minutes but also **Enough**
> 
> playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc
> 
> Enjoy!

**_*play Some Feeling by Mild Orange*_ **

 

“Oh”

 

“What is it?” Stella leans on me as we walk out the main hall, on our way to the volleyball court. 

 

“Washijō-sensei says there won’t be practice today” I explain. 

 

Likewise, Stella takes her phone out of her pocket and checks the group chat. 

 

She chuckles “I would show you mercy today” She impersonates sensei as she reads one of the messages he sent. 

 

I giggle “Our Lord and savior indeed”

 

We change our course towards the school’s main exit. 

 

“Then should we seize this miracle and go somewhere, Eita-kun?” Stella holds my arm. 

 

“Sure, where would you like to go?” I put my phone back in my pocket and smile at her. 

 

“Tori Café?”

 

I raise my brows

 

“Sayuri should be there then...” I note

 

“I think it would be nice to visit her, don’t you think?”

 

“Totally” I nod. 

 

In all honesty, I haven’t technically talked to her after the dawn I found her crying at the cliff. I think it would be fine as long as I don’t piss her off that being if I keep my thoughts to myself. 

 

_‘And my secret as well’_

 

“Let’s get going then!” Stella starts walking faster, yanking my arm as I fall back. 

 

I follow quietly, my mind most blank. A few moments later, I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket. 

 

及川：ヨーホー！私はここにます！ (Oikawa: yoohoo! I’m here!)

 

I stop abruptly. Freeing my left arm from Stella’s grasp, I hold my phone firmly with both hands. 

 

“What the hell?!” Stella turns around to see me, irritated. 

 

自：十分で (Me: in ten)

 

“U-uh sorry” I look away from my phone for second in order to give Stella an apologetic smile. 

 

自：俺の場所 (Me: my place)

 

“Something came up,” I tell Stella as I start to walk away

 

“Are you serious?!” Stella groans. 

 

“Have to help my dad with something, sorry!” I start to jog. 

 

“Can’t it wait?” Stella shouts in the distant

 

_‘Of course it can’t wait’_

 

A few minutes after I stop at the front door catching my breath, Oikawa pulls up in his car and quickly walks to the front door. 

 

“You are here early,” We say in unison. 

 

Pleased, Oikawa holds my chin and kisses me. I don’t break away from the kiss as I take us inside my house. On the contrary, once inside, I grab the back of his neck as I lock the door with my other hand. 

 

“You couldn’t be more eager, could you?” Oikawa says between kisses. 

 

“Shut up” I utter before I lock his lips on mine once again, dragging him to the living room couch. 

 

**_*stop music*_ **

* * *

“Thank you for waiting,” I say while I place two cups of milk tea and a slice of chocolate cake on the customers' table. 

 

“Thanks!”

 

“Let me know if you need anything else,” I bow slightly before I leave them. 

 

I walk over to the counter where Harusato places an iced coffee for me to carry. 

 

“It feels like it was only yesterday you were so confused about the table order and needed my help during those rush hours” Harusato giggles. 

 

I blush in embarrassment, remembering how unskillful I felt. “I only needed time,” I say shyly. 

 

“You sure did, small parakeet!” Harusato smiles, touching my hand over the counter. 

 

I nod and make my way to take the order to its patron. 

 

“Sorry to keep you waiting” I bow after I give them their drink. 

 

As they reply, I cannot help but looks towards the entrance as the doors open. The birds in the cages above start chirping; few flying around between cages. 

 

I smile a little when I look at those green eyes that greet me. I wait for Stella to sit at our usual table. Once she does, I approach her. 

 

“Good afternoon” I bow “What would you like to order?”

 

She stares at me for a while, stupefied. Stella burst into laughter. 

 

“Oh my God,” She wipes small, happy tears off her eyes. “You have not acted this passive since elementary. Well, aside from when you are drunk or sleepy.”

 

I can’t help but giggle “Dang, okay” I hold my notepad firmly “Would you like the u—“

 

“How are you holding up?” Stella cuts me off. 

 

_‘Looks like she’s not gonna let me avoid talking about what happened, is she?’_

 

“I am doing better” I reply

 

_‘Do you mean worse?’_ The beast comments

 

“I am glad” 

 

“What about you?”

 

“I’m alright, Lily-chan” Stella smiles

 

“H—“ I hesitate for a second “How are Ōhira and Kawanishi?”

 

“They are much better! Well, Kawanishi’s woun—“ She shakes her head “progress is much slower though”

 

“Ooh, I see” I nod

 

_‘Coded language. Smart call, Stella-chan. Couldn’t expect less’_

 

“I am glad they are better” I smile shyly. 

 

“They miss you cheering them up, though” She notes. 

 

Immediately, my smile fades. 

 

“Why would they miss me?” I say rather harshly. 

 

“Lily-chan” Stella utters soothly, yet with an undertone of threat. 

 

“It is my fault, Stella,” I say under my breath. 

 

“Look,” She pauses until I make eye contact with her again. “Yes, is your fault in a way. So what? I don’t hate you, clearly, Ōhira and Kawanishi don’t hate you either. Hell, none of us hate you or resent you in any way. So stop whining about it because we sure are over this. I mean, you been training to be badass so act like one for once, would you?” Stella takes a deep breath “Look, I am just saying that cutting us off won’t help them, or me, and clearly not you, understand?”  

 

I stare at her in awe for a second, feeling everybody at the café looking at the blunt blonde. I blush as I nod in understatement due to my lack of words. 

 

Stella smirks. 

 

“Now bring me a frappé with a cherry on top” She winks. 

 

“Coming right up” I smile at her before I leave to tend her order. 

 

Minutes later, I place Stella’s drink on the table. 

 

“Thank you” Stella bows, sipping on it right away. 

 

“Enjoy” I turn away. 

 

“And Lily-chan,” Stella says before I take another step. 

 

“Yes?” I turn back to face her. 

 

“Please come lunch with us tomorrow.” She smiles

 

I nod. 

 

“And practices”

 

I nod, now giggling a bit. 

 

“And to all our hangouts” Stella adds

 

“Alright, I get it” I chuckle

 

“And to our study group” Stella continues

 

“I’ll sew myself to you all then!” I exasperate, laughing nevertheless. 

 

“Now that’s more like it” Stella giggles and I finally make my way behind the counter. 

 

Eventually, Stella leaves, but, of course, not without making sure that I got her message. 

 

_‘Arashi suggested it, Stella said is alright. What’s stopping you now?’_

 

Harusato-san asks me to switch places so now I am preparing the orders. I wonder how messed up could I be to even consider exploiting my emotions and harming people with them as I cut a piece of cake for a customer and meticulously pour some custard on the side. 

 

_‘You plate presentation is neat though’_ The beast remarks.

 

_‘Does that makes up for my bad decisions and actually paying attention to you?’_ I sigh. 

 

* * *

“See you on Thursday!” I wave goodbye at Harusato while I walk towards the exit. 

 

“Take care!” She waves excitedly. Some of the birds chirp as I open the door. 

 

Moments after, I get a call from Kōtarō. 

 

“Hey, honey. Are you out of work already?”

 

“Hi, dad. Yeah, I just finished.”

 

“Cool! I am around the area, want me to pick you up?” Dad suggests. 

 

_‘Last chance!’_ The beast giggles

 

“I actually have something to do first, thanks though” I smile a little as I feel my stomach twitch. 

 

“Ok! See you at home then, and don’t be late”

 

“Alright, alright” I chuckle “Take care!”

 

“You too, love” Dad replies before I hang up. 

 

I walk faster when I see it is already 18:30. 

 

* * *

“Hello, Bokuto-kun!” His mother happily greets me 

 

“It’s been a while, Kawanishi-san” I bow, smiling. 

 

“Sure has!” She moves aside “Please, come inside”

 

I step in. 

 

“Kawanishi and Ōhira are in the living room” She mentions as we make our way there. 

 

I nod

 

_‘Jackpot!’_

 

“They have recently become quite close! I don’t know why all of the sudden though. Ōhira is a good guy, and you know Kawanishi is shy so I am glad he is making close friends” Kawanishi-san notes. 

 

“All of us, his upperclassmen, will keep taking good care of him, Kawanishi-san” I giggle

 

_‘Yeah! Like letting him be kidnapped, cut, and probably scarred for life! What a good senpai!’_ The beast comments ironically. 

 

As I shake the thought away, Kawanishi-san and I walk in the living room. 

 

“Bokuto-kun came to visit you, Taichi” Kawanishi-san places her hands on my shoulders. 

 

“Hi, guys” I gulp. 

 

They wave at me. 

 

“Well, then” Kawanishi-san starts to walk away “I’ll leave you alone now. Pleasure to see you, Bokuto-kun”

 

“Likewise,” I bow. 

 

She slides the door shut. 

 

“Look, I’m so—“

 

I stop talking as the two boys embrace me. 

 

“Is alright, Bokuto-chan” They say in unison. 

 

I hug them, caressing their backs. My fingers feeling the bumps the sutures have left.  

 

My eyes water as they let me go. 

 

“You got us worried” Ōhira comments as we all sit on the floor where they have game controllers and snacks.

 

“Wanna play some games?” Kawanishi offers me a third controller with a smile.

 

_‘Why are they acting so natural?’_ I ask myself in panic as I take the controller from Kawanishi.

 

_‘Oh, poor thing. That was no good, was it? But it would be weird if you caress their backs again in order to get triggered, wouldn’t it?’_ The beast giggles in a corner of my mind.

 

“I am sorry I got you two in that situation” I look at the screen as Ōhira presses start in pubg.

 

“Not your fault, friend” Ōhira pats my shoulder

 

“There is no need to be concer—shoot” Kawanishi’s character is grazed by a bullet of a rival, forced to hide and look for an opening to shoot them dead. “concerned, please don’t feel bad” He turns to smile at me after he blows the opponent up with a grenade.

 

“Alright” I hold the controller, biting my lip as I struggle to avoid someone shooting at me.

 

“Tense, huh?” Ōhira turns to see me “just don’t bite your lips off, okay?” He giggles.

 

_‘Little does he know I want to gouge my eyes out’_ I take a deep breath.

 

Gunshots and Blood. Drops. Ammo. Ending someone when they are not even looking.

 

_‘Are you satisfied? You saw them and now you are playing a gruesome game’_ I address the beast.

 

_‘Meh, I guess is fine’_ Beast shrugs.

 

What the hell? It convinces me to do immoral things and then it just acts nonchalantly.

 

_‘What about Arashi?’_

 

_‘I am not feeling it today…’_ Beast yawns.

 

I hold the controller tighter as I discharge half a load on an opponent.

 

_‘Are you playing with me?!’_

 

The beast simply smirks.

 

The game ends with us winning.

 

“Good work!” Ōhira cheers.

 

“You went bold in the end, Bokuto-senpai” Kawanishi notes

 

I pull off a forceful smile as I place the controller on the floor.

 

“I should get going,” I stand up and walk towards the door.

 

“What happened?” Kawanishi stands up as well.

 

However, I just hurry to the main door without answering.

 

“Thank you for having me, Kawanishi-san” I put on my shoes as I address Kawanishi’s mother who is in the kitchen.

 

“So early?” She replies but I am already out of the house.

 

Kawanishi and Ōhira are telling me to stop.

 

_‘But you cannot be stopped right now, that’s for sure’_ The beast states, leaning against the walls of my mind expectantly waiting for my thoughts to burst.

 

Unfortunately for her, my side of our shared mind is blank.

 

* * *

**_*play For The Night by Princess Nokia*_ **

 

There he sits on the floor, shirtless. His dearest kit of knives unrolled on the floor in front him, therefore in front of me too. These knives are a bridge between us. The blade connects my hand with his flesh, then his blood. It trades pain for a feeling of victory. However, it also trades lucidness for madness. Yet the madness is lucid nonetheless.

 

“You look pretty into it today” The sight of my eyes submerged in bloodlust makes Arashi smiles.

 

Knives are glistening. The way the light dances on them resembles candles. Candles that tempt me to blow them out. Instead of wind, you extinguish the light of a knife with blood.

 

“Yeah,” My eyes go back to Arashi’s face after contemplating the instruments.

 

I go to the couch to leave my backpack and dress shirt from school, staying with a black tank top and skirt. Turning around, I meet Arashi who is holding two knives. A Bowie and a Karambit.

 

“Ready?” Arashi offers me the Karambit with a smile.

 

I smirk, taking the knife. Swiftly, I switch my grip on it, seizing its curved shape to cut the back of his forearm.

 

“Seriously?” He groans, taking a defensive stance “Though I quite like it when you snap like this.”

 

To lock me, Arashi reaches for my hands. However, I grab his hands first, pressing my knife against the back of his hand while I control his dominant hand that holds the knife by the wrist. I turn the direction of his blade towards himself, pressing it against him to cut his torso just below his pectorals.

 

He gets away from me, lurking for an opening.

 

“You are amazing today, Bokuto-sama” He giggles “Let me cut you today, will you?~”

 

Arashi charges towards me. I spar, earning superficial cuts in my arms in order to avoid a direct hit. However, he manages to lock my hands and run his blade rather deeply on my right oblique. I whimper, covering my side as I retreat.

 

At the sight of his black eyes glistening like onyx as a reaction to my pain, I immediately transform the pain into anger.

 

I kick his face, seizing the shock to snatch the blade from his hand. Without a second thought, I push him to the floor and begin carving my frenzy onto his torso. Arashi gives in, throwing his hands to the sides. The nutjob even alters the extent of his moans depending on how deep is the cut. I figure out after ten minutes. He is hard against me, but the only thing I am concerned about is how the wounds are not mortal.

 

_‘Somebody had to hold you back, don’t you think?’_ The beast speaks again after a couple of hours.

 

I jolt when I hear it, crawling away from Arashi as I stare at the blood on my hands with new eyes.

 

Arashi sits up, smiling at me.

 

“‘ _My, you got pretty fucking psycho there_ ’” Arashi notes and the beast upholds.

 

_‘And you are not blaming me for your own actions for once’_ The beast adds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that ended kinda grim...
> 
> I really liked the Iwaizumi "The Blunt Blonde" Stella scene. What was your favorite scene?


	24. The Mellow Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Hope you are having a great day!
> 
> playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=wwphYWqpQqSti6c_KApp3Q
> 
> As always, enjoy!

“There is someone from the Sendai newspaper to interview you, Bokuto-san” Bokuto’s secretary announces over the phone. 

 

“What about?” Bokuto asks as he fills some paperwork. 

 

“Um...” His secretary mutes the phone, probably to reassert the journalist’s motives. “They are working on an article about the growth of sustainable companies in the past fifteen years, therefore, they want the word of a representative like you about our many sponsorships for these types of companies.” The secretary explains. 

 

“Understood, Maeno-san” Bokuto puts his pen aside. “Let them in.”

 

A few moments later, the journalist walks in. He is tall with dark brown hair. Bokuto would recognize that elegant figure anywhere.

 

“Good morning, Bokuto-san” The man sits facing Bokuto who is behind his desk. 

 

“Akaashi?!” Bokuto clears his throat “um, I am sorry, I didn’t mea—“

 

Akaashi giggles, pulling out his notepad and camera from his messenger bag.

 

“Is it alright if I take a picture?” Akaashi raises his camera a little bit as he asks. 

 

Akaashi is being professional, trying to act like it is an ordinary interview between two men who have never seen each other before. After figuring out this much, Bokuto understands he should play the stranger role as well. 

 

“Sure sure, go ahead” Bokuto motions in agreement before he folds his hands on his desk to pose. 

 

A few shutters later, Akaashi puts the camera back in the bag. Sitting again, Akaashi faces Bokuto again as he clicks his pen. 

 

“Should we begin?” Akaashi asks. 

 

“Go ahead” Bokuto smiles. 

 

“Alright,” Akaashi smiles “What inspired your corporation to get involved in the sustainable growth of packaging companies?”

 

Bokuto nods “Naturally, our bank have ties with many packaging companies all over Japan. However, it was not before that one petroleum incident in Hokkaido that we, both as a corporation and people realized we needed to do more about these environmental issues.” He answers with a noble voice. 

 

Intrigued, Akaashi writes down Bokuto’s cogent response. 

 

“I see,” Akaashi leans slightly forward “How does the bank usually helps these companies undergo the change to more sustainable alternatives?”

 

“Now, all the companies are required to have at least one type of environmental research team which would report any issues to the executives. Then, the executives would come in agreement with the engineers to check the equipment that needs to be changed. Ultimately, the executives agree how much they would borrow from us.”

 

“And I believe that generates a lot of benefits for the bank too,” Akaashi smirks, his right foot suddenly touching Bokuto’s left calf. 

 

Bokuto laughs off his surprise “Yes yes, though we also survey the process to make sure our common goal is carried through.”

 

“Could you explain that goal in more depth, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi is now constantly rubbing his foot against Bokuto’s leg. 

 

Bokuto moves his legs again from Akaashi’s touch. The way Akaashi addressed him as Bokuto-san hit a little too close to home. It took him all the way back to when they first met in volleyball try-outs as well as the first and last time they made love as well as every other moment in between. However, they are playing strangers now. Akaashi calling him like that is to be polite and nothing else. 

 

“Totally,” Bokuto nods “Our goal is to not only be more eco-friendly but also enhance the quality of our products and their international pres—“ Bokuto’s speech crumbles into a groan. A surprised yet pleased groan. 

 

Akaashi had the audacity to target Bokuto’s groin with his foot. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Akaashi asks innocently, trying not to smirk. 

 

“Akaashi-san, please st—“

 

Akaashi pulls on Bokuto’s tie, making him lean closer all while he creates sweet friction between his shoe and Bokuto’s already hard cock. 

 

“Continue you said?” Akaashi grins. 

 

Bokuto cannot help to gulp as he is arrested by those ocean blue eyes engulfing him. 

 

“You shouldn’t look so helpless, Bokuto-san” Akaashi rubs the tips of their noses together, and chuckles. “Or what? Doesn’t your husband satisfy you?”

 

By now, Bokuto is breathing heavy. Bokuto is breathing so heavy he realizes he is not in a suit anymore. And neither is he in his office. 

 

A dark room with his loving husband soundly asleep. 

 

It was all a dream.

 

* * *

“Goshiki hurry up!” I knock on the bathroom door. 

 

We arrived from practice an hour ago. And Goshiki has been in the shower that entire hour while I am here soaked in sweat. 

 

“You were the one who insisted on waiting to get home to take a shower!” Goshiki shouts from the other side. 

 

“I meant me, dumbass!” I grunt, sitting in front of the door with my arms crossed. 

 

It’s been another 10 minutes and the water is still running. I cannot stand this sticky sweat on me anymore. Standing up abruptly, I open the door without a second thought. 

 

While Goshiki hums, I take off my clothes and literally march towards the shower. 

 

“Eek!” Goshiki jumps back when I roll the curtain open. 

 

“Get out” I grab him by the waist and place him out of the shower, in a similar manner one would move a jar from one table to another.

 

I get a glimpse of the violent blush livens up his shocked face before the curtain rolls, blocking him from my field of vision.

 

The redness of my own face dissipates after a few moments underneath the lukewarm shower. Assured that Goshiki already stepped out of the bathroom, I chuckle, staring at my feet.

 

_‘What’s up with that? Really, holding your naked kouhai out of the shower? I mean, I would do that every so often with my cousins when we were little so it shouldn’t be too different.’_

 

I look up, letting the water hit my face, attempting to erase the smirk on it.

 

_‘But you like him’_ The thought floods my mind as some droplets infiltrate my nostrils, making me back down.

 

As a reflex, I start to cough a little.

 

“Are you okay, Shīrabu-senpai?” Goshiki says from the other side of the curtain.

 

I freeze for a second.

 

_‘Was he in here the whole time?!?’_

 

I roll the shower curtain to the side in order to confront him.

 

“Why are you still here?!” I grunt, yet with a hint of bashfulness as my face begins to feel hot again. Suddenly, I begin to feel too self-conscious as I stand naked before Goshiki who is wearing a towel.

 

“I am not done washing my hair yet” Goshiki pulls a naive smile as he points at his hair that is still covered in shampoo.

 

“You can rinse that in the sink, you know?” I can’t help but roll my eyes.

 

He nods shyly. I start to turn around to roll the curtain again.

 

Smack.

 

Enraged, I snap my neck to face him as he tries to put his hand away as soon as possible.

 

“You little…” I close the faucet and step out of the shower as Goshiki backs away. “Did you just smack my ass?!” I shout, grabbing him by the shoulders.

 

Instantly, Goshiki pulls me closer by my arms, locking them against him back with his right hand holding my wrists. He smirks dangerously close to my parted lips as he lays his left hand on my right buttcheek.

I am so infuriated that the thought of biting his nose crosses my mind. However, he steals a quick kiss before I finish clenching my teeth. The only thing I can do now is pout in defeat as Goshiki smiles victoriously.

 

“You have a nice rear” Goshiki remarks as he squishes my buttocks.

 

“Let me go” I demand

 

Goshiki pulls off an adorable puppy face. So adorable that my eyes widen.

“But it ish sho nicee~”

 

I roll my eyes, forcefully pushing him away. Grabbing my towel and tying it around my waist, I make my way towards the door.

 

“Is that what you do to Katahi-kun too? Or rather he does it to you?” I utter bitterly.

* * *

Exhausted, I throw myself in bed after arriving home from school. The beast has been laughing non-stop since I headed out Arashi’s place last night.

 

_‘Or rather ran away when you snapped out of it!!’_ It laughs louder now.

 

Due to my awful migraine, I had to skip swimming practice today. Drowsy, I stand up to take off my shirt. 

 

_‘Oh, great’_ I grunt. 

The bandages I wrapped around the wound are stained in blood. 

 

_‘Thank God it didn’t stain my uniform though’_

 

I start unwrapping the bandages as I lock myself in the bathroom. By the looks of it, that might be the last major bleeding and it should heal just fine. Unless I get into a complicated fight that is. 

 

_‘I should avoid Katahi at all cost’_ I note, wincing slightly as I disinfect the wound. 

 

_‘Shouldn’t you be worried about Hinagu though?’_ The beast suggest. 

 

Right, I have kendo practice tomorrow.

 

_‘And nobody can know about this. Neither the wound or Arashi’_ The beast warns me, trying to contain its laughter.  

 

**_*play Sleepyface by Birocratic*_ **

 

_‘I know already, dumbass’_

 

Exasperated, I stand up and throw myself in bed again. Since the beast stays quiet for a few moments, I exhale deeply. A genuine smile of comfort curves up my lips for the first time in a while. 

 

“Sayuri, honey?” Tetsurō interrupts my momentary peace. 

 

I can’t help but grunt in frustration. 

 

“What is it, dad?” I lay on my belly, staring at the light shining below the door from my room in shadows. 

 

“Ushijima-kun came to visit,” Tetsurō says with a joyous tone. 

 

Immediately I sit on the bed. Widen eyes looking around the mess my room is right now. 

 

“E-eh?” I am able to utter as the light from the hall begins to crawl into the room. 

 

_‘I don’t even have a bra on!!’_ I begin to move my arms around to throw as many things as possible under the bed.

_‘Idiot, there literally five things laying around and you call this a mess?! Just hurry cover yourself with a pillow.’_ The beast shakes its head in disapproval. 

 

As soon as Tetsurō turns on the lights, I sit put, smiling at them as I hug my red FIVB mascot pillow. 

 

“Hi, Bokuto-chan” Ushijima waves at me as he stands behind my dad. 

 

“Hey” I smile shyly. 

 

Tetsurō clasps his hands together “It’s my time to leave then!” He turns around, patting Ushijima’s shoulder “I’ll call you when dinner is ready”

 

As Dad closes the door, Ushijima grabs the white FIVB mascot pillow and sits facing me. 

 

“What are you doing here?” I chuckle. 

 

“Visiting you” There is a hint of teasing in his usual stoic voice. 

 

“Right,” I giggle a bit

 

“We haven’t talked in a while”

 

“We talked during lunch”

 

“It was mostly you nudging my shoulder as you laughed at Goshiki’s jokes” 

 

I scoff, looking down. 

 

“Your laugh seemed fake though”

 

I look up to him. He is usually this blunt but...damn. 

 

“Are you feeling alright?” Ushijima tilts his head to the side. 

 

_‘Nah man, she is terrified of her psychotic self’_ The beast resonates in mind as it bats its wings. 

 

I simply smile. 

 

We stay quiet for a while. It takes Ushijima a while to understand I am too tired to talk. 

 

“Goshiki introduced us to Katahi the other day. He seems like a nice guy” Ushijima says. 

 

“Nice you say?” I chuckle

 

“Am I wrong?” He smirks

 

“Well, I mean, he is nice but too annoying” I explain

 

“You mean energetic” Ushijima suggests “He is on the swimming team, right?”

 

I nod “and a starter”

 

“Wow” Ushijima reflects for a bit “He should have come to the volleyball team”

 

“Goshiki and him on the same team? I think that’s too much to handle” I raise my brows skeptically. 

 

“For Shīrabu, that is” 

 

I choke in laughter. 

 

“What? It is true” Ushijima says innocently

 

“Why you say that?” I say between chuckles. 

 

“Come on, it is obvious he and Goshiki have something going on”

 

I can’t help but fall on my back as I laugh at this stoic dork being rather sassy. 

 

“What is it?” He asks again without a clue of how funny he is being right now. 

 

“Care to elaborate on that explanation?” I raise my hand, motioning him to keep talking. 

 

_‘You really are amusing yourself, aren’t you?’_ The beast crawls next to me in my headspace. 

 

“Okay” Ushijima nods “Well, you know how Shīrabu can be too serious and his temperament is quite difficult. However, Goshiki is much lighthearted and very tolerant towards Shīrabu’s temper. My guess is that Shīrabu has fell hard for Goshiki since he accepts him as he is, and at the same time is not afraid to call Shīrabu out when he is wrong.”

 

“Which ultimately annoys Shīrabu but he respects the action.” I resume. 

 

“Exactly” He agrees “I also couldn’t help but notice how Shīrabu was jealous when he met Katahi-kun; probably because he thought about how Katahi is a much more agreeable presence to be around. Shīrabu probably didn’t think exactly that at the moment, but I sense that he felt subconsciously insecure”

Normally, I would be the one doing the talking and Ushijima listening, commenting every now and then too. However, he managed to keep the conversation, well, rather his analysis afloat.

 

“Agreed” I nod, sitting up again.

 

A sudden pain emanates from my side. Nonetheless, I reincorporate normally, trying my best to hide the fact I am hurt.

 

_’_ 血ととも注意してよ _~ (chi to tomo chūi shite yo~/ **Be careful with the blood~** )’ _

The beast warns me.

_’_ 君はそれが染まるか欲しいない。 _(kimi wa sore ga somaru ka hoshī nai./ **You do not want it to stain.** )’_

 

I gulp.

 

“Give me a second” I head to the bathroom while still holding the pillow. 

 

Locking the door, I face myself in the cold mirror, trying to find a red stain in my baby blue t-shirt. I sigh in relief when I don’t find one and proceed to take off my shirt. However, before I patch the wound again, I put on a bra. 

_‘Hurry!’_

_‘Weren’t you the one that told me to worry?!’_ I reprimand the beast

_‘You chose to do it this way’_ The beast embraces me _‘Just how you made the decision to fight Arashī yesterday’_

 

Through the mirror, I stare at it deadly; my mortal gaze transcending enough to make it back off.

 

_‘_ _Anyways,’_ The beast clears its throat _‘just be quick, or else it would be suspicious.’_

I roll my eyes, putting my shirt on again.

 

“Hey hey hey!” I greet Ushijima again, holding the FIVB by it’s left hand, slightly swinging it around. 

 

“Be careful with it” Ushijima warns. I can see a spark of anxiety in his eyes. 

 

I smirk, swinging over my shoulder. “Oh, really?”

 

He pouts, disapproving my intent to irritate him. 

 

“You should take care of your belon—“

The pillow lands directly on his face. After it rolls away, Ushijima sighs. However, his grip on the other FIVB hardens. 

 

I try to move away as soon as I see the pillow leave his grasp. Nonetheless, he changes the direction at the very last moment and it hits a side of my face, making me feet stagger. 

 

“Nice kill” I smirk, touching my cheek as the pillow falls on the floor

“You shouldn’t mess with someone that plays volleyball” Ushijima hesitates when he sees me raise my brows defiantly. “S-sorry, I shouldn’t have done that”

 

I chuckle “Well, well, Wakatoshi-kun” Calmly, I bend to pick up the pillow “I say _you_ shouldn’t mess with someone who also plays volleyball as well as martial arts” I grind, grabbing the pillow with both hands.

 

_‘Idiot!’_ The beast grunts

 

It is too late though, as I already land on top of Ushijima, pressing the pillow against his face to suffocate him. Yet, a few seconds later, he pushes me away, quickly pinning me down. Nonetheless, I am able to slip my left arm away to meet the pillow attempts to smother me. At the sight of Ushijima’s focused face, I start to laugh, making him chuckle as well.

 

“Lefty power, I see,” He remarks as he uses his own left arm to push mine down, in which he is succeeding with his superior strength. I just grin, trying to keep up.

The bedroom door slams open.

 

“Hey, kids! Dinner is rea—“ I recognize my father’s Kōtarō voice before he stops abruptly at our awkward scene.

 

With widened eyes, Ushijima turns to face my father who know retreats slowly. Quickly, I seize my friend’s distraction to kick him away from me.

 

“I’m coming, dad!” I rush towards Kōtarō, hugging him by the shoulders as we make our way to the dining room.

“Pillow fight, I assume” He utters awkwardly.

I can’t help but grin, blushing a little “Yeah”

 

A few moments later when Tetsurō, Ushijima and I sit at the table, the door bell rings. 

 

“Coming!” Kōtarō walks towards the door. “What a surprise! Come on in, how are you?” Dad sounds excited. 

“Is all good, Bokuto-san. It’s been a while” The guest replies. 

 

I smile at Tetsurō, wondering if he would tell me who it is. However, as soon as I realize who it is, I run towards the entrance. 

 

“Uncle Oikawa!” 

 

He smiles brightly, extending his arms to catch me. 

 

_‘Could you stop jumping around? Really? You want to reopen the wound?’_ The beast groans

 

“How are you dear?” He spins me around before putting me down. 

 

_‘A spineless mess, thanks for asking’_ The beast says nonchalantly, sharpening its claws. 

 

“I’m great!” I say, pushing the beast in my mind away. 

 

“Nice to see you, Oikawa-san” Tetsurō bows after he stands up. “Pleasant surprise, but you should have called for me to prepare a table for five” He resumes while looking for a fifth set of cutlery. 

 

“Is fine, take your time” Oikawa giggles “You make a ton of food anyways” 

 

Tetsurō grins at the comment, obvious irritated by Oikawa’s audacity. A grin I have known since I was little when we used to have dinner with the Iwaizumi more frequently. 

 

“Now, who is this young man” Oikawa turns to see Ushijima who bows to greet him. 

“Ushijima Wakatoshi, nice to meet you” 

Oikawa sits down next to me “My my, so polite” 

 

He stares at Ushi for a moment thoughtfully “Wait, you resemble someone I met years ago. Some Takashi I believe, from Shiratorizawa as well.”

“Really?” Kōtarō and I say in unison

 

“You are probably talking about my father” There is a hint of a smile on Ushijima’s face. 

 

“Well, that would explain it” Oikawa grins as he fills his bowl with rice “I remember him jokingly saying how I should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa instead of Aoba Johsai”

“I mean...” Kōtarō starts

“It is a really good school” Tetsurō, Ushijima and I finish the sentence, laughing afterwards. 

 

After a while, I turn back to see my beast looking at me from a dark corner of my mind. However, I do not confront it and turn back to reality to enjoy the company of the people around me. 

 

_‘Looks like its stay quiet when there is no way for conflict to start’_ I sigh after sipping on my tea. _‘Thank you Ushijima and Oikawa for having dinner with us tonight. I couldn’t have imagine being tormented by my thoughts all night long’_

 

“Oi, Ushijima-kun is captain of Shiratorizawa this year. And the ace as well!” Kōtarō points out. 

 

“Really? That’s great!” Oikawa turns to see Ushi “Are you planning to play volleyball after high school? For the national team, perhaps?”

 

“It would be an honor!” Ushijima bows. 

 

His grin is contagious, especially when I know how passionate about volleyball he is. 

 

“Did get to Sendai today, Oikawa-san?” Tetsurō changes the topic. 

“I got here yesterday since I have a few days off” Oikawa replies excitedly. 

“Coaching seems pretty lax these days” Kōtarō comments

“Not at all!” 

 

“Hmph, how strange” Tetsurō touches his chin “I swear I saw your car around downtown a few weeks ago.”

 

“Really? I am always back and forth so it shouldn’t be a surprise” Oikawa explains, grinning. 

 

“You are quite the busy man, I see” Tetsurō sips on his tea, smiling with his eyes. 

 

“Come on, love! You are the doctor here!” Kōtarō remarks. 

 

A few moments later, I offer to take the dishes to the kitchen so they can keep enjoying themselves. Ushijima helps me carry some utensils as well. 

“They are all so fun to be with,” Ushijima says in rather excited tone. 

With my hands submerged in cold water and soap, I turn to smile at him. 

 

“So are you”

* * *

ステラ :  おい、これビデオが看ってください  (Stella: Oi, kore bideo ga mittekudasai/ **Yo, check out this video** )

  


I read the link’s title and I chuckle. 

  


自 :  ＦＡＫＥ ＬＯＶＥ？

ステラ :  そんな良いビデオ！  (Son’na you bideo!/ **It is such a good video!** )

自 :  でも、韓国語が知らないよ  (Me: demo, kankoku-go ga shiranai yo/ **I don’t speak Korean** )

ステラ :  まあ、ちょうどそれを見って。できませんか？（ − ＿ − ；） (maa, choudo sore wo mitte. dekimasenka?/ **Just watch it, can’t you?** )

自 :  宜しい、宜しい。それを見ます  (Yoroshī, yoroshī. sore wo mimasu/ **Alright, alright. I’ll check it out** )

ステラ : ( ˊ̱ ˂˃ ˋ̱ )

In the darkness of my room, I watch the video on my phone screen. Stella often talks about how good their choreographies are and I cannot blame her. 

 

_‘You have some nice moves when you fight too; remember that one time you slit someone’s throat?’_

I sigh

 

A notification appears on the top of my phone. 

及川 :  ヨオーホオー！暇いますか？  (Oikawa: Yoohoo! Himai masu ka?/ **yoohoo! are you free?** )

 

_‘Fake love, fake love, fake love~’_

I pout at the thought of tapping on the notification right away. Stella shared this video with me and I shouldn’t dismiss it like this. 

 

After I finish watching the video, I text her. 

自 :  良いした  (Yoi shita/ **It was good** ) 

Quickly, I open Oikawa’s chat

自 :  明日、学校をあります、及川さん  (Ashita, gakkō wo arimasu, Oikawa-san/ **I have school tomorrow, Oikawa-san** )

Another notification

 

ステラ :  本当だ！歌もが好きなしたか？  (Hontōda! uta mo ga sukina shita ka?/ **I know right! Did you like the song too?** )

自 :  はい  (Hai/ **Yeah** )

Another notification

 

及川 :  すみません  (sumimasen/ **Sorry** )

及川 :  お望みならば、私にオナる～  (onozominaraba, watashi ni onaru~/ **Get off to me if you’d like to~** )

 

Stella texts back

 

ステラ :  君はぎこちなく聞こえるよ  (Kimi ha gikochinaku kikoeruyo/ **You sound a little awkward** )

ステラ :  それは我らに関しようではありません！  (sore ha warera ni kanshi yōde wa arimasen!/ **It is not like the song relates to us in anyway!** )

 

Another notification

 

及川 :  私は写真を送るべきですか？知らってよ。。。君に手伝うね～  (Oikawa: Watashi wa shashin wo okuru beki desuka? shiratteyo…kimi ni tetsudaune~/ **Should I send pictures? You know…to help you~** )

ステラ :  また、それはしばらくしている以来君は私を君の家に招待していない  (Mata, sore wa shibaraku shiteiru irai kimi wa watashi wo kimi no ie ni shoutaishiteinai/ **Also, you haven’t invited me to your house in a while** )

 

I pout at the frequency the two are texting me. 

 

及川 :  君は私を「及川さん」と呼ぶとかわいいですよね～  (Kimi wa watashi wo “Oikawa-san” to yobuto kawaii desuyone~/ **You are so cute when you call me Oikawa-san** )

ステラ :  君は中々ばかばかしいハハハ  (Kimi wa naka naka baka bakashii hahaha/ **You are quite silly hahaha** )

 

I facepalm, now a little more distressed. Almost instantly they text the following

 

及川 :  大好き =(^.^)= (I love you)

ステラ :  大好き ʕ• ᴥ •ʔ (I love you)

 

I lock the phone and toss it away. 

 

The notifications keep chiming anyways. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this sketch I made based on Ushi and Sayuri's scene from this chapter! : https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=69482433
> 
> Also, I think I won't be able to update next week since I am not quite done with the next chapter hehehehe. I have been quite focused on drawing lately (mostly for this story cause I am super invested in it as I hope you can see!) and I decided to start a youtube channel! (it is pretty crappy so far but you can see it by typing "chocceler")
> 
> I am actually going to post the process of the illustration on yt sometime next week so if you are interested please tune in!
> 
> Anyways, I hoped you like this chapter and the visuals and if there is anything you would like to see next please let me know!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading today and see you next time!


	25. Information Feed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you are all having a good day!
> 
> [PLAYLIST HERE](https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=hzZjAN_DSv2TQOWrUjO8Fg)
> 
> Enjoy!

_ ***play Hunnybee by Unknown Mortal Orchestra*** _

 

“Morning, dad” I sit facing Kōtarō at a table for two.

“How are you, son?”

“I’m good” 

 

The waiter pours cold water into my cup and asks for our orders. 

 

“You always order waffles, dad,” I remark

 

“What is brunch without waffles?” Kōtaro laughs

 

Every two Saturdays, Dad treats me to brunch. Different restaurants, but we always sit in the outer area when the weather is nice like today.  Just the two of us; it would be too awkward or problematic if we met at my place or his. 

 

“How is school?” 

 

I chuckle. He always begins these meetings with the same question. 

 

“Is alright. Not struggling with classes whatsoever”

 

“Good, good” He nods “How is volleyball then?”

 

_ ‘Same question pattern. Cute’ _

 

“The coach only allows me to be the pinch server” I smile, rather bitterly. 

 

“That’s strange, didn’t you play setter back in Tokyo?” Kotarō tilts his head. 

 

“Yeah, but Shīrabu-kun is more compatible with the team’s strategy”

 

“I see...” He touches his chin “Well, Akaashi was an astounding setter back in school so it is in your blood”

 

_‘So where did being a killer came from?’_

 

“Yeah, dad helped me grow as a setter back in middle school” I smile

 

“I imagine” He chuckles, definitely thinking about my father’s devotion to volleyball back in the day “Well, I could have asked if you opted to be an ace like I was back in school, but Ushijima-kun is definitely the sovereign king of Shiratorizawa” Kotarō laughs, patting my shoulder over the table. 

 

I look down, still smiling, however, “That stings a little, dad...”

 

Moments later, our food arrives. Kotarō starts eating vigorously, clearly enjoying his waffles. I carefully break the yolk of the fried egg, marinating a bit of corned beef in it. 

 

Due to our good appetite, it does not take us long to finish our meal. 

 

“Do you want some dessert, Eita-kun?” Dad asks, staring at me with puppy eyes. 

 

“I wouldn't mind a parfait” I giggle. 

 

Immediately, he motions the waiter to approach us. 

 

“I would like to order a parfait and chocolate cake please”

 

I glance at dad for his unhealthy choice. 

 

“I don’t think we do not have any chocolate cake left, sir, but let me double check inside” The waiter explains

 

“No worries!” Dad replies “In case there is no cake, please make that a strawberry sundae”

 

I raise my eyebrow at yet another unhealthy choice; one that Stella would follow. 

 

The waiter nods and leaves.

 

“Say, Eita-kun,” Kotarō says sternly after drinking some water. 

 

“What is it, dad?”

 

“I know you and Sayuri have had your differences, Eita-kun but please protect her for God sake,”  He pauses, sincerely smiling at me. “Both of you are quick to burst though you have your reasons. Yet you have to look after one another because even though your relationship is complicated,” Dad holds my hand “you two are family”

 

Dad concludes that mouthful by patting my shoulder. 

 

“I will look to it, thanks, dad” I smile

 

“And I know she cares for you better than any of us, even if she doesn’t show it” Dad adds laughing

 

I chuckle “Kuroo genes?” 

 

Dad nods and smiles “The Kuroo genes…” 

 

Somehow, what dad just said resembles what Ushijima said to us too. 

 

Shortly after, the waiter arrives with my parfait and a piece of chocolate cake which makes dad smile like a child. 

 

I dig on my parfait as well. 

 

_‘We are in good hands, Sayuri'_

 

* * *

After volleyball practice, I head out of school before all of them.

 

Or so I thought.

 

“Where are you heading, Bokuto-chan?” I hear Ushijima’s deep voice following me out of the gym.

 

“Home, of course” I turn to smile at him.

 

“Good” He smiles a little, walking beside me.

 

We head out of school in silent.

 

Moments after, I turn to face him, giggling.

 

“Were you going to ask me something, Ushijima-kun?”

 

“Why you say that?”

 

“It felt like you held something back”

 

“I never hold anything back”

 

“Ushi…”

 

He grunts softly “Fine,” He turns to face me “My mother was asking about you last night how she does not see you as often and all that. And, since your family invited me to have dinner yesterday, she wanted me to ask you to come to our house for dinner tonight.” He blushes slightly.

 

I look down, blushing, a bit embarrassed perhaps “That’s so nice of her…” I face him again. “I will ask my parents but they will probably say yes”

  
“They are invited too,” He chuckles

  
“Thank you!”

* * *

We arrive at the housing complex main gate.   


“Bokuto Kōtarō. To the Ushijima household, please” Kōtaro tells the gatekeeper from the driver’s seat. 

 

“Yes, Madam Ushijima awaits the Bokuto family”

 

A few moments later, the door opens and we proceed through the road uphill. The street is lit by rows of light poles on both sides which hits both the pavement and ornamental bushes to their sides with a lime green light. I can also see the lights of other houses to the far left. 

At some point, we encounter a bifurcation which marks the beginning of this labyrinth. However, we all know where we are going so I simply focus on staring at the, now occasionally, light poles. 

Right, right, left, rotunda, and ultimately a right. We arrive. 

 

Quickly, Tetsurō gets out of the car and walks to the left side to open the door for me. However, Kōtarō stops him by opening his own door, getting ahead. Kōtarō lends me a hand, but I just stare at him and shake my head. Ultimately, I wait for Tetsurō to also offer me his hand to take both of theirs and finally get out of the car. 

Kōtarō holds my right hand while Tetsurō holds my left. They are both wearing dress shoes, but while Tetsurō is wearing a black blazer over an all-black outfit, Kōtarō wears a dark gray blazer over a white turtleneck paired with black pants. Tetsurō fits my black coat which I wear over my shoulder and white, short jumpsuit. 

“This is an old habit we’ve got” Kōtarō notes as the three of us walk to the entrance while holding hands. 

“It is a fun habit though” I add which makes Tetsurō giggle. 

 

“By the way, it is rare of you to be wearing heels, Sayuri” Tetsurō stares at my black pair of high heels. 

“Yeah, and they are quite pointy two” Kōtarō notes as he rings the doorbell. “Are you sure you are not going to fall?” He smirks at me. 

I smirk back at him “My balance is quite good, not to say astounding, but thanks for worrying. Plus, I am literally taking them off as soon as we enter”

 

Kōtarō was about to make a witty comeback when Ushijima opens the door. 

We all bow as a greeting. 

As Ushijima reincorporates, I notice the red stripe running perpendicular to his V neck sweater, as well as the collar of his white dress shirt. Though Ushijima’s has a large build, his clothes tonight make him look a little more elegant than usual. 

“Please come in,” Ushijima moves aside to make way for us. 

 

As expected, my parents and Ushijima have to wait a bit longer for me to get off my heels. When I finally step in with the guest slippers, Tetsurō has a mocking grin on his face which makes me roll his eyes at him. 

We pass by the reception where Ushijima offers to hang our coats in a closet to our right. Parallel to the closet stands a mirror and a lean table to the side with an orchid and incense which subtlely perfumes the hall with a scent of lemongrass. 

 

Not long after we turn right, we walk in the living room. There, Ushijima-san sits on the couch with her legs crossed. The slit of her black dress begins right where her right knee bends and ends by her ankles where her golden sandals are buttoned. Ushijima-san extends her slender, right arm in which hand she holds a glass of wine. 

 

“Welcome!” Ushijima-san stands up, her long, black her waving gently to the side as she places her glass on the small, glass table next to the couch. 

We all bow

“You look terrific, Ushijima-san” Kōtarō compliments as he hugs her. 

“Likewise, Bokuto-san” Ushijima-san smiles, squeezing my father’s beefy arms over his shirt before letting go. “As of you, Tetsurō-san, you look less stressed than in the hospital” She smirks at my father as she approaches him. 

Tetsurō chuckles “I could say the same, Ririka-san” He hugs her. “I brought some wine” Tetsurō holds the fancy packaged wine forward for Ushijima-san to hold. 

“Thank you so much” Ushijima-san bows, then calling a maid to take the wine and bring drinks to us, guests. 

 

Eventually, her warm, olive eyes shift towards me. Immediately, we stand face to face; well, I am slightly taller than her. Nevertheless, I can clearly see her astonished face. 

“You look gorgeous, Sayuri-kun!” She gives me a warm hug “My, you have clearly grown to be a fine woman”

I giggle, feeling my cheeks blush “Nowhere near you, Ushijima-san. Also, I love your dress” I start to feel nervous, well aware that my speech is rather awkward now. 

 

Sneakingly, she stares at my breasts to then close in on me “What is your cup size now?” She whispers in my ear, giggling after seeing my flustered face. 

I am not used to be asked these type of question, in part because I don’t have a mother but two fathers. Tetsurō has tried to talk regularly about these kinds of things with me but it gets too awkward for both of us. However, Aunt Rose always seizes the opportunity to talk about girl stuff with me which I appreciate. I also appreciate Ushijima-san’s motherly instinct but I am not that close to her; last time I saw her was at a soirée two years ago. 

While I debate in which volume I should state I am a C, Ushijima-san holds my hand as she stares at my faintly bruised arm. 

 

“Sayuri has been practicing martial arts since last year” Tetsurō clarifies. 

“I see,” She smiles at me, then turning to face my parents “Well, she must balance her beauty with some ruthless strength, right, Wakatoshi-kun?” She addresses her son who is stand farther to my right. 

He nods, a bit taken aback by his mother question “She is good at it,” Ushijima adds

“You are quite gifted I see” Ushijima-san addresses me, still holding my hand “Let’s sit while dinner is ready” Ushijima-san suggests and I follow to sit next to her. 

 

Ushijima-san is intrigued by my extracurriculars, asking all sorts of questions such as how many matches I have won and if my volleyball skills have become better because of my parents or the volleyball team. The latter hurts Tetsurō’s ego a bit; nevertheless, he acknowledges Ushijima and the rest of the team. Moments after, another maid walks into the living room to announce that dinner is ready. 

“Could you serve the wine the Bokuto family brought, Nakiri-san?” Ushijima-san addresses one of the maids as we sit at the table. 

The maid nods, going back to the kitchen. She comes back with the bottle of wine along with another maid who brings nimono vegetables for starters and a set of tea for Ushijima and me. 

Ushijima-san tastes the wine first, approving it to then be served to my parents.

“So how is the office, Bokuto-san?” Ushijima-san asks Kōtarō as the maid pours wine into his glass.

“Marvelous! A lot of patrons and paperwork so it is really busy, but the reward is to help people and I am grateful”

“I am glad to hear that!”

After the three adults have wine on their glasses, they cheer along with us though I personally think it is awkward since I am holding a small cup of tea in contrast to their big wine glasses. 

 

After the vegetables, we are served suimono followed by otsukuri which makes me realize we are having Kaiseki ryori tonight. 

“What about you, Ushijima-san? How is the medical office?” Kōtarō asks after he finishes the otsukuri before anyone else as usual. 

 

“Is great! Well, I have to stay from 6:00 to 20:00 because of the dense number of patients. Sometimes, my secretary has to buy me lunch for me to eat when I have a chance because I have no time to go out on lunch break” Ushijima-san giggles 

 

“That’s no good mom, you have to take care of yourself” Ushijima comments, a prominent tone of concern over his usual stoic voice. 

 

“Nah, don’t worry too much Ushijima-kun. I usually see your mom around the hospital’s café” Tetsurō smirks. 

“Huh? When?” Ushijima-san smirks back at my father. 

“Two days ago,” Tetsurō says factually

“I had twenty minutes before the next appointment” Another factual comment from Ushijima-san

“That is a rather long break...”

“It is not”

“For someone as busy as you, Ririka-san....”

“How many patients you have during the day, Tetsurō-san?”

 

I, as Kōtarō, devouring the content of my plate at the same speed they are getting back at each other. 

 

“Anyways!” Kōtarō interrupts, making them switch their argument to a staring contest. “I came across quite the funny scene yesterday”

“Really? What about?” Ushijima-san dismisses Tetsurō’s gaze, turning towards Kōtarō. 

“These two were having a pillow fight yesterday” Kōtarō grins, slighting tilting his glass to point at Ushijima and me who are sitting across from him. 

 

I choke on my tea at the same time Ushijima stops midway of bitting a piece of meat off his chopsticks. 

 

“Oh, my! That must have been really funny” Tetsurō laughs

“Reminds me of my brother and me when we were younger” Ushijima-san giggles

“Though I have to say they are a bit too old for that” Kōtarō adds

“Unless...” The three of them say in unison, staring at us with sly faces. 

 

“No!” I shout defiantly, giggling and shaking my head after realizing I overreacted. 

“She started it,” Ushijima says seconds later, nonchalantly as he resumes eating. 

“No!” I nudge him

“Umm...I am pretty sure you did” Ushijima replies. 

Our parents are amused. 

 

After dinner, we sit back in the living room. Tetsurō and Ushijima-san are not bantering anymore after three glasses of wine, and Kōtarō is chatting lively as ever. However, neither Ushijima or I are participating in the conversation. 

“Is fine if you kids want to go hang out upstairs” Ushijima-san suddenly turns to address me

Immediately, Ushijima stands up from Kōtarō’s side on the other couch. 

I give him a patronizing glance. 

 

“Don’t worry! I am enjoying your company here” I nod, smiling at her

“Come on, Bokuto-chan,” Ushijima says 

 

I pout at him again for making this situation more awkward. 

_‘He really has no filter, does he?’_ I think to myself

 

“You can go, Sayuri, is fine,” Tetsurō says

“You two used to hang out upstairs all the time when you were little” Ushijima-san giggles, touching her face as she blushes at the memories “Tetsurō and I had to carry you two downstairs because you didn’t want to come down for dinner”

“Alright! I get it!” I stand up abruptly, blushing in embarrassment. 

“I know right! Though they would also spend time running around the garden, well, Sayuri mostly” Tetsurō remarks

“Is crazy to see them all grown up when they used to be so small and cute!” Kōtarō laughs, staring at us with loving eyes. 

 

“This got weird, bye!~” I take Ushijima’s hand and blast upstairs. 

“And I am still cute!” I shout down the hall, making sure they listened when I hear them laugh loudly. 

Ushijima chuckles as I drag him upstairs. 

 

When we get to his room, I let go of his hand. 

“Did you enjoy dinner?” Ushijima asks, sitting on his bed.

 

“Yeah,” I say, trailing my fingers through the vast shelves of books by his desk. “What about you?”

 

“It was nice, especially the repartee between our parents,” He says amusedly

 

I turn to see him, wondering if he is smiling. I am not let down when I see his lips slightly curved up.

 

“I believe they got more intense as we grew up,” I remark, smiling back at him.

 

As soon as I turn back to face the books, a royal purple journal with a yellow stripe catches my eye. Raising a brow, I take it out of the shelf and sit down on the revolving, desk chair.

 

“Though I have to say they reminded me of you and Ei—what?” Ushijima glances at me strangely as I suddenly turn to face him with a mischievous grin.

However, his stoic expression turns to shock when I raise the journal for him to see.

 

“Things.” I start reading the title.

“Sayuri stop”

 

“That.”

Ushijima clicks his tongue.

 

“Make me.”

He charges towards me.

“Happy!~” I take off on the chair in order to dodge him.

 

I am able to read the first paragraph as I go back and forth, evading Ushijima.

“Ushi! I didn’t know you felt this way!!” I screech, blushing at the adorable passages where he talks about the team.

“My heart beats slightly faster when Goshiki looks up to me when I compliment his plays. His big, dark eyes make him look like a puppy which makes me look forward to these moments. However, I try not to spoil either him or my joy.” I cite, trying to impersonate Ushijima’s stoic voice yet failing miserably as I am hit with this cuteness overload.

 

“Enough!”

Ushijima manages to corner me, but I hold the journal against my chest and look up to him with my puppy, well, owl eyes. 

“But I want to read about Nana Nakiri~” I pout.

Immediately, Ushijima looks away as he starts blushing. He dives into his bed, laying upside down.

“Fine!” He shouts, the sheets muffling his frustrated voice.

I giggle, spinning around as I flip to the next page.

 

As soon as I see the word ‘father’ I freeze, trying to look away before I invade his privacy further. 

Yet I wish to understand him better and this passage is something one could never forget. 

_Father called today. He last called three months ago which makes me really happy to hear him again. But hearing him again is too bittersweet since I last saw him in middle school, and especially after what happened last weekend at Mt. Izumigatake. Everyone is divided._

The paper is wrinkled and the ink smudged at ‘divided’. A dry tear. 

_But I am not alone, and I am grateful to have two men I can call Fathers. Even if the Bokutos don’t consider his son._

I sigh, closing the journal and setting it aside as I stand up. 

“You idiot” 

“What do you m—“

Ushijima reincorporates only to fall back with my embrace. 

 

“My parents always look forward to seeing you!”

 

“Sayuri...” He sounds surprised. 

 

“They care about you, we all do” I hold him tighter. 

 

But he pushes me away. Olive and amber eyes streaming twin rivers of tears.

“Why did you read that?” He sounds angry, hurting. 

“Because you keep important things to yourself”

“It is not that important”

“You are crying!”

“So are you”

“Because it is important”

By now, I am punching his chest. 

“Never, ever again suffer on your own”

He stares at me in awe. 

 

Minutes of silent, followed by hearing the vigorous beating of his heart. 

“I am sorry for being so selfish” I whisper between his arms. 

“Shhh” He caresses my back. 

 

Soon, the puddles of tears dry out and it is time for me to leave. 

“It was lovely to see you tonight, Bokuto-kun” Ushijima-san pulls me for a hug. 

“I feel the same, Ushijima-san. Thanks for having me”

“My pleasure. Also, I would love to have tea with you sometime next week so please come by!”

“Sure will!”

“Thanks for the invitation, Ushijima-kun” Tetsurō pats Ushijima’s shoulder. 

“Thanks for coming” He bows slightly 

“Do you have any games coming up, son?” Kōtarō hugs him by the shoulders. 

“I am not sure at the moment, but I will let you know, Bokuto-san” Ushijima replies. 

 

And so we leave, holding hands as we did in the beginning. 

On the way back, I stare again at the street-lamps with a grin of realization because of tonight. 

“Sayuri-kun,” My parents say in unison as we stop at a red light. 

I reincorporate and to find them staring back at me with wide smiles. 

 

“Ushijima’s father is visiting next week” They announce

 

My eyes are open wide as the car moves forward. 

I smile brightly at the good news, excited for Ushijima. 

“Say what?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made some [ILLUSTRATIONS](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=69693599) for this week's chapter!  
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> Until next time!


	26. Rumors Break Paper-Walls

“yoohoo~ Stella-kun!”

 

I smile, finding Oikawa’s head popping out the door frame. 

 

“Heyy~” I go back to read my manga “Are you on break?”

 

“Yup” He sits down in front of me

 

“It is weird that I didn’t hear dad calling you shittykawa,” I grin

 

“He is sleeping~” He whispers, holding my hand “Wanna go wake him up?” Oikawa smiles mischievously

 

“Well well,” I close the book, smirking at him “Since dad didn’t say it, and after that awful idea, I will say it,”

 

He holds his breath.

 

“Shittykawa”

 

“Ouch!” Oikawa pretends to hold his chest in pain as he falls back on the bed. 

 

“Anyways!” He swiftly reincorporates “How is everything?”

 

“Good! Classes are a bit tough though” I motion him to sit on the floor so I can play with his dye-maintained, brown hair. 

 

“Hang in there!~” He pats my arms. 

 

“Will do, will do~”

 

“Stop reading so much manga and focus~”

 

“Shut up~” I pull his hair. 

 

But instead of saying ‘owie~’ or something like that, he grins as one would when having a funny recollection. 

 

“How are things with Eita?”

 

My hands freeze for a second as I look down, blushing. 

 

“Is all good, well, he’s been acting a little off lately but exams are stressing us out so I can’t blame him” I pause for a second “Maybe I am a bit off too...” I say embarrassed. 

 

“Aw, what are you saying? There is nothing wrong with you honey!” Uncle Oikawa turns around to face me. 

 

“You think so? I can get a bit grumpy after all” I hop off the bed as Oikawa motions me to sit for him to play with my hair. 

 

“It is true you have Iwaizumi genes but you also have your mother’s charms!”

 

I giggle

 

“You don’t deserve to feel bad about yourself, Stella-kun, especially if it is about a guy”

 

“You are right~” I purr as Oikawa continually brushes my hair

 

“I mean,” He entwines his fingers on my hair “If you don't like him as before, just dump him!” He giggles. 

 

“That’s rather harsh,” I turn to face him, raising my eyebrows “Not all of us are heartbreakers like you, shittykawa” I pull on his left cheek

 

“Also, any new fling stories to tell me about?~” I bat my eyelashes at him. 

 

“I must keep the pure and sweet Iwaizumi Stella from R18 content” He holds my face. 

 

“I am eighteen, you fucking idiot” I glare at him “Where is my Gucci bag?!”

 

Oikawa starts to giggle nervously, trying to find a way to excuse why he hasn’t given me a present.

 

“Dinner is ready!” Mom stands at the doorway 

 

Uncle Oikawa stands up abruptly and leaves. 

 

“This is not over!” I grunt, standing up as well

 

* * *

 

_‘Why am I even here?’_ I sigh, ringing the doorbell 

 

It is a nice Saturday afternoon; warm enough for only having to put on a light cardigan. 

 

Ever since Ushijima visited, the last couple of days have been really calm and happy. The wound has closed for good. However, after these past months of nonstop drama, the sudden quiet has gotten unsettling. I could be laughing, having fun, but there is always this afterthought, wondering when will things go bad again. 

 

“Good afternoon, Bokuto-senpai” Kawanishi opens the door, letting me step in. 

 

So here I am again, anxious about ticking time bomb inside of me. 

 

_‘Well now this_ ** _is_** _something worth seeing~’_ The beast purrs

 

* * *

 

_‘Arashi’s! Arashi’s! A. RA. SHI.’_ The beast chants as a child that wants ice cream would as soon as I get out of Kawanishi’s house.

 

And as a tired, yet loving mother, I hesitate if I should treat her. 

 

Yet I, spontaneously, start to come up with excuses.

 

“Oi, Tendo” I start recording a voice message. “I don’t know if you are busy, but I want to invite you to the dojo today. It will be fun!”

 

However, the message takes too long to deliver and I start to grow impatient. 

 

“Fuck it” I grunt, starting to walk home. 

 

“Oi, Ushi” I record another message “I am on my way home to pick up my gear right now. Want to meet me at the dojo in 30?” 

 

As soon as I put my cell phone back in my pocket, it buzzes. 

 

牛島若利：もちろんです  (Ushijima: Mochiron desu/ **Sure** )

 

Another message pops up.

 

牛島若利： 10 分に君を拾うましょ  (Ushijima: juu bun ni kimi wo hiroi masho/ **I will pick you up in 10** )

 

I smile, resuming my walk.

 

* * *

 

“Good afternoon!” I greet as we both walk in the dojō.

 

Apparently, there is no one at the front so we keep walking inside. At the hall that separates the two gardens, I faintly hear Hikashikoi-san humming to my left. Before I slide the door open, I turn to see Ushijima; just to see how his stoic face would shift expressions.

 

And I am not let down. Though the way he folds his lips together as he almost unnoticeably tilts his head means a standard _‘not bad’;_  the way his olive eyes sparkle at both the sight and fragrant smell of the pink camellias Hikashikoi-san waters at the moment.

 

“How are you, kids?” Hikashikoi-san motions us to step in with a radiant smile.

 

“We are good, how are you, Hikashikoi-san?” I say as Ushijima and I simultaneously bow to greet her. 

“I am good, just watering the flowers” She points at the camellias “I see you brought a friend today!”

 

“Yes! This is Ushijima-kun. Ushijima, this is Hikashikoi-san, my sensei’s wife”

 

“Pleased to meet you, Ushijima-kun. I can see you are enjoying the garden” Hikashikoi-san does not fail to remark Ushijima’s astonished face. 

 

Ushijima blushes a little as he nods “Are those ardisias over there?” He points at the little green bushes planted among the weigelas, covering most of the left corner of the cubiform garden. 

 

“Yes, they are!” Hikashikoi-san replies excitedly, gesturing him to follow her in order to see the bushes up close. 

 

“They can be easily ruined by insects, but these are in a wonderful condition, Hikashikoi-san” Ushijima smiles at her. 

 

Seeing how Ushijima is going to go full gardener mode, I decide to speak up. 

 

“Uhm, sorry to interrupt, but I will leave you two to change clothes for a moment”

 

They turn to see me and nod. 

 

However, before I fully walk out of the garden, I hear the following.

 

“You are very gentle, Ushijima-kun” She giggles “Pardon my rudeness, but I am happy you prefer gardens instead of fighting. Out of two, one has to be gentle.”

 

I scoff, impressed by sensei’s wife own blunt lessons.

 

* * *

“Good afternoon!~” I walk in the dojō

 

“Oh, you are here early, Hinagu-kun” Sensei’s wife greets me. 

 

I simply nod. 

 

The lady wants to keep talking but I dismiss her as soon as I hear a conversation ahead. 

 

_‘Agh, all these Hokage-wannabe fuckers are here already?! Give me a break.’_

 

“What are you doing here, Tendo-chan?”

“You invited me, remember?”

 

I cannot help but smirk. 

 

_‘Oh, so it is_ **_that_ ** _fucker’_

 

So I crawl my way to the doorframe, as I have done many times before. However, there is no mortal risk and the information is richer. The walls are thin enough for me to see a bit more than their silhouettes. 

 

“I didn’t know this” The deep, masculine voice of the boy standing next to her sounds surprised yet hurt. 

 

“Anyways, I am glad I get to hang out with two of my best friends!” The other boy hugs them “I bet you are loving the garden, Wakatoshi-kun”

 

“Shhh, you will the disturb his beloved plants talking so loud, Tendo-chan” She giggles

 

“Is somebody else coming too?” Wakatoshi says. 

 

“Oho? Should I call Eita?”

 

My eyes widen. 

 

_‘Don’t you dare c—‘_

 

“—all that bastard”

 

I scoff after Sayuri finishes the sentence. 

 

Soon, I get bored and decide to step out. 

 

“Heyy~”

 

They turn to see me. Beautiful pairs of red, olive and amber eyes. What a sin; those paper walls dulled the colors of this intriguing picture. The scene is so vivid I actually try to hide a vicious grin taking over my face. 

 

_‘Oh!_ **_He_ ** _would be amused by this’_

 

* * *

“It is a school night, idiot” I grunt as I throw myself on the couch in Tendō’s room. 

 

“You can stay the night, Eita-chan,” Tendō says nonchalantly as he reads a manga, however, he soon catches the dirty nature of his comment and smirks at me. 

 

I roll my eyes and keep eating chips. 

 

“Did you catch Yamagata’s bad habits?”

 

“I guess. These are good” I keep munching.

 

“That’s not good, Eita-chan. You have to maintain your good shape if you want to keep your cute girlfriend” Tendō chuckles. 

 

“Then you have to gain some abs to date my hot sister” 

 

He chokes in surprise “The hell!? Did you really call Sayuri your hot sister?”

 

“We share some genes so she is bound to be good looking, plus the girl trains like a beast” I explain. 

 

Tendō stares at me in awe. 

 

“She is a hefty woman” I shrug

 

“This is so weird, please stop it” He covers his blushing face with a pillow. 

 

“Anyways, did you get your eye candy at the dojō?” 

 

“Y-yes? Though Ushijima seemed kind of upset”

 

“He always looks like that...” I squint my eyes, stating the obvious. 

 

“Nah, it was different.”

 

“How so?”

“He seemed annoyed by me”

“You are annoying, Tendō-chan” I raise my brows

 

“Agh!” Tendo lays on his back, knowing his argument is redundant by now. 

 

“You should learn how to phrase things better, Tendō-chan” I chuckle, standing up to discard the empty bag of chips. 

 

I do not know what ceased first, my laughter or my walking, but I am paralyzed now. 

 

Out of all the places, why do I have to find this goddamned seal here?

 

Abruptly, I toss the bag in the trash can and pick up the tiny plastic bag with the evil seal. 

 

“Why the fuck do you have this here?” I make Tendō stand up, grabbing him by the neck. 

 

“C-calm down!!” He grabs my hands, trying to escape my grasp. 

 

If I were joking, I would let him do so easily. But I am not, my grip hardening. 

 

“Explain.”

 

“It is f-from that one time! I forgot to throw it away” Tendō babbles, his face turning redder by the second “P-please let me go”

 

If he was any other person, I would have already beaten the shit out of him. But it is Tendō in front of me right now, and I must let him go before I start seeing him like any other bastard. 

 

So I throw him on his bed, shoving the bag in my pocket and walking away.

 

I do not dare to see his terrified face. 

 

 

 

 

Today, I take the darkest way home. The burning seal in my hand being the only source of light. 

And it feels as warm as the blood that has stained my hands in the past. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ILLUSTRATION!](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=69800165)
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> Thank you for reading!
> 
> p.s: I will be on hiatus for two weeks. Looking forward to create more of Bokuto Sayuri for you all!


	27. Where is Dignity?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see, everyone!
> 
>  
> 
> [PLAYLIST HERE!](https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=pf8FkFTcSYGM79Ael8seTw)
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

**_*play 400 Lux by Lorde*_ **

 

“Phew!” I sigh as I close my laptop. 

 

After lunch, I have been watching anime for two hours until now. Both my body and the atmosphere feels heavy so I get myself out of bed before I sink further. 

 

Yawning, I start to stretch, looking around my room to find something else to do. 

 

_‘Cook? Nah...Drawing? That’s more of a Stella thing...It is a Sunday, Sayuri, don’t bother training, please...Manga? Bitch, stop consuming content for a bit!!’_

 

Finishing that thought, I stand up straight and get some jogger pants out of a drawer. 

 

Later, I knock on my parents’ door. 

 

“Come in!” They shout

 

“I’m leaving to visit Te—wait, is that Blade Runner 2049?!?” I hop on the lower part of the bed while I finish zipping up my jacket. 

 

“This is the first time Kōtarō watches it” Tetsurō states before kissing Kōtarō’s neck as the latter stares at the screen in awe. 

 

“A group of colleagues were talking about it the other day and I felt left out...” Kōtarō explains, blushing in embarrassment. 

 

“Shame! You could have joined me in any of the fifteen times I have watched it!” I hit the mattress playfully. 

 

“Come on! It is cute for him to try to be trendy, just like when he was a younger” Tetsurō giggles

 

“I am trying to watch the movie, please...” Kōtarō says in a slightly annoyed tone. 

 

“Well, well” I walk towards the door “I will go for a jog to visit Tendō. Let’s talk about the movie during dinner!”

 

“Okay, honey, have fun” Tetsurō nods

 

“We will!” Kōtarō exclaims

 

Moments after, I start jogging, sure to find good company. 

 

* * *

 

“Hello, Tendo-san!” I smile brightly

 

“Hello, Sayuri-kun! So pleased to see you here!” She motions me to come in with a warm smile. “Did you jog all the way here?”

 

“Yup!” 

 

“Oh my, I wish Tendō didn’t spend so much time up in his room” She touches her cheek, smiling in embarrassment. 

 

“I mean, it is also nice to get cozy, especially in this weather” I chuckle “I will probably get a cold after running” 

 

“Oh no! Let me serve you some tea” She hurries towards the kitchen

 

“I don’t want to be a bother” I scratch the back of my head, giggling

 

“I insist! Please, sit down”

 

And so a superficial greeting to Tendō’s mom turned out to be a lengthy girls’ talk unfolded around the kitchen isle. 

 

“Look at the time!” I seize to say in a pause “I should probably go say hi to Tendō and head out soon”

 

“Is okay, honey, I can drive you home if you’d like so you can have more time to hang out with Satori-kun” She smiles, placing her chin above her palm. 

 

“Thank you very much” I stand up, bowing “I won’t take long”

 

Soon, I walk outside the kitchen and make my way upstairs. However, I quickly eye the living room and smile at how cozy the house looks. I am also glad Tendō’s parents are not away for these stressful times with exams and other things. Tendō may not show it or say it but he feels very lonely every now and then; even though he says it's cool to be home alone, with no rules whatsoever. 

 

**_*stop music*_ **

 

Swiftly, I slide the door open. 

 

“Ololo?” I grin, hands on hips. 

 

But my mouth freezes in that grin, and frozen skin gets torn apart with every centimeter my mouth shifts. 

 

Tendō stops mid-sniff, covering his powdered nose as soon as he notices me. His shocked eyes are bloodshot, matching the color of his irises. 

 

We stay like this for a few moments, just staring at each other in utter confusion, unable to process nor react to the scene unfolding. Then, hundreds of options cross my mind. I want to hit him in so many ways that my hands cannot move. 

 

But my hands go for what they really want: a paper towel. Immediately, Tendō stands up, his eyes jumping in panic. 

 

“Please don’t! C-come on, that stuff is expensive you cannot just throw it away,” He starts bargaining in a nervous tone

 

I snap my neck to stare at him as I swiftly wipe the cocaine off the table. 

 

Before Tendō goes hysterical, I silently go and throw away the napkin. 

 

However, almost instantly he crawls to get the content in the trashcan; like a desperate, homeless man who has seen food or money lying on the floor. 

 

I take the back of his shirt and pull him away as the last bit of dignity the homeless man must have. 

 

“It was just one line, I swear!” Tendō claims, protecting his face with his arms as I flip him to face me. 

 

“Do you think I am stupid?!” I gulp, realizing Tendō-san is still downstairs and the door is wide open. 

 

**_*play Malamente by Rosalia*_ **

 

I hurry to close the door, then turning back to reprimand him. 

 

“There were three lines set up and the trace of two others before the one you were sniffing” I whisper-yell, pointing my finger at him. 

 

Tendō pouts, crossing his arms. 

 

I sigh, holding his face with both hands “What’s wrong with you?” I say with worry

 

Immediately, Tendō slaps my hands away. 

 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? Cutting up a kouhai weekly, really?” He basically growls

 

I freeze in place, shocked by his audacity. Nobody knows that, and Arashi could never tell anyone, so I begin to panic. But my pride kicks in and I get irritated. 

 

“How the fuck would you know?” I lean closer to him, menacing him with my eyes. 

 

“Your dojō friend told me”

 

“Who?”

 

Tendō rolls his eyes

 

“You should think twice before telling anyone about this,” He says as I am about to grab the neck of his shirt again

 

Now, I finish grabbing him with force, crossed arms against his neck; slightly shaking him back and forth. 

 

“Are you saying I am a snitch?” I growl, trying to keep my voice low. 

 

“Whoa whoa” He raises his hands, smirking at me “I am just telling you to be careful”

 

I scoff “Or what?”

 

“Mhmm” He smiles slyly “I mean...you could go to jail”

 

I laugh, letting go of the brakes into this madness “You motherfucking snitch” Shaking my head, I push him against the wall

 

“I just don’t want to be found out, you know?”

 

“Is that worth putting me in jail for?”

 

“It would keep people safe too”

 

Those words put my incredulous grin in the dirt. My grip softens, hands now resting on his chest. 

 

“What? It is also a way to get you in anger management”

 

“How can you be so cynical?” I shake my head, saying the prior almost inaudibly. 

 

“I am only being honest with you,” 

 

“Why are you doing drugs?” I squint my eyes, realizing he might be avoiding talking about the issue on hand. 

 

“Because I feel like it”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Yes”

 

“Bullshit”

 

“Well...”

 

“How often?”

 

Tendō looks to the side, smiling vaguely. 

 

“Why are you doing this?” I shake him

 

He sighs, turning to see me again “Because it helps me escape! Just as you escape with fighting” Tendō says, exasperated

 

“I am not damaging my body as bad!” 

 

Tendō holds me by the waist, his thumb caressing the exact spot where Arashi cut me. I sweat cold. “Are you really?”

 

My eyes widen “What the hell?” I push him away

 

“So it is true” He looks down

 

“Who the fuck told you all this?”

 

“Does it matter? Just stop it, Sayuri” Tendō places his hands on both sides of his head

 

“As if you could talk” I scoff, looking away

 

“At least I am not fucking other people up!”

 

“Not directly” I roll my eyes “But where are you getting the money for this, huh? And I warn you not to get high before a match because I am not going to let you trample over the team’s efforts because of your vices”

 

“Oh please!” Tendō laughs “I can make better decisions than you ever will in this condition”

 

“You are talking a lot of shit right now”

 

“Stop being so nosy! It is my life!”

 

“You are being irrational”

 

“Do you think you have the right to tell me what to do when you are the one doing things behind my back?!”

 

“So are you!”

 

Tendō scoffs “Everybody does shit behind my back. Mom, Dad, you, Eita has also been shady as fuck. Hell, he has always been kind of sketchy ever since I met him.”

 

“What are you saying now?” I raise my brows in annoyance yet worry

 

“Sure, I annoy Stella a lot, but we do not talk as often as before, even Ushijima has been drifting away lately...” Tendō now walks around, lost in his monologue

 

“Oi, what’s wro—“

 

I try to grab his shoulder, but he turns abruptly and holds me by the wrist. 

 

“Do you ever feel like you don’t know the people closest to you at all?”

 

Tendō’s eyes are watering; his reddened scleras making his depressing face more chaotic. 

 

“Yes, yes I do” I nod, slowly holding his face and wiping his tears off with both thumbs. “Now, now, calm down please”

 

He nods, letting me guide him to his bed in order to sit. I let him take deep breaths for a few minutes until he calms down. This is honestly a hell of a situation, and it is sad to think Tendō might be acting right now so he won't have to explain himself. 

 

“Until when?” I caress his back, talking now that Tendō seems more relaxed. 

 

“I don’t know” He says under his breath as he leans over, forearms on his knees

 

“Until when?”

 

“I don’t know” He states a little louder

 

“Tendō...” I sigh

 

“I don’t know, okay? It is hard” He reincorporates

 

“Was that the first time?”

 

Tendō looks away, nodding just one time

 

“Because I hit you?”

 

“Because my thoughts were bothering me”

 

I sigh, hugging him as I let myself fall on the bed, dragging him along. 

 

“Just what kind of monsters are we?” I smile bitterly

 

“Guess Monster and Receive Demon they say” Tendō sighs

 

“I think we have become something else” I hug him tighter

 

“I agree”

 

“How do they call us now?”

 

“I rather not know”

 

“Agreed”

 

“You have always like the obscure things” Tendō chuckles vaguely

 

“No more than you”

 

And we lay there for a while. Well, I opt to lay across his abdomen eventually. 

 

“Say, Sayuri-chan”

 

I turn on my side, facing Tendō who lays with arms underneath his nape. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why do you fight?”

 

I chuckle “I do not know sometimes”

 

“And when you do?”

 

He stares into my eyes, clearly knowing I am not a brute without resolution. I smile away from him, acknowledging his observation. 

 

“For my family” I stare back at Tendō “to go back to live happily with them”

 

“Mhmm” He raises his brows “I am sure you are creating more trouble, and your family life is awesome”

 

“Maybe” I nod “But see, they too are not satisfied with our current situation. They do not say it, but they are suffering in silence.”

 

Tendō widens his eyes. 

 

“And I am the one crying out my pain”

 

He nods in acknowledgment, and I feel relieved to state this clearly. 

 

“Why do you get high?” I ask again, hoping to get a clearer answer this time. 

 

“I am not clear”

 

“Promise me you would leave it”

 

Tendō smiles unapologetically.

 

“I can’t promise that”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [FEATURED ILLUSTRATION!](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?illust_id=70274854&mode=medium)
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> okay, so to ~celebrate~ I am about to hit the 30 chapters mark (!!!) what about we make a Q&A? I will answer all your questions on the endnotes of chapter 30!
> 
> so don't be shy and ask away! [REMEMBER YOU CAN COMMENT WITHOUT HAVING AN ACCOUNT!]
> 
> Until the next chapter!


	28. Sweet Vanilla Camouflaged in Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Had a bit of trouble getting the additional content done but here we are with the best I can bring you!
> 
>  
> 
> [PLAYLIST HERE!](https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=pf8FkFTcSYGM79Ael8seTw)
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

**_*play Liability by Lorde*_ **

 

_‘Why did mom make me wear a tie?’_

 

As I pout, tying it by my own, someone knocks the door. 

 

“The Bokuto family and Ushijima-dono are waiting in the garden, Wakatoshi-dono” Nakiri announces

 

“Coming. Thank you, Nakiri-san” I turn my head to nod at her. 

 

After the door closes, I stare at myself deeply in the mirror. So far so good, I only need to remove my glasses before leaving. As I turn around to check myself from all angles, I notice my dress shirt hugs my figure perfectly. 

 

I am about to step out of the room, and then I realize. 

 

_‘Did mom pick this outfit because of Sayuri?’_

 

I run back to see my reddened cheeks in the mirror, shaking my head at the irrational thought. 

 

Finally, I make my way downstairs, yet feeling a little too self-aware. 

 

They are all already sitting in the tea room. The small, squared room sits in the middle of the garden, connected to the main structure by an unroofed hall. The doors are open, letting the garden be seen from all four sides. 

 

“Hello, thank you for coming” I bow to greet them. 

 

“Hello, Ushijima-kun” They bow back

 

As I sit next to Sayuri, I cannot help but notice how she wears a white dress shirt similar to mine. Yet instead of a blue tie, she has a silk scarf, fashionably tied around her neck. 

 

“So you too” Sayuri smirks

 

“Did they...”

 

She nods fast with widening eyes as to say her parents insisted on it. 

 

I chuckle and pour tea in my cup. 

 

As always, the adults are talking lively, and my interactions with Sayuri mostly consist of passing the snacks around. I have always found it interesting, how she is the loudest extravaganza when we are with friends, after Tendō and Yamagata of course, yet with family or any adult, she is composed, and even shy at times.

 

“Say, Sayuri-kun” Mom addresses her

 

“Yes, Ushijima-san?” Sayuri puts the rice cake she was eating back on her plate. 

 

“Did Wakatoshi drive well the other day you two went to the dōjo? See, he was in a hurry as soon as you called him, begging me for the car keys and everything”

 

Sayuri’s parents giggle so, does she. 

 

“Mom...” I utter, slightly embarrassed

 

“Yeah yeah, Ushijima-kun drove well. Nothing to worry about” Sayuri states, still chuckling

 

“Good you have been taking your driving lessons seriously, Ushijima-kun” Bokuto Tetsurō smiles

 

“Yeah! Served you kids right when you went to the mountains that weekend” Bokuto Kōtarō says proudly

 

For a second the tea tastes bitter. If they only knew what happened...Yet I force myself to smile a little to keep appearances. 

 

“Yeah!” Sayuri laughs openly “Thanks to Ushijima-kun, we arrived safely! That was a fun weekend!” She smiles radiantly. 

 

I am confused. Sayuri, who those events hit harder, is able to lie with ease, even exaggerating her reaction. She has never been a good liar, honest to the core, and seeing her express like this gives me goosebumps. I know she is simply making a good cover, but I cannot shake the thought she could easily be able to lie about something major. 

 

They keep talking as I continue to analyze her reaction. 

 

“Oh, who might that be?” Bokuto Tetsurō sets his teacup back on the table. 

 

“Did you invite someone else, mother?” I raise my brows, wondering who could it be. 

 

Mom simply smiles, turning around to tell Akagi, a maid, to receive our guest. 

 

I feel a bit irritated, well, also anxious. From the volleyball court, and classroom to my house and personal belongings; I like to keep things in order. I have always lived by rules and hate chaos and the unpredictable, reasons why I hate the events of that weekend so much. 

 

Now, I am holding my knees underneath the table as they talk casually. To be honest, I do not want anyone else here who are not the people sitting around me. Right, Tendō, Shīrabu, Ōhira and the rest are dear friends to me, but the people here are family. And I cannot stress enough how protective I am to the things dear to me. 

 

“ こんばんは (konbanwa/ **good afternoon** )”

 

I look away from the tea set to the person speaking, and I cannot help but take back what I just thought. 

 

The man standing before me looks more familiar than my reflection in the mirror. Yet this reflection looks more relaxed in contrast to my fidgeting lips and alert eyes. 

 

“Dad?” I stand up

 

“Surprise, surprise” He giggles as I lock him in my arms. 

 

His cologne is still the same sweet-scented oak as the last time we met. Knowing him, and he knowing me, he probably used it today to appear familiar to my senses. 

 

“How are you, son?” He pats my back. 

 

I simply nod

 

Eventually, I let go. The tiny stubs of his growing beard are an ever so slightly mark of the four years that have passed; so are the wrinkles around his eyes.

 

“When did you—“

 

“I invited him”

 

I turn to see mom. She looks a bit uncomfortable yet she is genuinely smiling for my re-encounter with father. Mother’s family basically vanished father and thinking she only did this for me, for my happiness, fills me with joy. Yet I must admit feeling a little guilty for having them but my happiness over theirs. 

 

I smile back at her as my eyes start to water. 

 

“Why don’t you come seat Takashi-san?” Bokuto Kōtarō diverges the others’ attention from my dumbfounded face. 

 

And so we seat, having tea and a small talk as if life were so simple. 

 

Sayuri holds my shoulder laughing at a joke father made and seizes the opportunity to whisper in my ear. 

 

“We are the lucky few, huh? Able to escape from the forbidden fruit in the garden”

 

I am not sure if that was her or my subconscious. 

 

* * *

 

“You are going to be late, Eita-kun,” Dad says, vaguely knocking on the door. 

 

“I’m coming” I purr, sinking deeper in the coziness of my bed. 

 

The pillow I am hugging is warm and soft. It moves.

 

I start to hear a heartbeat. 

 

“Morning~” The pillow whispers in my ear and kisses my cheek. 

 

Soon enough, I open my eyes. Two beautiful, chocolate eyes staring back at me. 

 

I kiss Oikawa’s lips.

 

And then it hits me. 

 

“Eita-kun” Dad calls me again. 

 

Quickly, I grab Oikawa’s head and push him further down the futon, covering the top with a bunch of pillows. 

 

Seconds after, dad slides the door open. 

 

“Okay, okay,” I raise both hands “I am awake”

 

“Hurry up, please” Dad rolls his eyes “Your breakfast is getting cold”

 

When he closes the door, I let out a sigh, falling back on the bed again. 

 

Slurping sounds and my lower half is burning underneath the sheets. I smirk, pulling the covers away to see Oikawa giving me head. 

 

“I have to get ready, you know?” I cross my arm beneath my head. 

 

“Let me finish you in the bathroom, then,” Oikawa says, his lips intentionally brushing my tip. 

 

“Messy shower sex is always an appealing fantasy” I chuckle, standing up. 

 

* * *

 

Tendō starts to clap loudly, causing the rest of the student in the cafeteria to look at us. 

 

“ お誕生日おめでとうございます ,  大平くん！ (otan joubi omedetougosaimasu, Ōhira kun!/ **happy birthday Ōhira-kun!** )” 

 

In contrast, Ushijima claps gently, making the rest of us follow his example. Well, except Yamagata who is repeatedly patting Ōhira’s back. 

 

“Isn’t Yamagata-san conscious that his back still aches or what?” Shīrabu says in an irritated tone. 

 

“Come on,” Goshiki squeezes Shīrabu’s right shoulder “Ōhira-san is probably not thinking about that today, Shīrabu-senpai” He giggles. 

 

I cannot help but smile at these two when Shīrabu’s frown softens because of Goshiki’s words. 

 

“You look so relaxed this morning, Eita-kun” Stella caresses his slightly wet hair. 

 

He smiles as he munches on his soba noodles. 

 

“He is probably stoned” I smirk before taking another bite off my salmon salad. 

 

Immediately, Tendō cautiously stares at me. 

 

“That or he had a good orgasm,” Tendō says nonchalantly. 

 

Eita chokes on his soba noodles which makes the whole lot of us laugh. 

 

Yamagata whistles. 

 

Kawanishi approaches our table, with a big, vanilla and strawberry cake. 

 

“Happy Birthday, Ōhira-senpai! Thank you for being such a good friend” Kawanishi bows, setting the cake in front of Ōhira. 

 

“Y-you didn’t have to, Kawanishi-kun” Ōhira laughs nervously while the blush on his face increases alarmingly. 

 

Stella kicks my legs so I look at her. Her fujoshi eyes are sparkling and I cannot help but giggle. 

 

“Is it me or these two are getting really close?” Tendō whispers in my ear. 

 

I simply nod, still eating. 

 

After finishing lunch, Ōhira slices the cake and we are all silently eating it. 

 

“Say, everyone”

 

We all look up to Tendō. 

 

“You know what would be fun?”

 

“You shutting the fuck up and letting me finish this delicious cake in peace?” Eita smirks. 

 

I kick his legs, making him wince. 

 

“Let’s go to the club tonight!” Tendō resumes. 

 

“Hell yeah!!” Yamagata’s eyes sparkle and the rest nod in agreement. 

 

“Is Friday after all” Stella giggles

 

“What time?” Ushijima and Shīrabu say in unison which makes Goshiki scoff. 

 

“No, no, no” Tendō shakes his head “I’ll show you all how Sendai really parties tonight”

 

Of course, Tendō looks at me, probably thinking about the night I ran away to Tokyo. 

 

I roll my eyes

 

“We will see” I reply

* * *

“Can you believe what Kawanishi said?” Stella puts the manga she is reading on her lap as her hair dries. 

 

Some ladies who are also sitting in the dryers turn to eavesdrop on Stella. I do not know if it is always like this, but when I come with Stella to this hair salon, she is always the life of the party. 

 

“Are you reading a party scene on that BL?” I giggle. 

 

“Duh!” She raises her arms “Imagine what would have happened: a shy kouhai gets drunk and his senpai takes care of him which makes him blush and confess his feelings. Agh! Who knows? Maybe even birthday sex!!” Stella puts her hands on her face. 

 

“Stella-chan!” I exclaim, a bit embarrassed since the women around us are laughing. 

 

Stella pretends to sob, yet I believe her soul is truly weeping. 

 

“You do not have to reprimand her” The lady doing my pedicure says

 

“I just don’t want her to weird out your customers”

 

“Hey!” Stella puts down her manga again

 

“You are going to see Shīrabu and Goshiki so calm down!” I shake my hand around

 

“Careful with your nails, Bokuto-kun,” The lady warns me as she is about to paint my foot nails. 

 

“Sorry” I put my hands on the table

 

“Can you bring me juice when your nails dry, Lily-chan?”

 

“Sure, just don’t shout so your throat won’t dry further”

 

“Lily-chan!”

 

“Oh my God”

* * *

“It’s going to be cold tonight” I state as Stella strikes poses in front of the mirror with her white, strap dress. 

 

“Well then...” Stella pulls a burgundy, faux fur petit coat out of the closet

 

“Bombastic,” I giggle as she bats her lashes, covering half of her face with the neck of the coat “just like you”

 

I stand up to try on my long, black coat. 

 

I turn to look at her, posing with my hand on one hip, letting the coat fall off my left shoulder in order to reveal my velour, indigo strapped top, and shorts with a laced, knee-length skirt.

 

“You are dressing as the night itself” Stella remarks with awe in her voice. 

 

I chuckle, turning around to finish my makeup. 

 

_‘The night itself, huh?’_ The beast stands beside me in the mirror. _‘Looks like what Kawanishi said made you think a little’_

 

_‘Black makes you go unnoticed in the dark’_ I tell the beast _‘Kawanishi-kun was not wrong when he said we could be targeted’_

 

The beast giggles _‘Black is camouflage but not necessarily armor’_ It caresses my left thigh _‘Unless…’_

 

I glare at it.

 

_‘Girl, I really hope you do not have to use it’_ The beast pats the small leather pouch strapped around my leg where I hold a stiletto knife. _‘Tell me something, does Arashi’s collection excites you more than it scares you?’_

 

“Eita-kun is here!” Stella announces as we hear a car pull up on the front, soon hopping out of the room like a bunny.

 

_‘Off with you.’_ I turn around to follow Stella. The updraft created by my jacket dissipates the illusion of the beast.

 

“Have fun, kids!” Stella’s parents see us off the house.

 

“Don’t bring Stella back too late, Bokuto-kun!” Iwaizumi-san says to Eita in his usual overprotective father voice.

 

“Dad!” Stella shouts as she hops in the copilot seat.

 

“Please relax, Iwaizumi-san” I giggle, bowing at him “I will protect her, as always” Both these words and the cold metal pressed against my thigh make me shiver.

 

Iwaizumi-san sighs in relief, patting my shoulder in gratitude.

 

As soon as Eita steps on the gas, Stella blasts the stereo.

 

“I have a great feeling about tonight!” Stella shouts over the music, raising both arms.

 

“And I promise to protect that!” Eita speaks over the music as he holds her hand, smiling sweetly at her.

 

I grin from the backseat as the heavy bass mixed with anxiety vibrate over my body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [FEATURED ILLUSTRATIONS!](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=71168942)
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> remember to submit your questions in the comments below for the Q&A in chapter 30!
> 
> so don't be shy and ask away! [REMEMBER YOU CAN COMMENT WITHOUT HAVING AN ACCOUNT!]


	29. Delinquent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> [PLAYLIST HERE!](https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=pf8FkFTcSYGM79Ael8seTw)
> 
> Enjoy!

Eita, Stella and I arrive at the club in the center of Sendai city. There is a bunch of people queueing up to enter.

 

“Where are the others?” Stella starts to tap her heels, getting impatient. 

 

Seconds after, the revving of a car sounds over all the chit-chat of the people around us. 

 

“I think I hear them” Eita smirks 

 

**_*play Now & Later by Sage the Gemini*_ **

 

Two black SUVs parked in the alley. Right after, Tendō hops off, followed by the rest. 

 

“Yo!” Tendō waves at us

 

“Holy shit” Stella gasps

 

“You are here, Kawanishi-kun!” I raise my brows in surprise as I see him hop off the van. 

 

“I convinced him!” Ōhira says proudly

 

“Yeah” Kawanishi blushes as Ōhira hugs him by the shoulders. 

 

“Oh, this is gonna be so fun” Yamagata gets out next

 

“You are looking sharp, Bokuto-senpai!” Goshiki hurries to get out of the car and compliment me

 

“Thank you, thank you” I bow, chuckling

 

“Don’t be so impatient, Goshiki” Shīrabu sighs as he approaches us with Ushijima walking next to him “You do look wonderful tonight, Bokuto-san”

 

“Just because I am wearing heels does not mean I am suddenly five years older than you, but thank you, Shīrabu-kun” I giggle

 

“No compliments for me, then?” Stella snuggles in her coat, pouting. 

 

“You look amazing without a doubt” Goshiki, Shīrabu and I say in unison, looking away as we blush. 

 

“Then what does Ushijima-kun think?” Stella raises a brow “Who is prettier tonight, Bokuto-chan or me?”

 

Ushijima smiles, about to start speaking when we hear sudden clapping. 

 

“Why are we still outside?” A guy in an extravagant, leopard print fur coat and slicked-back brown hair addresses us. 

 

Immediately, my eyes widen. He is definitely one of the people that passed out in Tendō’s room that night. I was about to start yelling but Tendō hurries to his side before I start waving my fist at him. 

 

“Everyone, this is my friend Rikiu Aba!” Tendō pats his back. 

 

“And I am friends with the owner of this place so let’s get going, you all!” He turns around and signal us to follow him. 

 

“This guys looks like a delinquent” Stella whispers 

 

I am about to say something when someone bumps into me from behind. I turn around about to confront the person, but as soon as I see it is a tall, bulky man, I hesitate. 

 

“Eek!” Stella jumps back as soon as she realizes

 

“Oh!” Rikiu laughs as soon as he turns around to see the commotion “Don’t be scared of our bodyguards”

 

Stella and I simply look at each other, holding hands to resume walking. 

 

_‘Just who the hell is this guy?’_

 

* * *

 

It sure did not take long for Stella to be just peachy again as soon as we got settled in our VIP lounge and Rikiu told her she could have all the Midori she wanted. 

 

In my case, I am still a little worried with a bad feeling in my gut. I let out a big sigh when I sit on a couch. 

 

Meanwhile, Tendō and Yamagata are jumping around as they open a bottle of champagne. 

 

“They sure had quite a bit at the pregame” Shīrabu sighs as he sits beside me. 

 

I simply chuckle, observing how Tendō and Yamagata pour eleven glasses of the liquid

 

“ かんぱい！ (Kanpai!/ **Cheers!** )” We all raise our glasses

 

If I were to rank who downed their first glass first, I would say Rikiu followed by Tendo. And at an unexpected third place, Shīrabu followed by Stella. Of course, they soon opened the second bottle. 

 

“The main DJ starts playing in half an hour. Then we can move to the heavy liquor! But you can go anytime for unlimited drinks at the VIP bar to your left” Rikiu explains

 

“Alright!” Tendō and Stella cheer, hugging each other’s sides

 

“Oi, Tendō is touching your girl, what are you gonna do about that?” I smirk at Eita as he sits down. 

 

“Tendō only cares about you so I wouldn’t worry” Eita smirks back at me

 

“Um, what?” 

 

“You are blushing. How cute”

 

“Are you just assuming shit or has he actually said anything?” I scoot closer to Eita

 

He shrugs.

 

“Oh come on, Eita-kun!” Rikiu seats next to me. Up close, I get to see the piercing on his eyebrows, nose, and tongue. Also, a greyscale flower pattern tattoo crawling from his neck to clavicles; maybe even further down which his t-shirt covers.

 

Instinctively, Eita and I look his way with hostile eyes.

 

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, Bokuto siblings” Rikiu chuckles “Tendō actually talks a lot about you, Sayuri-kun” 

 

I become aware of my knife when I see his hand reaching towards my head. Yet I avoid conflict and let him. 

 

“Such pretty, raven black hair” Rikiu brushes the side of my neck and soon lets go. 

 

“Yeah?” I smirk “You have a nice mullet going on there”

 

I brush off some of the hair covering his neck, discovering the red tail of some animal tattooed on there. 

 

_‘He really looks like a fucking delinquent’_ I pull my hand away as quickly as possible. 

 

“Stand up,” Eita says abruptly behind me

 

“What?”

 

“Leave, go with the others, now” 

 

Honestly, I do not wish to hear another word from that freak for the night so I follow Eita’s command for once. 

 

“Leaving already? I was about to tell you all the juicy details!” Rikiu extends his hand, trying to reach me. 

 

“You stay here with me, you fu—“

 

“Lily-chan! Wanna go to the bar with me?” Stella cuts Eita off

 

I look back and forth, not knowing what to do know. Eita looks rather aggressive at the moment yet I do not wish to be part of any violent act at least for tonight. 

 

Stella, even though she is much smaller than me, pulls me towards the bar with ease. 

 

_‘Funny how you can be as light as a feather in distress when you are normally heavier than steel’_ The beast grins

 

“I got kind of tired of champagne and I honestly do not want to wait until later to get liquor,” Stella says to me after she orders two glasses of Midori Sour

 

I nod, turning around to see Eita and Rikiu. At least Eita let go of him. 

 

“What were you guys talking about? Because it looks like those two are having a heated conversation” Stella giggles, handing me one glass.

 

“I don’t even know” I sigh as I take a sip, still looking their way

 

“Are you drunk already?” Stella laughs “who would say, the tough, high-tolerance Lily-chan is—“

 

I squint my eyes at her, downing my glass. 

 

“Another!” I tell the barista

 

With a sly smile, I turn to see Stella. 

 

“So that’s how it is then...” She pushes her glass forward for the barista to refill

 

“You are going down”

 

“Make that whiskey, please” 

 

* * *

“Bokuto Eita in the flesh” Rikiu shakes his head, stupefied “The bloodhound of the  マ —“

 

“You shut the fuck up” I am about to grab the collar of his shirt yet I hesitate when I see all my friends around me, avoiding to cause a ruckus

 

“I see your bloody instincts are starting to show” Rikiu smirks, aware that I cannot do anything here

 

“You planned this” I clench my teeth “I swear if you plan to do something to **any** —“ 

 

“Oh no, not at all! We are honestly here for a good time! Tendō wanted to party and I simply complied”

 

“Just as you comply with his fix” I roll my eyes “You scum of a drug dealer”

 

“Looks like you have not forgotten our symbol,” Rikiu remarks rather proud “Just out of curiousness, but do you have it tattooed in red or purple? Oh! or in beautiful colors like—“

 

There. I put my hand over his mouth, knowing that calling the attention of the rest is better than letting me get carried away by his next words. Rikiu smiles with his eyes.

 

“Ah, still hurts, I bet,” He says when I let go.

 

“How much do you know?”

 

“As much as everyone else” He glances at Tendō and the rest as they drink and dance “Oh, they do not count in that _everyone_ ” Rikiu looks back at me

 

“Where is He?”

 

Rikiu bursts in laughter

 

“Hey, as you said, I am just a drug dealer” Rikiu shrugs “Plus, rumor has it that you know him better than anyone else”

 

I decide to look away before he catches the nostalgia in my eyes.

 

He stands up as the lights get dimmer and the DJ plays his intro.

 

 

* * *

“ かんぱい！ (Kanpai!/ **Cheers!** )” Yamagata says for the millionth time as he pours me a drink.

 

“Could you stop saying that for a bit? The fact you say that won’t make it better!” I speak over the music, taking the glass from his hand.

 

“Rude, Iwaizumi-kun!” Yamagata sticks his tongue out and gets back to serve more drinks.

 

I roll my eyes and keep dancing.

 

Shortly after, Yamagata, who is visibly drunk, looks around to see who does not have a drink in hand.

 

“Hey Ushi, have a drink!” He asks a clearly sober Ushijima.

 

“No thanks” Ushijima refuses as he stares at the frenzied crowd below them.

 

_‘He is trying to get us all drunk, isn’t he?’_ I raise my brows

 

“Hey, Ushi!” 

 

Sayuri suddenly dashes in the frame, dancing with two shots in hand. “Have a shot with me!”

 

Ushijima is about to shake his head but his olive eyes linger in Sayuri’s for a moment before he shyly reaches for the glass. I smile widely at the rare sight as Sayuri clinks her glass with his before they swallow the content. Yamagata is standing behind Ushijima, staring at him stupefied.

 

“Dude, you literally just refused my drink!”

 

I simply giggle. 

 

** *play Camouflage by Night Club* **

 

The music starts to shift, and my heart starts to beat faster as my mind begins to guess the song. 

 

“Iwa-senpai!” 

 

My eyes meet Goshiki’s who seems to be reading my mind. The little dialogue at the beginning of the song starts to play and I hurry to grab his hand. We both start circling each other, moving up and about as a warm-up. 

 

“We need to give it our best, Goshiki-kun” I chuckle, quickly glancing to my right “Shīrabu is watching you”

 

“Eh?!” Goshiki begins to blush, still dancing nonetheless

 

I am also giving it my best, yet he still hasn’t seen me. Even though he is talking with Yamagata and Tendō, Eita constantly glances at Tendō’s friend. The delinquent-looking one.

 

Why is he so interested in him? I do not know. 

 

“Iwa-senpai!” Goshiki starts to shake my arm as the beat-drop approaches

 

I smirk

 

_‘All I know is that he will watch me’_

 

Goshiki and I go frenetic, every frequency of sound making every fiber on our bodies go wild. 

 

“Come, Ōhira-senpai!” Goshiki says as he tries to pull the sturdier boy. 

 

Normally, Ōhira would come up with excuses, but it looks like Yamagata’s drinks have work some magic in him. Ōhira immediately starts to dance, more intense than Goshiki and me combined. 

 

I laugh, amused by his unexpected reaction. And I would try to challenge him on the dance floor, but the violent blush of Kawanishi’s face is quite rewarding already. 

 

Before I notice, I am reclining on the veranda, watching Kawanishi shake his hands in excitement as he tries to communicate his feelings to Shīrabu. The latter tries his best to pay attention to Kawanishi yet, of course, he won’t take his eyes off Goshiki. 

 

I sigh, wondering I should give them some advice on how to approach the two boys dancing. 

 

In the blink of an eye, Shīrabu drags Kawanishi to the table and pours liquid in four shot glasses. 

 

“What’s so interesting?” Someone whispers in my ear. 

 

I turn around, finding Eita smirking at me. 

 

“Seeing how those two prepare to make a move” I smile

 

Yet, strangely enough, my smile dissipates when my eyes meet Yamagata’s. I barely think about how I walked out of our mutual courtship without any warning. 

 

Yamagata waves at me as soon as he notices my stare. I wave back, quickly looking away as the guilt embraces me at the same time Eita does. 

 

_‘As Uncle Oikawa has always said, there is no shame in following your heart’_

 

I try to shake off the thoughts of guilt. Instead, I contemplate Ushijima’s indecisiveness as I wallow in my own melancholy. 

 

The boy stands next to Yamagata, yet he has turned his head to face Sayuri and Tendō who stand at the opposite end of the table from Shīrabu and Kawanishi. The two are dancing, lost in each other’s eyes yet their expressions tell the viewer they are bantering instead of being romantic. 

 

_‘Oh Ushi...’_

 

It’s been months now since I have realized Ushijima’s new habits which potentially point at new found feelings. And I have been dying to confirm my hypothesis, yet I am slow to take action, and, sadly, even slower to help a friend. 

 

_‘There is no shame in being detached...’_ I have to think about Uncle Oikawa’s words again before I get sadder. 

 

“Drop it,” Eita giggles as he pats my shoulders. “Come on, let’s dance”

 

I turn around, smiling at him.

 

“Sure!”

 

I am about to touch his shoulder when Sayuri gets in the way. I end up touching her shoulder. 

 

“Oho,” She smirks, holding my waist with her right hand “Valtz it is then!”

 

I roll my eyes when she grabs my other hand and starts carrying me around in a rhythm that is not even close to the actual music playing. 

 

“Oi, cut it out” 

 

Eita tries to approach us yet Sayuri threatens to punch him with our joint hands. This makes her laugh, I guess because of how ridiculous she is acting. 

 

_‘It is nice to see you laughing again though’_

 

Eventually, she gets tired and reclines against the veranda. Immediately, Goshiki grabs me to dance again. Eita and Sayuri stand next to each other, staring at the rave below us. 

 

Goshiki and Ōhira are really hyped right now. Though I am dancing with them, my head is turned to where the siblings are standing. I do not know, maybe if I stare hard enough, I might be able to make up what they are saying. But I have never been good at this, and all I can see is Sayuri’s smile gradually turning into a pout. 

 

“Are you guys spiking or dancing?” Yamagata laughs, remarking how high Goshiki and Ōhira are jumping. 

 

In response, Goshiki stops jumping and approaches Yamagata with a grin on his face. 

 

“Come join—“

 

A hand pulls away Goshiki’s arm who is trying to reach Yamagata’s

 

“Oi, Goshiki~” Shīrabu shouts, holding his hand “Downstairs looks fun, let’s go”

 

Immediately, my eyes meet with Yamagata’s. His surprised face turns to a smirk a second after as Shīrabu pulls Goshiki down the stairs. 

 

“I-I want to go too” Kawanishi speaks up, his cheeks flushed red “Let’s g-go, Ōhira-senpai” 

 

Kawanishi grabs Ōhira’s hand and leaves in a similar fashion as the prior two, except for the expression of embarrassment in Kawanishi’s face in contrast with Shīrabu’s assertive face. 

 

My eyes widen and, and almost instinctively I recline on the veranda to follow the movements of those four. 

 

“Oh, boy” I cannot help but whisper as I see them blend with the crowd. 

 

But a smirk curves up my lips as I put my hand against my mouth to hold my giggles back. 

 

_‘Now this is what I came to see’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not able to finish a couple of illustrations but I will share them all with Chapter 30! (In 2 Weeks)
> 
> Anyways, what is the deal with this Rikiu guy? Eita is a bloodhound?? Is Stella's weakness really Midori and BL??? Valtz Sayuri, really?!
> 
> Until then, let me know what you think in the comments below!  
> [REMEMBER YOU CAN COMMENT WITHOUT HAVING AN ACCOUNT!]


	30. Clouded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! (2 weeks? more like almost 2 MONTHS T.T)  
> However, it is quite a long chapter so brace yourselves and enjoy this WILD ride.
> 
> [PLAYLIST HERE!](https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyfy/playlist/1Q4CLrdA0CY7WB7xjesBTc?si=pf8FkFTcSYGM79Ael8seTw)

“What’s the matter?”

 

The club lights flash all over the place. Thanks to them, I can clearly see Eita’s worried gaze as he stares at the crowd below us. 

 

“What?” He turns to see me, making a clueless face. 

 

But the light hits his face again and his eyes still look distressed. 

 

_‘I bet this takes you back, huh?’_ The beast hugs my shoulders. 

 

_‘You weren’t there’_

 

_‘Oh, but you were there’_

 

I close my eyes and sigh. The club lights hit my eyelids, triggering the image of Eita helping me hop off the limousine with bloodstained fists. 

 

_‘In fact, I think you are still there’_ The beast remarks before it retreats to dance in the shadows. 

 

“What do you mean with what’s the matter?” Eita calls me back from my inner conversation. 

 

“I saw what happened with Rikiu, is everything alright?”

 

“Oh, that?” He laughs, scratching the back of his head “Everything is alright, don’t worry about it”

 

“Wow”

 

“What?” Eita goes back to his naturally coarse face

 

“That is the fakest smile I have seen you pull off”

 

“Better than the day we met?” He smiles shyly

 

I scoff

 

“Well, you’ve been pulling off more of those as of lately”

 

I raise my brows, moving closer to Eita. 

 

“What do you mean?” I rest my arms on the veranda. 

 

“Exactly that,” He bops my nose “You need to get better at it though.”

 

I roll my eyes

 

“You are trying hard tonight,” Eita sighs “I did not know valtz was one of your many ways to cope”

 

“Cope with what?” I pull an incredulous smile

 

But Eita stares at me dead in the eye, making me flinch. 

 

“That night” 

 

His dry voice cuts right through my armor which now appears to be so shallow. I try to laugh yet it feels so bitter, which ends up in my mouth curving up uncomfortably. 

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

Again with that stare. He doesn’t need to say a word to trigger all memories from that night. 

 

_‘How you lied...and how the sweetest moment became a bitter surprise’_ The beast comes back, holding me by the throat

 

“Now, now” Eita pats my head “Do not go all PTSD on me here. I won’t let anything happen. I promise”

 

I sigh, feeling less hectic now. 

 

“Thank you, br—“

 

I stop as soon as I see the smile on his face. 

 

“Nevermind” I scoff

 

“You must be quite tipsy” Eita remarks. 

 

**_*play Quiere Beber by Anuel Aa*_ **

 

I laugh, turning around just because. I do not want to see anything in particular, but what I see is definitely something I do not want to see. 

 

_‘Unlike Eita, I can’t promise anything. And guess what?’_ The beast starts

 

Tendō and Rikiu walk out of the bathroom. Standing in the hall, Rikiu lights two blunts as Tendō laughs hysterically. Their noses look puffy.

 

_'I have the last say over you’_ The beast laughs as I take heavy steps towards those two.

 

“Oh hey” Rikiu exhales a cloud of smoke on my face. 

 

I turn to see Tendō

 

“What the fuck?” I say, a little too loud

 

“I’ll be at the bar if you two need me~” Rikiu sneaks out of the hall. 

 

“Look! You scared him away!” Tendō reclines against the wall, taking a drag off his weed. “You are so wild” He giggles, exhaling. 

 

I snatch the blunt from his hand, tossing it on the floor. 

 

“You” I stomp on the blunt, “said,” another stomp “you” stomp “weren’t” two stomps “going to do it again” I repeatedly step on the blunt until it is unusable. 

 

Tendō simply laughs, hugging me by the shoulders to walk out to the lounge “Relax!”

 

I pout

 

“Come on!” Tendō grabs my waist, pulling me closer to him “Let’s dance~”

 

My heart skips a beat. It has been a while since somebody has touched me like this. 

 

_‘What was his name? Enshin?’_

 

I sigh, smiling at this cruel irony. Nonetheless, I follow his lead. 

 

“How has your night been so far?” Tendō asks

 

“It has been alright, yours?” I smile gently

 

“Hasn’t surpassed that night, I see. I ac—“ He stops, looking away and laughs to himself. 

 

_‘It is better than having him break down like before’_ The beast sighs _‘You selfish fuck’_

 

“Anyways!” He holds my waist tightly, spinning me around “I am feeling great”

 

I simply nod. 

 

But Tendō is feisty. He grabs my chin to make me stare into his eyes. His scleras are redder than before. His expression is torn between frustration and triumph. 

 

“You know~” I smell the leftover marihuana scent coming out of his mouth “I am feeling really good on what I am on”

 

I smirk, removing his hand from my chin. I still hold it nonetheless, starting to swing to the beat without breaking eye contact. 

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“I don’t break down every time”

 

“Looks like you have done it a lot of times to have that much figured out”

 

Tendō laughs and the music gets louder. His laughter mixes perfectly with the beat as he realizes he got the facts he was relaying to me all mixed up. 

 

“You have such a bitter face right now,” He remarks

 

I scoff

 

“This night is to live it up, to relax and forget all that has happened”

 

“My memory is too good for that”

 

“You could use a little help”

 

_‘You definitely could’_ The beast nods, standing next to Tendō

 

My hands are starting to tremble. Why would they point out that night so much? Why would they when I am trying so hard to forget?

 

_‘Shutting off your thoughts won’t do at this point’_

 

Tendō pulls me closer, lips against my ear “You do not have to act so tough, Sayuri”

 

My resolution wavers. Almost as a reflex, I whisper. 

 

“What is it that is so good about it?”

 

Tendō laughs gently in my ear “Well, it can make you feel more in the moment, and”

 

He pats exactly where I have strapped the knife. I open my eyes wide, shocked about how Tendō, in his current state was able to notice. 

 

“Make you forget that cold steel against your leg and war in your mind altogether”

 

I put his hand away, and hold him by the shoulders. I stare straight into his eyes as if to stand my ground. 

 

“I can take it” I gulp

 

“Can you really?” Tendō raises his brows “I can see this is eating you alive”

 

I widen my eyes

 

_‘We all need to eat in order to live’_ The beast sucks on its paws which are now covered in blood. 

 

“Am I wrong?”

 

_‘Come on, Sayuri~’_ The beast laughs _‘You are running low and I am still hungry!’_

 

I can already see Tendō reaching out something on his pocket as I am about to gasp. 

 

Soon enough, he catches a tear coming out my left eye before it rolls further down my cheek. Without thinking twice, I part my lips and stick my tongue out for him to place the laminate. 

 

Simple as that, the beast’s laughs were drowned. 

 

* * *

Ōhira is dragged away by Kawanishi, leaving me here standing alone with a drink in hand. Immediately, I look around to locate Sayuri. 

 

There she is looking graceful and valiant in her party clothes and confident gaze. Tendō is staring at her defiantly, both dancing nonetheless. 

 

For a second, I see Stella’s blonde hair from the corner of my eye, making me turn to see her walking towards Eita. 

 

And a second is all that it takes for the scene to change. 

 

_ ‘Why does it look like she is breaking down?’ _

 

“Oi, Wakatoshi” Yamagata pats my back. 

 

‘Why is Tendō holding her face now?’

 

“Dude, what are you staring at? Let’s go get more drinks!” Yamagata starts pulling me

 

_‘Wait, no’_

 

I am unable to resist Yamagata’s pull

 

_‘No’_

 

I do not want to move my body at this moment. I just want to stare at her, make sure she is okay. 

 

_‘Tendō is already looking to it’_ The thought crosses my mind as soon as we get to the bar. 

 

“Two gingersnaps!” Yamagata tells the waiter with his usual joyous voice. 

 

_‘Fuck’_  

 

I put one hand on my forehead and support my arms on the countertop. I want to turn and look at her again. 

 

_‘You are hurting’_

 

I refrain to look, knowing it would only make me hurt more. Yet I want to know what Tendō said to Sayuri that made her get like that. 

 

The bartender puts the drink in front of me. 

 

_‘You are caring too much’_

 

I down it without a second thought. 

 

_‘Stop’_

 

I push the empty glass forward to get a refill. 

 

_‘She has pushed you away already’_

 

* * *

_‘Now what?!’_

 

I gulp nervously. On the other hand, Shīrabu is already all lovey-dovey dancing with Goshiki. 

 

_‘Come on, Kawanishi. You made a move. You are already here. Seize it’_

 

I turn to see Ōhira dancing happily next to me. His dimples are revealed by the now orange lights of the club. 

 

I cannot help but smile as well. I open my mouth about to say something. 

 

“Be careful, dumbass” Shīrabu tells me, pushing me. 

 

Suddenly, I find myself pressed against Ōhira. 

 

“Oi, are you alright?” He holds my arms as he looks at me with those deep, brown eyes. 

 

I nod, looking away as I begin to blush. Shīrabu is smirking at me. 

 

Startled, I face Ōhira again, who is still staring deeply at me while holding my arms. 

 

Screaming inside, I smile. 

 

I do not know if my smile was the signal he was waiting for. Ōhira leans forward, bringing his lips close to my already reddened ears. 

 

“Want to dance with me?”

 

**_*play Show it 2 Me by Night Club*_ **

 

For a second, I fail to breathe.

 

_‘Thank God!!!’_ I feel my expression shifting slowly to one of awe. I probably look like a dork too. 

 

“I will take that as a yes” Ōhira chuckles, perhaps delighted by my ridiculous reaction. 

 

I avoid eye contact as he places my arms over his shoulders. A foolish smile still lingers on my lips. 

 

“Oi!!” Goshiki waves at us, standing a little farther than before. “Is that how you dance?!”

 

I gulp out of irritation as I see Shīrabu’s smug face. 

 

_‘I know they are trying to help me, but aren’t they overdoing it?!’_

 

Immediately after, Shīrabu pulls Goshiki to dance close against each other to the rhythm of the rather steamy song playing at the moment. 

 

“You see? Like this!” Goshiki shouts again, raising his arm as Shīrabu goes for his neck while holding onto his kouhai’s hips. 

 

Ōhira scoffs against my ear. 

 

Suddenly, I try to jump back as he holds both my hips with his big, warm and strong hands. 

 

“Just follow my league” He whispers again, with a sensual tone unlike before. 

 

Somewhat like Goshiki, Ōhira presses our bodies together which move up and down based on the movement of our hips. 

 

I follow Ōhira’s hands' motions, moving my hips shyly. I do not know if my heart can take this. 

 

_‘I didn’t know he could dance like this’_ I think, biting my tongue inside my mouth. 

 

But then again, he is my senpai and he probably has experience acquired from moments he has never told me before. 

 

I feel one of his warm hands holding the side of my face. Until now, my gaze has been diverged yet now I make eye contact with him. 

 

Ōhira keeps holding my face, making sure I do not shy away like before. His intentions plaster a smile in my face. 

 

So I follow, staring deep into his eyes as we dance. My cheeks are flushed red, not going to lie about that. 

 

Soon enough, we start to laugh, letting know each other that both of us are not as bold as we are pretending to be. 

 

_‘This is comforting’_  

 

Both of our heartbeats go much slower. Ōhira pulls me in for a hug, perhaps so as to keep feeling my quiet heartbeat. 

 

He has hugged me before but this time feels different, especially by the way he holds my hips.

 

His lips envelop mine. I close my eyes and indulge in the kiss. Once again, my heart starts to beat fast. I never knew this could feel so good. 

 

The thoughts on how it came to be like this started running through my mind to the rhythm of my heartbeat. 

 

And then it hits me. 

 

My heart also palpitated this fast when I was gasping for dear life on that cold lake. 

 

_‘Why is my heart beating this way?’_

 

I pull away from the kiss, meeting Ōhira’s confused eyes. 

 

_‘Am I gonna die?’_

 

Suddenly I feel everyone around me pushing. Why are they doing so? 

 

I push Ōhira away. Hell, I push everyone. The flash of the club lights is making me dizzy as I hyperventilate. 

 

And I want to scream. I want to scream though I know nothing is wrong and that it is all inside me. 

 

“Kawanishi-senpai!” 

 

Are those Goshiki’s screams? I am pretty sure someone is drilling through my head. 

 

No longer can I hear my screams. I grab onto my head, as to reassure I still exist. 

 

Now I feel a pair of hot irons burning my skin. Yet I can distinguish Ōhira’s face in my blurry vision. 

 

I can only hear him say ‘Ka’ but every other futile attempt of speech gets completely filtered out by the ringing on my ears. 

 

Everything goes black. At least my ears are not ringing now. 

 

* * *

The surface of the bar is reflecting the now flashing green lights of the club. So is the glass I have just settled in the table after downing it. 

 

“Oi oi, Ushijima~” Yamagata laughs with widened eyes “Are you alright, dude?”

 

I nod

 

“Cool” He pats my back “because I think I’ll go dance for a bit”

 

Moving his chin up, Yamagata points back to our lounge. I see Stella swaying to the music, rather aloof to her surroundings. 

 

I turn back to see Yamagata. His brown eyes show the gauge of his excitement has been fueled by alcohol. 

 

“You can go, I’ll be fine on my own” 

 

Yamagata chuckles, standing up. “Thanks, man!” His eyes are firing up as if he has stepped on the gas pedal. 

 

_‘Is he planning to make a move?’_

 

Turning around, I see him approaching Stella without hesitation. 

 

I sigh, bending my upper half over the table and putting my head down. 

 

_‘What a fool’_

 

I pout. Was that last statement for Yamagata? Or was it really for me?

 

I gulp. 

 

Immediately, I press my forehead against the table as the urge to look her way grows exponentially. 

 

_‘Forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it’_

 

I shut my eyes. The dizziness induced by alcohol is hitting me. 

 

“Fuck it,” I say under my breath. 

 

I incorporate, turning to face the lounge. It takes my eyes a few seconds to spot her. 

 

But when I do, I clench my teeth. 

 

Tendō presses a blunt against her lips. 

 

* * *

Eventually, Rikiu brought some friends from another lounge. They are nice; we are dancing harmoniously. 

 

So harmonious, I feel like we are in a sort of festival. The electronic beat of the club music is now perceived by my ears as drums. 

 

Suddenly, Tendō hugs me as he dances. I hug him back. He starts chanting. I start chanting. Rikiu’s friends start chanting. We start jumping around. Always harmoniously, never in a rave. 

 

I can’t seem to learn their names, but I definitely know their faces. Angelic faces; they smile warmly at me. 

 

Here, I don’t need to worry about a thing. 

 

The drink Tendō offers me tastes like liquid honey. Closing my eyes, I indulge in it. After I am done, I set the glass on the table. It disintegrates as mist. 

 

“You are such a good friend, Tendō-chan!” I cling onto him, laughing. 

 

“I am happy to see you like this, Sayuri! It has been a while” He hugs me back. 

 

I look up to him, smiling. Yet, as my eyes squint, his angelic face turns to one of a demon for a fraction of a second. 

 

Scared, I push Tendō back. Though his face turns back to be as beautiful as before, I still distance myself from him. I am confused. 

 

**_*play Sodium Trimmers by Clark*_ **

 

_‘Can’t I trust my eyes?’_

 

Tendō, probably noticing the abrupt shift of my attitude, reaches for something on his pocket. 

 

A gasp escapes my lips as he hands me the tiny, stiff corpse of a white rabbit. 

 

_‘Can’t I accept what he offers me?’_

 

I turn my back on him. A pair of menacing golden eyes staring back at me from the far end of the dimly lit room. 

 

The owner of those eyes is perched on the veranda. It leans forward as if preparing to jump towards me. 

 

I cannot help but shut my eyes as it spreads its wings. 

 

An odd taste invades my mouth but I inhale it anyway as a byproduct of trying to catch my breath. I recognize the smell of weed. 

 

As soon as I open my eyes, I find another pair of yellow eyes. I could say they are the same as before if it were not for their tranquil expression. The owner of these eyes is sitting on the veranda, holding a harp with both of its arms. 

 

I look down at the mere blunt hanging from my lips and Tendō’s milky white hand holding it. 

 

“There, there,” He pats my shoulder with his other hand. 

 

Smiling, I take another drag on the blunt as I close my eyes. 

 

Suddenly, a draft of air snatches the warmth of Tendō’s hand away from my face. 

 

“What the hell are you doing, Tendō?!”

 

I quickly open up my eyes as well as my mouth. I find myself blowing smoke at Ushijima’s face. 

 

He clicks his tongue out of anger.

 

The two pupils of his eyes open as mouths to scream; the light reflection on his eyes are pearly white teeth.

 

‘WHY DO YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS?’ They scream

 

The teeth fall off his eyes in a downstream to his chin. I think I blew too much smoke at him.

 

“That is quite rude, Wakatoshi-kun”

 

I turn to see Tendō who is stepping on the blunt, talking to Ushijima with a bittersweet voice.

 

“Do you know how much those cost?” Tendō sighs, sounding a little exasperated now.

 

“I don’t care about that” Ushijima replies in a dry voice. I can see the smoke of the club surrounding his face being abruptly pushed away by his heavy, nasal exhale.

 

Gently, Tendō places his hand over my shoulder.

 

“Then why are you here?” Tendō questions him in a similarly dry yet disdainful tone.

 

Ushijima tries to keep a straight face yet the teeth on his eyes are clenched. 

 

“To take Sayuri away from you” 

 

Ushijima grabs my arm quite forcefully. I pull back. 

 

“I am alright here” I smile at Ushijima

 

“Oi, cut it out, dude!” Tendō frees me from Ushijima’s grasp “There are a lot of people here. Do not make a scene”

 

“That is exactly why you shouldn’t be doing drugs in here” Ushijima’s voice aggravates.

 

Tendō and I look at each other, both taken aback by his tone. 

 

Tendō scoffs. 

 

“Get a life, dude”

 

In the blink of an eye yet over the course of hours of frame by frame motion, I witness Ushijima’s coarse hands gently reaching Tendō neck. 

 

“Wakatoshi what the fuck?!” Tendō shouts

 

I find myself standing in front of Ushijima whose expression softens to one of fear and realization. 

 

“Get off her!” 

 

Tendō rips away the thorns embedded in my throat. For a second, I have to cough, gasping for air. 

 

I look up to Ushijima. He has clenched his fists, his teeth, his soul. He looks so conflicted. 

 

“Why are you involving her in your shit?”

 

“Dude~ it is not my fault she walks into it”

 

“As friends, we are supposed to protect each other, what are you doing?!”

 

“Is it friendship if you have to hide things from each other?”

 

“Yes!”

 

Tendō grabs Ushijima’s shirt neck

 

“That is solely bland consideration. A friend should be able to put up with my shit”

 

Ushijima simply squints his eyes at the redhead. 

 

Tendō sighs, looking at the taller boy in extreme disappointment. 

 

“You are so fake, Ushijima”

 

As Tendō turns around to walk away, I slowly stretch my arm towards Ushijima. 

 

“Ushi...”

 

“Oi, Tendō”

 

The sound of skin and bone clashing overpowers the club music for an instant. 

 

Tendō, whose head did not fully turn at Ushijima’s call, dramatically veered back after the punch. 

 

With widened eyes of shock, Tendō instinctively brings his hands to his face. Just as he feared, his fingers were dyed red. 

 

With a deadpan face, Ushijima brings his hands to his face in a similar fashion as Tendō. Yet, the way he bends his fingers suggests that he is trying to cling onto his face. 

 

I hurry to grab Ushijima’s shoulder as his knees weaken. 

 

Suddenly, a green-colored acid violently spurs out Ushijima’s mouth. The floor is melting off due to the bubbling liquid. 

 

“Tendō” I shout at the boy who is still paralyzed 

 

I look back to Ushijima. His eyes are lost in the pool beneath him. Perhaps in awe to see all the toxic shit that was inside him spilled out. 

 

I try to shake him off his trance. 

 

“Tendō, please help him!” I shout again as I tightly grab Ushijima’s shoulder. 

 

No answer

 

“Tendō”

 

Nothing

 

“Tendō Satorī”

 

He pulls his hand away from his nose. 

 

“Come on, don’t just stand there!”

 

Still staring at the blood on his hand. 

 

“Tendō, Goddamn!”

 

He sighs. 

 

“Te—“

 

Suddenly, he turns to look down on me. I shiver, taken aback. There is hellfire in his red eyes. I have never seen him so full of hatred. 

 

Yet, I am about to open my mouth again. 

 

He shouts from the top of his lungs. 

 

“THE STUCK UP CAN DROWN IN HIS VOMIT FOR ALL I CARE”

 

I widen my eyes at the sight of monstrous wings flapping behind his back as he swings his leg towards Ushijima. 

* * *

“Oi, oi, oi, Stella-chan~”

 

I turn around to face Yamagata who is walking towards me. 

 

“Oh, hey!” I smile

 

“Why so alone?” He says as he reclines on the veranda. 

 

Still smiling, I simply look away, back to the crowd below us.

 

“Aw come on! Let’s go dance!” Yamagata offers me his hand.

 

“Down there?” I chuckle

 

“Don’t worry, you will be alright with me” He laughs

 

“Well then,” 

 

Carefully, I reach out to lend him my hand as if I was tending him my heart. Yet his warm hand grabs mine firmly, securing it. Immediately he starts walking me down the stairs, excitedly and fast yet not dragging me along.

 

For a second, I cannot help think but to think of Eita. The way I always grab his hand and squeeze it as if I am shoving my heart for him to hold.

 

_‘Must be nice’_

 

But those thoughts dissipate as Yamagata spins me around as soon as we secure a spot on the dance floor. 

 

And we start to dance, showing off our moves to each other, jumping around and, of course, making the silliest faces as we badly throw rap lines of the songs playing to each other.

 

We have always been like this; silly and over the top. Yamagata has always been one of my best friends. It is safe to say that after Lily-chan, he is my second best friend.

 

 

_‘If Tendō could hear you~'_ I giggle.

 

_‘How did things turned out so awkward between us if we are simply good friends?’_

 

I find him with a relaxed yet seductive expression as a new song cues in and the smoke on the club rises.

 

_‘Shit’_ I react to this answer to my question.

 

We keep dancing nonetheless, each one doing their own thing. Yet as the song progresses, Yamagata’s stare becomes more intense by the second.

 

Now, I am avoiding to make eye contact trying to save myself from being burnt. But Yamagata does not let me off the hook so easily.

 

“Oi,” He gets closer and I have to look up to his blazing hot brown eyes. “Want to dance to this one?”

 

I gulp

 

“But we are already dancing,” I say, yet that is the lamest excuse I could have come up with.

And indeed he does not buy it. Gently yet confident, Yamagata grabs my waist with both hands.

 

“You know what I mean”

 

I know it is cheesy but, right now, I could melt in his arms.

 

“Sure” I dismiss the awkwardness by laughing as I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

 

Bettering my posture and with these heels, I can almost stand eye to eye with him which, if you ask me, makes the situation much awkward.

 

I try to keep smirking even though Yamagata is looking dead serious right now.

 

_‘I cannot read him’_ I avoid eye contact as if that is going to make anything better.

 

Futile. I start burning again as Yamagata moves my hips to the rhythm of the music. With each note, I become less stiff and our dancing becomes more flirtatious. The appearances are melting and so are the barriers of my mind which second guess the nature of our friendship.

 

Yet I am not afraid, I feel like I can still be self-contained, not lose myself with this friend of mine. Yamagata holds me, but it is not to take something away from me. He supports me.

 

_‘Besides, you would never cheat. You are not like that, Iwaizumi Stella’_

 

**_*play Down by Moinè ft. Spada*_ **

 

Yet the warmth is burning me again and I can see this is hurting Yamagata too.

 

By now, we are just staring at each other’s eyes, begging the other to do something about this.

 

“Aren’t you two dancing a little too close?”

 

Widening my eyes, I find Eita next to us with his arms crossed. Definitely not amused.

 

Yamagata turns to see him and freezes for a second; we keep dancing nonetheless.

 

“You can stop now”

 

Yet Yamagata keeps fighting it off. But our fire becomes weaker by the second as the hell arising from Eita’s stare is engulfing all the oxygen in the room.

 

“Dammit!” Yamagata says under his breath before he lets me go. 

 

He does not look at me in the eye yet turns defiantly to face Eita.

 

“It was just a dance, goddamn” He says exasperated, inhaling deeply.

 

“You can leave now, Yamagata” Eita says in a monotone voice.

 

“It is not like you were with her any time tonight” Yamagata says a little too loud, most likely intentionally as he starts walking away.

 

However, Eita stops him right on his tracks by holding his arm.

 

“What did you say?” 

 

“That you are a selfish piece of shit” 

 

Yamagata’s eyes are filled more with disgust than jealousy.

 

“You are clearly drunk” Eita dismisses his comment with a laugh, pulling him closer nonetheless

 

“It does not take a genius to see that you are not treating Stella right”

 

I hug my waist as his comments easily carve out my insecurities.

 

“You are not being too nice, Yamagata”

 

Yamagata grits his teeth and pushes Eita away

 

“Neither are you! We don’t even know what your deal is!”

 

“Yamagata-kun!” I shout, shocked by his reaction. Eita is right, he is quite drunk.

 

“Calm down, dude” Eita chuckles, a little cynically now “You are being annoying now”

 

“Oh! Am I?” Yamagata laughs openly “You know what is also annoying? That cool facade you carry yourself around in. For all we know, you could be a psychopath!”

 

Eita widens his eyes.

 

“Oi, Stella!” Yamagata points at me “Remind me why did you start dating this guy, he is not cool at all. Do you really think he is cooler than me?” His voice is starting to break.

 

Eita grabs him by the neck of his t-shirt, shaking him rather violently.

 

“Dude, seriously, stop.” 

 

But Yamagata does the most savage thing. He spits right on Eita’s face.

 

“Sayuri was right to hate you at the beginning. I do not know how she could soften up to those bloodth—“

 

Eita does not let him finish. Like a tennis ball, he tosses a little forward and lands a punch, knocking the lights out of Yamagata.

 

I found my gasping, unable to believe my eyes.

 

As soon as Yamagata collapses on the floor, there is a scream from above. 

 

“—FOR ALL I CARE”

 

All the stares look at the lounge—our lounge— where the scream came from. 

 

My eyes meet with Eita’s. Immediately, he takes me by the hand to I showed no opposition to. 

 

We both knew we need to leave. 

 

Yet I turn back to see Yamagata, unconscious on the dance floor. 

 

“Senpai!” 

 

I recognize Goshiki’s voice. And I soon as I do, I wish to get far away from the scene. Yet being in a crowd is futile. I make eye contact with Goshiki from afar. The bright light on his eyes has been dimmed by disappointment. 

 

I have to cover my mouth as I gasp at the sight of Ōhira carrying Kawanishi on his back who seems to be unconscious. 

 

_This is my fault’_

 

The thoughts of me being a burden flood my mind as I follow Eita up the stairs. 

 

_'If I had tried a little harder; a little harder to stop that conflict’_

 

Eita starts cutting through the crowded lounge. 

 

_‘Am I simply a bystander?’_ I shake my head, trying to deny the most evident question. 

 

“What the hell is going on here?!” Eita shouts when we reach the trio.

 

I halt at the scene which addresses my question with an overwhelming response.

 

There is a pool of vomit in front of Ushijima who is still coughing, unable to stop Tendō from kicking him on the gut. Apparently, Lily-chan forgot all her training and is simply pulling on Tendō’s shirt in an attempt to stop him.

 

Not another second passes and Eita has thrown Tendō against the wall.

 

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” Eita yells right on Tendō’s face.

 

Yet the taller boy’s stare is blank. Eita grits his teeth. Still holding Tendō’s shoulders, he turns around to look at Lily-chan.

 

“Pick him up!” He shouts at her.

 

She immediately snaps out of it and starts to wrap his arm around her shoulders. I hurry with some tissues to clean the vomit off his mouth.

 

_‘This is the least I can do’_

 

“Can you help me hold him from the other side?” Lily-chan asks me.

 

“Sure”

 

Yet, when I make eye contact with her, I cannot help but notice her usually sharp pupils shaped as two big orbs.

 

“Are you on drugs, Lily-chan?” I do not know if it was the shock, but that came out quite upfront.

 

Immediately, she looks away, biting her lip in remorse.

 

“We are leaving” Eita takes my spot and instead helps Lily-chan hold Ushijima up. “Now” He gives me the keys.

 

As we head out, Rikiu approaches me since I am walking in front.

 

“Leaving so early?” He smirks “I’m kidding, have fun with your boyfriend~”

 

Yet his expression becomes blank and suddenly so amused after Eita and the other two approach us.

 

“OH! Never mind” Rikiu widens his eyes

 

“Keep moving” Eita says with a rather cold tone.

 

As we finally reach the exit, Rikiu yells from the back.

 

“Seems like some things never change, yeah?”

 

Eita clicks his tongue out of exasperation yet heads out without looking back.

 

_‘I am not sure what he meant but no, they do not’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [FEATURED ILLUSTRATIONS!](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=71925552)
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**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Leave kudos and comment feedback!


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